Liveliness and Loneliness from love (KKB) OS

Note: This OS is a dedication to all ff writers in TU. Why am I dedicating? Main reason is feeling sorry of unable to comment in some of the fantastic ffs and shots. Kindly accept this OS as my dedication! Thank you friends! This OS is also dedicated to all those who read my ffs as well and sorry for not being able to reply u all too. (Mainly because I am under phobia attack of holidays coming to an end…..)

Life takes a turn whenever you end up with unexpected situations, unexpected places and definitely with unexpected people. Like that I ended up with an unexpected situation.
Let me introduce myself first, I am Pragya Arora. I lost my parents when I was very young and my sister was adopted by some wealthy couple. At an age of 10, I already knew how well my parents were, that made me difficult to accept others as my parents. But my sister was few months old. I know it was better for her to be not here at an orphanage with me. I felt very sad but I told myself that this is good for my sister. I missed my sister for a long time but then being with my friends here it slowly made me feel better. I studied well and graduated as the topper. Now it was my time to see the real world. The orphanage that I grew up was the safest place. I never knew the outside world will be pretentious. I still had to survive in this world as I want to live my loneliness in my own way.

Soon, I got a well paid job. I had even a company car, an apartment. What else do I need? It was more than sufficient for me to lead a decent life. As this was going on, I met him. How I end up knowing him is the unexpected situation. I met him at the hospital where my friend was admitted for labour pains. He was badly injured lying on the stretcher. Lots of blood was bleeding from his head. Deep scars on his forehead and face. He had horrendous injuries. I was heading to pay the hospital bills when I heard there was no one to admit him to start the treatment. I didn’t think twice and said to the receptionist saying that he is my friend.

Then all the treatment started in parallel, my friend also delivered a beautiful baby. I told my friend about him and she smiled and said You are always helpful. I found it cliche and in return smiled at her, leaving her to rest as her family was already there to take care of.

The next I went to see him. A Doctor called me urgently saying that he needs to brief about his health condition. I listened carefully to him and realized that he lost his speaking ability after the accident. It was so saddening to hear that. But what made me even sad was he wants to be alone now. What he meant was he doesn’t want anybody’s help and he had communicated with the Doctor that he is thankful for my help. He would manage himself and would also pay back for my favour.

This made me feel he really needs someone by his side. I don’t know why he wants to be alone but being alone in this kind of state will greatly affect his mental health as well.

Then I went inside the ward to see him when he was trying to take something from the side table with difficulty. Seeing that anyone would help and I helped him to take his phone which looked badly damaged. He looked at me with a lot of pain and he even told something as if he is scolding me but once he realized that what he said can’t be heard, he looked away.

I had only thing to say, I don’t know who u are or how u end up like this but you are also lonely like me now.

He looked at me with surprise and I smiled at him. He wanted to tell me something and looked around. I took a paper and pen from my handbag for him to write on it. He taking it scribbled something and I looked at him cluelessly.

He forwarded the paper to me and signalled me to read. I had to say that his handwriting was very difficult to read but I still managed to comprehend it. I looked at him in amazement but he was giving a sorry face for his handwriting.

I was still in astonishment of his words. He wants to stay with me, how do I reply him to this? If I had to think wisely, I should say no. How can I allow a man to live with an unwedded girl like me? What will my neighbours talk about us?

However, looking at his grief-stricken face filled with pain I said yes you can. He in return simply wrote saying that he would only stay with me until he recovers completely. After that, he won’t disturb me.

I agreed to it by nodding my head after reading what he have written. The next obvious question was to ask his name but before that he wrote in the paper that he is Abhi. I asked him don’t you have anyone to visit you? He looked away with tears and I said I’m sorry for asking like that.

The next moment was awkward in silence so I left the ward to make arrangements for him to be at my house. I had asked my driver’s help to hold and bring him to the car when he was discharged.

He was initially very hesitant to ask me for anything but he slowly observed my activities of helping him whenever I can. It could have touched his heart with that gesture of mine.

In the evenings, he would ask me to watch television with me and I also did although I was not fond of television shows. He likes to watch reality shows especially singing shows. He would lip sync with the songs with perfection. I felt like hearing his voice seeing that but nobody knows when will his vocal chords will work again. That is what the Doctor said to me. Doctor suggested for an operation but he rejected that suggestion. I wondered why he doesn’t want his voice back but who am I to force him to agree for the operation. He won’t listen to me for sure. Days passed and he was more like a friend towards me now. The silence between us was never a barrier. He understood me very well whenever I was stressed about work. At that times, he would make his favourite cinnamon coffee to make me stress free.

