SWASAN – Acceptance (26)

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Part 25

As promised, lenghty update friends and raglak lovers be ready for double update. Guys pay close attention because we are close to climax and it hardly takes six episodes. I had replied to everyone in my previous episode and my apologies for not commenting on any fiction but I am reading. It’s just that I am very late.

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Swara is pacing in sanskar’s room, waiting for his arrival. Her curiosity increased thousand times after his nod at morning but he did abruptly leave for office and it is nearly 1:30am now.
Swara ran into corridor when she heard ramu kaka opening the main door. There she saw sanskar totally tired but his eyes are bright as always and also brave. What surprised her is seeing laksh behind sanskar with a file in his hands. He didn’t go to office for a while after the incident.

Sanskar casually opened the door of his room thinking to relax and forget the day which he had by a good sleep but stopped for a while seeing swara. Of course that was expected one for him.Her curious eyes did say him that she would surely won’t leave her until she gets what she wants.
Sanskar walked past swara to his closet ignoring her. He then went to washroom after collecting some night wear.

“Will you say me?” Swara snapped once he is out of washroom. He locked his eyes with her for a minute and then sat on his bed after drinking water.
” why are you not saying it to me?” She requested him this time.
“Because I don’t want to” he said quietly. It stabbed her heart. She felt rejected.
“Sorry” she mumbled with heavy heart before turning to the entrance. Sanskar closed his eyes for a second and then held her wrist.
” what do you want to know?” His same deep voice made her face him “that why I hate her”
Swara nodded. Sanskar patted the cot beside him gesturing her to sit and she obeyed him.
” just after a week of your parents demise,-”
” murder” swara cut him and he took a deep breath.
“okay murder, I did had a very bad dream in which laksh and I were left in a dark place and the only woman whom I know is trying to reach us but she did disappear suddenly” he exhaled heavily. Swara started him.
” Mrs. Annapurna MAHESWARI” he mouthed, every emotion did speak that word but mostly, it sounded like he worshiped it and ofcoruse he did.
” the most beautiful woman I have ever seen swara. Her smile, her heart, her kindness, her love everything are so pure” he shook his head still looking in the emptiness of the room “were, were so pure. I haven’t….haven’t seen my mother. She died the moment I opened my eyes but my ma, this woman did show me what a mother is.”
Tears, swara once again saw tears in his eyes and it started bothering her. She cuddled towards him and he smiled faintly.
“Ours was a good family swara. I have never seen my father so strong but bade papa mentioned me many a times that he turned soft after my mother’s death, after all she was my dad’s backbone ” he chuckled at his words before continuing ” I ran downstairs to ma’s room when I woke up from my nightmare. There was no pooja plate that usually used to be in mandir, I reached kitchen hoping that she was preparing our favorite paneer curry, but she wasn’t. I went to garden to check if she was watering the plants along with kamala bai that we three, I mean laksh, ma and I planted a few weeks ago but…” He trailed off as his voice started becoming horase and his eyes turned more darker.
” I ran to their bedroom hoping that she was with badepapa, helping him in his work but do you know what I saw there? ” the pain is evident in his voice. Swara did realise that he is staring at her when she didn’t listen his voice continue the story.
His honey brown eyes held some much of pain but still they are bright, curious and sharp as always. She simply shook her head. Sanskar snickered and placed his fingers with hers.
” bade papa, I have never seen him that way before. He was sitting on the chair of his study table with a paper in his hand. The eyes which were always sharp were blunt, his smile was replaced by something…painful. He looked so unlike him. Papa was beside him saying some soothing words. I walked two steps towards them but laksh hopped on to me from nowhere with a football in his tiny hands” sanskar explained. The moments of that day are still locked inside his heart.
Swara kept staring him trying to read his pain.

“Papa immediately got alarmed and sent us out of the room along with kamala bai whom I haven’t seen before in that room. I was so confused swara, so confused. I wanted to curl up into a ball and hide myself because my badepapa was in a state in which he was never before. The house is in some state which it wasn’t before..it looked so lifeless and fear started engulfing me. Tears came to my eyes. I wanted my ma to be myside, coo and soothe me the same way she did always but no, she wasn’t there for me”
” I waited the whole day for my mother to come into our room, hug me and laksh and say that everything was alright but kamala bai did come that night with our dinner plates. Laksh asked her about his mother, our mother” he shut his eyes in pain and squeezed swara’s hands and now, she is able to feel his pain. Her memories started coming to her.
” but she didn’t answer. I haven’t seen papa or bade papa that day. Laksh was crying all the time, probably he was also missing our mother. I got curious and went to bade papa’s room. I peeped inside to see if anyone were present but no, so I just went to his desk and Stole the paper that bade papa was holding that morning. I opened it when I came to my room.”
” laksh sat beside me and we both started reading it in the light of bed lamp”
His voice choked and suddenly his nostrils flared.

