SWASAN: ONLY FOR YOU [EPI-84]

swasan: only for you [epi-84]
time passes with it’s own speed. it’s us who feel it differently according to our situation. like when we wait for someone it feels that time has stopped and when we are sad it feels like ages passed but that painful era of life doesn’t. and when it’s turn of happiness it is like the moment ended even before it started. this is the fact of life and our perception about time.

similar thought was running in sanskar’s mind who was lying facing swara who was sleeping . she is somewhere in the mid of her fifth month of pregnancy. being tired she is in deep sleep but her prince is waiting for something and during waiting these thoughts crossed his mind.

he is thinking that how those painful times have been like ages and killing and destroying him. at that time how hard was it for all of them to pass a day. but when happiness knocked it’s door then how those beautiful four and half years passed in a blink it feels. swasan patch up, swayyam’s birth and his childhood and then uttmay’s love and wedding. he meeting rashika and there small beautiful world.
then the dreadful day of swayyam’s kidnapping and those hours of him being away from swayyam and swara and swara’s condition in hospital and the following few days till they sorted out everything. such a difficult phase of life and now after that they are here when swara is again pregnant with their second child and how eagerly are they waiting for that moment for the child to come out and they taking it in their arms and how dearly they want it to be their baby girl.

swayyam the most adorable kid with his own understanding calls the baby as his as swara told him. it’s his task to make swara drink milk. he kind of orders her sometime like- ‘mumma drink the milk. my baby will be hungry. if you will drink it my baby will be strong’…hahhaa [sanskar chuckled slightly] he thinks of how he himself taught swayyam these things so that his work to make swara drink milk becomes easy.
with his thoughts he concluded that the phase they are in is mixture of all the phases. their wait and their happiness makes them feel time to be long or sometimes short. but whatever it is it is beautiful. thinking about all these sanskar saw the clock strike 12 am [midnight] he smiled and first thanked god and then looked at swara. he leaned towards her.
sanskar- [slowly and lovingly whispered in her ears] princess get up.[swara turned her head otherside] swara princess get up naa please.
swara slowly opened her eyes to see sanskar sitting beside her with a smile on his face.
swara- [irritated and sleepy voice] hmmm sanskar….i want to sleep. why are you disturbing me. baby is also sleepy so let me sleep.
sanskar pecked her forehead and slightly caressed her face making swara smile and frown at the same time. smile to feel his love but frown for this timing as it is disturbing her sleep.
sanskar- [against her ears] happy birthday princess.
swara hearing it just hmmmed but after few seconds opened her eyes in excitement.
swara- 12 baj gaye. [is it 12 o’clock.]
sanskar- [smiled] yes. happy birthday [pecked her lips]
swara smiled and sat but still feeling sleepy.
swara- thank you. [kissed on his cheeks and kept her head on his chest and closed her eyes]
sanskar- [caressing her hairs] all must be coming to wish you anytime.

swara- sanskar i am still sleepy.[gripped on his waist more]
sanskar- i know but just for few minutes. they will wish and then go. accha won’t you ask your gift.
swara- you are there naa i don’t need anything else. but since it’s my birthday so my prince the whole day will be according to me.
sanskar- as you say. and not only today but everyday will be according to you. but i have something for you. do you want to see.
swara- [excited] haan show naa.

sanskar gave her a small packet and swara took it excitedly and started opening it.
as soon as she opened it her face glowed and a wide smile adored her face. it was a beautiful model of couple dancing and on switching it on with the battery it moved in dance form like salsa and glitters spread all over through the glass. [sorry i don’t know what do we call it.]

swara played it multiple times and was smiling whole heartedly.
swara then suddenly kissed him passionately making him surprised but then he responded.
swara- [moving out of kiss for breath] thank you sanskar. it is so nice. i loved it.
sanskar- that i know and you showed it perfectly.
swara blushed slightly.
they heard the knock sound and sanskar went and opened the door while swara hid the gift.
swayyam and ayush ran inside and came on the bed and wished swara. [sumi woke them up because the last time on their anniversary when they got to know that all wished swasan in midnight they were angry as they couldn’t and hence they told that next time they want to wish in midnight so others should wake them up]
sayyam/ayush- happy birthday mumma/didi.

