Chapter 21- He Loved Her Enough!
‘Love is too young to know what conscience is’- William Shakespeare
—————
Fatimah sucked in a breath as he slowly made his way towards them , his eyes for a moment made contact with those of Fatimah’s her breathing almost hitched , she was feeling awkward , uneasy and what not , but the feeling that could grip her the tightest was fear, yes , for the first time in all these years she was feeling scared , the stern yet cold look , the lethal mad look on his handsome face , she had never seen before all of them were scaring her . Those piercing hazel eyes were starring deep into her light chocolate brown ones , she immediately looked away , she lowered her gaze , something she never ever wanted to do , atleast not at the moment, Nasir shifted his gaze towards Rana Bhanu , who seemed to be equally tensed “May I know the reason and the name of the prince your daughter wishes to marry?” He asked, his tone and expressions controlled , low , yet lethal.”His name is Adiraj , he is the crown prince of Umerkot , this marriage is very important for the maintenance of peace between the two kingdoms.” Bhanu replied and started to explain to him the whole situation , after he did so , Nasir sighed “We shall talk tomorrow over this , I think you need to sleep Ranaji.” he said ,it seemed more like a command than a request , taking a quick glance at Fatimah he darted out of the chamber.
————————————————————–
The night had grown deeper , yet Fatimah was struggling to sleep , sleep seemed to be far away from her eyes , suddenly the doors of her chambers opened with a loud thud , that made Fatimah sit up at once , she immediately wrapped the scarf that lied beside her she hid her bare shoulder and collarbone that was visible due to her off-shoulder , loose, silk night dress. The layers translucent layers around her bed made it difficult for her to make out who actually it was “Who is there?” she asked , a bit nervous by now , what it was an assassin , an intruder? Her mind was filled with questions , she reached out to grab her sword that layed just beside her but before she could do so the layers were harshly pushed aside , only to reveal the Sultan of Ghazni himself , Nasirudeen ,her Nasir . “Na..” but before she could complete , she was pushed down by him , his hands trapping her wrists at either sides of hers and his body trapping hers “What are you…” she was left incomplete as Nasir’s lips immediately claimed hers , it was demanding kiss , moreover a forceful one , she could get a strange sickening smell from his mouth , it was then it struck her , alcohol ! With all her strength , she pushed and he finally left her mouth but not her body. “You are drunk!” she stated aggressively , struggling to free herself , but this time he won’t let her go , he was too mad at her , at the situation , Nasir gave humorless laugh that stiffened Fatimah , he was drunk , that means he is not in his senses and he is already mad at her , that clearly means one thing , the situation is too delicate now, “You think I care , I was never a very religious person and since you left , I had stopped caring , drinking actually helps me to think better , especially when I am put into such a situation love!” he stated carelessly “You are not in your senses Nasir.” Fatimah tried to make him realise “Yes ! Because I am mad at the situation , why don’t you just come with me , why are you making this tough for us?” he said ,gritting his teeth in anger.
Before Fatimah could react to his statement , she felt her scarf being pulled away exposing her bare shoulder and collarbone and a hint of her cleavage to him to which she gasped in horror , as it it wasn’t enough , she felt him placing wet kisses all over her jawline , traveling down slowly “St-top pleas..please stop.” a horror stricken Fatimah shuttered , she had to stop him , she was lost in thoughts when she felt his hands gripping her dress material , he gripped it tighter , ready to tear it off at any moment , her breathing hitched , but suddenly she remembered something , something that might push some sense into him , he had lost his senses “You…you pr-romised me that you would not do anything without my consent!” she almost chocked in nervousness and fear ,before she realised it tears started to make their way from her eyes , she could feel her heartbeat getting faster as Nasir’s grip loosened , both on her cloth and body , slowly he lifted himself , freeing her , his eyes had softened seeing her cry helplessly , his mouth parted at the sudden realisation hit him , the softness in his eyes were now replaced by guilt .”I am sorry !” that was all her could say before he got down the bed abruptly and darted out of the chamber .
——————————————————————
The dawn broke and so did Fatimah’s short- term sleep , as she slowly opened her eyes , her head throbbed with a massive headache , she still felt dizzy and weak and finally , she closed her yes again , letting sleep capture her . Again.
The next time she woke up was not due to her internal clock but a sudden creak of the doors of her chamber that opened abruptly , sitting up immediately , she wrapped the scarf around her bare shoulder immediately , her grip over her scarf tightened as her curious eyes saw a familiar walking towards her , it as definitely him. But to her surprise , he did not dismiss the layers between them , instead , he stood there silently , his head down , a sudden tension developed in the chamber , sighing , Nasir finally spoke up “I am sorry , sorry for whatever had happened last night ….I…was too drunk…I…” he chocked in between , guilt had completely consumed him , he was not in his senses last night , yet when he woke up and the memories flowed into his mind , he felt disgusted of himself , he wanted to hit his head on the walls of his chamber until life would give up on him. He was not disgusted by his actions because she was the love of his life , but because she was a WOMAN and every woman, according to him deserved respect and love , their will matters , it does matter. Taking a deep breath , he could finally muster up the courage to speak further , the silence was deafening , Fatimah choose not to utter a single word and let him continue “I am feeling disgusted of myself , guilty and what not. Fatimah ! You have all the rights to accuse me , curse me , blame and most importantly , to.. to move on , to start a new life. Adiraj is a better person perhaps , who will keep you happy , in peace and…trust you when you need his trust the most , when the world would be raising finger on you. I need to leave for Ghazni , my people need me. I promise you that I will be back soon and free you from this marriage , so that you can marry Adiraj. All the best for your future. I still love you and will always do , it was , still is and always be you. But it seems my love wasn’t strong enough , you deserve better Fatimah. Good bye Alvida (Goodbye forever).” he gulped as the words left his mouth , Fatimah starred at his visible figure through the layers in pure shock , she was actually beyond shock , her mind was blank and her heart heavy. Getting no response from Fatimah , Nasir took it as an approval , the last ray of hope vanished and he finally turned back , every step he took towards the doors made his hear feel heavier , his soul more empty and his tears more visible , but he had to do this , he loved her enough to let her go , he loved her enough to overcome his feeling and put her before him , his love was selfless and pious , yet innocent. Taking a glance of his life , his love , his everything , whom , he was perhaps seeing the last time , he finally mustered up some courage to quicken his pace and with a dash , he left the chamber.
Fatimah felt her senses going numb , she felt as if she was drifting away from her life , she could not breath for a minute , that was when she realised actually what had happened , he walked away from her life , he was freeing her from this marriage.
***************************************************************************************************
So , how was it ? Sorry I could not reply to your comments , but all I want is to genuinely thank those who comment regularly and encourage me. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
2 Comments
Feeling very bad for nasir…hope fatimah forgives nasir atleast now….thanks for the update..description of expressions and feelings you just nailed it
its totally emotional.