Guilt ( A RagSan FF) Chapter 48

“I gave him enough chances maa” said Ragini to Mrs. Somany who was patting Ragini’s head who was sleeping in her lap. “I know beta you can never avoid Ansh and Ananya. For them only you married him. But I don’t understand why did he say like that. Do you know how difficult this is going to be?” asked she. “I know” said Ragini and wiped her tears. “We will meet the doctor tomorrow and get the schedules for further tests” said she and Ragini nodded her head. She kissed Ragini’s forehead and placed her head on pillow and headed to room.
“Arrey Dayal ji aap?” asked Anu as she opened the door and found Dayal. “Arrey Anu ji I came to give a good news. Kavi is pregnant. Where is Ragu” said he searching. Anu’s smiled faded and she struggled to say. “Hello ha Sanskar” said Yohan from the other side as Sanskar was descending from the stairs. He heard Dayal and said “Congratulations dude. You are going to be dad” said he hiding his pain. “How did you know?” asked Yohan confused. “Dayal uncle has come to home. He told me” said Sanskar looking at Dayal who was looking at him doubtfully. “Oh is it. Thank you so much Sanskar” said Yohan. “Where is Ragu?” he asked. “If I tell him my problems then they will rush here and I cannot risk it. Kavya is pregnant. For my happiness I cannot snatch her happiness” thought Sanskar. “Wo Yohan she has gone out side. But one request” said Sanskar. “Ha tell me Sanskar” said Yohan. “Please don’t tell her about this. She is already upset that she cannot conceive” said Sanskar. “Okay dude I will not talk to her about this and all” said Yohan. “Okay take care of Kavya” said Sanskar and disconnected the call.
“Please uncle. After a long time she is happy in her life. I don’t want to snatch that also” said Sanskar pleading Dayal. “And you want me to spoil my other daughter’s life?” asked Dayal. “She will be fine uncle. She is just angry on me. Once these things clear she will be back in my life” said Sanskar smiling at Dayal. “And you will tolerate this pain of staying away from her?” asked he caressing Sanskar’s cheek. “Where uncle. She is with me only always here” said Sanskar pointing his heart and Dayal hugged him and patted his head. “Kis mitti ke bane ho tum dono. In so much pain also you are thinking about others instead of your problems” said Dayal painfully. “My Doll is so lucky to have you people in her life” said Dayal caressing his cheek. Sanskar smiled weakly

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“Swara” screamed Sahil when Swara slapped Ragini. “Dee” said Ragini holding her cheek looking at Swara painfully. “How many times he has to justify himself Ragu and why?” asked Swara holding Ragini from her elbow. “And you want me to kill my kid?” asked Ragini in cracking voice. “Did you give him a chance to explain?” asked Swara furious. “I gave him number of chances dee. When he accepted his feelings on your Haldi day he said that he is not scared that I will ignore Ansh and Ananya. Which one you want me to believe tell me? That or yesterday what he told that he was scared that I will ignore Ansh and Ananya. He never had trust on me and you are saying me to trust him?” asked Ragini holding Swara from her shoulders. “Leave all that. I will forgive him for cheating me in the name of love for two years. But he said to abort the kid. How can he dee? Don’t you know how much I craved to be a mom” said Ragini placing her head on Swara’s shoulder. “He was…” said Swara but Sahil stopped her signing no. She patted Ragini’s head and tried consoling her.
“Why did you stop me Sahil?” said Swara as they were driving to MM. “Come I will tell you” said he and took her inside. “Hello Yohan, can you suggest me any doctor to consult for Ragini here as you cannot travel now frequently” said Sanskar over the phone when Swara and Sahil entered MM. “Okay” said Sanskar and disconnected the call. “What did he tell?” asked Sahil. “His friend Dr. Akshay has shifted to India and he will help us. Yohan will mail him Ragini’s reports and case studies” said Sanskar. “Yohan did not get any doubt na because if he or Kavya came to know they will rush here immediately and it is not good for Kavya in this state” said Sahil. “Haa Sahil bhai. I am careful about it. I even told him to not to talk to Ragini much as he might blurt out about Kavya’s pregnancy” said Sanskar. “What are you people talking can anyone tell me?” said Swara. “Shona we are not sure if Ragini’s disorder is cured or not so we cannot take risk. We have to consult someone before telling her the truth. And we cannot discuss this with Yohan you know na?” said Sahil and she nodded her head. She neared Sanskar and stood in front of him. “My bandar really chose a best life partner for my Ragu” said Swara and hugged Sanskar who consoled her patting her head.

