The confession, NeSam FF [chapter 4]

Sam’s pov

Memories we mad always bring bright smile in face… Remember in the chilling night of Hrishikesh… how we were fooling around. We drank up to our thought. You couldn’t even walk properly. With every nonsense you were speaking, you were giggling like mad. …haha… talking about packing Chasni in hand luggage and bringing her to Mumbai. Silly you.
I was upset. And you came to Hrishikesh only for me. I said that I don’t wanna go back to Mumbai. And like always you replied “jaha samunder singh woha uske idiot.”
“jaha samunder singh woha uske idiot.”
Idiot
Where are you
Your samunder singh craves you.
But
Whom am I kidding?

“If you take step forward once then your idiot will go away forever.”
“He has to go, Neil. For us he has to go. Our friendship became over prime enemy. If I have to take this step then i have to break our friendship.”

Stupid, of course he won’t wait for his samunder singh after that
but please Neil! You stay for your Sammy.
Normal pov
Neil got on his bus. All the other passengers were putting their belongings in the bunk of the bus. He did the same and sat on a sit beside the window. Lost in thought.
Neil’s pov
Never thought that I would take this step. I don’t know if it will be right or wrong. Just know I can’t stay here. If I stay here I will die from heartache and I don’t want to die so soon. Because I want to see you grow old. From afar but still want to see you to be old with experiences. Want to see you play with your 10 children. And grandchildren but from distance afar.
For now I have to go.

I can’t breathe here. There is a lump in my thought which is too stubborn. It just don’t have any intention to go away. I feel like I will die from thirst. My throat is burning. It’s not going from drinking water. I feel like someone put a belt on my chest, too tight and put shackle on my feet. The only cure to this is to leave for now.
Wish I could somehow pack mom in my language and bring her with me. But I can’t. My destination is too uncertain. No actually I have no destination. Can’t give her pain with me in this uncertain journey. Left her home alone. Hope you will look after her.
I feel so alone
Samunder Singh
Wish you were here by my side but its ok, I will get used to it.
I will figure some way to leave without you in my life
I know
I will never make anything in my life by without you
I will never be the same without you
I will be lost
You know
As many times as I blink
I’ll think of you

“coffee”
What coffee? I looked out to see a boys is trying to sell coffee to me
“coffee” he asked again
Ahh coffee. I love it. You knew it so well. I never said it loud but you always used to bring coffee for me when I needed it.
I nodded in negative to the boy and he left.
Today I am not feeling to have one.
May be some other time I will have coffee again.
Maybe somewhere under the open sky
I’ll watch the night turn light blue and a sky full of star for there as well and will remember our nights together on roof, chilling with hot coffee
But it will not be the same without you there.
shit I cant take it anymore.
I need coffee right now
I turn around to see the retreating back of the hawker.
As I was about to about to call him I saw her.

Sam ran like mad girl in between the buses in the bus stand while looking through the windows for her idiot.
“Neil… Neil… idiot” she cried.
From afar Neil saw her search. He had a feeling that he turned sadist all of a sudden. He was watching her suffering, crying yet he was not moving from his place. At a time he thought to leave this sadistic side and yell at his samunder that her idiot is still here but another side of him said to not do this. Just to relief her pain he can’t live being in pain again.
He saw Sam coming toward him. In the moment panic Neil pulled the lever under the seat. The moment Sam reached just in front of his window the seat slide backward hiding Neil from the view of window in the process.
Thump…thump…thump… Neil could hear his own heartbeat. He knew the dhak-dhak will go away when Sam will move from the window. But for some unknown reason she stood looking right though that window for longer time. After it felt like hours she moved from there to keep searching frantically when the bus conductor shouted the bus will be leaving. And Neil left a sigh of relief and again erect his seat

. Sam move from there with a heavy heart to search in another bus. Neil heard the sound of engine getting started and the bus finally started to move. Neil looked out of the window to see sam still searching him. He kept looking at her till he could.
Meharbaani jaate-jaate mujhpe kar gaya
Guzarta saa lamha ek daaman bhar gaya
Tera nazaara mila, roshan sitaara mila
Taqdeer ki kashtiyon ko kinara mila

Neil’s pov

Still now I was living for you, breathing for you
Now
You’re the only one in this world I would die without
You are the best thing, that’s ever been mine
And I’ll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won’t forget you

Sam’s pov

Why are you doing this? I know you are here, so why are you not coming in front of me?
I know
You are giving me punishment
You’re tired from all those long hard week.
I know
You’re sitting in your chair by the window looking at me
Watching my distress
I know I deserve this but I can’t take it anymore.
Don’t you understand?
If you were gone
For even a day I wouldn’t know which way to turn
Cause I’m lost without you.
And now
I am broken.
Fix me.

Normal pov

Sam didn’t stop searching for Neil. She was rubbing her tears of frustration angrily. She was fed up of these tear that she had no control.
“are you crying?” a voice asked.
Sam turn towards him sharply but her face fell when she saw it is not whom she was expecting.
“What is to you?” Sam was irritated.
“umm.. nothing just showing some concern” the man said.
“You don’t need to” Sam smacked.
“ou… do you always behave like that to someone who shows you concern “he asked.
“Damn it don’t irritate me. Mind your own business. I don’t want concern from you.” Sam was really irritated then.
“he is gone right?” he asked her on a serious note out of blue.
“what?” she was out of words.
“the person whom you want to show you his concern.” The man smiled.
Sam looked away and again the dam of tears broke.
“that idiot he …he didn’t wait..” tear broke her voice. She couldn’t voice anything out.
“idoit huh… nice name” the man smirked.
“Neil. His name is Neil. Very very rarely he used to complain to call him by idiot instead of his name.” She smiled.
“Neil huh… that’s a nice name t… ou…neil, I just met someone named by neil. He was stalking my wife.” The man said with realisation.
“what?” sam asked.
“No… I mean he went in the same bus as my wife. Wanna catch him. The bus just left”
“Yes… I… thank you… thank you so much.” Sam was again out of words.

