Swasan : Destiny (Episode 46)

**Three weeks later…**

Sanskar’s pov ~~

Only I knew how I had survived these three weeks. Being away from Swara, was the hardest thing to do, and this time, it was even harder. She hadn’t called or even messaged, which wasn’t really surprising. I gave her no reason to call.

We had got the contract like a boss, and were heading back home. I was glad that I didn’t let anything affect the deal. I celebrated for my professional life and cried like a baby over my personal life.

First few days of the trip were rough. I missed Swara like hell. I was lost, but then I somehow convinced myself. And now finally I was getting to see her again after such a long time.

I knew she would be angry. She would yell at me for walking out on her, she would hate me for sometime, but in the end, I would all be worth it. Because I knew she cared.

“Dude, you looked dead during the whole trip. What’s crawled up your ass now? Why are you grinning like that?” Laksh asked me, giving me the most weird look, as we had reached Mumbai.

“No. It’s nothing.” I said, wiping the stupid grin off my face.

“Oh my God…listen, lover boy. First of all, stop grinning like that. You look dumb, and secondly, don’t be so excited to meet Swara. She hasn’t yet got over what happened.” He said. I just rolled my eyes. I knew that she was angry. But how long can that anger last? A couple of days more? Okay, a week?

“She can’t stay angry for that long.” I stated, as we picked up our luggage and went our own ways.

That feeling when you crash into your own bed after three long weeks! Oh how I missed that! Honestly, I was too tires to do anything. I just wanted to sleep on the bed for hours, but I couldn’t even sleep without doing the most important thing — talking to Swara. At the moment, that was on the top of my priority list.

I was probably getting my hopes high, thinking that she would actually answer my call, but to my surprise she didn’t…. No doubt, she had still not forgiven me.

So instead of calling back, I decided to leave her a voice mail…

“Hey, hi um…it’s me. Look I know you probably don’t even want even talk to him, but I just have to talk to you. It’s kinda bugging me all the time, that you haven’t called or whatever… I don’t even expect you to after what I did. But I just wanted to say I’m really sorry for not being there for you, and I mean it. What else can I say? I guess… call me back, when you get this, okay? I’ll be waiting. Bye.”

I closed my eyes, and soon, drifted off to sleep…

Swara’s pov ~~

Its him…. I looked at the screen as Sanskar’s name popped up on it.

‘Pick up…answer.’ Said my heart.

‘Dont pick up. Let it ring.’ Said my mind.

I was torn between these two options. As much as I hated to keep him waiting, I also didn’t want to talk to him. It had been almost three weeks and I knew, he was back. But I guess, I just didn’t want to face him….yet.

Soon, the phone started ringing. I was a bit relieved, but then, another notification popped up on the screen.

‘You have a voicemail…’ It said.

Oh great. . .

I knew it was him. I wasn’t ready to talk to him yet, but was I ready to even listen his voice? I guess I was not, but I was dying to listen to him. . .once. . .

And so, I opened the voicemail . . .

“Hey, hi um…it’s me. Look I know you probably don’t even want even talk to him, but I just have to talk to you. It’s kinda bugging me all the time, that you haven’t called or whatever… I dont even expect you to after what I did. But I just wanted to say I’m really sorry for not being there for you, and I mean it. What else can I say? I guess… call me back, when you get this, okay? I’ll be waiting. Bye.”

I heard it. I heard everything he said im the voicemail, and that only brought back tears into my eyes. I missed him too much, and listening to his voice after three weeks made it only worse.

I had successfully managed myself to be happy…or at least I tried to be. I started hanging out with Ishaan a lot. He made me happy, and to be honest, I kinda started liking him too…but nothing more than a ‘friend.’

“Don’t cry. Don’t feel. Be strong.” I said to myself, and wiped off the little tears from my face. His absence didn’t matter to me in these three weeks, so his presence should not matter to me too. . .

I wanted to make a final decision. I wanted to end or once and for all. I decided to call him. . .

“Hey.” He spoke from the other end of the line, and I could picture him smiling right then.

Be strong. Say it. Put an end to this. . .

“We need to talk. Now.” I said coldly.

“Yes, we do. Go on, what is it?” He asked.

“Not like this. Can we meet up somewhere?”

“Alright. I’ll pick you up in the evening.” He said. I wanted to say okay, but I didn’t do so. I didnt want him to think that I’m still weak and dependent on him.

“No thanks. I can come on my own. Meet me at Starbucks, 6:30, bye.” I said and hung up immediately.

‘That went well.’ I thought and hoped it would go the same way in the evening. I sighed and rested my head on the headrest, and took a look at the small box lying on the nightstand.

I grabbed it, and pulled out a cigarette. Lighting it up, I felt so good and relaxed. . .like there was no worries in my life. No problems. . .just a happy and good life.

But what’s the point anyway? The feeling lasted as long as the cigarette did, and I was dragged back to reality. . .

Third person’s pov ~~

Arriving a little early, he waited for her outside the cafe. All he did, was to pray, that everything would go well. He just wanted to make her realize how sorry he was for what he did.

Swara had arrived. She parked her car nearby,and got out. Sanskar’s eyes almost popped out of their eye sockets as soon as he saw her.