As days passed, an unknown fear engulfed me too. He is recovering soon and he would leave from here at any time. I was trying to maintain a distance by doing overtime at work and at home I tend to sleep earlier saying that I am very tired. He could have found it weird and that’s why he wrote a note on the fridge asking Are you alright Pragya?

After seeing that, I was about to leave early to work when he stopped me by the door. I gasped at him as he looked warily at me. He held my hand and placed my phone on my palm that I forgot to take. Oh god! For my phone he was so close to me holding my hand. All these days he never held my hand, and this was now something unexpected.

He left from there by shaking his head with a wide smile for my reaction. I could have overreacted too. He just tried to pass me my phone but I was feeling liveliness in his touch. Liveliness in his presence.

How weird is that? All the while I am thinking of the loneliness in his absence but when he touched me I am thinking of liveliness in his presence.

I said to myself that this is short lived and went to my work as usual. I got a message from him that day itself asking me what time are u coming back?

I texted him back saying Will be back by 8 pm. He simply texted me back saying he will pick me up. It was strange was as he never really said like this before. I have told him where I work but why should he come and pick me up when I have my own car! I did texted him asking is it anything important but there was no reply from him. I was quite tensed but tried to calm myself that it wouldn’t be what I feared of him leaving me.

He was early as I could see his impatient look by leaning against a black car. It was definitely not mine. He smiled at me as if he was happy seeing me.

I walked towards him and asked why was he here? He shrugged his shoulder as if it’s just like that. He have a habit of shrugging his shoulder whenever he wants to show it’s just like that. By now, I knew every action of his that was something unexpected as well. He too understand me or even more than me.

He already had written a letter and passed me the envelope to me. He gestured to me to read it now. I pondered what was that by opening the envelope and unfolding the letter.

Like I expected he wants to leave now. No wonder he had his car here. That’s when I noticed some bags inside the car too. I tried not to shed my tears as it will make me weak in front of him. I didn’t want to bid a farewell to him with tears. I smiled widely saying, I had memorable moments with you and will you remember this friend of yours forever?

By now my voice was not steady and it really sounded as if I will miss him badly.

He smiled through his eyes and looked as if he would also miss me badly.

I said You are a very decent guy I have ever met.

He looked at me with surprise and smiled proudly. But why do u have to leave at night? You could leave in the morning na. I placed my concern forward.

He gestured to me that his hometown is very far and had to leave now as he had already informed his folks about his arrival tomorrow. I can see his eagerness to meet his family. I wondered who are his family, will they be as sweet as him? I could only wonder that when he is leaving now.

A moment later, he asked by gesturing and pointing to the car do you want to join me?

I was confused, if I join him then wouldn’t it be difficult for me to leave him there and get back to where I am. At the same time, I don’t feel like rejecting his offer when he is eagerly looking at me to say yes.

He was getting impatient for my answer and that’s when he pulled me inside the car. I sighed and shrieked I am still thinking! and how can u pull me in like this?

He smiled and typed in his phone saying that tell me before I fall asleep!

How mean was that? I frowned at him and he winked at me.

His wink was one of it’s kind. It shows mischievousness and cuteness at the same time. If anyone ask what I liked most about him was his wink and smile. This two features of him are something that I can see for hours for no particular reason.

Then he made me came back to senses by pressing the horn loudly.

I smiled sheepishly and he raised his eyebrows of asking my decision.

I wish to come with you Abhi but what will your family think about me. I mean they don’t know me and how will they react if u face them with me all of a sudden.

He smirked as if my worries was nothing to him. He showed me a message from his phone. He had already mentioned about me and my help to him. I smiled seeing that but what caught my eyes was the person he sent it to. It was a lady’s name, Laya.

Who was this Laya? His girlfriend? Or worst thing was his wife. Yes how can I never ever asked him anything about his personal life in the days we spent together. All we did was talking about our likes and dislikes if not helping each other in cooking. Yes we cook together, he didn’t know cooking at all and the way I treated him like he was my assistant and I am the chef. How funny it was when he thought all flours are the same and gave me corn flour instead of plain flour and I blindly took that and spoiled our dinner that day.

