GUILT SEASON II (MAIN TENU SAMJHAVAN KI) CH-56

Ragini ran to her room. She was shivering and her face was brimmed with tears. She controlled the pain in her throat and walked inside to reach her husband.

“Sanskar” she said and looked at him. His calm face made her stop herself. She sat in front of him covering her mouth and stopped herself from bursting into a bitter cry. She looked at him helplessly and closed her eyes as tight as much she could to control the pain.

The nerve on her side head grew and made it difficult for her to even breath. She swallowed hard and folded her lips in pain. She slowly moved her fingers in his hair and he smiled in his sleep feeling her touch.

The night seemed never ending.

***.***

Ragini was lost. Sanskar who was adjusting his Sherwani looked at her and narrowed his eyes. He walked to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. She jerked and tried very hard to inhale the tear back which has already developed in her eye.

She looked at him blank. “Where are you lost?” he asked and she gave him a weak smile and shook her head. And finally wore the ear ring which she had placed in her hand for almost ten minutes.

She stood up and Sanskar rolled his eyes. “When you are not okay Biwi you should tell me” he made her to sit in front of the dressing table. He removed the wrong earring and made her to wear the right one. He placed his chin over her head and smiled. But she was lost somewhere.

“Aren’t you excited for you Bhayyu’s haldi Jaan?” he asked concerned. She did not look up. “Ragini” he called and she looked up.

“What is wrong with you?” he asked concerned. “Sanskar” she turned to him. “You people are still romancing is it?” Anjali asked nodding her head standing at the door. Sanskar blushed caressing his neck.

“Come on. You know your Bhayyu is not gonna even wear the dress of Haldi ceremony if he doesn’t see you” Anjali walked to Ragini.
Ragini nodded her head and walked along with Sanskar holding his hand. She tightened her grip on his hand and Sanskar understood that she was not in her normal senses. Not at least today. He looked at her worried. She did not meet his eyes. And it grew his worry more.

***.***
Vikram was in Kumud’s room. He smiled with his sparkling eyes. “You know bacha today I’m gonna start a new journey. I so wish you were here. I can’t tell you how my every happiness feels incomplete just because you are not there” his eyes glistened more.

“Vikky” he heard Sumi’s voice and turned. She brought the white kurta he was supposed to wear. “Wherever she is. She is happy. Don’t make her sad” Sumi said smiling at him and he hugged her.

She handed him the kurta and caressed his cheek. “Did you call Ragu?” asked he. “She is on the way” Sumi nodded her head.

He walked to his room to get ready. Sumi turned to the wall where Kumud was smiling dangling her hand across Vikram at one side and Ragvi on the other side.

She caressed Kumud’s face. It felt like it will come to life now. It looked like Kumud so badly wanted to be alive for once and give her mother and bone crushing hug.

It is even difficult for the people who leave us to just leave everything like a mess. Even they suffer while they detach themselves from every materialistic things and specially from the people whom they are going to push into the darkness of sorrows. If anything was in their control then it was that they could watch the people of their life and be happy when they try to move on in their life. Because life never stops until it reaches death. And who knew this truth more than the people who have got death.

Sumi who was busy arranging things looked at the door and found Ragini. She was beyond happy. “Oh my god. I can’t tell you how much I missed you” she hugged Ragini.

Ragini who was in her own thoughts responded to the hug and controlled her painful expression. Vikram who walked towards them looked at his sister and he did not liked that emotion on her face. She covered her pain while getting out of the hug and smiled at her mother.

Sumi caressed her cheek and kissed her forehead lovingly. “You did not miss me?” Sanskar asked and Sumi smiled at him and spread her arms and he hugged her.

“You are the one who makes me feel motherly” he said and Ragini looked at her husband.

Vikram stood in front of her. She relaxed as she found him. Right now what she most required was a warm hug from her brother who will not ask her anything. She hugged him and closed her eyes tightening her hold on him.

Vikram could guess she was worried and he did not liked it. He wanted to talk to her but the situation was not right. He knew if Ragini is hiding her pain that means it is something which has disturbed her a lot.

The guest started coming and the rituals started. Neither Sanskar nor Vikram got a chance to talk to Ragini as she got herself busy with the works. And in turn it reduced her anxiety to a level.

“Ragvi… Ragini… come we will give the haldi to Sriti” Sumi called. Ragini looked at Ragvi. “Maa. You and Ragvi dee go. I will look after the guests” Ragini said and Ragvi looked at her.

“Are you sure?” asked Sumi. Ragini nodded her head smiling. Sumi walked from there along with Ragvi holding the haldi bowl.

Ragini was busy in the kitchen when she felt a hand on her waist. Sanskar dangled his hand across her and hugged her from back. “What’s wrong Mrs. Rawat?” he whispered and Ragini nodded her head smiling weakly. “I’m just a bit tired” she tried avoiding the topic.

