A Dark Night: (Kriyam OS)

Some footsteps.

The crackle of thunder.

Some more footsteps.

A deep sigh.

Sayyam raised his head from where they were perched on his hands, to look at the person who’d just sat down next to him on the bench.

“Why are you out here?” Krishna spoke up, her voice barely raised above a whisper.

Sayyam exhaled slowly, momentarily closing his eyes, and angled himself away from her. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“That’s not for you to decide,” Krishna pouted, trying her best to look stern.

Sayyam glanced at her face and his lips curled up on impulse. She was so perfect. How could anyone be this kind, this forgiving? How was it that she chose to see the best in everything – the best in him? He’d gotten married to her forcefully, he’d practically ruined her life. How could she claim to love him?

“Sayyam,” Krishna whispered, taking his hand in her own.

Sayyam slipped out of her grasp, “Krishna, why don’t you understand-”

“Understand what Sayyam? Understand what?” her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“What do you want?” He shook his head, not able to comprehend the reason she was doing this.

“I want us!” Krishna tilted her head to the side, so she could get a clearer view of her husband’s face. So many emotions leaped across his eyes, like flames. The self-conflict he was going through was so obvious, but Krishna failed to understand what was wrong. She couldn’t help but ask herself where she’d messed up.

“Why are you shutting me out Sayyam, why are you so scared of letting yourself love?” she questioned desperately. She needed answers, this couldn’t go on anymore.

“I’m not scared of loving you Krishna!” Sayyam faced her, his eyes wide, “Not anymore.” his voice faded away, blending in with the echo of the thunder in the distance.

“Then why, why is there this distance between us?” The question hung in the air for a while. They both looked at each other with bated breath, neither one ready to break the silence. Lightning flashed overhead.

“I’m scared Krishna,” Sayyam whispered faintly, “I’m scared of being alone and I’m scared of being with someone only to disappoint them,” his voice steadily escalated, “I’m scared of the silence, and I’m scared of all the voices in my head. I’m scared of the darkness, but I’m scared of the light too; scared that it’s too pure for me.” His voice died down, and he spoke so softly, that Krishna had to strain her ears to hear what he said next.

“I’m scared that I’m too broken to deserve to be loved, I’m scared that I won’t be able to tell you I love you, or love you the way you expect me to. I’m scared Krishna, I admit it, I’m scared.” Sayyam leaned back, so his face was turned up to the sky and he closed his eyes in defeat.

Krishna took hold of his hand, intertwining her fingers through his. She took in a deep shuddering breath. Sayyam had always put on such a brave facade, that she never could’ve guessed the reason behind why he was always hesitant to get close to her.

“I don’t need cheesy ‘I love yous’, just hold my hand and tell me ‘I’m here for you'”

“But Krish-”

“Sayyam,” she gave him an understanding smile, squeezing his hand gently. “I trust you, and you don’t have to prove your love to me, because I know that you’ll always be there for me, forever.”

“What if forever isn’t enough?”

“Then what about forever and a day,” Krishna bit her lip playfully, lightening the atmosphere around them.

“Forever and a day,” Sayyam repeated, his lips quirking up. She always had this effect on him, and he knew he’d given up that power to her a long time ago. She was the only one who could rescue him from the darkest of the depths, she was a glimmer of hope in his world that knew nothing but darkness.

He had always held himself back, knowing that he would never be able to forgive himself if she got hurt because of him; worried that he would taint her or destroy that fire in her soul.

He’d been wrong.

If anything, she brought out the best in him. She rescued him from his own demons. She made him want to be a better person. For her.

Lightning flashed, and Krishna watched as Sayyam’s face was illuminated. For a split second, he was all she saw against the dark night background; and it was then that she knew she wanted him. She wanted to be by his side always. She wanted to be there at his strongest and at his weakest, at his best and his worst. She wanted to be there to pick up the pieces when he felt broken beyond repair. She needed him too. She needed him to bring out the strongest parts of her. She needed him to enlighten her, so that she was no longer the naive girl she felt she was.

She leaned forward, inching closer and closer until finally, her lips brushed against his, light as a feather, almost as if it hadn’t happened at all.
After the initial shock, Sayyam glimpsed up into her dark amber eyes; and he was finally able to understand that look in her eyes. It was a look he received from her every single time they looked to each other, except he hadn’t been able to recognize it for what it was until that moment.

A look of complete and total trust.

And that’s why, for that moment, he gave in. He ignored every thought he ever had that what he was doing, what he was pushing for, was wrong. This wasn’t about feeling vulnerable or weak. At that moment, all that mattered was how they felt about each other.

They reached for each other at the same time, their lips locked in a passion-filled embrace. Krishna’s hands travelled from the collar of his shirt to his messy dark hair, his ran down her waist to her hips.

Thunder rumbled in the distance and a downpour started.

Every touch sent electricity coursing through their bodies. The world around them seemed to melt away, and for the first time in ages, He wasn’t the son of a murderer. He didn’t feel like an orphan. He was just a regular guy, kissing the girl he was madly in love with.

Krishna leaned in and tugged him closer. She had never felt like this before, it was a new feeling. She felt his arms wrap around her and she smiled into the kiss. And for that moment, she was just an ordinary girl who’d fallen head over heels for a regular guy.

Sayyam broke away gently and let out a breathy chuckle, his eyes warm. His love for her did nothing but intensify the longer he gazed into her eyes. He laced his fingers through hers and stood up, pulling her closer to his chest. She stumbled into him laughing softly,

“Sayyam, it’s raining, we’re drenched!”

“I know,” his eyes crinkled at the corners and he tucked a wet strand of hair behind her ear.

She closed her eyes, stepping closer to him, only to trip over a twig and land in his arms. She bit her lip cutely, looking down.

“How often do you fall?”

Startled, she looked up at him, wondering if he was joking, but his face was dead serious. “I, uh-” she started, unsure how to respond.

“Whenever I see you, you’re falling here and there” he smirked. “Girnewali”

She pouted cutely, her cheeks turning red in embarrassment, “It’s not my fault I fall every time you look at me” she retorted, “Why did you catch me?

Sayyam set her upright and pulled her closer to him, “I’ll always be there you catch you, whether you ask for it or not. I’ll be there for you, for forever and a day.”
Krishna smiled, looking up at him, and gasped quietly as something behind him caught her attention. Sayyam followed her gaze, watching the star-filled sky.

“A shooting star!” she whispered in astonishment. Sayyam glanced at Krishna; her eyes were lit up in joy.

“What did you wish for?” He asked, an eyebrow raised playfully.

Krishna turned to him and held on to his arm, saying something that warmed his heart.

“Us.” she leaned her head against his shoulder, “I wished for us; for forever and a day.”

*****