Chalte Chalte – Vani And Avneil FF (07. Shadows of the past)

“Why are you here?”

Veeranshu turned around to locate the source of the question. It was a voice he could identify anywhere but what he couldn’t identify was the cold undertone it held. His eyes finally landed on the source of the voice, Bani.

She was standing with another woman who looked around his mother’s age and it made him even more curious about the coldness Bani was displaying. She was always so soft and sweet to everyone. There was no way she would behave rudely to an elder lady.

“Just leave. I dont want to see you,” She said looking away from the other lady. Veeranshu couldn’t help but wonder who the lady was and what had she done to get that cold shoulder from Bani?

“Beta-” The lady started but was interrupted by Bani.

“Don’t call me that. You lost that right years ago when you changed your priorities. Neither do I need you in my life, nor does Papa. So just leave.”

“Bani, atleast-“

“Leave.”

Sensing from her voice that she was on the verge of tears, Veeranshu decided to intervene. This was a park. If it was a private matter they probably shouldn’t have chosen this place.

“Excuse me? Is everything okay here?” Veeranshu asked walking towards them.

Bani looked at him in surprise and quickly looked away to hide the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes.

“Oh, so you’ve brought a guy with you. You’re doing all this and yet you despise me for doing the same thing? What a hypocrite! So this is what your Papa has taught you?” The lady said incredulously.

“What are you talking about, ma’am? And how can you question her character? If only you knew her! I was walking by-” Veeranshu started to defend but Bani held up her palm infront of him asking him to stop.

“It’s none of your business. You have no right to question me or my father’s upbringing because you were clearly out of the picture. Maybe even setting an example for me to follow. But I’m glad Papa was the one who brought me up. At least he didn’t abandon me when I needed him the most. He never made me feel your absence. He did whatever  he could, to play both roles! Now if you’re done with your drama, then please go away from me!” Bani said furiously to the lady.

“Only your words are great, but your actions are disgusting!” The lady said with her voice full of venom.

“Don’t you dare raise a finger at her character!” Veeranshu said firmly, looking right into the lady’s eyes. “You clearly don’t know a thing about her!”

“How dare you speak to me with that tone?” The lady exclaimed furiously.

“Well, I don’t think you deserve another tone. Specially one that is gentle or sweet,”

“You will realise my words one day, and that day you’ll be guilty, Bani!” The lady said before walking away.

“Bani-” Veeranshu called out to her but was interrupted by her.

“Please leave me alone, Veeranshu,” Bani said not meeting his eyes. She didn’t want him to see her in this condition.

“Are you okay? You dont seem-“

“Please, just let me be,” She said turning away. The tears she had managed to control began to fall with no mercy.

Unable to see her face and knowing well that she was in pain, Veeranshu couldn’t stand still. He immediately went infront of her and slowly held her shoulders, “Bani,” He called her name firmly, “Please don’t cry-“

“Kya farak padta hain tumhein?” Bani yelled at Veeranshu, pushing him away from her. Her eyes spoke unspoken words, ones that contained raw pain and anger. “If I live, or die, how does it matter to you?! Stop interfering in my life specially when I’m a no one to you! I know to take care of myself, I don’t need you to protect me around.” Cause you’d leave in the end and my heart would break… she wanted to say but chose not to.

To say that Veeranshu was shocked would have been an understatement. Okay, she may not reciprocate his feelings but he did think she considered him as her friend. So why did she think she was a no one to him?

Little did he know that his behaviour at the party night had got her thinking up things and little did she know that her innocent touches that might while aiding him were making it hard for him to not confess his feelings.

However he stayed quite looking into her eyes which seemed so vulnerable to him. Her eyes were on the verge of spilling tears. He knew it was her pain that was flowing out and not any butter feeling a towards him.

“Just leave me alone! You don’t have to pretend you care!” She said wiping away the one tear that managed to roll down her cheeks despite her efforts to contain it. “Just go!”

“Bani…” he called out to her, his heart breaking into a million piece seeing her in this condition. “Please just-“

“Just leave Veeranshu!” She snapped.

“No, I can’t leave you in this condition,” He stated firmly. “And I’m not pretending anything.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“I didn’t ask you not to. You take care of yourself. But I’m not leaving you until I am sure you’re okay.” He declared.

“I don’t need you to-“

“You may not need me Bani, but I can’t leave you like this.” Veeranshu said, his voice leaving no room for further argument.

“I don’t want to talk to anyone right now, I just want to be left alone, please.” She said.

“I didn’t ask you to talk, Bani. I didn’t ask you for anything. I’m just telling you that I can’t leave you alone, not in this condition. So whatever you wish to do, you can but I’m going to stay. Right here. Until I’m sure that you’re okay,” He stated making her look at him softly. “And you matter,” He said meeting her gaze, “More than you can even think. You were the one who brightned up my days when I got fractured and was not able to play guitar. Do you know how hard it was for me? But Bani, you showed me patience and hope. Bani, you matter a lot. Maybe your absence wouldn’t matter to this world, but my world would be empty without you in it. And you know what? I don’t have to pretend I care, because I do care.”

The pain she was feeling a moment ago was now a feeling completly oblivious to her. She looked on at him as her heart started to race hearing his words. Why did he have to say such things and give her heart a hope that he too feels the same way for her?

“So, don’t ask again how it would matter to me if something happens to you.” Veeranshu said.

They sat there in silence for a long while until Bani decided to speak, “She was my mom.”

Veeranshu looked at her in surprise, he wasn’t expecting her to open up.

“She left me and my dad when I was 10. For some other man. She never even cared to look back. I used to wonder sometimes if she knew she had a daughter. I used to wish she called me. You know, on my birthdays I would wait for her to ring me up once, but she never did.” She continued, her tears streaming down her cheeks, the pain still so fresh. “When my classmates used to talk about their mothers I used to wish even I had one. Papa always tried his best to fulfill both roles, but it happens right? That none can take a mother’s place.”

Veeranshu looked at her softly, his heart going out for her. He wanted to wipe away her tears, hug her and give her comfort.

“She never came when I needed her. She never came when Papa needed her, she was never there with us when we needed her the most. Then why did she come after all these years? I’ve seen it, Veeranshu, I’ve seen my Papa suffer. I’ve seen the world taunt him, I’ve seen him stand strong infront of me and then go and cry in a corner. You know, I used to wake up in the middle of the night and find him cry talking to her photo, asking her why she left him. Tab toh woh nahi aayi, Veeranshu, toh ab kyun aayi hain? Kyun? Itne saal unhe humari koi fikr nahi thi, toh ab kaha se aagai? Unki wajah se apni Papa ko phirse tadapte hue nahi dekh sakti main!” Bani stated shaking her head vigorously as the tears continued flowed without any mercy. “No…I…won’t let that…happen..”

“Shhh..” Veeranshu whispered holding her close to his heart. He wrapped his arms around her back and gently caressed her hair. “Nothing bad will happen ok? Uncle is strong, Bani. I’m sure he’ll not fall weak.” He assured her.

Bani felt warmth engulf her into its arms as Veeranshu hugged her.

“And you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. Trust me, even I envy your patience and strength,” Veeranshu said with a giggle. “Besides, she didn’t deserve your love, Bani.”

It was only after a while that they realised the position they had been in. They moved away from eachother and looked away feeling awkward.

“I’m…sorry..” Bani whispered.

“No, it’s nothing to be sorry about. How are you feeling now?”

“Thank you for listening to me, I feel better now.” She replied with a smile.