ArEil, a must read OS [manmarziyan crack fic] Episode 1

Hi its Tanu again… well it’s my exam time now so I am on hiatus of writing so posting my old stories here which have been posted in some other site. After exam I will be back with new creativity. Still then enjoy this and keep laughing.

Genre: humour, friendship.
Warning: Read at you own risk.
Disclaimer: I owns nothing. …. I am just an innocent little girl and I am not responsible for your perverted mind.
Situation: ArDhika and NeSam are married and four of them are in a friendly relationship and both the couples are planning to go in honeymoon together in Shimla, Manali.

Radhika called her girlfriends, Sam and Kritika to her home because her husband would not be in home now and she has the whole home to enjoy some girly chat with her friends.
Sam- let’s call Neil too.
Radhika- no Sam.
Kritika- Neil is not a girl.
Sam- but there is no fun without Neil.
Rahika- yeah Sam Neil is fun but still he is a boy and if we join him in our girl’s talk he will only feel awkward or will tease us.
Sam- Neil never feels awkward and if he dare to tease us I will break his neck.
Kritika- -_-
Radhika- -_-
Kritika- but Sam you only said you wanna try Radhika’s new lingerie. Would you like to talk about lingerie and staff in front of boys?
Sam. But he is Neil, my best friend and husband. Hell, he even buy my sanitary napkin.
Kritika and Radhika- -_-
Kritika- well, that’s cute. But boss is your husband. We cannot talk about all those stuff in front of boss……..but if you so want, can I marry boss too?
Sam- shut up.
Radhika- woo jealous.
Sam- shut up Chasni.
They reached Radhika’s home and when they were about to open the door of the master bedroom they heard voices from behind the door.

Neil- quit whining Arjun, or I won’t help you.
Arjun- help? This isn’t help, Neil! You are torturing me.
Neil- oh I can’t believe the great Arjun Mehera whine so much.
Arjun- what do you think? Arjun Mehera doesn’t feel pain, idiot.
Neil- don’t call me idiot. Its only reserve for sam. Now just sit down, shut up and watch me do my work, trust me, I am a pro at this.

Radhika, Kritika and Sam looked at each other.
Girls in union- what are they doing together?????!!!!!!!!

There was a pause and then a thump.
Arjun- ouch! Neil! Not so hard!
Neil-Sorry. It’s bigger than I thought. I had some trouble lifting it.
Arjun- kiss it better.
Neil- what Arjun. I didn’t know you are so pansy.
Arjun- don’t give me Arjun theory Neil. Kiss it better. It’s very precious.
Neil- no.
Arjun- yes..
Neil- no.
Arjun- yes..
Neil- no.
Arjun- yes..
Neil- no.
Arjun- yessssssssssssssss.
Neil- fine! If it will make you shut up!
There was some sort of movement in the room.
Neil- are you happy now?
Arjun- hn
Neil- again turned it cold hearted bastard. You surely have multiple personality disorder symptoms.
Arjun- mind your own business.
Neil- no. right now I am handling your business so be grateful FOR THAT.

Radhika, Kritika and Sam were confuse as hell then and being young girls they just come to a very bad conclusion about the activities in the other room.
So reluctantly they all moved closer to the door so they could hear better.

Arjun- Neil, are you always this bossy. How your underlings tolerate you?
Neil- like I tolerate you! Have you ever seen yourself in mirror? I am way better boss than you can ever be. By the way you are the only one who complain. Nobody else complained this much.
Arjun- who else have you done this with?
Neil- Sam
Arjun- of course Sam.

Radhika and Kritika stare at Sam.
Sam- what? Don’t look at me like that. That idiot is my husband after all. By the way what the hell are they doing?
Radhika and Kritika-

Arjun- who else?
Neil- let me see … um… sometime my cousin brothers, 2 or 3 times my neighbour, he is a very good man.

Sam fainted
Radhika and kritika- sam!!!!!!

Neil- oh yeah Zubin and Teji too..

Kritika- Zubin? [Gasped]
Radhika- [whacked kritika] shhhhhhhhh!!!
Kritika- I feel like fainting.
Radhika- no you can’t faint. Sam already fainted and you can’t leave me alone to hear this …. This kalyug leela.
Sam got up.
Sam- what’s going on?
Kritika- oh.. Welcome back sam.

Ajun- wow Zubin and Teji too.
Neil- yeah, once Sam went on a trip with Mr. Khanna and I got bored so planned a small trip with guys and did this the night before we left for trip.