All the moments that I spent with him were unexpected as I never expect a person to share space with me.

Finally, I said yes I am coming despite the fact that I had lots of pending works at my office. I don’t care about them now mainly because to see who was this Laya. I don’t feel like asking him directly.

The next moment, he looked very excited of my yes. He ruffled his hair and looked at me with a victorious smile. Why does he have to smile that as if he had won something. I don’t know. Maybe he wants me to come over there.

I had to say it was a very long journey. I slept mostly and at times leaning on his shoulder. I hoped he didn’t mind it though. Sometimes it was unknowingly and most of the times I did that knowingly as I didn’t know when I would be able to feel his presence again in my life.

I wished it to be a never ending journey. I wished the time to make this never ending journey last for long. I wished the time to freeze. I wished for the distance to not bother when he is with me.

We reached his hometown as earlier than expected. I was feeling jittery of how fast we had reached and how fast is going away from me.

I can’t even enjoy the pleasant environment around me. It was not a bustling city but it was a picturesque village with the breeze that was trying to take my apprehensions. The air had warmth and fragrance that made me feel to stay there forever. Or to tell the truth stay there with him forever.

He did noticed my worried face and placed his hand around my shoulder as an act to relax me. But it didn’t relax me as I would miss him more remembering his every action towards me.

I gave a faint smile and he gave me an expression as if there is nothing to worry about. He moved from me to take the bags and signalled me to walk by his side at all times.

I did that and we were walking for a long distance until I complained why is it taking so long. He never replied but was giving a wide smile as usual. His patience to tolerate my complaints was another characteristic of his that always admire him. I am a complain queen from young. I always complain about everything when I am upset. Now I am upset about him leaving me.

Finally we reached in front of his house, It was a huge mansion that I was blinking my eyes continuously. There was already decorations made to invite him. Lots of cars were parked which made me feel that he is very wealthy. Someone saw Abhi and yelled in happiness that He is back! Abhi had arrived! He chuckled silently at the person’s excitement and shrugged his shoulder looking at me.

I just smiled as I never expected someone’s arrival to create excitement and cheerfulness in the air.

He walked as I walked beside him and followed into his house. I saw an elderly lady coming with tears. Most probably she could be his Dadi and there were so many others that I couldn’t figure out who they were. He has a very big family but why didn’t they bother to find his whereabouts all this while. There should be a reason for that.
So I stayed there for a few days mostly with him and his niece and nephews. They are very adorable like him. We always used to play games and he make funny faces when I win. How badly I will miss this faces of him later.

Not having the guts to leave by telling him, I called my driver to come down there and planned to leave in the night when he was asleep.

But I didn’t know he was having sleepless nights just like me.

I never had to pack anything as mostly I was wearing the clothes that his family offered me so wearing one of the beautiful sarees that his Dadi gifted me, I was waiting outside the house to leave him. Leave him…It was not at all a nice thought. Leaving him here….that sounds better…

As unexpected, he patted my shoulder and looked as if what am I doing here?

I looked confused of what to answer him now. I gave the same reason when he said he had to leave to his hometown that day.

He teasingly smiled at my reasoning. He looked as if I am a copycat.

I don’t have time to explain to him as I didn’t have a reason to stay here now.

I looked away to hide my tears but they already had flown down my cheeks & the worst thing was it fogged my chasma like morning mist.

He held my hands again for the second time and pulled me into the house. His house was now pitch dark with all the lights off.

He spinned me for some reason and I stood there with a puzzled look when I heard the lights being switched on sound. It was a spotlight where he was seen holding a mic.

He is holding a mic? How can he tell anything when his voice was not back!

To my surprise he cleared his throat and was singing.

Kyunki Tum Hi Ho Ab Tum Hi Ho is sung by Abhi….

Hum tere bin ab reh nahin sakte
Tere bina kyaa vajood meraa

I can’t live without you now,
What’s my existence without you..

Tujh se judaa gar ho jaayenge
To khud se hi ho jaayenge judaa

If I get separated from you,
I’ll be separated from my own self..

Kyonki tum hi ho
Ab tum hi ho
Zindagi, ab tum hi ho
Chain bhi, meraa dard bhi
Meri aashiqui ab tum hi ho

Because you alone are,
Now you only are,
life. You’re my life.
My peace, and my pain,
you alone are my love..

