GUILT SEASON II (MAIN TENU SAMJHAVAN KI) CH-54

Sumi was busy arranging Vikram’s room. “Yeh ladka bhi na. Hope Sriti comes home soon. I can’t handle this more” she murmured while she arranged the bed sheets.

“Maa” that word and the voice made her feel more alive suddenly. She stopped her work and stood numb. A tear tripped her eye fearing may be it was just her dream. She did not wanted her heart to break again like every time she feels she heard her voice but she was never really there.

She did not had the courage to face it. Vikram held her shoulders and she jerked initially and looked at her son gathering herself. He nodded his head and she held his hand tightly.

Her heart felt dead when her dream came finally true. Ragvi stood there holding her tears.

How can her mother still have the same love for her even after so many years. Truly said the feeling a mother has never changes may whatever happen. She might punish you for your mistakes but her love never decreases.

Ragvi took a deep breath before running into  her mother’s arms who was standing still without moving. “my…” Sumi exhaled a sharp breath. “my baby” she completed the sentence covering Ragvi.

“And where do you find such kamal ki smile?” Vikram who was looking at his mother and sister felt like he heard Ragini and turned to his left where his illusion from past Ragini was standing with her elbow resting on his shoulder.

“All because of you” he said smiling at her. “We love you mom” he screeched like he was screaming along with Ragini and Sumi looked at him and Ragvi came out of her hug and looked at him confused.

“We?” asked she. “Haa he and his bacha” Sumi said wiping her tears. “Bacha means Kumud dee?” she asked excited though her mind knew her sister had gone to a world from where she will not return.

“No your Kumud dee’s shadow. Jhalli,Bak bak ki dukan, half crack, and what not but she is for me Ms. Collider. Whom right now your brother is mentioning” Sahil walked inside the room with a huge smile on his face.

Ragvi was a bit uncomfortable when Sahil described Ragini. May be it was that jealousy or may be she was feeling uncomfortable to fit in the scene after such a long gap.

She gave him a tight smile. “Oh hello Mr. Karela Kumar Sadu Sahil. Don’t talk bad about my bacha when she is not here alright?” Vikram warned Sahil.

“Only she calls me that Sadu Sahil alright?” Sahil warned. Sumi nodded looking at both of them. “Sounds like she never let you miss others” Ragvi spoke lowly which only Sumi heard and she looked at her daughter indifferently.

“Ragvi” Sumi called and she turned and gave a smile to her mother. “Take rest” Sumi caressed her cheek. “The left one okay. Right one is Ragu’s” Sahil said while Ragvi was out side the room. Ragvi did not turn but changed her direction of walking and reached her new room.

She closed the door and leaned to it looking up. She closed her eyes and remembered how Sahil spoke and a tear tripped her eye.

She walked further and reached the family picture of their. She caressed Kumud’s face. “I miss you dee. I miss you” she controlled her cry.

Chitti na koi sandes Jaane wo kaunsa des tum chale gaye…
Ek aah bhari hogi hum ne na suni hogi
Jaane se pehle tumne awaaz tho di hogi

That pain is intolerable when you don’t realize what you lost for forever and suddenly after so many years finding out it makes the pain multiplied by the amount of time you remained unaware of it. Ragvi was in the same state.

Those years not just have snatched every little happy moments she could have lived with her family but also it has snatched the pain tolerating capacity.
She slid down the wall and crumbled feeling helpless and feeling that immense pain realizing her dee will never come back and she did not speak to her sister for the last time. Didn’t her sister had the wish to talk to her. Sure she might have. And Ragvi could not give her sister the last thing she wished for. Her good bye.

And now it has become a unheard word which is piercing her heart and making it bleed with guilt. She did not give her sister a peaceful good bye. She could not give.

Is there any limit for her bad fortunes?

***.***

Ragini walked inside the office and everyone just looked at her the way Sanskar walked along with her. Tarun who was thinking something holding a file looked at Ragini and the file in his hand dropped.

“OMG Barbie doll” his eyes widened with shock. “Are you dreaming Tarun?” Riya asked and looked at Tarun.