“Spill it sanskar. I am here” swara asuured him drawing comfort circles on his hands
” it stated that she…” He gulped “she never wished to stay with us. She never loved us swara.” His voice is so broken that it breaking swara too.
Swara gasped and then hugged sanskar when she felt his body shiver along with his voice.
“She married badepapa just for wealth and when she finally understood that the property will never be hers, she decided to leave the place with some other, who was more wealthier than us. She even mentioned that she never loved us swara. We were just a burden to her because what all she focoussed was wealth. She said that she would never return to our lives and did ask for some money as alimony”
He finished with a deep breath
“That’s all” swara asked a bit surprised. He pulled himself from hug and frowned
“I mean, why do you hate her?”
” it’s complicated. I was thirteen and laksh was ten when she left. It will be really difficult for a child to stay away from a mother at that age. Moreover, I saw my bade papa breaking down. Very badly. He did seriously love her a lot…a lot swara such that, he tried to end himself once. That was a very horrible night. I saw him being depressed, staying in study for hours together to forget her. We grew hundred times in tweleve years in business swara. you can understand his hard work”
” so, she married your bade papa just for money and when she didn’t get the one, she left you all for some wealthy person?” Swara asked him analyzing his words.
Sanskar nodded ” he betrayed me, laksh and papa in name of love. It’s the reason I hate betrayal because it did really affect us a lot. My bade papa spent many sleepless nights, laksh was bedridden for months with fever and ma was the only word he chanted, I started having severe nightmares swara. The walls of this Manison forgot to listen laugh when Kamala bai, our next mother left us” he inhaled sharply
“I don’t know anything about bade papa because he barely talked to us after that, papa was all in depression may be because of murder case and there I was left along with laksh”
” when he had severe attack of fits, bade papa appointed ramu kaka. Things started getting better and it’s when papa went into coma. Laksh was still in his fever phase. That’s another breakdown for the family. But this time, bade papa stood in place of my dad. The days starred becoming worse and we both did worst in academics. In one such day, I saw her on our way to home from school. Laksh left me and ran to her, hugging her tight but she didn’t hug him instead jerked out of his grip.

“Ma!, laksh screamed and pleaded her but her stone heart didn’t melt and she left the place with a person who came there with lavish car” sanskar closed his eyes remembering the day and it’s memories.
” laksh was broken as me but mine was more swara. This time, badepapa became our strength. He said that we should stand in such a place that she must feel bad for leaving us and that’s what we are now”
Swara leaned and placed her head on his shoulder but he didn’t respond it because he is preoccupied now.
” but why is she working as a nun?” Swara asked him.
” may be he left her”
“Or, she is repenting” she completed him. Sanskar inhaled once again and stood. Swara followed him to the corridor but she blocked in his way when his intentions became clear.
” you are not going anywhere” she declared. He narrowed his eyes and walked three steps past her.
” you are not”
” why?”
Swara started him for more than a minute and he waited patiently.
” okay fine, I will also join you in getting drunk” she spatted crossing her arms.
“No!” He almost screamed “you are not doing that” he added, disapproving her idea.
“why?” She imitated him.
Sanskar closed his burning eyes for a second and when he opened, they are soft.
” come let’s go” his words startled her.
” I am not. Drinking is sin” she offered him immediately. The corners of his lips twitched.
” you wanted to come right?” He prompted.
” no way, neither I am going nor you” she declared once again. Seeing his not so pleased face, she continued ” it’s because I can’t handle your stupid hangover tomorrow.”
“Then don’t” he simply shrugged not taking his eyes from hers.
Convincing him is something which she cannot do and now, it’s getting worse.
“Fine, If you will go out, I…I…” She shut her mouth out of words.
Sanskar angled his head to left side, rasing an eyebrow.
“Will you please get in without arguing, I am really tired to convince you” she finally muttered looking down. sanskar grinned and is about to turn but stopped when swara leaned to his ear
” you better follow me mister because you really don’t know what I can do to you” she whisper yelled at him. Before she could do anything, sanskar pulled her to himself grabbing he left elbow. It resulted her hitting his muscular body.

