CHUDAILBAAZ (EPISODE-2)

Ok so here comes the next part of the history creating ff. peeps all the chudails are overwhelmed by the comments of yours’ on the previous part so they are expecting to get more comments this time. So please peeps don’t let them down or else they will show up on your nightmares.

EPISODE-2
Sutlu sat in her regal position on the sofa, not knowing that Daksh’s dog just did pee on it. She opened her phone and started watching videos on YouTube using her free Jio network.Her first video was a demonstration on ‘How to Become a Maid’. She watched closely as the woman showed how to do jhaadu-pochha, bartan and kapde She got horrified to see the drab fashion sense of the lady. Mrs. Kapoor came from behind.

Sutlu: mom….
mrs. Kapoor: Arrey beta Sutlu? Kya hua?
(arrey sutlu? What happened?)

Sutlu: Mom, you see the clothes of this maid? Just look at the sari! Horrible!

mrs. Kapoor: Par ye to wahi hai jo Maine kal Sunday bazaar mein 600 ki 2 li thi!
(but this is that type of saree which I bought 2 pieces yesterday from Sunday market by rs 600)

Sutlu: What?! 600 ki 2? Oh My God! Kahan se? Kab? Aur mujhe kyu nahi bataya? Aur ek minute. Aapke paas 600 rupay Kahan se aaye?
(what? 2 of 600? Oh my god.. from where, when? And why didn’t you tell me? And 1 minute from where did you get rs 600?)

Mrs. Kapoor: wo khanna ji se udhaar liye the…
(I took a loan of 600 from khanna ji)

Sutlu: kissse..?? khanna ji se..?? wo kyun dega aapko paise
(from whom? From khannaji? Why will he give you money?)

Mrs. Kapoor: wo bahut dayalu hai maine bahut request karke manga to usne de diye.
(he is very knd I just asked him and requested him and he gave me)

Sutlu: ok fine… but mujhe salary milte hi use lauta denge
(ok fine… but after I get my salary you will pay him back)

Mrs. Kapoor: waahhh DBO ki sabse bari villain ka self respect bhi hai?
(wow… the great villain of DBO also has self respect?)

Sutlu: ok fine but mai aise saari nhi pahnungi… after all I’m the most stylish woman and agar mai kaamwaali bai banker gayi to wo log mujhe pahchan jayenge
(ok fine but I won’t wear these types of dresses…. after all I’m the most stylish woman… and if I go like this maid then surely they will identify me)

Mrs. Kapoor: to phir?
(then?)

Sutlu: Don’t worry Mom. Mere paas idea hai.
(don’t worry mom I have idea with me)

mrs. Kapoor: Idea to bekaar hai. Jio lele, free ka hai!
(idea is not so good now a days. Take jio it’s free also)

sutlu: MOM!!!!

Mrs. Kapoor: what’s the idea?

Sutlu: chulbul jaise ghusa tha oberoi mansion me mai bhi aise ghusungi.
(the way chulbul entered the oberoi mansion I’ll enter the sam way)

Mrs. Kapoor: matlab ladka ban kar
(you mean in the get up of a guy)

Sutlu: haan… tabhi wo log mujhe servant bana kar rakhenge
(yeah… then only they would accept me as their servant)

Mrs. Kapoor: to theek hai tu ladkon ke kapde khareed kar laa…
(fine then… just go get get the clothes of a guy)

Sutlu: par paise??
(but money..??)

Mrs. Kapoor: I don’t know

Sutlu: ok wait…

Sutlu broke her piggy bank and took out 500 rupees. Our sutlu was in the local Sunday market, looking for apt clothes for her new job.

Sutlu: Ye kitne ka diya?
(how much does it costs?)

Sutlu asked as she held up the jeans.

shopkeeper: Madam hai to 200 ki.
(madam it’s of 200)

sutlu: Sasta lagao
(hey say some cheap price)

Shopkeeper: Ab isse sasta kya hoga madamji?
(now how can it be cheaper than this madamji?)

sutlu (widening her eyes): Svetlana Naam hai mera!
(my name is Svetlana)

Suddenly, a fly, which was roaming around saw those huge brown pools of her eyes and mistaking them for gobar, went inside. Sutlu screamed,stumbled back and so, fell in the gutter behind. And with the splash of dirty water the jeans went dirty.