swara- thank you.
they both kissed on her cheeks and she reciprocated. swayyam opened a dairy milk silk bubbly and fed swara while she fed him back. others too came and wished her and swara cut the cake and fed everyone and then all departed and swasan too came in their room. both slept in each other’s embrace as swara wanted to sleep and sanskar obliged as now she needs extra care because of her pregnancy.
a month ago swara fainted in kitchen while working. although feeling dizzy and nauseas are normal in this period but since during swara’s first pregnancy things were much better. she was quite well at that time than now. nikita ji after checking her reports after doing some tests informed that swara have some complications in her pregnancy. and she also mentioned that she is a little bit week. due to the attack and injuries she got due to bullet shot and stabbing just a few months before her pregnancy had affected her health badly. although she recovered but still that had some impacts on her health and now these complications need extra care for her.
she is facing back pain quite often and feeling dizziness is quite normal for her. for these reasons everyone is extra careful for her. swasan had shifted downstairs and sanskar has prohibited swara from using stairs and also she is not allowed to do any work. swara had been angry on sanskar for this matter many times but sanskar paid no heed to that because more than her temporary anger her health and both their safety/ protection is what matter’s to him.
in the morning-
swasan were sleeping when alarm rang. swara was disturbed and she was annoyed due to this. she started crying in sleepy mode to stop the sound.
swara- aannaahhh [not like real crying but i do sometimes when i am forced to wake up or hear loud sounds when i am sleeping] stop these sounds. sanskar [shaking him with her left hand] sanskar stop this sound. aahhhh sanskar.
sanskar who was sleeping got up rubbing his eyes hearing swara.
sanskar- haan swara. [he switched off the alarm and then swara again drifted into sleep]
sanskar leaned on the headboard and closing his eyes. after few minutes he opened his eyes with a sigh and looked at swara. he remembered that it’s swara’s birthday. he smiled and just kissed on her forehead. without disturbing her he moved to washroom and freshened up and went to kids room to wake them up. sumi has been in charge of breakfast and also handled ayush. while sanskar made swayyam ready. he comes to his room and wakes up swara.

sanskar- swara wake up. it’s too late and swayyam will go to school in a while.
with some trials swara woke up.
sanskar- happy birthday swara.
swara- [smiled] thank you. [she pecked on his lips and sanskar smiled]
sanskar- accha come get freshen up and then will have breakfast and then i will drop kids to school.
swara- [sad] are they going school.
sanskar- [casually] haan. swayyam is ready almost. just breakfast and i have to keep his books and that’s it.
swara- [sad] ohhh.
sanskar- why are you sad.

swara- nothing.
sanskar- swara tell me.
swara- vo…no leave it.
sanskar- swaraa.
swara- ok i want to spend full day with you all and also wanna go out to swayyam’s favourite ice cream parlour and then to….
sanskar- swara you know naa that in this condition you don’t have to…
swara- that’s why i told naa leave it. you go i will come in a while after getting fresh.[said with a fake smile]

swara got down and moved to washroom. sanskar went out of room thinking for a while.
when swara came out she was surprised. she came near dining table staring at everyone.
swara- sanskar you said they are going to school then why are they in casuals.
sanskar- you wanted to spend whole day with all of us so for today no school for today [swara smiled brightly hearing this but she never let’s them miss there school except some occasions]
swayyam- happy birthday mumma. [came and hugged swara through her legs] [keeping hand on her belly] my baby good morning.
swasansumi smiled seeing this. ayush too came and wished swara.

sumi- shona come and sit here. i made all your favourites. taste and say how is it.
swara smiled and sat down to eat. she was very happy to eat all her favourites. she thanked sumi. then sumi brought a bowl of rasgullas and served her. but swara denied to eat as she didn’t feel like to eat sweet at that time.
sumi- shona eat at least one. it is made by….
swara- no maa. i don’t want to eat it.
sanskar- maa let it be, if she doesn’t want to eat. [to swara] acc
ha say what you wanna eat.
swara- you will not allow so what’s the need to ask. let it be.
sanskar- but say naa may be i bring it for you.

swara- what i said in the morning. ice cream and gol gappe and too spicy [said with a bit excitement]
sanskar looked at her for a while and swara looked at him with a hope and kids were shouting for ice cream.
sanskar- ok but change is all will be home made. no outside items.
swara- [narrowing her eyes] home made, who will make it and how will it be like those we get on road side stalls. sanskar i want to eat at road side stalls and not the homemade ones which won’t be tasty at all.
sanskar- first try then say.
swara- ohh and whom are you going to bring to make them.