“And that’s what?” He asked her in a very low, seductive voice by moving the strands of her hair. Swara opened her mouth but realised that action speaks better than words. She raised her lashes to see his face which had an irritating smirk.
” if you don’t obey, I will elope with avinash. He is really good at riding copter” she said with a wink.
Sanskar smiled ” what are you, five?”
She leaned to his ear “how can I be five when you are six?. I am three” she whispered leaving him numb.
“So you are not going” swara declared as well as questioned him.
” what will be I rewarded with if I obey you?” He asked raising his eyebrows.
“This one” she pinched him on his stomach before running to her room.
Sanskar smiled at her before closing the door of his room. A pair of aged eyes smiled at them.

Swara casually glanced ragini’s room when she walked to downstairs to get a water bottle. She knocked it when she observed that lights are still on.
“Come in” ragini said adjusting her cap.
” where are you going?” Swara asked ragini seeing her dressed in uniform.
Ragini sighed before grabbing her mobile “my profession girl..some bank robbery”
Swara chuckled at ragini’s situation to which she received a glare.
“Did sanskar come home?” Ragini asked once swara shut her mouth.
“Yeah, even laksh” she didn’t fail to see the change of color in ragini’s face.
“You are still mad at him?”
“Huh?”
” you are still mad at laksh”
Ragini nodded “I seriously want to irritate him a lot, but I can’t”
“You can” swara announced biting her nail.
“And that’s how?” Ragini asked placing her both hands on hips.
Swara winked before leaving the room.

As always, she is running far away from the fear, trying to chase the light of her life but all what she can see is darkness. She sat on her knees when finally she gave up. Every inch of her body is aching but that’s not what she is worried about. Suddenly, a door opened which surprised her as she thought that she was at some place which did had any entrance and exit just like no boundaries above and below her. A person walked inside wearing black clothes and a black mask. He heart is racing but she is not afraid because she has been seeing him from tweleve years. The person approached her and within a second she fell on the ground by his punch on her Right cheek. She heard him smile and once again she is not afraid because he is her death. He stamped her face with his left leg making her cry out with pain.
“What’s your last wish?” He asked her showing a sword from nowhere. The shiny surface of the sword made her close her eyes
“Tell Me” he roared and she flinched.
“Sanskar” she whispered. The person removed his leg from her cheek and moved few steps. There, she saw him, in complete white clothes, smiling at her in the same way he always does. So pure and fresh. His smile is infectious, she thought because she too started smiling but next moment, the smile on his is replaced by pain and fear. The white clothes turned to red and before she could call him, he disappeared in darkness. She turned to the person with tears in her eyes. She saw him aiming the sword to her and in the next moment…
Thud!

Swara woke up with a jolt, panting heavily. She glanced her surrounds and understood that it is one of her stupid nightmare. She turned on the bed lamp and drank the water before wiping sweat on her forehead. She then leaned on head rest massaging her temples. Every time she had a night mare, her last wish was either their parents or their murderer but not sanskar. Sanskar! She immediately got onto her feet and turned to alarm clock to check the time. It is still 4:30am. She made her way to sanskar’s room, worried about him because last time when he scolded her about mandir, he too had a night mare and today he has said everything about Annapurna and now…. She slowed her walk when she saw his door open. She peeped inside and saw laksh sitting beside sanskar with his hands in laksh’s. Occasionally laksh ran his hand in sanskar’s hair caressing it. Swara lips curved at the scene. Sanskar’s love defeated her hatred and the brothers love will surely overpower laksh’s jealousy.

Sanskar streched his body and casually turned to his right but his eyes widened seeing laksh sleeping on couch. He knew, he knew his brothers love for him. It’s just that circumstances are not good for them now. He walked to laksh and covered him with comforter. Sanskar kissed laksh’s forehead before leaving for morning excersise.

