LONGING FOR….. BY DEESH ( CHAPTER 10)

The reddish pink sky indicated the arrival of dusk. It was another hectic day at the office. I had an important meeting today. And Ishaan had another important meeting at Mumbai. Both the meetings were important for the growth of the company. I was so stressed about them. Thank heavens! Everything went smooth. My meeting here was successful. I am waiting for Ishaan’s call anxiously to know about the consequence of that meeting right now. I had already messaged him about the success of the meeting here. My phone beeped. It was a message from Ishaan. Think about the devil and there he appears.

I read his message.

“Congo, duffer! A good news from my side too. We have won the deal! So, this certainly calls for a long drive celebration. Am boarding the flight tonight at 11. Will see you tomorrow! And how are you today? Have you guys sorted out things between you both? Hope you both did. And now, don’t be upset. I know that from yesterday, you were upset. Stay smiling and I’ll be there soon to fight with you. See ya!”

Ishaan. Even in his absence, he makes me feel good. His message did make me smile. But for one thing. Sorting out? Well, it has turned out into a complete mess now. I could still remember the previous day’s happenings. I had reacted very much harsh to HIM. Till yesterday, I have never spoke harshly with Harsha. But I don’t regret that now. He should certainly know how did I feel. I could remember his consolations and hugs after my sudden outburst. Argh! I closed my eyes in frustration. He had gone for shooting early in the morning, I guess. Coz, I haven’t seen him from morning. Well, that’s good in a way. Otherwise, I would have had a tough time in controlling my emotions in front of him. I shoved off his thoughts and concentrated on my work.

It was 9 p.m. when I finished my work and packed off my things. I took my car keys and walked downstairs to the car parking area. As I reached my car, I froze as my eyes caught the sight of whom I didn’t want to see at that moment. Harsha.

Though he was wearing a hood, I could sense that it was him, because of those shoes. I knew them.

What’s he doing here? Has his shooting ended this early? Usually, he returns by 11. Why should I care? I walked past him and was about to enter the car when he held my hand gently, stopping me.

“Harsha, this is not our home. Leave my hand.” I said softly.

” Today, let’s go home in my car. Come with me. Please!” His soft request slowly had its effect on my painful heart.

“No thanks, Harsha. I will go by myself in my car.” I politely declined his request. His request certainly had an effect on me. But, I will not be able to go along with him.

“Ananya, Please come along.” He said.

I denied. Gosh! What’s wrong with him? I am declining and he is coercing constantly.

Then, he grabbed my hand and made me sit in his car. He sat beside me and drove off. I looked at him, whose eyes were fixed onto the road. His face showed signs of distress. His eyes were swollen indicating his lack of sleep. His profession is spoiling his health! He looked so tired and worn out. Some where, deep inside, I felt bad looking at his condition. I should tell him to take a break and spend time for himself. But, how will I tell? Somehow, I should.

“I know am too handsome. Why are you checking out me like this?” His voice brought me to reality.

“Ummm.. Nothing.” I said and turned my head towards the window.

There was silence throughout the journey to home. My mind was fully occupied by random thoughts. Till now, he had never come to my office and picked me up like this. What has happened today?

“We’ve reached. If you don’t mind, you can step inside and then continue thinking” His mocking tone made me realise that we’ve reached home.

I ignored his talks and went inside. Mom had gone to sleep, I guess. I went to our room, got myself freshened and came downstairs. Hunger was at its peak. I went inside the kitchen. HE was sitting at the dining room. I don’t know if he had his dinner. Who am I to care for him? Krishna bai was also nowhere to be found. Where did she go? Then I picked a plate for myself, placed the food on it and sat on the chair. HE was also not there. Till now, he was here. Chuck it. I was about to shove a morsel into my mouth, when I heard HIS voice.

“Wait. Let’s have dinner together.” HIS voice shocked me.

Dinner TOGETHER? There’s something wrong with him today. He picks me up, asks me to have dinner together… Certainly, something is fishy.