sanskar- that i will see. but i will get it prepared.
swara- sanskar don’t joke around. directly say that i can’t eat outside ones because making it at home is not possible.
sanskar- huh! i think you should go and rest, or else you are going to eat my head saying the same thing again and again.
swara glared sanskar and went in room stamping her foot angrily.
sanskar sighed seeing her disappearing figure.
sumi- sanskar why didn’t you let me tell her that it’s you who especially made the rasgullas for her.
sanskar- maa that’s not necessary. she wasn’t willing to eat it now and if you said then she would definitely eat it even she won’t be willing to so that i be happy. so for now keep it in the freeze and let’s start making ice cream and gol gappe. but first let me search how to prepare it.
sumi- it means you are going to make it by your own.
sanskar- yaa maa. i want to make something for her today by my own hands which she will be willing to eat. [sumi had tears in her eyes seeing his love for swara]
sanskar- maa why are you crying now.
sumi- these are happy tears seeing that swara got someone who stands by her and loves her so much.
sanskar- maa it’s not me but her who has always been with me when i am alone and left out. she loved me and befriended me when no one was to accept me. she is with me and so i am doing all this otherwise god knows where would i have been. now enough of talks and let’s start doing our dishes. [sumi nodded]
sanskar saw methods to make it and then with help of sumi he was trying to prepare it. in first attempt they made it a mess but then sanskar went on for the second attempt and yet again they made a liquid ice cream and the puchka was all flat. sumi was exhausted and so was sanskar.
sanskar- maa you go and rest for a while.
sumi- no let me help you.
sanskar- maa i will call you in sometime ok. i am also going to review the process.
sumi- ok. but call me ok.
sanskar nodded and sumi went. sanskar again saw the process and tried with utmost care. till the time sumi came back she saw sanskar frying out the puchkas which were perfect round shaped.
sumi- [amazed] wahhh sanskar these are perfect. but why didn’t you call me when you were trying it again.

sanskar- maa i thought to give a chance to myself. it was going to be mess again but don’t know how these came out to be good. but i don’t know about the icecream. i prepared new one and has kept it in freeze. let’s see.
sumi took out the bowl and there it was perfectly solidified. sanskar scooped a spoon and tasted and yes it was good. he gave to sumi and she just smiled at her son in law seeing his efforts.
sanskar- maa one last thing and most important. [tensed]
sumi- what?
sanskar- the filling and the water for puchka. the potato filling we will prepare but…..

sumi- but what.
sanskar- we don’t have tamarind and also if we had we had to kept it soaked first and so although everything is done but then also nothing is done.
sumi looked at him tensed and then spoke.
sumi- isn’t the sour water can be prepared with something else, i mean any other material.
sanskar- i don’t know let me search.
sanskar surfed different sites and then his face brightened.
sanskar- maa we can do it by using mint [pudina]. it will be healthy too.
sumi- really. but sanskar we don’t have mint at home now.
sanskar- so what let me ask someone to bring till then let’s prepare the filling.
then both got indulged and their 3 and half hours hard work became successful. they gave hi fi and putting things on the tray they came out and called for everyone.
swara being angry didn’t came out from the room. sanskar came in the room and saw her sitting upset and angry on the bed.
sanskar- [lovingly] swara…..princess [swara angrily saw him] [sanskar gulped] princess your ice cream and gol gappe are ready. come naa. you taste and say how is it.
swara- i don’t need. you go from here.
sanskar- arre but once come out naa. see you wanted to eat them and now you are saying you don’t need. swara don’t be in angry mood and come.
swara- sanskar i said naa i don’t want. you go. today is my birthday and you said that everything will be according to me but no you can’t let me go out and have what i want. then it’s better that i stay in this room. i don’t want to have anything. so you better go from here.
swara laid down without paying any heed to sanskar and covered herself with blanket. sanskar felt bad and he came out of the room sensing that she is not in good mood.
when he came out he saw uttmay and rashika already present there. sumi came to sanskar.
sumi- sanskar where is shona.
sanskar- [composed] maa she is sleeping.
sumi- sleeping. now. then let me wake her up.
sanskar- no maa let it be.

