Life without you (ISHQBAAZ OS) – By Priyadas

Hello everyone… This is Priya signed in with an os completely based on anika’s point of view and the current plot of Ishqbaaz.

I dont know how it will be but the idea came to mind so thought to type it down. I hope that you like it.

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The day is still fresh and I still feel the vibes when I had seen my bagad billa proposing me for marriage again with him and that too without any external force nor any deals but this time with so much love and expectation. But like everything is destined in my life I had to break his already weak heart into millions of pieces I guess. At that moment I could really see the faces near me looking at me with shock and disgust while some close faces were showing some other tension.
I could see the helplessness in omru’s eyes while I could sense badi ma… Opps sorry jhanvi aunty pleading me not to do what I was doing. Tia on the other hand was just looking at me blankly and pinky aunty the most selfish lady whom I have met in this world smiling on seeing her so called family breaking.

I felt pity on her as i could see her contentedly smiling but if she really wished shivay’s well being, why did she fail to notice the condition in which her so called son was in. Well she really needs a huge round of applause for her wonderful acting… I really think till now what mistake had I committed that had made her hate me to this extent.
While on one hand I could see the devilish side of shivay who was breaking off everything in anger because of my rude words but I could feel the pain which he was going through in real. Though he was behaving like a lion ready to pounce on his prey I could sense him withering with pain inside. His eyes were constantly looking at mine to just make sure that what he was seeing was not the real me. He knew that HIS ANIKA… (a small smile adorns my lips when I tell this) cannot be like this. He was requesting me to stop this acting and tell that whatever I was telling or even doing was the biggest ever lie and that was being done by me by getting or being forced.

I still remember the way I smiled inside me seeing myself getting puppeted just for the sake of someone’s greadiness and someone’s betterment. The moment when shivay announced in front of the whole media that he has nothing to do with me… No a small correction that is HE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS LADY all I could do was remember the moment when he had accepted me as his wife and above that me being his strength… right in front of this same media and same people and even surprisingly the same place.
The moment when I was being dragged to be thrown out of mansion I could feel the manly strength which shivay possessed while he held my hand. That manly possession was just because that someone had dared to tell bad about his family, his life’s first priority his brothers and most importantly his most loved mom. He dragged me out of the house and that moment I had seen a very unusual rage in his eyes and all I did was stumble and fall off at the main entrance of the OM. His words still echo my ears “never even dare to step inside this house again because if you do then you will not see the next sun rise again.” The door in front of me shut off with a huge thud breaking me into thousands of pieces. Khanna who was on the door came to my help but he could see me crying without tears, as there were no tears left in my eyes’ which can be made used for crying on my own fate. The moment I felt Khanna near me I got up and gave up a letter to him which I asked him to give to dadi without the notice of his broken boss to which he readily obliged but before he could ask something I started walking aimlessly as I really didn’t knew where to go. I had no house… no family… no relation nothing… All I had with me was a whole load of memories.

I walked aimlessly messing up with all the stuff which came in my way which was either dust or stones. I didn’t feel any pain because the pain which was there inside me on seeing my shivay devastated was more than any other pain which I went through. The day of our meet in temple, our fights, our pranks, our marriage, our hatred, our patching up, our new feelings, our pre marriage ceremonies, to our divorce that day was just flashing in front of my eyes. I just sat near a tree with a thud and looked at the infinity sky.
And now after months when I am here on this earth in the same city where he is all I can do is laugh at my being. The only support which I have now is sahil as he needs to be nourished and being a rental burden on Chanda as she was the only person whom I could share my pain and getting dependent on. Though in front of sahil I pretend to be normal he very well knew what is going on and how am I doing. Very now and then I get to know the development in my shivay’s relation of going to get engaged to one of the parallel business tycoon’s sister.
On hearing it I can feel me stabbing myself for hurting such a pure soul who dont even know his own lineage. The same time I feel happy that at least good times are coming in his life post my exit. I by mistake glanced the picture of my new sautan, which I can gladly say as my legal sautan as even if I sign thousands or crores of divorce notice my marriage with Shivay will not break, because I had not accepted him by my heart instead I had accepted him with my soul and removing a person from one’s soul can be hazardous as it can cost their life. I must agree my sautan is very good looking and even have the so called name,blood and lineage in her blood which ran across the veins of her fragile body. But apart from her looks I am glad that my tadibaaz bagad billa has moved on in his life and has decided to settle himself down.

These months were not easy for me to pass so as either one or the other day I would bump into someone of his family but luckily to my already ruined fate it blessed me this time by not letting me get in front of him. Most of the time I would crash into omru who would plead or do innumerable request to let them free of the vow which I have layed on them or either cry asking me to come back to the house as it was no more a house without me. The only happy thing that I knew from them was Om had forgiven gauri and Rudy had married bhavya. Apart from this fact that gauri was om’s wife other news that made me happy was that she was my little chutki… My own blood sister and my only family but I had refrained the orphanage officials from telling this to shivay and even anyone from mansion and even gauri. Because I knew if this truth will get revealed then I will also lose her forever as I feared that the so called loving mom of shivay will do something to drive my sister out of mansion for the mistake of being my sister. And after this truth whenever I see om I not only see a devar-bhabhi bond with him but also a sister in law bond with him. But at that time also all I cam do is laugh at my fate. Then jhanvi aunty or sometimes dadi and all they do is request me to forgive all the mistake that has been done by their family to me.
And lastly but not the end I am living a life of nothing again just for the sake of sahil because I want to grow him up and make him mature enough to stand and face his life without any problem that I had to face and all I know is once I get sahil a capable citizen the world will heave a sigh of relief as the biggest burden on it which is me will not remain on it for heavying it.
The only thing I wish in my life is that may shivay remain happy always and may the real face of his mom never open up in front of him and may he never learn that the person who values the blood,lineage and name the most in his life doesn’t even own it for himself in real and even that the duplicate of him which he considers is none other than his own blood brother his twin due to which his hearts condition is like this.
I know my life without shivay is nothing but I will have to live with his memories because as he says HIS ANIKA was never weak and for sahil and him will never be weak in the coming some more years ahead. A lone tear escape from my eyes thinking all this all-over again.

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So, done with the OS. I hope that I have not offended anyone by wrongly portraying any of the characters if so then do forgive me. If you like it the do comment as I would be glad to know your response for it.
Thanks for reading so far and have a nice day ahead. This is Priya signing off. Bye.