SWASAN FF I Hate u & I Hate Myself Because I Still Love U

Sanskar’s POV

It has been 3 months since Swara have gone missing. Everyone have believed she is dead but I will not I know she is alive and fine somewhere. Otherwise I will not have had this peace.

He opened his diary and took a photo of Swara

San: u know Swara everything went upside down since u gone. Ma is in a trauma she rarely gets out of her room not even talking to anyone. Dad is angry on me that I blamed u without proper investigation and even I wonder Swara how I did that. Ragini bhabhi is like a lifeless body she still cares for everyone does all the household works and even help dad in the matters connected with our educational institutions, but she is not having that smile, that attitude on her face which made her THE RAGINI LAKSH MAHESHWARY. Bhaya also is ignoring both of us. He is not even ready to talk with us. Yesterday I got to know that he is planning to leave to Bangalore as he got a job there. I know the main reason is that he doesn’t want to see me and bhabhi in front of him.

Shomy ma had a minor heart attack one month back. Now she is fine rather pretending to be. Baba is also not at all in a healthy condition. Thank God that Adi bhaya is there. He to was angry with me but thanks to pankuri bhabhi , she convinced him to forgive me seeing my efforts to find u.

I can handle everyone in our family Swara but this ramnath sir and arnav Bhai na. U know Swara last week I met arnav Bhai and Anjali di at market, if Anjali di was not there he would have killed me.

I’m not hurt with their accusations or angry dear, because I know I deserve it. But Swara what u did really hurts me a lot. I’m sorry yaar plz come back I can’t handle this separation any more. Everyone is saying that I’m mad, that I still didn’t agree with that nonsense. How can I be alive when u r dead Swara, I don’t know why they are not understanding this simple logic. If I’m sitting here calmly talking to u then it’s obvious that u r there somewhere safe and sound.

Sharmista’s POV

I know I’m a bad mother. I always ignored my own children and always give importance to ragini. I was helpless beta. When I was married to shekar ma(Parvathy gadodia) told me that I was there only as a caretaker of ragini. When I was pregnant with adi she did scanning bribing the doctor and as the child was a boy she didn’t opposed. She took care of me because I was going to give a heir for the gadodia empire. But ragini again became insecure because of ma’s over care towards adi. So I left adi with ma and always stayed with ragini.

When I was again pregnant ma again bribed the doctor and when she came to know that the child is a girl she compelled me for an abortion and when I was not willing she tried many other ways. When shekar came to know about this he disowned her and sent her to her brother’s house. When Swara was born I was afraid as ma was not there and if my concentration is on Swara then what will I do if ragini again became insecure. So I made Swara ragini’s doll. And in the name of helping ragini I took care of Swara. It was easy for me to because ragini always cared for Swara and she also have no complaints with me taking care of Swara.

But when Swara and ragini were standing against each other and I had to choose one among them, it was very difficult for me. The first thing came into my mind was the scared face of ragini at the day of my marriage. I didn’t wanted to make her breakdown. And I was sure that Swara is quite strong enough to handle herself. After all she is an IPS officer.
But I didn’t knew that fate will play such a cruel game that it didn’t even give me a chance to ask forgiveness from her.

Above all my son and DIL was also apart with me and shekar that they decide to leave the house. I lost my one daughter already, now an another loss I couldn’t take it and that lead to my heart attack. Seeing my condition they dropped the idea to leave us.

Sanskar comes here everyday and takes good care of our family but laksh he couldn’t forgive us. And we too did such a big mistake , no no it’s a sin, I know but for that God should have punished us why Swara. Oh God u could have taken my life. But in all these years things when I see sanskar’s confidence me too hope Swara is alive and is fine. Please beta plz come back soon.

Done.