Shopkeeper: Madamji ab to ye aapko hi Lena padega. Wo bhi 200 ka
(madam ji now you only have to take this of 200 only)

The scene shifts to oberoi mansion where ssutlu enters in her oh sorry his new get up.

Ramesh (a servant): Saab, Chulbul to Gauri Bhaabhi Nikla nhi nhi nikli. Isliye humne Naya servant rakha hai

Om: ok bring him inside… waise is he a boy?

Ramesh: haan saab rukiye mai use naam puchta hu
(yes sir wait let me ask his name)

Ramesh went out called the new servant in and asked his name

Ramesh: . Kya Naam hai be tera?
(what’s your name?)

Sutllu: Sutlu!,Ji Saab. Sutlu.

Omkara looked at the man in front of him.

Om: Sutlu, what kind of name is this?

Sutlu wore a loose sweatshirt and jeans and had a beard. But something was wrong.

om: Ye tere lips Ko kya hua?
(now what happened to your lips?)

stlu: woo……….maine….matlab, mujhe madhu makhhi kaat gayi!
(actually…woo…I mean, bee has bitten me)

om: Achha, dava lagaye?
(oh… you applied medicine?)

sutlu: Ji ye to bachpan mein hua tha. Tabse aise hi hai.
(actually it happened at my childhood and from that time it’s like this only)

Om: what bachpan se aise hi hai?
(what.. from your childhood it’s like that?)

Sutlu: haan saab
(yes sir)

Om: ok whatever…Okay. Achha suno Ramesh, isko saara kaam samjha do. Aur Haan, please, mera washroom saaf karwa do.
(ok whatever… listen ramesh, make him understand about every work. And yaa please clean my washroom)

ramesh: Haan Saab, theek hai.
(ok sir…)

om: Okay then.

Omkara went away. Sutlu, yes, our dear own Svetlana, watches Omkara walk away. Ramesh turns to her oh sorry him.

Ramesh: Haan to, Khaana banana aata hai?
(yaa.. then do you know cooking?)

sutlu: Nahi.
(no)

ramesh: ohh, cleaning?

sutlu: Haan, wo ho jayega
(yaa that I can do)

ramesh: Theek hai, tu Sir ka toilet saaf kar de!”
(ok fine, then you clean sir’s toilet)

sutlu: Kya?
(what?)

The scene shifts to mrs. Kapoor’s house.

Roop: aaee.. meri kappuu… meri janeman.. meri dil rooba
(aaee… my kappuu… my jaaneman… my darling…)

Roop then places a hard kiss on kappu’s (mrs. Kapoor) cheek

Kappu: chor ri meri sundarriii…
(leave me my beauty queen)

Roop leaves her.

Roop: par mai roop hu..
(but I’m roop)

Kappu: haan.. mujhe pata hai.. par sundar jo hota hai usika to roop hota hai to isliye sundari kaha
(yaa I know… but the people who are beautiful they only has roop (beauty) right)

Roop: iska mtlab tum mujhe sundar kah rahi ho?
(that means you are saying that I’m beautiful)

Kappu: nahi meri janeman sundar to hogi meri jootii..
(no my love. Beautiful is my new shoe)

Roop: kappuu…

Kappuu: ab kaam ki baat Karen?
(now let’s talk about something worthy)

Roop: haan batao..
(yaa say)

Meanwhile daksh comes in and starts crying.

Daksh: sutlu ki maa….. waahhhhh… wwwwaaaa…
(sutlu’s mom…… waahhhhh… wwwwaaaa…)

Kappu: phir se sutlu ki maa?… chor bata kya hua?
(again sutlu’s mom? Ok leave say what happened?)

Daksh: wo mai cheetiyon ki dangal dekh raha tha…
(actually I was watching at the dangal of ants…)

Kappuu: kya cheetiyon ki dangal??
(what ants dangal??)

Daksh: haan waha par cheetiyon ka dangal chal raha tha (pointing to the window)
(yaa the dangal of ants are going over there (pointing towards the window))

Kappu: phir kya hua?
(then what happened??)

Daksh: phir mai jo cheeti ko support kar raha tha wo dusri cheeti ko kiss karke aage badh gaya….
(then the ant hom I was supporting kissed his opponent ant and walked away)

Roop: waah direct dangal se kiss… kya combination hai..
(wow… from dangal direct to kiss… nice combination)

Daksh: ye budhiya aunty kaun hai?
(who is this old woman?)