Kuch toh hai tujh se raabta
Kuch toh hai tujh se raabta
Kaise hum jaane, hume kya pata
Kuch toh hai tujh se raabta
Tu humsafar hai
Phir kya fikar hai
Jeene ki wajah hi yehi hai
Marna issi ke liye

“You know what? if you drive like this we can never catch that bus” sam complained.
“Madam this is just a small scooty not your boyfriend’s r15.” The man said sarcastically.
“wait, how do you know idiot has r15?” sam asked.
“and you have no brain…!” the man exclaim.
“you are brainless and… and speed less!!!!!” sam shouted “move let me drive.”
“no.. its my bike I am driving.” The man said.
“move and let me drive or I am going to say your wife you were flirting with me.”
“that’s a lie!”
“who said I am a goddess of truth?”
sam won and the man loosed the battle. They exchanged their seat.
“What’s your name again?” sam asked.
“Santanu Bose” the man said.
“ok Santanu babu learn how to drive” with a pickup and gear change sam drove the small bike as a mad horse.
Neil was trying to think about something else but he was feeling like his own mind is also playing with him. Every other thing he was trying to think was ending on sam. All of a sudden the bus apply break and the tire skied to make an uncomfortable sound. The passenger who were standing misbalanced. He heard a pained grasped from the seat behind him. He turned around to find a heavily pregnant lady holding her stomach. He concluded her as Aindrila, that cheeky man Santanu’s wife.
“are you alright” Neil asked her out of concern.
“yes I am fine, just my baby thought it was fun to kick me.” She smiled.
Neil smiled back. “your husba…” his words dried out in his mouth when he heard a familiar voice shouting
“Neil… NEIL…IDIOT, damn it. Get your ass down her. This stupid conductor is not letting me in. and don’t dare to hide now. I know you are hear. Santanu said me you boarded this very bus.”

Neil’s sweat dropped animatedly
“Santanu?” Aindrila raised an eyebrow.
“yeah your husband…”neil said in awkward face
Again Sam started shouting. “What the hell SantanU … Leave the bike alone it will not die. Help me out here to move this stupid conductor… move I need to see Neil.”
Neil’s sweat dropped animatedly again.
“Santanu is here?” Aindrila stood up from her seat, desperately looked out the window and then limped through the rows of the seats to reach the door.
“ma’am where are you going, its not safe for you.” Neil followed her. And both of them got down the bus. Neil faced her unwillingly.
“idiot…” Sam whispered and naturally her eyes filled up with tears.
“Sam … I …” He looked in different direction.
“what I …huh? Idiot… that’s a great stunt you pull. You wanted to leave this town huh? I will break your legs and will give it in your hand.”
All winced hearing her words ” idiot brother, you manage your lady or else this lady will book a ticket of heaven for you like she already did to my bike.” Santanu said meekly. “well my little scooty is of no use now so you give me your ticket so that I can leave my wife safely.” He smile “and yeah, I gave your lady my address, please sent my poor little bike to my house after repairing it.”
The bus left leaving the two soul on road along with fallen bike.
Neil went to pick up the bike “you really damaged this bike?” he asked by rising his eyebrow.
“no… no … its alright… Um yes a little damage but not anything big.” said sam.
Neil sighed “you never do anything right, right?” he asked slowly and looked down.
“yes” said sam. “still now I just messed everything up. But now… now I will do..” sam trailed off.
“do?” Neil whispered
“Right. Everything right.” She took steps forward. And Neil backed a little. Fearing another heart break.

Neil’s pov

Feeling the dj-vu
The silence is so nostalgic
And this nostalgia chilled me to the bone
until I look at my hands
You held my fingers
And the spaces between my fingers
are right where yours fit perfectly.

normal pov

Sam held Neil’s hand and snaked her finger between his digits. And pulled slightly towards her. She tip toed and peaked on his lips. Neil’s was taken with shock and he stiffen.

Sam’s pov

What?
Why stiffen?
Love me like you do,
Touch me like you do,
What are you waiting for?
Cause I need you need now
All I need is you and I

Normal pov

Sam wrapped her hand around his shoulder. Neil is exactly not very tall from her but still she think it will give her better access mostly because Neil was basically standing like a pillar.
She again touched his lips softly and then lightly sucked on the lower lips. She could feel Neil was more loosen up then and also responding the kiss back lightly. He also kissed back. Sam bite his lower lip lightly which Neil conclude as a silent permission and he gave it. He opened his mouth slightly to give her access. She entered his mouth and ravaged all nook and cranny of his mouth. Neil could already see who the wild one in their little relationship is.
Moans of pleasure filled their ears along with thumps of heart beat. They didn’t realise when their soft simple kiss became more sensuous and passionate. Neil thought that all of a sudden his blood running wildly through his veins. They didn’t know they could hold their breath for so long. It was going so good that they wanted to continue it through entity but they were out of breath and unwillingly had to stop and break free. When they apart a string of saliva lingered.
“um… do I need to say anything else or are you that kind of sadist bas***d who will enjoys hearing the embarrassing thing spoken by me” Sam pouted and Neil’s sweat drop.
“So.. saying I love you is embarrassing yet kiss in middle of road is not?” Neil asked raising his hand on air and Sam blushed.
“well… ok … when you will think it’s not something embarrassing then you can say it to me. By the way I love you.” Neil said and picked the long forgotten bike up and heard a small almost inaudible voice …”love you too” and he smile.
“and you know what I think Santanu left the bike so that we can go home not by walking… And I am driving. Sit back” Neil said.

-end-