Guilt (A RAGSAN FF) chapter 22

“Hello Uncle” said Ragini standing along with Swara outside Kavya’s house when Dayal opened the door and Swara was analyzing everything outside. Ragini held Swara’s shivering hand tightly who was scared looking at Dayal. Dayal smiled weakly and welcomed them inside. “Wo Uncle Maa told me that Kavya had come home yesterday. I was out of town so could not meet. So I.. I just thought I will meet her” said Ragini nervous entering the house. “Sit beta. I will just call her” said Dayal heading to Kavya’s room.

“Doll. Your friend has come beta.” said Dayal entering Kavya’s room. Kavya who was watching outside the window lost; jerked and came back to reality and wiped her tears. It has become usual routine for Dayal to watch his daughter helplessly. Her pain was piercing him like a spear. “Ha poppy. I will just come” said Kavya and walked to washroom to wash her tears which she wanted to hide from her poppy. Dayal held her hand stopping her.

Parents are like that, you may succeed in hiding your feelings from yourself but not from them. Slight change in your breathing and you are caught. Kavya couldn’t control her emotions more. She turned and hugged Dayal in a bone crushing hug and burst into a silent bitter cry. Dayal rubbed her shoulders consoling her. He had tears in his eyes looking at Kavya’s condition. “Shh Doll.” said Dayal consoling her. Kavya composed herself and went to washroom. Dayal headed down. He guided the servants to serve and headed to his room upstairs.

“Hey Ragini” said Kavya getting down the stairs. Ragini who was sitting nervously looked at her. The smile which hid Kavya’s pain made Ragini more weak. She avoided Kavya as she thought she will only increase her pain. But Kavya was stubborn. She doesn’t wanted to let go Ragini so easily out of her life. When she visited Ragini’s house to meet her, Ragini thought at least for the sake of friendship they shared she should go and meet Kavya once. Kavya and Ragini had a painful eyelock. Ragini held herself responsible for her best friend’s pain. That’s the worst situation in friendship. Kavya could sense Ragini’s restlessness. Swara smiled widely looking at Kavya and ran and hugged her. Kavya smiled and caressed her hair. She looked at Ragini who was staring ground not able to meet her eyes.

“Angry on me?” asked Kavya as she stood in front of Ragini after holding Swara’s hand. Ragini sobbed and hugged Kavya in a bone crushing hug. Kavya was surprised. She hugged Ragini back consoling her. “I’m…. I’m sorry Kavya” said Ragini sobbing. Kavya controlled her tears. “Hey Ragini. Relax yaar” said Kavya. “It wasn’t your fault” said Kavya dragging Ragini out of the hug and cupping her face. Dayal watched it from the stairs and went to his room not able to see Kavya’s pain. Ragini stopped Kavya who was heading to console Dayal. “Can I?” asked Ragini. Kavya smiled and nodded her head. “Shona shall we watch Doremon?” asked Kavya to Swara. Swara smiled and headed to Kavya’s room holding her hand.

“Uncle?” said Ragini entering Dayal’s room. Dayal still was staring out of the window. “I failed beta. As a dad I failed” said Dayal with painful eyes staring out of the window. Ragini kept her hand on Dayal’s shoulder. “I’m very small to say you anything but I just want to share it with you” said Ragini looking at the same direction Dayal was staring. “I have seen fathers who kill their daughters thinking them as burden. We are lucky to get Dads who will love us so much. Uncle you cannot change your kid’s destiny. But you can give them something better than that” said Ragini. Dayal looked at her confused. Ragini looked at him and smiled. “Upbringing” said Ragini. “You can give your kid the upbringing to face the challenges of life. Don’t just be a protecting shield. Sometime you have to let your kid face challenges for their own good. Be their healing power if they don’t succeed.

Give them the confidence that true loser is that person who doesn’t try. Koshish karne wale ki kabhi haar nahi hoti. Life is not about winning always. It’s about facing the challenges. I know it pains you to look at Kavya like this but you have to make her strong. If you become weak who will handle her” said Ragini. Dayal smiled at her with tears in his eyes. “Aur wo log bahut lucky hote hai jinke papa unke sath unki har ladayi me sath dete hai” said Ragini painfully remembering Shekar. Dayal signed her to hug him. She hugged him and sobbed. Dayal caressed her hair. Ragini was craving for a father’s love from the day Shekar left her. Though we talk about equality and all the other stuff.

But the protective feeling your dad gives you; you can never be able to find it anywhere. Your dad trusts you to infinity though he scolds you and sometimes feel like he is over reacting. But his absence is like the protective layer around your family is broken. Though Ragini became tough and unbreakable there were times when she has to walk alone in the nights and have to face some lustful eyes around(which obviously you cannot avoid) she used to miss her dad and bhayyu so much. Being a girl sometimes feels as a curse when you don’t have a male family member in your house. It is not about partiality but it is the sad truth of our society.
“Thank you beta. For coming in our life” said Dayal smiling through his tears. Ragini was like a soothing breeze who cooled everyone’s anxiety. Though she suffered a lot in her life she made sure she will try to reduce the pain of other people. Ragini dragged herself from the hug and wiped Dayal’s tears. He smiled and kissed her hair. The fatherly love she craved from years came in the form of Dayal.
“Come with me” said Ragini taking Dayal out of his room.

