Part 15.
The confession.
I started to spend more time in college alone either in library in drama work shop. That evening I heard thunder in the sky. Cold wind blow and touch my face. It is the first rain of the year and the drizzling started very soon. Each raindrop thud against the ground and so did my pain. I don’t run for shade, but open up my arms and embrace every drop…. The ground soaked itself with every minute that sizzled, I want to soak myself. As the trees shed away their weariness and cleansed themselves, I want to shed my tears without anyone noticing. I stood under the gulmohar, with the red flower carpet under my feet. Soaked in rain and pain… And with the first rain of the year comes Sameer….
Sameer: Naina….
Me: Sameer….
I turned to look at him. I was soaked too… He was coming towards me. Water drops falling from his hair and face. I waked towards him… We both stand in the rain, in the middle of nowhere. But together close to each other and it makes it heaven.
Sameer: Nania…
He called my name and I started crying…
Sameer: Naina… Please … please don’t cry….
Sameer moved his hand forward to wipe my tears away, but he stopped midway. I looked at him with my tear filled eyes…
Sameer: I am here na, please stop crying now…
Me: I missed you… I missed you like crazy….
Sameer moved his hand over my wrist and slid it down, and touch my palm. The first touch… sensuous and triggered a lot of emotions that had been held behind. I didn’t move an inch. His touch was tickling me. I looked into Sameer’s eyes, it was not the same. He looks different yet familiar… Sameer moved his fingers in between the gap of mine and held tightly. It feels complete and divine. Feels like nothing can be more perfect than this. This is where my hand is supposed to be; in his hand…. Sameer raised our hands close to his heart. I could feel his heart beat on the back of my palm.
Sameer: I missed you too…. and I don’t want to miss you again…
His each word sinks into my heart. Each word was a promise, a confession and proclamation of love that haven’t said yet…And then there was a silence between us as the words sunk in. Even though the noise of the rain continued just as before, it was as if time had stopped and nothing moved.
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Sameer and I sat on the bench under the gulmohar. Still our hands held together. I don’t want to move my hand neither did he.
Me: why did you go…?
Sammer: nanaji wanted to see me.
Me: you could have called Sameer. Why do you ask me to not call or message..? That was cruel…
Sameer: I am sorry… But I want to be sure about my feelings to you..
I looked at him.
Sameer: You know I like you, from the beginning… You were something… something special for me…
I blushed…
Sameer: that was not enough for me. I wanted to know how I feel for you clearly… without doubts…
My eyes questioned Sameer… Sure about what…? But my lips don’t move. No words came out…
Sameer: I want you to realize your feelings too… I want to know how you feel about me; your actions had spoken a lot… But I want you to admit it… to you… to me… in words….
Me: Sameer… I…
Sameer: I know it’s too early for us to make decision for life… But I want you to know how I feel for you…
Me: Sameer…
Sameer: Naina, I like you… I really like you… and when I was away from you, each day feels like a year and that make me realize how much I love you…
I looked at Sameer. Love..? Did he just say love…?
Sameer: yaa… I… I love you… I love you Naina…
Me: Sameer…
Sameer: I know you feel the same about me… don’t you..?
I nodded and kept my other hand on our hands held together. Like a promise, an assurance…
Sameer then raised our hands, still in each other’s grip, close to his face. My heart sank when I feel Sameer’s breath fall on the back of my hand… His lips were close to my palm… I withdraw my hand just before his lip touch my hand… I stood and move away from him…Sameer smiles and came near me…
Sameer: Naina…
Me: I have to go…
And saying that I ran from there.
Sameer: You can’t always run like this…
I turned, and look at him. He was standing under the tree with the smile….