Dreams which keep us alive chapter 21

I couldn’t understand anything. It didn’t make any sense. He was looking away breathing calmly where I felt my lung had totally gone. There was not enough air.
“Why are you silent?…is it what you planning these days in your stupid skull.?”

“Calm down. It’s for better. For me for you. We are not belong with each other. Our world is different.” He gulp, a lump forming in his throat. “It have to over. Today or some other day. What makes the difference?”

I stared him for a long time. It really didn’t make any sense. Was he talking about our relationship.? I shut my eyes. Trying to get over this nightmare. But when I opened my eyelashes he was still there. With that cold scary eyes. “If you are joking with me, I’m telling you it’s the worst joke ever.”

He smiled little , still it’s so painful. Like it’s some humiliating things. ” I make your life a shitty joke. Don’t I? ” he took a deep breath, then exhale. This time he fully turned toward me. When he finally looked at me, his eyes were harder, like the liquid intensity had frozen solid.

“We were right at the first place , you know!? That was right we can’t be together. We believed it. But after that whatever happened it shouldn’t. I. Am. Not. Good. For. You”

“Don’t.” My voice was just a whisper now; awareness was beginning to seep through me, trickling like acid through my veins. “Don’t do this”

He just stared at me, and I could see from his eyes that my words were far too late. He already had. ” yeah. May be I will love you always in some other way. But when reality harsh, we had to face it right?”

I was feeling numb. Nothing just nothing. What was he saying ..I couldn’t understand. I could just thinking one thing. He. Was. Going. To. Leave. Me. That..that couldn’t happen. I need him. I want him. Damn I love him.

I took a deep breath. ” and which reality you are saying. You belong to my word. And that is obvious. Without you it’s nothing. ” I couldn’t stand anymore. Finally tears started running down my cheeks.

He shut his eyes biting his lower lip. I stepped forward and grabbed his chin, forced him to look at me. “May be..may be it will difficult. But we can work it out right? You promised that you will be with me. Then w.hy are you s..saying this now?
I need you. I ….” I voice broke down for the sobbing.

He removed my hand from his face. ” can’t you see. This is what I want to say. You are too good for me. Too too good. And I’m here a blo*dy selfish… I don’t deserve you. You don’t need me. You don’t” he yelled at me taking a few steps back. I wanted to step forward again but he held his hand in front of him to stop me.

“Gasp it, Arohi. Admit it. This is good for us…for you. I am a disaster. I can’t be with you. How many trouble you faced for me. Huh!? You should learn your lesson now.”
I should punch him for his nonsense.

“This is all about that blast bullshit. Right? Oh Zyan , how immature thing it is? You can’t let this happen. It’s absolutely disgusting.” I was freaking out. How could he do this.

“This is not immature. I’m being practical. That’s it. You would have face problems for me. Before you regret we should be apart.” I blink several times. Still can’t understand anything. ‘I would regret for this. Is he mad or some…I don’t know. I don’t know anything. He should meet a phycologist. ‘

“What will you tell our parents” I wanted to give him some practical reason. ” I will handle it. You don’t have to worry. And finally..” He took a deep breath, then again started.

” I think…. This is the last…I mean…may be after this where we would be…don’t know…..so….” He stepped forward and his hands locked around my wrists and pinned them to my sides. He leaned down, and pressed his lips very lightly to my forehead for the briefest instant. My eyes closed. “Take care of yourself,” he breathed,

I tried to breathe normally. I needed to concentrate, to find a way out of this nightmare. I leaned in and warped my arms around his neck for the last time.!? Nooo! No ! This can’t possible. It hurts damn hurts.

“No..don’t do this. I..I love you Zyan!” Yeah I said it. finally said it, whispering to his ears. Literally burst out crying. I never thought I would cry for a man this much, I’m not that material..but now it’s happening. But what’s the point.! He tight his grip around my waist and kissed my ears ” I love you too. And this is all for that. ” he took a deep breath in my hair. Then..

Then stepped back losing my grip. “I think this is the end. ” he smiled a sad smile.

My knees must have started to shake, because everything were suddenly wobbling. I could hear the blood pounding faster than normal behind my ears. His voice sounded farther away.

I wanted to reach him but couldn’t get that energy. “Bye Arohi.” This was the last thing I heard from him. After that he stepped in his car and left the place. I stared like blind. Still couldn’t believe it’s all happened. My knees touched the ground, nothing I could hear except my sobbing. He left. Left with a big part of me. I didn’t know how will I survive without that.

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                          ^^^^^^^^^^^

      [πππππππ{ three weeks }ππππππππ]

It had been three weeks. Still feeling like dead. I covered myself in a blanket and pretend to sleep. Mom checked me several time from the morning but couldn’t find anything. That could make me like this. You know what I stopped crying. There was no meaning of it. My life became a regular routine.

Every morning I woke up and to my surprise I was still breathing. I spent my whole day in academy and yeah that’s a good destruction. My effort made some light. I won the state level. The great things happened this time. Dad was there for me. For cheering me up. I couldn’t understand until he started asking about Zyan. Why he was not there.? After giving him a long lecture that tennis was not bad.

Wow before leaving he gave me the most precious gift. But for my astonishment I really hoped that he would come. But my vain hope shuttered again without warning. He was not there. He was nowhere. Just remembering him like this, my already broken heart ached even more.

This sensation that a huge hole had been punched through my chest, excising my most vital organs and leaving ragged, unhealed. Rationally, I knew my lungs must still be intact, yet I gasped for air and my head spun like my efforts yielded me nothing. My heart must have been beating, too, but I couldn’t hear the sound of my pulse in my ears;  I curled inward, hugging my ribs to hold myself together.

Only thing that I could do was pretending. That’s what I’m doing. Was he still here or ……had gone.. Don’t know. Don’t want to know..

“Arohiiiiii…..you still sleeping? What yr..wake up.” I removed my blanket to see Ash and Rhea entering the room. Obviously they knew that Zyan left. But the reason… That was not understandable for them. Ash was extremely pissed of. She had a great faith in this relationship.

FAITH!!!!! The word had no meaning now.
I remained laying on the bed. Couldn’t gathered that energy to sit up and face them. I know what would they say. Move on. Enjoy. I don’t need him. I could be independent. I could be happy???

Huh!! Happy! There was nothing to be happy now. But again I had to face them. For another day. For another reason. Without him. And yeah without my heart also……..which had gone too far.
………

I’m so sorry if I made you sad writing this. But don’t hate me. I’ll fix it up soon. And you can give me your views here. I hope the story didn’t turn some pathetic boring theme. And hope you like it. Give me your comments dear. It will help me.