They were at Kavya’s room door. Ragini showed him to look inside and Dayal looked inside and found Kavya and Swara laughing and enjoying. He smiled through his tears. Ragini leaned to his shoulder and rested her head on his shoulder. Dayal caressed her hair from other hand and said “You really are mother to everyone. Nobody can explain the way you explain and care. My Kavya is so lucky to have you as her friend. Now I’m tension-free. Because I know my Doll will fight and that confidence you have given to her.” Ragini smiled and looked at him and said “I’m actually lucky uncle to have her in my life. After whatever happened she did not break our friendship but it became more strong” Dayal nodded his head and they watched Swara and Kavya enjoying.
“You are always positive beta.

Now I understand why is Kavya so attached to you. Even though you are carrying a burden of never ending miseries you bring smiles on everyone’s face. Now I’m not angry on Sanskar also. I cannot blame him that he fell in love with you. I’m at fault because without knowing whether he loves Kavya or not I made him to accept the proposal. I should apologize to him. How you make people realize their mistake with so much ease. At this age you are so mature. God always should keep you happy” thought Dayal smiling.
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“Riya. Can you please come to my cabin” said Sanskar on the intercom. He looked at Ragini’s workstation which was empty. From the time he entered office he was restless as Ragini had not come to office. He was hell worried for her.
“May I come in sir?” asked Riya. Sanskar signed her to get inside the cabin. “Yes sir?” asked Riya after she settled in her seat. “Wo wo” said Sanskar struggling. Riya understood it was about Ragini. “Sir today among all the staff only Ragini is on leave sir. And she informed that she is not well. So just needed to take rest” said Riya smiling. Sanskar suddenly looked at her and asked “What happened to her? Why she is not well?”. His worry could be clearly seen in his voice. “Don’t know sir exactly. She just said she is not well” said Riya and smiled mischievously looking at Sanskar’s restlessness when he was lost in worries. Sanskar’s restlessness increased. He took his blazer and headed out. He sat in his car and drove to Ragini’s house. He tried calling her but she was not picking the call. It made him more restless.
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“Shonu” shouted Ragini as Swara ran inside the house when they were near the gate. A car halted behind Ragini when she was about to enter the gate with a screech. Ragini jerked and looked back at the car. Sanskar got down from the car and immediately hugged her. Ragini was surprised. She held her hands in air not able to grasp anything. “Why did you not pick my call Ragini. You know how much I was worried for you. Why didn’t you come to office?” asked Sanskar sobbing. He dragged himself out of the hug and cupped Ragini’s face and continued “Are you okay? Riya told me that you are not well. What happened?” Ragini was still shocked. Somewhere her heart was jumping in joy for Sanskar’s concern.

His state was heart wrenching. She started tearing looking at his condition and they had brief painful eye-lock.

Ragini jerked his hands coming to reality and said “Thank you for your concern Mr. Maheshwari. But I really don’t need that. And why should I inform you about my sick leaves. HR is there to take care of it. You need not bother about your employees health so much” She only knew how much her each word pained her. Sanskar stared at her shocked. Her rude arrogant behavior always pierced him like spear. He wanted this only but he was not ready to face that pain yet. He suddenly held her elbow and dragged her close to him and said “It bothers me dammit. And you are nobody to question me why I’m bothered.” said Sanskar jerking her hand and leaving from there furious. Ragini turned swiftly as her tears were ready to flood looking at Sanskar hurt. She wanted to hurt him and she did that also. But her heart was paining not able to look him in this state. Sanskar drove the car back to his house. Ragini held her neck to suppress her cry. “Why am I not able to hate him how much ever I try?” thought Ragini and headed inside the house wiping her tears.

“Chachu” screeched Ansh as soon as he spotted Sanskar entering the house. He ran and hugged Sanskar from his legs. Sanskar smiled at him weakly and carried him in his arms. Ansh narrated him what and all he did and Sanskar listened to him carefully. But his thoughts were full of Ragini’s rude behavior. Anu could sense his pain. She looked at him with slight tears in her eyes. Sanskar looked at her and assured her that he is fine.

“I want to stay away from you Ragini but my heart drags me to you again and again. I really cant stop myself from getting dragged to you. I have to be more strong now. I have to be more determined” thought Sanskar lying on his bed hugging Ansh. Ananya was sleeping in cradle with innocent smile like as if she could sense her chachu’s confusions.

“Hmmm hmmm hmmm” saying Ragini finished her lori which she was singing patting Swara’s head and shoulders. “It bothers me dammit” she remembered Sanskar’s rage full eyes. The concern and love in his eyes were unavoidable. She wanted to torture him but slight pain of his she was not able to tolerate. She closed her eyes and let the tears flow from her eyes.

“You will not back off promise me. You have to get the culprit punished” said Shekar on his bed. “I promise Poppy. But don’t leave me. I cannot fight it alone” said Ragini holding Shekar’s hand. “My Ladoo is the strongest. And you will only fire my pyre” said Shekar struggling breathing. “No poppy. Please. Already bhayyu left me. I cannot live without you. Please don’t go” said Ragini sobbing. “Ladoo don’t make it more difficult for me beta. I have to go. I will be around you always. Just look at the stars and you will find me always blessing you” said Shekar. He struggled more and inhaled his last breath. “Poppy” screamed Ragini hugging his lifeless body.

Ragini opened her eyes wide with tears. She looked at the stars and felt Shekar’s presence. She wiped her tears. “Nothing is more important than my revenge” said Ragini determined. She slept determined. Her heart was struggling to voice out but couldn’t.
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I know it is small. But if I have to give big updates you people got to wait two to three days guys. So I don’t want you people to miss me. So keep smiling and keep reading. Love you all