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“Unless we do a detailed test and analysis I cannot conclude anything” said Dr. Akshay analyzing Ragini’s report. “Okay doctor. Thank you” said Sahil and headed out with Sanskar. “How to convince her for this test. Without telling her?” said Sanskar tensed.
“But how will I convince her Sanskar?” said Mrs Somany tensed. “Please maa it is about her life” said Sanskar pleading her. “But” said she. “I will lose her maa. I cannot risk her life” said Sanskar. “Even if you did the test do you think you can convince her for abortion?” asked she. “I’m not thinking about it right now maa. I just need to know has she undergone any medical transition after coming to know the truth about her Bhayyu’s accident which may harm her now” said Sanskar helplessly. “I will convince her to abort this kid later” said Sanskar. “Even I did not understand how can you misunderstand her that she will ignore Ansh and Ananya. Now it’s clear. Why do you love her so much Sanskar?” asked she caressing his cheek. “Because I cannot live without her. Let her stay away from me but she will be in front of me at least but I cannot risk her life” said Sanskar helplessly. “Okay I will get her tomorrow” said she nodding her head smiling through her tears.

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“Maa but we came for test yesterday only na? And this is not gynecologist department. What are we doing in neurological department” said Ragini walking with Mrs. Somany. “Wo Ragini beta. One of my friend suggested to go for a neuro surgeon to tackle mood swings. He will just do a consultation” said she nervous. “Oh okay” said Ragini walking with her.
“Okay Mrs.?” asked Akshay after finishing the tests and analysis. “Mrs. Ragini Sanskar Maheswari” said Ragini which stopped Sanskar’s heart beat for a moment when he was watching her from a distance in a ward boy get up with a mask covering his mouth. A tear dropped from his eye and he wiped it immediately. “Okay Mrs. Maheshwari. It was nice meeting you. And I will let you know the diet and precautions during pregnancy. Please follow it” said he and Ragini left from their bidding him bye. “Why do I feel I have seen her somewhere” he thought to himself.
“Thank you doctor” said Sanskar sitting in front of him as soon as Ragini left the hospital with Mrs Somany. “No no that’s okay Mr. Maheshwari. It was my pleasure helping you. But I did not understand why you told me not to say this to Yohan” said he confused. “Actually Ragini is his childhood friend you know right and his wife is expecting now and if you tell him about Ragini and me he will rush from there immediately and I don’t want him to panic” said Sanskar. “I really appreciate your decision” said he smiling at Sanskar.

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“As per your input about her reaction about abortion, I can conclude that she is still suffering the sudden outburst of anger” said Akshay. “She might have complications but if you avoid making her angry she will be fine” said he. “That means I should not try telling her truth for the time being and should stay away from her because her blood boils when she looks at me” said Sanskar sad. “If any of us tells her?” asked Sahil. “No don’t do it for the time being. She should not fall emotionally weak also now. It might result in miscarriage and she will go back to the same state again” said Akshay. “It’s okay Sahil bhai I will tolerate her hatred for her and for our kid” said Sanskar looking at Sahil. Sahil caressed his cheek and hugged him and consoled him. “Why do I feel I have seen her somewhere” thought Akshay. “Okay doctor we will leave now. Thank you so much” said Sanskar bringing him out of his trance. He smiled looking at them and they headed out.