White shorts, black crop top, high heels and a cigarette in hand – she looked like a total spoilt brat from high school. He had no clue about what all stuff he had missed while he was away.

She snapped his fingers in front of him, dragging him back to reality.

“Earth to, Sanskar?” She asked.

“Huh? Oh uh… I am really sorry.” He mumbled eying her top to bottom. She smirked and crushed the cigarette under her heel.

“What happened to you? Did you get sick or something?” He asked.

“Nah. Just living life. C’mon…” She said grabbing him by arm and leading him inside.

They sat at a table in a corner, sipping on their coffees. None of them had said anything, even though they had so much to talk about. . .

Finally, Swara cleared her throat
“So…” She trailed off and then stopped.

“So…what?” He asked.

“I guess we need to talk.” She concluded. Sanskar nodded and looked at her for a moment, trying to figure her out. She seemed to be extremely cool about the whole situation, like she had nothing to do with him leaving.

“Yes, we do.” He replied, followed by a long pause.

“I’m sorry. That’s all I wanted to say to you. I know I should’ve told you about the trip in advance, but I didnt. I’m really sorry for that. . .” He added.

“Oh that’s okay! You just leave one day all of a sudden, don’t even care to call for weeks and then show up again, saying you’re sorry….ain’t that completely normal?” She said.

He sighed.

“No, its not. I guess I should’ve called, believe me, I wanted to. But I thought you were not going to pick up, so I guessed it was better to meet you and talk about everything.” He said.

“Oh. So you’re saying that its my fault that I didn’t answer your calls.”

As soon as she said that, his head snapped up. When did he meant it that way?

“I didn’t mean that.” He quickly added. She shook her head and laid back on the chair.

After a few moments of silence, even when Sanskar didn’t have anything to say, she pulled out her pack of cigarettes and lit one. He kept on looking at her in amusement and confusion.

“Since when did you start smoking? You know it’s bad, right?” He asked.

“It’s not bad. You wanna try?” She asked offering him one. He sighed and refused. Just as he was about to say something, the lady behind the counter approached them.

“I’m sorry ma’am. But smoking is not allowed in here.” She said, being extra sugary.

“Who are you to tell me what’s allowed and what’s not?” Swara snapped.

“I’m sorry ma’am. Those are the rules. You can go out and smoke there, please.” She said and that was enough to piss off Swara.

“Don’t you dare to tell me what to do. Mind your own f**king business.” She said, rising up from seat. The girl, was quite disturbed by whatever going on.

“Swara, what are you doing?” Sanskar asked, not trying to create a scene im front of people, but thankfully there were hardly any customers.

“Listen to me, you poor girl. This is a free country, alright? I can do whatever I want. You are nobody to stop me.” Swara snapped. This surely wasn’t going to have a good ending.

Realizing this, Sanskar had to stop Swara before she could do something stupid.

“Swara, don’t. Let’s go.” He said grabbing her arm, pulling her with him.

“I’m sorry.” He added before leaving the money on the counter and heading out with a frustrated Swara.

As much as he was worried about her, he was always shocked to see this side of hers.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He asked, trying to be as calm as possible, once they were outside.

“What? What the hell is wrong with me? You are blaming me for all this?” She asked.

“Ofcourse I am. You were breaking the rules, which is wrong.”

“Oh shut it. Don’t talk me about breaking rules and shit. I do it everyday, and I have been doing it everyday since you’ve been gone. So I’m not responsible for it, you are.” She said.

He seemed really confused now. But somewhere he knew, what she meant.

“What are you talking about?” He asked anyway.

“You know exactly what I am talking about, you heartless promise-breaking friend!” She snapped.

“I started smoking since the day you’ve gone. I started being so rude to everyone since the day you’ve gone. I started treating people like crap since the day you’ve gone. . .you know why? Because it makes me feel good. I feel good when I have someone to put my anger on. So don’t even try to pretend that you don’t know what I’m talking about…” She said.

She was almost on verge of crying, but this time, she didn’t let her tears fall down. She hid them, while giving him an angry stare.

“I…I dont even know what to say. . I swear if I had any idea that this was going to happen, I would’ve –” He said, but she cut him off.

“You would have stayed? No…not even then.” She said, followed by a long pause.

“You’re right. I wouldn’t have stayed or I should say that, I couldn’t have stayed. I mean, nothing was in my hands. Even I didn’t want to leave you, but I had to. . .” He said.

“Right… I understand…” She said, almost in a whisper. His face immediately lit up, as he was starting to hope for everything to get back to normal.

“You do? Now you know…there’s nothing that can compare to you. You’ve always been the most important part of my life…” He said, taking her hand in his, while she looked down at the ground.

“Sanskar, can I say you something?” She asked with a blank look on her face.

“Anything. Just don’t say you haven’t forgiven me.” He said.

She took a deep breath, and looked at him straight in the eye.

“I don’t want to leave you…but I have to…” She spoke.

“What?” He asked, confusion written all over his face.

“I’m sorry I can’t be with you.” She said.

“Why?” He asked.

“Because… I slept with Ishaan…”

Next update : Confessions and Consequences.

**

Will you buy whatever Swara just confessed? I guess, I’m not ending this..like very soon. So you all have to bear this ff and Swasan separation a tad longer. But I hope you all have a good time reading it 🙂
Love you all !

Anu <3