Part 14:
Chandni didn’t reply him this time but also didn’t let him get his hand away, she started to walk towards his room urging him to walk too until they reached his room and Chandni made him lay on the bed, the moment she was about to leave the room she heard him calling out to her “Chandni please… please don’t go… don’t… don’t leave me alone… I’m in… I’m in hell… there is… there is no one to save me… I’ll die if you’ll leave me, please don’t go” this made her stop right there in her tracks and she turned to look at him, the moment she turned she noticed that he was mumbling all that in his sleep, she didn’t know why but involuntarily she started to get closer to his bed, she raked her hand through his soft curls and a lone tear escaped her eyes.
(Guys couldn’t help but include this song as I found it perfectly suited to the current situation of the story.)
Save Me by Remy Zero
“I feel my wings have broken in your hands
I feel the words unspoken inside
And they pull you under
And I will give you anything you want, oh
You are all I wanted
All my dreams are fallen down
Crawlin’ round and ’round and ’round” Her hands roamed in his hair for few moments trying to soothe away his pain and suffering, unintentionally her hand moved down and touched his face, another tear made its ways from her eyes, she touched her face in a trance only to find out that she was crying because he was in immense pain “what’s wrong with me? Why I’m feeling his pain, his heartache in my heart?” she was wondering what had gotten into her, only a few days ago she hated this man with all her being and now here she was tending to his wounds and even feeling his pain in her heart.
“Somebody save me
Let your warm hands break right through it
Somebody save me
I don’t care how you do it, just stay, stay
C’mon, I’ve been waiting for you” She moved her hand further down in a trance and held his hand in hers and squeezed it reassuring that it’s going to be okay. “Shh… shh… Advay it’s fine, everything is fine… you are going be fine… just go to sleep… you’ll be okay” she whispered in his ear and miraculously it worked as he was calm now and drifted into a deep slumber. As she tried to get and go from there she felt a tug at her hand only to find Advay holding her hand tightly against his chest right where his heart was beating ignorant that it was only beating for her.
“I see the world has folded in your heart
I feel the waves crash down inside
And they pull me under
I would give you anything you want, oh
You are all I wanted
All my dreams have fallen down
Crawlin’ around and around and around…” “Chandni please forgive me… I didn’t… I didn’t mean to ruin your life… I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry for what I did to you… Please forgive me” she heard him pleading with her for her forgiveness while tears were oozing out of his closed eyes. There were immense pain and anguish registered on his face as if he was literally in hell, his own hell fueled with the fire of his guilt and regret that was burning him slowly from inside out, turning his whole world into ashes. Chandi hovered over him and wiped away his tears softly with her other hand that was free, then she rested her hand on his cheek and her own eyes flooded with tears over his suffering, she didn’t know why but his pain was giving her heartache.
“Somebody save me
Let your warm hands break right through it
Somebody save me
I don’t care how you do it, just stay, stay
C’mon, I’ve been waiting for you
Crawlin’ around and around…” “Sometimes… sometimes I feel like… like I’m living in a fool’s paradise… yes, a fool’s paradise… hoping that… that one day you’ll forgive me… it’s a fool’s hope… you’ll never forgive me because I know… I know you hate me and… and I’ll always be a monster for you…” he continued confiding his feelings, his guilt, his regrets and his hopes to Chandni. She was feeling like her heartache was increasing the more he was letting her know of his pain in his sleep. Feeling drained of energy she slumped down on the bed beside him; sitting there she didn’t try to get her hand free of his grip. She had no idea why was doing this but somehow she wanted to lessen his pain, his suffering, she tried to convince herself that she was doing this for Naani’s sake but her heart didn’t agree to her.
“Somebody save me
Let your warm hands break right through
Somebody save me
I don’t care how you do it, just stay with me
I made this whole world shine for you
Just stay, stay
C’mon, I’m still waiting for you” “I keep on hoping that one day… one day you’ll forgive me… that one day… you’ll accept my love… but I’m a fool for that… how can a girl… forgive the man… who destroyed her life… how you can forgive me… accept my love… deep down I hoped that… that you’ll be my savior… my salvation… the ray of light to save me from the darkness… the darkness that is taking over me… turning me into a person… that I don’t want to be… a dark, evil, ruthless and poisonous monster… who ruins everything he touches… I don’t want to be a monster… all I wanted was to be loved… to be saved… to be redeemed… but I lost my chance… when I hurt… I destroyed my chance of redemption and of being saved with my own very hands… now I know I’m past saving… there is no one to save me” he continued mumbling in his sleep. Chandni moved closer to him, placing his head on her lap, she rested against the headboard and tears flowed from her eyes. She started to rake her hand through his soft curls as if trying to soothe away his pain “Advay you are not past saving, you just don’t know it yet” she thought in her heart closing her eyes.