After few hours, sanskar frowned while descending steps seeing his bade papa taking with pandit. Before he reached the hall, pandit ji left. Swara reached hall following sanskar and raised her eyebrows questioning laksh but he simply shrugged. Laksh smriked when swara turned the other side.
” sanskar” durga Prasad called him and everyone turned to him.
” pandit ji said that day after tomorrow will be best day for engagement ”
” whose?” Sanskar asked confused same as swara.
” mine and swara” laksh answered him with a fake smile. Swara opened her mouth wide and shut again in anger. Durga Prasad gave a disapproving look to laksh to which he shrugged.
“Your’s and swara” durga Prasad informed sanskar with a smile on his face
Swara turned to sanskar just to realise that he is simply shocked as her. Durga Prasad patted sanskar’s shoulder before leaving.
“So” laksh said forwarding his hand to swara “congratulations bhabhi”. Swara gave him a thight smile because everything that’s happening is so soon.

” so?” Ragini prompted swara once she came from duty.
“Come with me” swara dragged ragini to parking area backside the Manison.
They both stood before laksh’s car.
” men can tolerate anything but not when something happens to their car-”
“- because” ragini continued swara ” they are their ”
” babies” both of them said sarcastically before giggling
” but what shall we use to decorate this?” Swara asked biting her nails. Ragini turned to swara and suddenly an idea flashed. She nudged swara and both of them smriked evily.
Swara and ragini ran from the place and hid themselves behind a shrub when they heard laksh whistling.

Laksh approached his car playing with his keys but his jaw touched ground at the scene infront of him. His black color car is totally decorated, frankly speaking is destroyed by some stupid lady designs in different colors and also some mud on it. He dramatically dropped his keys and ran to his car.
“Who did this to you?” He screamed while kissing the car.
“Yewww” swara scrunched her nose at laksh’s gestures. Ragini giggled.
Laksh made a round of his car and it’s just not like his car. His face witnessed his worry and pain. He leaned on car bonnet and sniffed the design and that smelled very familiar, probably lipstick and nail polish.

Swara started laughing at laksh’s expressions
” shh” ragini closed swara’s mouth still giggling.
” oh my baby” laksh fell on the car hood stretching his hands on it “who did this to you? I will kill them” he spatted.
That’s it, ragini laughed aloud making swara laugh too. Laksh turned to source of noise and fumed with anger.
“You two” he raised his finger at them “come out…now” he ordered.
Swara and ragini came out of the shrub trying hard to surpress their laughter.
” will anyone address car as baby?” Ragini asked him in between her laughter.
” no ragini..did you hear. He did talk to car as if it’s going to answer. ‘Who did this to you'” she mimicked him and both of them bursted out laughing.
Laksh raised his eyebrow at them, crossing his arms and tapping his foot.
” you both are going to clean it. I want to see my reflection in it.” He ordered to which ragini glared. She went to the garden and came back with a bucket of water. He relaxed visibly and kept his eyes on her. She smiled at him sweetly before throwing the bucket full on water on his car
” what the hell” He roared at ragini who is laughing again.
” sorry laksh but the ones which used to paint your car are not smudge free” ragini said him seriously, batting her eyelashes. Swara raised her laughter and clutched her stomach which started aching.
” what’s happening? ” sanskar’s voice made them to turn to him.
Sanskar opened his mouth wide looking laksh’s car and then to swara and ragini.
” you must have not done this” he said quietly.
” and you will pay for that” laksh spatted and turned to his car but stopped seeing the smudged drawing of Mickey mouse. He then glared the ladies.
” leave it laksh.”
” what?” Laksh yelled ” I need to go out and are you expecting me to flaunt their master piece?”
Sanskar sighed ” take mine”
” I don’t need yours” he murmured before calling someone.

Swara frowned at sanskar who just entered the hall
” what’s special ?” Swara chirped because he is early to home today.
” planning to please my fiance” he answered her sarcastically placing his blazer on arm of the sofa chair.
She blushed to the color of her dress.
” I am serious swara. Get ready, we will go out for a dinner” he announced and went upstairs to get fresh.
After nearly twenty minutes, they are in the busy streets of Kolkata and then on highway.
” where are we going?” Swara asked curious.
” oh! There is a small town near.”
Swara remained silent.