Roop: excuse me I’m roop

Daksh: maine aapke roop ke bare me nhi pucha… maine aapka naam pucha hai
(I have not asked you about your roop I just asked your name)

Roop: haan wahi to bata rhi hu ki mera naam roop hai
(yaa I’m telling that only… my name is roop)

Daksh: phir se roop… arre aapka naam
(again roop…….. arre what’s your name?)

Roop: tu chup karega… agar nhi kiya to mai Shivay sisso’s and anika sisso’s ke clubs ke members ko bula kar laungi…
(will you shut your mouth……… and if not I’ll call the members of Shivay sisso’s and anika sisso’s club)

Daksh: ye log kaun hai?
(who are they?)

Roop: ye log tumhare pyaare Shivay bhaiyaa and anika bhabhi ke supporters hai agar tune kuch ulta seedha kaha to teri to khair nhi
(they are the supporters of lovely Shivay bro and anika sister-in-law… and if you do something wrong then you are gone)

Daksh again starts to cry.

Daksh: anika meri bhabhi nhi hai…
(anika is not my sister-in-law)

Kappu: aye haye abhi bhi anika ke sapne dekh raha hai…
(aye haye still now you are dreaming about anika)

Daksh: mai so nhi raha jo sapne dekhunga..
(I’m not sleeping that I’ll watch a dream)

Roop: ok theek hai chup.
(ok now shut up)

Daksh shuts his mouth. Roop and kappu decides to go to oberoi mansion along with daksh to kill shivika at night.

AT NIGHT

Anika was jumping on the bed and was about to fall. Shivay comes there and holds her. They share an intense eye lock

Shivay: anika….

Anika: hmm…

Shivay: tumhe nhi lagta tum aaj kal thora zyada kha rhi ho?
(you don’t feel you are eating too much these days?)

Anika: kyun?
(why?)

Shivay: bhaari ho gayi ho mera matlab… moti fatso ho gayi ho…
(you became weighty….i mean you became fatso)

Anika: aapki himmat kaise hui mujhe moti bulane ki?
(how dare you to call me fatso?)

Shivay: ab ho gayi ho to maan bhi lo… dekho tumhe uthaya hai to mere saans phul rahe hai
(now you became that so just accept it…… see I put you up and my breathing rate increased)

Anika: haaawww… kahin aapko astha to nhi ho gaya?
(haaawwwww…….. you are not suffering from astha na?)

Shivay: astha?

Anika: haan wo jo hota hai na.. jisme saans phulta hai wo
(ya that……. Are that in which the breathing rate increases)

Shivay: asthma… asthma kyun hoga mujhe
(asthma……… why will I suffer from asthma?)

Shivay leaves his hand and anika falls down on the floor. Anika gets up and looks at Shivay very angrily.

Shivay: kya hua?
(what happened?)

Anika: duniya hil gayi aapne ek moti ko jo dharaam se phenk diya..
(the world shook as you threw me on the floor)

Shivay (pointing towards the floor): haan dekho ye dekho floor hil gaya
(yaa see… seriously the floor also shook)

Anika: bagad billa kahinke
(bagad billa)

Shivay instantly hugs anika to cool her down and and rubs his face to anika’s face.

Anika: uuurrrgggghhh….

Shivay: kya hua meri moti ko… mera matlab meri biwi ko…
(what happened to my fatso… oh I mean to my wife?)

Anika: aapke ye mahan shakal par ye jo nukile se daari hai inki to mai oh my maataa kar dungi
(hey… I will do oh my maataa of your piercing beard)

Shivay: nhi darling isi look ki wajah se to tum pati ho…
(no darling for this look only you got impressed)

Anika: itna bhav mat khaiye.. shivika club ko sharminda kar diya… favourite pati to ban nhi paaye ab chup ho jaiye
(oh don’t be like you are the king… you made shivika club ashamed by not winning the favourite pati award…….. so you should shut your mouth now)

Shivay: achha tum jaise favourite patni ban paayi ho
(yaa as if you became favourite patni)

Anika: wo to aapko nhi mila isliye maine mera wala bhi chor diya..
(actually you did not get so I also left it)

Shivay: haan bari aayi chorne waali
(yaa… as a big leaving master came..)