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“What happened Ragu?” asked Mrs. Somany as Ragini got up from her sleep holding her baby bump. “Maa I want to eat ice cream” said Ragini pouting. “Ice cream now?” asked she and Ragini nodded her head.
“She is awake?” whispered Sanskar entering the house with the ice cream box. “Ya come” said Mrs Somany taking him to kitchen carefully.
“Maa how you know I like chocochip with Vanilla?” asked Ragini as she ate the last byte. Mrs. Somany chocked but composed herself and said “Wo beta… That was the only flavor left in the Parlor today when your Papa went to buy the family pack in the morning” said she and smiled weakly. “Oh” said Ragini sucking the spoon. Sanskar who was standing near the window without her knowledge smiled looking at her smile

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“Ouch maa” screamed Ragini as her water broke. “Ragu bacha” said Mrs. Somany cupping her face and tried cooling her. “Maa I can’t tolerate this pain” screamed Ragini holding her baby bump. “What to do? Your papa is also gone out of town as your due date was two days later” said she worried. “Maa” screamed Ragini again. “Hello Sahil. Ragini’s water broke we have to take her to the hospital beta” said Mrs Somany over the phone. “Arrey Aunty I just came with Swara for Swapnil’s polio drops and it will be too late by the time I reach. Wait I will do something” said Sahil. “What happened Sahil?” asked Swara worried. “Ragini’s water broke Swara and nobody is there near her” said Sahil worried. “You be here, after the drops you come directly to hospital” said he and ran out.
“What?” said Sanskar and the phone slipped from his hand. He ran out of the house.
“Arrey Sanskar beta good that you came” said Mrs Somany as Sanskar entered their home. “Why have you come here?” screamed Ragini. “Shut up Bandariya” said Sanskar and Ragini jerked and stopped her scream for sometime. Sanskar picked her in his arms. “Leave me” said Ragini hitting him with her hands. “Keep Quite or else I will go from here if you do more nakhra” said Sanskar glaring her. “Ragu bacha please relax see we have no option. Think about your kid. We don’t have any other option” said Mrs. Somany pleading and Ragini stopped her struggle. “Dramebaz” said Sanskar and Ragini glared him. “Thank god Sahil bhai you came” said Sanskar as he saw Sahil coming running near the gate. “Jeeju” said Ragini. “Ragu relax bacha. See I came na we will go to hospital now and everything will be fine” said Sahil caressing her cheek. “Tell him to go” said Ragini holding her baby bump and screaming with pain. “Ragu we need him for the time being. I cannot handle it alone. See you will be in pain I won’t be able to concentrate on driving” said Sahil pleading her. And Sanskar placed her inside the car and sat beside her and sat beside her. “You could have called Ambulance na… Ahhhh” said Ragini. “In this state also how fast your mind works Bandariya now keep quite. This is all necessary now?” asked Sanskar glaring her. Sahil drove the car. Ragini jerked her hand from Sanskar’s hold and he dragged her and placed her head on his chest to cool her. Sahil smiled looking at them through the rear mirror.
“Ragu relax” said Sahil walking beside Ragini when she was screaming lying on the stretcher. She was jerking Sanskar’s hand again and again but Sanskar placed his hand on her head and walked beside her.
“Doctor can I stay with her?” asked Sanskar when doctor entered the labor room with Ragini. She nodded her head and took him inside. “What are you doing here? Doctor send him out” said Ragini. “Relax bandariya. Otherwise…” said Sanskar. He was controlling his tears which were fighting to flow. “Otherwise?” asked Ragini. “I will never tell you how I know to plait the Saree” said Sanskar. All the hospital staff was looking at him with open mouth. “You can’t do that” said Ragini. “Try me” said Sanskar and knelt beside her holding her hand. Ragini’s pain brought her out of her trance and she screamed holding his hand. “Push… Bandariya. Can’t you do this much also. You behave like big Jhansi ki rani and can’t even push a baby out” said Sanskar without realizing. Ragini glared him. “Come push instead of me”said Ragini furious. “I’m sorry I know bad joke. Now stop arguing and push” said Sanskar and signed her to breath in and breath out. “Ahhhh” screamed Ragini for the final time and the baby cried. Sanskar’s eyes gleamed with happiness and tears flew from his eyes. “God her pulse is dropping. Nurse get the injection” said