“Didn’t you have your dinner till now?” I asked him.

He nodded his head in no.

“Sorry. I would like to have it alone.” I told him.

“Everyday, you have it alone. So for a change, let’s have together.” He said. How the hell did he know that everyday I have my dinner alone? I didn’t respond.

“Just a minute. I’ll join with you.” He said as he went inside the kitchen to bring a plate for him. I could hear a hell of noise coming from the kitchen. I knew that he would create a ruckus inside the kitchen for searching a plate. A small smile crept over my lips.

I fidgeted with my spoon till he sat beside me. He held the plate like he was holding a baby. He was walking dead slow. He is not used to all this. Earlier, either I or Krishna bai used to do all these for him.

“I am hungry” I said indirectly indicating him to sit down and start soon.

“Yeah.. Let’s start” He said as he sat down.

I started eating. I didn’t move my eyes from my plate. I could sense his gaze on me.

“I know that I’m beautiful. No need to prove that by checking out me like this.” I said coldly without looking at him.

“Copycat” I heard him muttering to himself. A smile was about to creep, but I controlled it.

“What kind of food would you like to have?” He asked me.

I looked at him. What’s the need of this question right now? I didn’t answer. I continued eating.

Then, I realised something. My outburst is the reason for his soft behavior and this over friendly side of his. Right! I don’t need his sympathy. My anger is slowly making its way into my nerves.

“Ananya, I am asking something.” He said.

“I think, it is not necessary to answer this now.” I said.

“Not necessary? What do you mean?” He asked me. I could sense his anger slowly rising. My anger has already risen.

“Please. I don’t need your sympathy. I had blurted out my feelings yesterday unable to bear it for so long. But, that doesn’t mean you can do all these out of sympathy. I don’t need it.” I said and walked from there.
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Sympathy? What does she mean? Does she mean that I am doing all these out of sympathy? Has she gone mad? My blood boiled as I heard her saying that. She walked from there immediately. I didn’t stop her. I left the plate on the table and went out.

I LOVE HER. I know that I had hurt her and the scars could not be vanished. But, I am trying to heal her wounds caused by me. I am trying my level best to mend my mistake. I can understand that she needs time to recover. But, her words have pierced straight into my heart.

“I don’t need your sympathy.” Her voice is echoing inside me again and again.

How shall I prove that I love her? Earlier, I was not able to realise her love. And now, she is not able to. Fate is playing a reckless game with me.

When I think deeply, I could understand that her words seemed true. When a person, who claims to be her HUSBAND, but never ever showed her the care, love of a husband, suddenly showers his care, it might seem like sympathy to her. Right!! But, I’ll surely make her understand that I have genuine feelings towards her. Definitely, I will.
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“How many times will I tell you that not to do all these? But you’re not ready to listen. So stubborn you’re, aren’t you? And could you please tell me where are we going now?” SHE was screeching nonstop beside me, while I was driving.

I like this. Usually, I self-drive when I need peace. But after experiencing a self-drive having her as a company, I am loving this more. It’s so fun to hear her ramblings and watch her gazing around. But her eyes, don’t convey her happiness. Of course, she is not happy. In fact, she is upset. That’s the reason, I am taking her out. I want to see her smiling face.

“I think it’s not necessary to answer this now.” I said as I winked at her.

She shrank her eyebrows and muttered,”Copycat!” making me smile.

“Here we are. Get down my dear lady.” I said.

“Why do you wear a hood? Couldn’t you come out as such?” She asked me.

“Well, even I like to come out normally. But, that would remain a distant dream. If I don’t, then I would be mobbed by my female fans. ” I said, winking at her as I got out. She glared.

I don’t wear a hood usually. Coz, I don’t hang out inside the city. I chill out in my farm house or outside the city. Today, I had to bring her here. This is one such special place in my life.

“What are we doing here? In a school?” She asked me as she walked beside me.

” I thought to join you here. What say?” I said as I let out a chuckle.

She gave me “You’re impossible!” look to me.