Teraa meraa rishtaa hai kaisaa
Ik pal door gawaaraa nahi
Tere liye har roz hain jeete
Tujh ko diyaa meraa waqt sabhi
Koi lamhaa meraa naa ho tere binaa
Har saans pe naam teraa

How’s this relationship of ours,
I don’t like distance of even a moment
Every day, I live for you
All my time is for you..
There shouldn’t be a moment of mine without you,
There is your name on every breath..

Tere liye hi jiyaa main
Khud ko jo yoon de diya hai
Teri wafaa ne mujh ko sambhaalaa
Saare ghamon ko dil se nikaala
Tere saath mera hai naseeb juDaa
Tujhe paa ke adhoora naa raha

For you, I lived
I have given myself (to you)
Your faith [actually means ‘my love for you’ here] took care of me
Took all the sorrows from (my) heart
With you my fate is attached,
Getting you, Nothing is incomplete (within me, I got completed)..

How was that was his first question after singing.

I was still in the shock of when and how did he get back his voice. He walked towards me reciting his feelings, The spirit of my life was touched by the rain drop of your concern called love. The word love would fall short to describe this longing feeling that I have when I never see you. My heart is filled with you, be with me, do not leave me
You are responsible for this change in me…yet you are acting innocent…is this right?

Is he really talking or someone is giving him voice over? That was my thought when he was standing in front of me.

He laughed loudly to give me an assurance that this was real.

When did u get your voice back? After u see your family? I asked him. He surprised me saying that he got his voice when I started behave weirdly by avoiding him.

What? That means it’s almost a week that he got his voice back. I was very upset with him for hiding this all this while.

Pragya…I wanted to tell you this as I have seen how much you desire to hear my voice. Not because how I sound but how I sing as I have observed how intently I lip sync to songs. I like whenever you observe me instead of paying attention to the songs. Do u know why I met with an accident? I left my house to fulfill my dreams of becoming a singer. I am always rushing to reach my dreams and goals so that’s how I rushed from here to Mumbai and in that rush I met with an accident over there.

I didn’t want to come back here when I couldn’t speak. My voice was my asset and when it was gone, I felt lonely….I felt dejected of losing my dreams but when I saw you… I think I heard you first when u were admitting me to get operated, I felt like hearing to you more as your voice was a bliss to hear. The moment u said u are lonely like me it made me decide to be with you for sometime.

But yes sometime was not enough to be with you as you made me stay with u more than expected. Whenever u left for work, loneliness will engulf me and I would wait for u sitting at the couch and looking at the door to be opened. And when u open the door to come in, my liveliness enhances! I will feel energized seeing you and hearing u say Hi Abhi!

I don’t know from which moment I fell in love but I don’t want any moments with you to be just a memory. I want this all along my life. I love to say this is just friendship between us.
When he said that my heart felt broken, Just Friendship between us?

As if he interpreted my feelings, he said but I hate to say this is not love Pragya….

I had mixed emotions, He too had feelings of love, friendship, loneliness, liveliness and everything that I faced being with him or maybe even more than what I feel.

Will you accept me forever? That was his next direct question. I had no second thoughts. I nodded my head with tears overflowing my eyes with happiness.

Then why are u not saying anything? He asked me with a childlike anger.

I didn’t expect your voice to be so….
So….? He asked. Your voice is very deep and lots of emotions also emerge from it.

He smiled and pulled me closer to him. I was looking around aware of his family being there even though it was late at night.

Can I ask you something? I asked him. Sure Pragya…He said. Why did u never talk all this while. I mean when u got your voice back then why did u never even talk to your family members? I asked with a perplexed look.

What he answered was the most unexpected. He said I wished to make u hear my voice first before them as you gave me another life to live.

I hugged him out of joy that I have a person now who considers me as an important part in his life. What else do I need?

That was how my life was filled with loneliness and liveliness from love. Yes now I still have feelings of loneliness when my love goes for overseas trips for concerts. Now he is a heart throb to all ladies. A rockstar he is with his mesmerizing voice. Being with him as his wife is the liveliness part of my life.

From a person just living with loneliness, getting liveliness is a luxury and that makes me to live a luxurious life with him.

THE END

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