sumi- sanskar what’s the matter.
sanskar- nothing maa.
sumi- sanskar tell me or i am going to ask shona.
sanskar- maa voh actually she is upset from me that i didn’t allowed her to eat from outside and so she denied to come to have all these. let it be. when her mood will be alright then she will have it.
sanskar gave a fake smile and went and sat with others who by now were anxiously waiting for this treat. sanskar told them to have whatever they feel like and he went into his study and started doing work.
sumi got angry on swara’s behaviour and went in her room angrily.
sumi- shona [swara wakes up as sumi called her] shona what kind of behaviour is this.
swara- [startled and confused by her tone] what happened maa.

sumi- you are asking me what happened. shona how can you behave so insensibly. i understand that in pregnancy mood swings have great effect on the mother but that doesn’t mean you will not look around and behave so immaturely.
swara- [tears brimming her eyes] maa i am not understanding what you intend to say?
sumi- shona sanskar has been doing so much for you and you even didn’t care to look and appreciate him even once. today is your birthday and he is trying his best to make you happy. he did not take you out because it is not good for your health. but also because you wanted to have those things sanskar has prepared them by his own hands standing in the kitchen for almost four hours. just for the sake your wish gets fulfilled he did not cared whether he failed or is tired but continued to try so that you become happy but you? huh! i understand your situation too but shona it’s not correct. becoming adamant for something is not good. in morning too you refused to have rasgullas. do you know that it was also made by sanskar.
swara was weeping by now with guilt of what she did unintentionally. sumi seeing her state hit her forehead and sat beside her.

sumi- sorry shona. i shouldn’t have talked to you like this but shona i just wanted you to realise your mistake. shona a husband like sanskar is rare to get whose happiness lies in his wife. everyone ia not so lucky to get a life partner, a lover who stands by her when all are against her. he has been with you in all your tough times and did what you wanted. you also know that he lives for you. you are everything to him. shona you have got the best and the most caring and loving husband. love him, care for him and never hurt him.i know as much as he loves you you also do to him but shona you need to realise that unintentionally also you are hurting him. [caressed her cheeks with care and concern] correct your mistakes beta and always remember that never to hurt someone who is all in all doing everything for you and loving and trusting you unconditionally.
swara nodded and sumi left.

swara- [wiping her tears] i am sorry sanskar. but now i will make everything correct.
swara walked out of room to kitchen and kept things on a tray and started climbing stairs. sumi came for her support but she smiled at her and said that she will manage.
swara climbed up and moved towards the study room and entered in quitely without making any noise and settled the tray on the table and it’s when sanskar who was engrossed in his work looked around hearing the sound of something being kept. he was surprised to see swara there. he stood up realising that she is in study that is upstairs.
sanskar- swara why you came here. you should have called me if you needed something and why did you climb the stairs. i told you naa never climb the stairs. it’s risky.
swara- [came near him and holding hs hand brought him to the sofa and made him sit and sat beside him] now sit here.

swara removed the plates and smiled seeing the items. sanskar looked at everything kept in the tray and then at swara.
sanskar- you didn’t wanted to eat naa.
swara- but now i desperately want to eat from your hand. will you please feed me.
sanskar nodded happily.
sanskar- sure.
sanskar fed her puchka and swara happily ate it. she gulped one, then another and in between gave to sanskar and while eating she started crying. she was eating as well as crying. sanskar stopped feeding her seeing her tears.
sanskar- what happened swara. why are you crying.

swara didn’t said anything and turned her head and herself started eating the puchka whaile sanskar was giving her a confused look.
swara chocked while gulping one puchka as she was crying too. she started coughing and sanskar worriedly gave her water and rubbed her back.
sanskar- swara easy.
swara drank water felt better and was about to eat more but sanskar held her hand.
sanskar- no more. look at me and say why are you crying.
swara- because my husband is too bad. he is a stupid idiot and no. 1 budduram.
sanskar- ooo……. may i know what’s the reason that you are giving me so respectful designations.
swara- [looked at him with anger guilt and tears in her eyes] because you are one. why didn’t you tell me that you prepared them all by yourself.
sanskar- i didn’t felt like to inform. and what’s their to inform. it’s just puchka naa.
swara- it’s not just puchka but your love you stupid. [crying] i refused to eat and you didn’t inform me that you made it. you would be hurt when i refused to have them. and here you are saying that it is just puchka. if i made something for you would you consider it just a dish.

