Hello, Ishqies….. you didn’t like pridev ff @ all?????….. Please guys….comment on it whether you like it or not…..And guys am presenting 6th part of the ff and guys am still having some health issues……but its ok as I will be alright within few days…..And guys…..please put your views on this part…..I know it’s short as am not getting time to make it longer……But guys need your opinions on my ff…..
Scene-8 [Continuation from part-5]
{Every one are shocked to see Tej with that statement}
Dadi :Tej, what are you saying?
Tej : Maa, am sayig fact….this dev….you don’t know nothing about him….though he is the son of chabra, he is not his actual son and I think he has planned to trap oberois…
Jhanvi : What ? I didn’t get you……
Tej : Jhanvi….chabras and our families always maintained a relationship…..And I know chabra very well as he is my childhood friend…. Mr. Chabra accepted dev only after geetha’s death…..why he did it too late ?
Dadi : Time changes every one and may be chabra felt to rectify his mistakes…..
Tej : But I don’t think so…..I think he just pretends to be good…..
Dadi : Tej……But he is a nice guy…he dropped our prinku….
Tej : Yeah….I know and just now I saw his car outside our home while I was entering into the gate…..And prinku……where is she ?
Prinku : Am here paapa…..{prinku comes closer to Tej and stares him with tension}
Tej : Prinku…..so you come with dev…..
Prinku : Yeah paapa….but trust me dev is a nice person…..And he don’t have any intention to hurt our family….actually he want to help shivaay bhaiya…..
Pinky : Oh My Maata!!! What are you saying ? Any troubles for shivaay ?
Prinku : Choti maa…..Actually dev said me that
raanas have planned to trap bhaiya @ his next business contract….
Tej : Trap ? But how ?
Prinku : Even dev don’t know about it…..actually dev got information from his sources…..I mean before his mom’s death was working under raanas and when he came to know that they are using dev against his dad he resigned the job….
Tej : So…now it’s clear….but still I can’t trust dev… Any way let see what happens…..By the way where is shivaay, omkara and rudra ?
Pinky : Oh My Maata!! Jethji, Shivaay got angers and he went to his room….I think omkara will be convincing shivaay….and rudra??…..prinku do you knows ?
Prinku : No idea, choti maa…..
Jhanvi : Tej….I think you have to discuss the matter with Mr. Chabra and Dev…..
Tej : Of Course Jhanvi….As soon as Sakthi will arrive we will go and meet Chabras…..
Dadi : That will be right…..
{Everyone leaves the hall and prinku gets tensed….She was worried for dev….}
Scene – 9 [@ chabra nivas]
{Dev was thinking about prinku….. He recollected the words of prinku which made a smile on his face….But the smile didn’t lasted as he get the phone call….@ Phone some one asked him “Have you done it ? “ and dev replied “yes” with tension and he cuts the call…..Dev got much tensed and he was feeling thirsty….He placed his hand on the mug to drink water….But some one touched his hand and it was none other than Rihaan…..}
Rihaan : Bhaiya…you looks so tired…..How was your day ?
Dev : Yeah….it was good….
Rihaan : Bhaiya…..any problem ? Paapa said anything ?
Dev : No rihaan…..Am ok….
Rihaan : Sure ?
Dev : Yeah{dev smiles}
Rihaan : Bhaiya….am fed up with rudy…..
Dev : Rudy !!!
Rihaan : Rudra….he is just crazy….and didn’t leave any girls…..i think he should have named as romeo not rudra……he is mad…..{laughs}
Dev : Rihaan…..actually I have to make an urgent call….So we will talk later…..
Rihaan : Ok bhaiya…{rihaan leaves}
Scene- 10 [@ Oberoi Mansion]
{Its morning and Shivaay, Sakthi and Tej are @ Tej’s room.}
Shivaay : Bade paapa….even I feel dev is not right
Sakthi : Shivaay…but as dev said if raanas are planned anything against us and dev really want to help as raanas are business rivalries of both oberois and chabras….
Tej : Shivaay….sakthi is absolutely right…..And to confirm things I think we should go and meet them…..
Shivaay : Ok….Not a big deal……
Sakthi : Bhai saab…then lets go…..
Tej : Yeah….{They leaves and prinku stares them and prays for dev}
Scene- 11 [@ chabra nivas]
{Shivaay, Sakthi and Tej arrives there and chabra family greet them with warm welcome}
Mr. Chabra : So, Tej…..how are you ?
Tej : Fine….and without wasting time I will straightly reveal the matter…..
Mr. Chabra : I didn’t get you…Tej….
Sakthi : We want to meet dev…..
Mr. Chabra : Dev….but what’s the matter ?
Shivaay : Mr. Chabra….its an emergency…please….
Rihaan : But dev bhaiya is not here….
Mr. Chabra : What are you saying ?
Rihaan : I swear paapa he is not in his room…..i tried his mobile…..but lines are busy……
Chaya: Relax…rihan…dev told me that he has an urgent work….he will come….
{ All of a sudden Mr. Chabra gets a phone call @ his mobile and he screams “ dev…..beta….” every one are shocked…..}
I will not give precap as am not getting your views and comments…..
9 Comments
Hi Renima di…it’s an amazing ff di…I can’t able to comment for your previous episodes as I’ve got busy with my model xams…but I read all the parts and it was nice….actually more than pridev I really loved priveer pairing…but it’s ok that you started it with pridev n its nice…you brought the story line well…I loved it personally…keep going di…and take care of your health di…it is more important…
Its ok yazhu…..yeah people loved priveer more than pridev….and dear…thanks for commenting
Hi …..I hope know me……if not I introduce my self……….i. Am also a. Ff writer here who faced the same problem……….for quite a long while…..
Hi I just wanna say some issues about ur ff……both positive and negative…..if I hurt you….am sorry for that….plz don’t take it seriously if its gonna hurt u…….
So here goes positive
Ur writing are clear
Every scene is perfectly ending
And ur idea is much new…..that s a great imagination…
I likes ur ff as a writer…….? ???
So negative
U have alack of shivika and iskara …..the both are the lovable……as a reader I want shivay and Om to be there in every scene I knew its not possible in ur concepts…..but plz do add some…and in is they show some one else as a pair for prinku…..so that’s the issue……..
Hope you don’t mind…..if I hurt u I am sorry…….? ? ?
Otherwise ur writing style is good…..and superb….?
I know you pragya…..and thanks for commenting on my ff and special thanks 4 pointing out the negatives…..shivika and ishkara…as i mentioned in prologue…this is an ff mainly focused on prinku and dev only….as for shivika and ishkara we are getting lot of ffs to read….
and shivaay and om….i will try to include them …..for every scene….will try dear….
and as per show they have focussed on priveer …that i know since its pridev ….many of u didn’t like it…..and dear…thanks for ur opinion…
Amazing as always
But write more scenes of pridev
Disha…i will write….as i have to reveal dev’s secret…dear….i have posted 7th one…..read it
Hey renima…..i guess dis is d first tym i m commenting……i really luvd d way u write……d narratiom was really gd…n i agree wid pragya di…..?
Thanks for commenting tulasi and glad that you also put a critical view ….
Its intresting i think there is something suspence in next part. Anyways i love priyaveer but i like pridev in ur ff its interesting