She followed his gaze and found Ragini looking at everyone.

“Oh my ears gonna bleed again” she covered her ears. Ragini looked at all the new faces.

Sanskar stopped and Ragini collided with him. “Riya” he called and Riya who was shocked jerked. She walked to him swiftly and stood in front of him. He smiled at her.

“Won’t you meet your friend?” asked Sanskar. Riya looked behind him. “Friend?” Ragini asked innocently and Riya looked at her confused.

She never knew why Ragini stopped coming to office. Neither she knew why Sanskar moved to Singapore. She just knew something happened which made all the things worse.

“Um hm” Sanskar brought her front and made her stand in front of Riya. Ragini looked at her innocently. “Hai” she said and Riya was not understanding why was Ragini behaving like she doesn’t know Riya.

“I’m sorry. I have no track of my life. So I don’t remember you. I’m really sorry. But I promise I will make better memories” she said like a small kid. And Riya smiled through her teary eyes.

“You surely will” Riya caressed her cheek nodding her head.

“Was I working here Dumbledore?” Ragini asked walking behind Sanskar. Riya nodded her head. She was happy that Ragini did not forgot her feelings for Sanskar.

She watched Sanskar and Ragini and smiled walking to her place and narrated Tarun everything. He smiled looking at Ragini who was talking to Sanskar with all her expressions. “At least she is still the cutest barbie doll” he said and Riya nodded her head smiling.

“Can I see the outside? I’m bored here” Ragini said pouting. Sanskar nodded his head looking at the laptop. Ragini walked out of the office. First she looked at the fountain and smiled like a small kid.

Then she reached the gate. The ice cream on the other side of the road was tempting her. Luckily the road was closed on one side for construction and she walked to reach the ice cream shop.

Ragini bought her favorite chocolate and started savoring it. “Ragini” she heard Sanskar calling her standing at the gate. He glared her placing his hands on his waist. She pleaded him that she will finish that and come. He looked at the one side of the road as half the road was open for driving and crossed it. Ragini walked on the empty side of the road to reach him.

But suddenly the time threw its dice and the surrounding around Ragini changed.

She saw vehicles moving with high speed. She saw Ansh running on the road and she behind him and Sanskar from the other side.
She saw herself holding Ansh and then Sanskar standing in front of her and their eyes met painfully. He pushed her towards the road. Ragini watched Sanskar being hit by the truck.

“Sanskar” she screamed finding his body flying over a car and then landing on the ground and a car stopping just an inch away. His eyes searching her on the side of the road and that smile of satisfaction.

She left out that breath she held for so long as the surrounding changed. Her body felt like it’s life has been sucked out suddenly.

“Sanskar” she screamed reaching the same spot. His blood covered body disappeared. “Sanskar” she screamed like that was her last word.

She scanned the ground searching for him. Beating the ground and trying to dig the road she was searching for him.

“Ragini” Sanskar reached her. “Sanskar… Sanskar… Where is he?” she spoke crying bitterly. “Ragini.. See I’m here” he placed his hand on her shoulder. She stopped and turned to look at him.

“God. I felt I lost you. I saw you being hit by the truck” she said hugging him. “Thank god” she said trying to control her cry.

Sanskar hugged her and tried to relax her.

“But I saw you. It was so real Sanskar” she wiped her tears. “Did I?” she just stared blankly.

“Has this happened in past?” she looked into his eyes and his heart stopped beating. “Listen Biwi” he held her shoulders.

“Tell me” she screamed and Sanskar looked at her painfully.

“It has” she spoke weakly.

“That means you were about to die because of me?” she looked at him as the pain was intolerable.

“That means I was about to kill you” she stared the ground. “I…” she looked up at him. “I was responsible for your accident” she looked at him squeezing her eyes.

“You were about to die because of me… you were about to die because of me….” she repeated like a lost person. “Ragini” Sanskar screamed to bring her back to reality.

“I would have killed you” she said looking at him painfully. He nodded his head looking painfully at her. “No” he whispered touching her forehead with his.