sanskar- no it will be very special for me.
swara- and if i made something with so much love and don’t inform you that i made it and you won’t eat it and later you get to know that i made it especially for you, would you feel good.
sanskar- no.

swara- then how could you b so normal now. i am sorry that i did hurt you. i am so sorry sanskar. but it’s all because i didn’t knew you made it. and also because i was adamant to eat outside that i could not see your hard work to arrange everything for me keeping my health in your mind. i am so sorry. please forgive me.

sanskar- sshhh swara i didn’t feel bad. stop crying. you know your tears now are making me feel bad. so stop crying if you want to see me happy. [wiped her tears]
swara- ok i will cot cry. come let’s eat. by the way sanskar it’s really tasty. i liked it very much. [she said while eating another piece and one by one they both eat and fed each other happily. swara ate all at once. first puchka then ice cream and then rasgulla.
swara- it’s the best i ate ever. [she kissed on his cheeks in excitement]
sanskar- ahe ahem…. swara that kiss should have been given at right place then it would have been better.
swara blushed n shyness, but then also leaned towards him and kissed him lightly, surprising him.

swara- [hugged him] thank you for everything and it was your reward. love you so much.
swasan spent sometime sitting in each other’s embrace in study and then sanskar asked swara to dance with him.
sanskar- swara would you like to dance with me now. you asked me naa few days ago that you wanna dance.
swara- haan but you refused naa considering my health.
sanskar- but now i am myself asking you, only if you wish to.
swara- off course.
she stood up and sanskar took her hands and brought her in middle of study and kept his hands on her waist and she kept her hands on his chest.
swara- sanskar music.
sanskar- today i will sing for you.
sanskar started singing.
sanskar- [tumko paya hai toh jaise khoya hoon
kehna chahun bhi toh tumse kya kahun]*2
kisi jabaan mein bhi vo lafz hi nahi
ki jinme tum ho kya, tumhe bata sakun
mein agar kahun tum saa hasin
kaynat mein nahi hai kahi
tarif ye bhi toh sach hai kuch bhi nahin
tumko paya hai toh jaise khoya hun
[sanskar as he sang the song meaning each word for swara, she got amazed and kept looking at him lovingly. sanskar took utmost care with swara and did slight movements to left and right not giving her much stress]
sanskar- shokinyoo mein doobi ye adaaein
cehre se jhalki huyi hai
julfoon ki ghani ghani ghatayein
shaan se dhalki huyi hai
lahrata aanchal hai jaise badal
bahoon mein bhari hai jaise chandani
roop ki chandani.
main agar kahoon ye dilkasi
hai nahi naa hogi kabhi
tarif ye bhi toh sach hai kuch bhi nahin
tumko paya hai toh jaise khoya hoon
[sanskar caressed her cheeks and hair and properly tucked her hairs behind her ears. he took her saree pallu and covered her head as a bride and rubbed his nose against hers]
swara-

[tum hue meherbaan toh hai ye daastan]*2
ab tumhara mera hai ek karwaan
tum jahan main waha
[swara sang these lines with full meaning and looked at sanskar with all her love and kept her head on his chest]

sanskar- main agar kahoon humsafar meri
apsara ho tum ya koi pari
tarif ye bhi toh sach hai kuch bhi nahin
tumko paya hai toh jaise khoya hoon
kehna chahun bhi toh tumse kya kahun
kisi jabaan mein bhi vo lafz hi nahi
ki jinme tum ho kya, tumhe bata sakun
mein agar kahun tum saa hasin
kaynat mein nahi hai kahi
tarif ye bhi toh sach hai kuch bhi nahin
[sanskar singing the above lines danced carefully with swara]
as they finished dancing sanskar made her sit as she must have been tired and they talked and like this they spent the day together.
they did some fun with others and swara spent time with swayyam and ayush talking to them and telling them stories and listening to all their childish talks etc. they also had a visit at ss trust orphange and main center on swara’s name as they organise a small birthday party for her every year.
according to swara the best birthday celebration and treat is to be with her own family and spend quality time with them and that is what she did.
on a happy note the day ended with swasan sleeping in each other’s embrace.
done with this part.

precap- revelation of past and shekhar.
next epi today itself . wait for it and sorry for being irregular. now all the twists will start unfolding.