Kritika- wow… threesome.
Sam- what??? That idiot was cheating behind my back. I will kill him.
Sam processed to break the door but Radhika and Kritika held her from behind.
Radhika- Sam you just can go like that. Calm down.
Sam- calm down how can I calm down. He is my idiot, my husband.
Radhika- my husband is also behind the door with you …. Um… pro… experienced husband.
Crunch, crunch, crunch
Sam and Radhika looked at Kritika. She was sitting in nearby chair with popcorn in hand.
Kritika- what?!! I am enjoying it now.
Radhika and Sam’s sweat dropped animatedly.

Arjun- you mother know it?
Neil- I am an adult!
Arjun- realy?! An adult who runs around in chaddi.
Neil- chaddi is comfortable andyou don’t know what chaddi is to me?
Arjun- underwear?!
Neil- not just underwear! It’s the only piece of cloth which makes me comfortable.
Arjun- I know the feel, chaddi man, I know the feel.
Neil- shut up and my mom is proud of me. This is called human help. Social work you know.

Kritika- wow neil thinks doing it with guys is social work! Ne Sam you need to put leash on your husband.
Sam glared hard.

Neil- let’s just get on with this. I haven’t got all day.
Arjun- fine.
Neil- now you have to do what I say or it won’t work.
Arjun- whatever you say, you are the man.
Neil- I am glad you know where you stand … now hurry up and take it out. I can’t get to it where it is now and I don’t want to drop itand hurt you again.
There was a rustle of clothing.
Arjun- there. Are you happy now?
There was a pause.
Neil- not really.
Arjun- what the hell do you mean by that?
Neil- nothing! Let’s just keep going, ok? Now look, first I will take my hand and wrap it around like that.
Arjun- shit… what did you do that for?
Neil- it wasn’t straight! You can’t have it all rumpled! Everything will go wrinkly!
Arjun- it’s not wrinkly!… it just hasn’t been used in a while, that’s all..

Sam and Kritika looked accusingly at Radhika.
Radhika blushed.

Arjun- now just stop fooling around and get on with the job!
Neil- fine…. After everything is straightened out… you need to pull certain things around a bit.
Arjun- [groaning] I see what you mean
There is a silence.
Arjun- it’s not working properly.
Neil-in handling it ok, pineapple.
Arjun- I know but it’s still not working.
Neil- you have to be patient.
There was a pregnant pause.
Neil- how about we just skip this part and start pressing it all in.
Arjun- that’s sounds good to me.

Kritika- pressing it all in !!!!!!
Sam- that’s sounds….
Radhika- painful.

Neil- ok. Are you ready?
Arjun- yeah, why not.
Neil- so…we’ll just…
There were lots of movement.
Arjun- [grunting] it’s not working.
Neil- push down harder.
Arjun- I can’t… it’s too tight a fit.

Radhika and Sam fainted.
Kritika- sam! Radhika! Oh hell …. Whatever! Back to auditory porn.

Neil- it’s not my fault it isn’t loose enough.
Arjun- do you think we could stretch it?
There was a thoughtful pause.
Neil-I really don’t think so.
Arjun- well what else can we do, Neil?
Neil- I am not sure!
Arjun- should we go and get some help?
Neil- no… just keep pushing!
Arjun- I am trying.
Neil- you are not trying hard enough.
Arjun-I can’t try any harder.
Neil- what? You were supposed to be the strongest!….. well… hang on… if I sit on it like that…
Arjun- yes… its finally working!
Neil- I…. told…you…. I ….. was…. Good.
Arjun- you weren’t kidding… I see you are handier than Radhika.
Neil- chashni will never be good at this…… I think we should probably bounce a bit too.
Arjun- good idea.
Bounce noises ensued.

Kritika- oh my god!
Sam and Radhika came back to sense
Radhika- what happen?
Kritika- oh my god!
Sam- oh my god?
Radhika- oh my god!

Arjun- oh my god! Its nearly there
Neil- I… can see… it.
Arjun- just a little bit more….THERE!
There were panting.
Neil- thank god it’s shut.

Radhika and sam-????
Kritika- shut?

Arjun sighed as he and Neil sat on Arjun’s suitcase.
Neil- not even grandpa’s was as hard as this.
Arjun- thanks
Neil- hey, you are my buddy hah! … so … packed up ready to go to your honeeeeyyymoon.
Arjun- hey, you heard that?
Neil- it’s coming from under the bed.
They look down under the bed the find a weird being under the bed.
Neil- hey who are you?
Weird being- oh… hi I am Tanu. Don’t mind me. Carry on. I am just a passer-by. By they way good luck for you honeymoon guys. You will need it. You wives may get quite handful now………. And yeah, Neil.. sometime help me with packing also na.
ArEil in union- get the hell out of here. Don’t disturb ArEil moment again.
Tanu- sorrrrrrrrrry!!!!!!!