Mom,
Where to start?You know your daughter talks very less.Always remain busy in her own world which people consider to be so unladylike.But you know your daughter hates meaningless gossips and talks and does not want to involve herself in those.You are very social,friendly,always ready to hear what people around you want to say.But your daughter is complete opposite of your nature.
You love people but your daughter stays away from them.Our choices are poles apart,no?
I remember you told me how I learnt walking-One fine day without anyone’s help I stand up and kept going on my baby feet with much confidence,looking ahead.I continued walking until you came running and took me in your arms.Before that she never tried to walk!So stubborn was your daughter!
And she got that trait from you.
No-one can force her to do anything without her wish.You taught me to write.After learning to hold pen,pencil,I had written on every possible paper including cushion,pillow covers,bed-sheet,cloths etc.of my choice.And you never scolded me.
You have heard people taunting you pointing at my(from their point of view) anti-social behaviour.But you never replied back or explained to those concerned people why your daughter is like that.Your daughter loves to being herself and you appreciate that.Never told that but I have my sixth sense.
Your daughter love wearing saree.Have marveled at it through your collections.You did not come to help me to wear any.I learnt it by myself.And you never scolded me for damaging your expensive pieces.
Your work left with you little time to invest in me.Still,you managed time for me.I have spent many alone hours in home.Dad introduced me to the world of books to give me company.But I missed you and your attention when you used to stay away because of work.You never gave any excuses if you failed to perform any particular duty on time.I would understand,you expected and I really understood.You took care of my every necessity though you stayed afar.
Being a member of joint family,you have seen a lot of peoples.Brothers,sisters,uncle aunts-so many people are there for you.You have Seven siblings apart from having countless cousins and your daughter-She has none.You feel very bad about it but never let me feel that.
Mom,
You never complained for anything.Life threw challenges at you and you faced those boldly.You said-“You are alone but don’t make it your weakness.Rather turn it to your strength.How you will do it,you have to figure it out all by yourself.I won’t come to your help every time”
Your daughter has figured it out.Now,I am not afraid of being alone.
My results,marks-sheet received neutral response from you.I used to assume your not-so-expressive expressions as No and thrived hard to do better next time.How finely you encouraged me without saying a word!
You have said only this-“Don’t compete with other.Compete with yourself” and that’s what I do,am doing.
There are so many things I wish to tell you,wished to tell you but never muster up the courage.
Mom,
You must have felt broken,helpless,cursing your fate when doctor declared your firstborn as Stillborn,Dead,right after the delivery when I did not cry,normal for every baby.Your nine month’s struggles were supposed to get ruined,because of me as I refused to cry,take first breath.Those moments,every single moment must be painful for you beyond imagination.I was all set to deprive you your precious,deserved,most expected Motherhood.How cruel of me!
Doctors,nurses,your doctor relatives performed special stunt to revive me.As they could digest the fact that their first grand-child won’t stay with them.How dare me!Watching my audacity they hung me down from a stand.Legs up,head down.Hours got passed by.Finally God changed His decision,answered your and everyone’s prayer and your stubborn daughter cried her first cry in that “legs up,head down position”
They placed me in your arms.That moment must be worth watching.Wish I could Mom!Always wanted to ask you what you felt in those moment but could not gather up necessary courage.I caused you pain.I am sorry Mom.
I may not become a good daughter but you are my best Mom.Best of Best.Words can’t describe all those feelings of my heart which I feel for you.
You are my heart,my soul,my entire being.People expect me to be like you but you know I can’t.Because,you are God’s master creation,one and only specimen.He won’t like it if another one copies those unique style of His creation.I am happy to be your daughter Mom,trust me.If I get the chance,if possible,I would love to be your daughter in next birth.Do wait for me like you have waited in this life-time.I may be late next time too!
Happy Birth Day Mom.Wishing You A Very Happy Returns Of The Day.
And yeah,I Love You.
Your daughter,
Luthfa