“Very funny!” She said as she flashed her teeth. I laughed.

Good. Slowly she’s coming to her normal self. I hope that she would become normal.

“Hello Harsha. How are you? You’ve totally forgotten us. Too bad!” The headmistress of the school told me as soon as we entered her cabin.

“Hello mam. How are you? How can I forget this place? How can I forget you?” I said.

“This is Ananya. My wife.” I introduced pointing HER.

“And Ananya, This is Mrs. Rao, the head mistress of MY school.” I introduced.

Both of them smiled at each other.

“Mam, may I?” I asked her.

“Yeah sure! Today is a holiday, So there are no children here except for the hostel students.” She said smiling. I smiled and nodded.

I held HER hand and dragged her along with me.

“Is this your school?” She asked me. Her tone indicated her shock. I nodded.

She looked at the children who were playing at the playground happily. Her eyes gleamed. This is what I wanted.

“You know harsha, I, Vidyut and Sandy used to play like them” She told me as she pointed to a boy and two girls who where playing.

I looked at her. She was talking to me about her childhood. She stopped talking suddenly. She might have realised that she is talking normally.

“Ananya, it’s okay. You can share your thoughts to me. Seems like your childhood had been so much of fun.” I told her as I smiled and held her hand. She smiled faintly.

“This is my classroom. Could you see that bench? That was my bench. See, I had engraved my name on it!” It was my turn to get excited. I told her excitedly, pointing my bench. I was talking so excitedly that I realised her looking at me fondly, very late. As soon as I saw her looking at me with a smile on her face, she hid her smile and pretended to see somewhere else.

“This is Ishaan’s classroom. You know what, when he was in eighth standard, he had a huge crush on his chemistry teacher. I would pull his leg then. It would be so much fun.” I said as I laughed.

She grinned. “So, what about you?” She asked me raising her eyebrow.

I chuckled. So, she wants to know about my crush.

“Well… It’s not worth saying.” I managed. Coz, I had a really bad experience.

She immediately scrunched her face and huffed.

“Your wish. It’s your personal matter. If you want you can share, or else, I don’t care.” She said.

Gosh!! I made her angry again. Just now, she was happy. Argh! It’s not like that I don’t like to share.

“Okay, I will tell you. But promise me that you won’t laugh.” I told her. She nodded like a kid.

“Well, During my tenth standard, I had a crush on one of my classmates.” I began as we walked to our car.

“Boy or a girl?” She asked me winking.

“Very funny!” I said annoyed. She laughed at me.

“Okay, continue!” She said.

“I used to follow her everywhere. I used to look at her from a distance. Then one day, her friend came to me and handed me a letter, telling me she had told her to give to me. I was so happy and I opened it. I was so happy then that she too liked me.” I stopped as I saw HER smile vanishing. I chuckled.

“Someone is getting jealous.” I said.

“Shut up! Nothing like that!” She said to me angrily.

I burst out laughing looking at her flushed face.

“Then?” She asked me eagerly.

“Next day, I went to meet her. Then I came to know that….” I stuttered.

“That…?” She asked me.

“She liked the other guy in our class whose name was Harsha as well.” I said, embarrassed.

As soon as I said that she burst into laughter. She laughed and laughed until she panted. I looked at her face, amused. My surroundings faded away, as I lost myself into her contagious laughter.

The sound of the children brought me back to reality. She was smiling widely at me. I glared at her angrily. In this case, fake anger obviously.

She chuckled looking at me again.

“Shall we go?” I asked her.

She nodded and got inside. I started the car. I was driving, when I noticed her looking at me.

“What happened Mrs.Harsha?” I asked her. I saw a small smile crawling over her lips as I said that. But she hid it immediately.

“Hmm… I don’t know what to say, Harsha. I don’t know why are you doing all these all of a sudden. But, I felt good today. I liked that trip to your school. Thank you,Harsha!” She said softly and let out a smile. I smiled back at her and placed my hand on hers.
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