Anika: aapne zyada kaha to mai aapko chor dungi…
(if you say more then I’ll leave you)

Shivay: tum nakhre-noor jahan ke kahin aur dikhana bagad billi
(you show this nakhre-noor jahan ke of yours anywhere else bagad billi)

Anika: ohh ye mera dialogue tha…. Script writers se kah dungi ki aap mere dialogues chura rahe ho
(ohhh these dialogues are mine… I will tell to script writers that you are stealing my dialogues)

Shivay: theek hai meri maa shaant ho jaa bacchaa shaant ho jaa.
(ok fine my mother be cool my child be cool)

Anika: aap pahle decide karo maa yaa bachha
(at first you decide mom or child)

Shivay: ok theek hai kuch nahi and ab koi jhagda nhi…
(ok fine nothing and no fighting now)

Shivay hugs anika tightly and romantically.

Anika: Shivay aapko mai Gillette ka razor and yardlay ka shaving cream gift karungi aap please apna ye jo muh hai na saaf karke aanaa….. romance ke time par seriously bahut chubhte hai…
(Shivay I’ll gift you a Gillette razor and yardlay shaving cream to clean up your face……… at the time of romance seriously your beard pricks)

Shivay: ok de dena ab sone chale??
(ok fine… now let’s go and sleep?)

Shivika went to sleep but pinky keeps on peeping at their room through the pool side window. Nyantara comes there and sees pinky peeping into their room.

Nayantara: oye pinky ponky dinky donkey… kya kar rahi hai re tu idhar?
(oye pinky ponky dinky donkey what are you doing there?)

Pinky: routine jaasosi

Nayantara: wo kya hota hai?
(what’s that?)

Pinky: arre jaasoosi kar rhi hu… har roz karti hu isliye iska naam maine routine jaasoosi rakh diya hai
(arre I’m keeping an eye on them…. I do it every day so I named it as routine jaasoosi..)

Nayantara: par abhi to wo log so gaye to???
(but they already slept then???)

Pinky: haye re meri eyestars… ye log shivika hai.. ye to samajh… international Jodi ke winners…
(oh my eyestars… they are shivika… understand that… the international Jodi awards winner)

Nayantara:to phir mai bhi dekhungi andar…
(then I’ll also peep inside)

Pinky: kyun re mere bête ne naachne ke kya paise diye tu to uss par hi chadh gayii
(why?? My son paid you for your dance and you just climbed up on him?)

Nayantara: nhii… aapko galat sapna aayaa hoga agar mai uss par chadhti to wo abhi tak zinda nhi bachta..
(nooo… you watched a wrong dream….. if I would have climbed up on him then he would have died)

Pinky: oyee.. aise koi bolta hai.. tere muh pe kire pare
(oyyeee… don’t say like that…. May your mouth get’s filled by insects)

Nayantara: aur tere muh me hare k kire ki potty pare
(and in your mouth may the potty of those insects get’s filled)

Pinky: oye tu jaati hai yahan se yaa nhi
(oyee are you going from here or not?)

Nayantara: nhi jaungi tu kya kar legi bo
(if I won’t go then what will you do say)

Pinky: mai Shivay ko bulaungi…
(I will call Shivay…)

Nayantara: bula… phir mai to use aur zyada araam se dekh paungi… haaye mera Shivay raja..
(call him…. Then I’ll be able to see him more clearly and closely… haaye my Shivay raja)

Pinky: bas kar… achha theek hai ek kaam karte hai tujhe Shivay ko dekhna hai na to hum dono yahan par baithkar jasoosi karte hai… mai 2 ghante jaagoongi phir tu 2 ghante jag janaa
(ok now stop it… ok fine let’s do one thing you want to see Shivay na? then we two will sit here and keep an eye over them… at first I’ll remain awake for 2 hours and then it will be your turn to stay awake)

Nayantara: theek hai par iske double paise lagenge..
(ok fine… but it will cost double)

Pinky: theek hai le lena… ab tu so mai jaagti hu.
(ok take it later… now you sleep I’m remaining awake)

Nayantara slept off and Pinky remained awake peeping into shivika’s room.

PRECAP- WAIT AND WATCH…… OH MY MAATAA BEGINS

This part also done. People you all can also shower your ideas to bash these chudails. Hmmm.. done now a credit giving ceremony.
CREDIT FOR THE OMLU PART- BELA
CREDIT FOR CONVERTING ASTHMA TO ASTHA- VISHAKHA AND HER SPECIAL AUTO CORRECT PROBLEM
CREDIT FOR ANTS DANGAL- NILASH