“I…” she fainted in his arms making his heart to sink. He was not ready to see her in this state. How could he?

“Ragini… Ragini…” he patted her cheek worried but she did not open her eyes.

****.****

Vikram walked inside the clinic all worried. “Sanky” he knelt in front of Sanskar who was staring the empty wall. “What happened to my bacha?” asked he as tears fought in his eyes.

Sanskar looked up at Vikram. “She won’t leave me na Vikky?” he asked painfully. Vikram hugged Sanskar. “How will she go away from you when you won’t ever let her go?” asked Vikram.

“I will lose her” he held Vikram’s shoulder tightly. “You won’t Sanky. You will never” Vikram patted Sanskar’s back.

The doctor came out of the ward and Sanskar and Vikram looked at him and stood up.

“Mr. Rawat please come to my cabin” the doctor walked towards his cabin and Sanskar followed him along with Vikram.

“It’s complicated” the doctor squeezed his hands looking at both of them. Sanskar looked at him worried.

“You should have been careful with her. You know her trauma. And” he stopped and looked at them.

“She is pregnant and she needs really special care” the sentence stopped Sanskar’s world.

“What?” he asked as he was confused whether to be happy or be sad of the things just happened.

“If anything like this repeats then I can’t assure you anything. She has to be treated more carefully now. Such mental stress is life threatening at this stage” the doctor warned him and Sanskar sat there like he was unsure of his own emotions.

“I’m going to be Mama?” Vikram spoke excited. “God. I need to see her now” he said walking out of the doctor’s cabin.

“You have to keep her away from anything reminds of her some incident which was stressful. I suggest don’t let her remember anything from the past because even the happy moments come with the same excitement” he said and Sanskar was still recollecting himself.

“Bacha” Vikram rushed inside Ragini’s ward. Ragini was still unconscious. He walked to her and sat beside her. He slowly caressed her hair. She felt his touch and started recovering.

She moved in her sleep and opened her eyes. “Bhayyu” she whispered and Vikram dropped that tear which was fighting at the edge.

She got up and immediately hugged him. He hugged her tightly to convey how much he had missed her.

Sanskar who came there stood at the door looking at them. “I was responsible for Sanskar’s accident Bhayyu. I was about to kill him” Ragini hiccuped.

Sanskar looked defeated. How can he fight and get nothing in return. How can he fight and still not able to save Ragini. How is he going to?

Vikram brought her to face him. He looked at her confused. “That day outside the office…” she was about to narrate but Vikram had understood already.

“Shhh bacha” he placed his finger on her lips. “Please don’t panic” he said and Ragini relaxed. “What I had told you about memories?” he asked.

“They may be painful. But your pain is the evidence that you will never re-live them. They come to teach you” she repeated her brother’s words looking at him.

“Exactly. And it wasn’t your mistake that day. Sanskar loves you and Ansh. He wanted to save you. Will you be happy if he lives with the guilt that he could not save you both?” asked Vikram and Ragini nodded her head in a NO.

“Now stop worrying about it” he wiped her tears. “It was past. See your madly in love husband is here. Right with you. So live this life like you never lived” he pointed at Sanskar.

Ragini looked at Sanskar and was about to run. “No baccha. You are not alone now. You have one more life to take care” he pointed at her stomach.

Ragini looked at him shocked and he nodded his head. She looked at him emotionally. She hugged her bhayyu excited.

“Thank you for making me Mama again” he said caressing her cheek. She smiled and walked to Sanskar. He was still not in a state to react.

“Sorry” she held her ears cutely. “I scare you na?” she asked and she was being crushed in his embrace in a second.

“You just don’t scare me. You almost make me feel dead and then breath a new life again. You know how it feels bandariya. You have any idea” he burst into a bitter cry. She moved her hand to rub his back. “I’m sorry” she whispered kissing his head.

“Don’t you do this with me again. Don’t you dare” he warned dragging her near.

A new challenge awaited him. Was he ready to face it?

****.*** 
So how was this.?