the doctor which stopped Sanskar’s heart beat. “No” gasped Sanskar turning to Ragini. “Ragini” he started shaking her and screamed her name again. “Get up Bandariya. Get up see you had promised me that you will not leave me. Slap me hit me but don’t leave me. I cannot live without you. Hey Ragini get up” said Sanskar shaking Ragini. “Ragini” screamed Sanskar. “Ahhh what’s your problem Mr. Maheshwari nobody is dumb here” said Ragini waking up. “Can’t you let me to sleep also” said Ragini annoyed. “Kumbakaran you know how much scared I got” said Sanskar and kissed her forehead. “You said you will tell me how you know to plait the Sari” said Ragini weakly. “Seriously you are impossible” said Sanskar. “Say” whispered Ragini. “You scared me na deal cancel” said Sanskar and got up and headed out. “Idiot Maheshwari” said Ragini moving her hands in air.
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“It’s baby girl” said the nurse getting the baby outside. “Ragini?” asked Swara. “She is given sedatives and will wake up in an hour” said the nurse. “My baby” said Sanskar taking the baby in his hand. It was the best feeling to hold your kid in your arms. Now he understood Ragini’s pain when he said her to abort the kid. A tear dropped from his eye. “Now everything will be fine Sanskar” said Swara standing beside him caressing the baby’s hair. He nodded his head smiling.
“Here” said the nurse handing the baby to Ragini when she woke up and sat on the bed. Ragini smiled and held the baby carefully in her arms. She did not knew was there any better feeling in the world other than this. She smiled and tear peeped from her eye. She smiled looking at her life. She kissed her baby’s forehead closing her eyes. Sanskar’s face flashed in her mind when her lips touched her baby’s skin.
“Congratulations” said Sahil entering with Swara and Swapnil. And others followed him. Mrs Somany took the baby in her hand. She felt the same feeling when she held Pri after her birth. “Ragu bacha” said Avantika sitting beside her and caressing her hair. “Won’t you forgive your maa?” asked Sumi sitting beside her. “Now I understand your pain maa. How can I be angry on you” said Ragini placing her head on Sumi’s shoulder. Sumi caressed her hair. Sanskar stood at the door. “Sanskar come beta” said Harish calling him. “Get lost” said Ragini when Sanskar was about to step inside the room. “Ragu” said Sumi. “I said get lost” screamed Ragini again. Sanskar jerked and stepped back. “Ragu bacha listen to him once” said Sumi caressing her cheek. “I gave him enough chances maa. I can’t give him a single chance now. Just tell him to go” said Ragini pleading Sumi. Sumi looked at Sanskar and folded her hands. She pleaded him to go and Sanskar smiled looking at them and walked backward painfully looking at Ragini.
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“No maa. She will not listen to me now. Everything is over now. I accepted my defeat maa. I cannot fight more” said Sanskar sobbing in Anu’s embrace. Anu caressed his hair painfully looking at him.
“Maa what will we name her?” asked Ansh sitting beside Ragini holding the baby. “Parinita” said Ragini caressing his cheek. Mrs. Somany hugged her and thanked her. “Maa why thanks and all. She is my sister” said Ragini. She turned to Sumi and said “Maa I want to stay in Somany mansion only. They have been there for me when I needed them. I want Pari to spend her initial years with them” said Ragini looking at Sumi. “When you have already taken the decision then why are you asking me” said Sumi and walked out from there. “Maa” said Ragini but she did not stop.
“Maa” said Swara hugging Sumi when she was wiping her tears near the water cooler. “Why is she so stubborn Shona. Why? She is spoiling her life Shona” said Sumi in cracking voice. “You know her na maa. Unless she herself finds out even if we try whatever she will not listen to us” said Swara looking at Sumi. “But” said Sumi. “She needs us maa” said Swara and she nodded her head.
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“I don’t know how much time more I have to see your pain Ragini” said Sanskar looking at Ragini who was sleeping on the bed and a tear dropped from his eye. He sensed Ragini’s movement and he closed his eyes immediately. Ragini who turned looked at his face. “I can’t handle one more heart break Sanskar. I have to control my feelings” said Ragini and a tear dropped from her eye which she wiped swiftly and turned and sobbed. Sanskar opened his eyes and looked at her painfully.