“How was that?” Sanskar asked swara on their way to home.
” it would have been more better if you wouldn’t have shown chivalry ” she sarcastically replied but deep down, both of them knew that she enjoyed it.
” you won’t allow anyone to ride your car. Do you?” Swara asked him after few minutes.
” no man will do that. Seriously we consider them as second life”
Swara rolled her eyes before murmuring “babies”
” you must have not seriously not done that swara. I mean about laksh’s car” sanskar genuinely felt bad for that.
Swara chuckled “vansh too never allowed me touch his car”
He gave her a smile before shifting his gaze to road. Swara leaned to window but soon pulled her jacket close to her body
“Untimely rains” she cursed before closing eyes. Sanskar stopped the car at desserted place on highway.He then opened the door on swara’s side forwarding his hand
“Come”
” what?” Swara asked him but then realised his intentions. She thought for a while before stepping out. The cool rain drops that touched her body irritated her. They both started walking.
” so you don’t like rains” sanskar asked lacing his fingers with her.
Swara raised her head to look at sky and then sighed ” I don’t know. For me, rain is always unexpressed sorrow. It always pours when I am in difficulties”
” but it’s not the same for me swara.” She turned to him “when badepap made his first deal and was successful, it rained that day. Rain is success”
She simply smiled at him but few thoughts are consuming her.
” why don’t you forgive your ….um…mother as you did for me and laksh?” She asked caustiosly studying his face.
He sighed deeply “what if I ask the same to you?”
“Huh?”
” about your grandfather”
Swara felt like he literally slapped her with his answer and she kept quiet.
“the only woman whom I loved the most just left us not even thinking for once and you are asking me to forgive her?” His voice had that hatred which she has for Dean dayal.
” but..but you did forgive the one who tried to kill you sanskar. Take me as example, you forgive me even after betraying you in the name of love.”
” do you now?” He asked raising his eyebrows
” and also laksh, he betrayed you in brothers love” she completely ignored his words.
” I don’t understand why are you so desperate to make me forgive her swara. Look I always tolerate anyone who will be good with me in their second chance and I think, she lost her chance when she left both of us at school.”
Swara gulped and gave him a fake smile
” it’s because you still love her sanskar.” She answered his question. The rain is still pouring
” unlike me, you love her.”
Sanskar shook his head “drop this. And may be I used to love her swara but now, hate is the emotion I have for her”
Swara nodded “but it’s paining me to see you like this. I think you have experienced pain more in your life apart from all other emotions”
Sanskar turned to her and their eyes locked. Many messages transformed between them.
” there won’t be any spice if it is not this way” sanskar said still not breaking their eyelock.
“Huh?”
” life”
Swara scowled and crossed her arms ” you know what, you should stop reading philosophies.. It’s overflowing now”
” but that really helped me to be the person for whom you fell for ” he added with a wink.
She couldn’t help but smile and once again intertwined their fingers. Both of them started shivering because of cold and luckily, the intensity of rain decreased. Both of them turned to each and smile before tightining their grip on each other’s fingers. The next moment, they jumped at once into the water that stagnated at one corner on road. They laughed when cold, muddy water splashed their faces.
” that was funny” swara said once they started going to their car.
” oh! How was swara gadodia as a child?” He asked curiously.
” hmm…I was the Apple of my house so noone dared to scold me except my mom. So I did seriously take revenge on her along with grandfather” she giggled at some memory.
” naughty in one word then” he said.
” I am still naughty. I did once break vansh’s car” she bursted out into fits of laughter. He joined her
” so what about you?” She asked him once they reached the car.
Sanskar shrugged and both of them sat in the car
” you can’t even imagine how naughty we brothers were” he informed igniting the engine
“Oh! Any memory to share?”
” yeah. I was in fourth standard and laksh was in first. One of his classmates teased him for some reason and we both ….” He started laughing . swara frowned at him.
” we both cut her hair at lunch break ” he laughed again till his nose turned pink.
” even I used to do this type of things with my dida and Nana”
” have you seen them after…um..your parents demise?” Sanskar asked her hesitatingly. She nodded in no “I miss them”

“Bye” swara said to sanskar cutting the awkward silence when they reached her room.
” good night” he whispered before sighing.
Swara placed her hand on door knob but someone called her from behind.
” will you sleep with me tonight?” Ragini asked swara with fear in her voice.
” why?”
” laksh had seriously warned me to punish us..mainly me for destroying his car” she said wiggling her eyebrows.
Swara opened her mouth when realisation hit her about their act.
” I am asking you to come to my room because it is far away from these brothers unlike yours” ragini informed with urgency.
” okay fine. I will come after changing. ” swara said pointing her wet clothes.
After few minutes, both of them went to ragini’s room.
Laksh smriked behind them, evily.