“Haven’t I told you to not to take stress. But have you ever listened to me?” Sanskar turned her worried. He lifted her in his arms. “Sanskar what are you doing. Let me down” she asked him but he did not budge. He moved to her room and made her to sit on the bed. He held her legs and massaged it.

“What the hell are you doing?” she dragged her legs away. He glared her and dragged the legs towards him and continued massaging. “Sanskar” she whined.

Sanskar placed his head on her lap. She looked at him emotionally. “I can’t see you in little pain also. Is that bad?” he asked and she smiled kissing the side of his head. And he felt all the heavens could not give him that feeling ever.

“It is actually a sin to worry about your wife so much who is grown enough to take care of herself” she said ruffling his hair.

“I don’t care. I’m ready for a life time imprisonment also in return” he said tightening his grip on her legs. She brought his face to look into her eyes.

She kissed his forehead lovingly and he closed his eyes feeling peaceful. She touched his forehead with hers and smiled closing her eyes.

***.***

Sanskar and Ragini returned home along with Anjali. What they witnessed just baffled them. Adarsh was holding Kishan’s collar and fuming.

Pari was trying to separate them. But she was failing. Anisha and Ananya stood there crying. Ragini immediately walked to the kids and Sanskar moved to Adarsh. Anjali moved to Kishan to get him out of Adarsh’s hold.
Ragini consoled the kids and Sanskar successfully separated Adarsh and Kishan. “Bhai” he looked at Adarsh. “What is wrong with you?” asked he annoyed.

Adarsh fumed closing his eyes. “Ask this moron” he showed at Kishan. Kishan coughed to get the air. Anjali brought a glass of water for him and made him to drink that.

“He is saying he will leave all this and move to London with Maa and Papa” Adarsh spat. Sanskar who narrowed his eyes and looked at Kishan.

“How low you still want to steep low Kishan Bhai? Oh sorry Mr. Kishan Rawat” Sanskar fumed. Ragini who came out of Adarsh and Pari’s room after leaving the kids witnessed this.

“You want to break this family anyway right?” Sanskar moved to Kishan dangerously but for his surprise Anjali moved to protect him. She did not knew why she was doing that. But all these days she realized that one think she cannot do is not loving her husband. Though he was a man who did not stand for her.

“Sanskar” Ragini stood in front of him protecting Kishan. “Ragini get out of the way. You don’t know the real face of this person” Sanskar’s nostrils flared up as he watched Kishan.

“He always wanted to break this family always. And what do you think Mr. Kishan if you leave and go we cannot survive?” asked Sanskar crossing his arms.

“Sanskar please” Ragini pleaded him. “No don’t stop me today. I had held this from years. Kishan the greatest son. Kishan the Shravan kumar” Sanskar mocked and Ragini closed her eyes painfully.

“This blo*dy man know only to make our life hell. I don’t know why is he even living” Sanskar felt a sharp pain on his cheek. Annapurna fumed looking at him.

“Dare you” she showed her index finger warning Sanskar and her eyes dropped that held tear.

“Dare you ever speak like that about my son” she said fuming. “Of course. The great mother of Mr. Kishan Rawat is finally here. Why won’t be she? She has ever loved only one kid in her life that is her Shravan Kumar. Mr. Kishan Rawat” Sanskar smirked biting his lower lip to control the raising anger.

“For one second mom. Just for one second did you thought before giving birth to me that instead why don’t I kill him. Because he will be the enemy to my favorite son” Sanskar looked at his mother painfully.

In so many years he called her as mother and she can’t even be happy for that.

“Answer him maa. Answer him for every time you thought about your only kid” Adarsh stood beside Sanskar. “Stop it both of you” Durgaprasad screamed. “We won’t. Today? No way” Adarsh looked at his father.

“Was there any moment in your life that you felt that you are our mother too?” Sanskar asked his mother. She looked at him painfully.

“Stop it” they all heard Ragini’s scream. “Just don’t speak a word” she stood in front of Annapurna. “Not when you don’t know what you are inviting” she nodded her head looking furiously at Sanskar.

“You don’t know anything Ragini…” “You don’t even have an idea” she said wiping her tears.

“You don’t even have an idea what you are talking” she looked into his eyes. “What is wrong with you? She is the same person who insulted you and she was the same person who disapproved our marriage. She was the one who tried to make your life hell trying to break our marriage” Sanskar looked at his wife helplessly.

“Why will she want to break the relationship she herself built? Why?” Ragini asked him painfully and Sanskar stopped dead not able to react.

He looked at her not believing what she just spoke. “Why will she break the marriage which she herself made it happen?” Ragini moved to him and he did not answer still.

“Ragini No” Annapurna moved to Ragini and placed her hand on her shoulder. “No maa. Not today. You are not protecting them. You are pushing them to make a sin. And I can’t let them do that. At any cost” she looked at Annapurna without turning.

Everything was fuzzy. Sanskar just stood there not understanding anything.

“Look at this” she showed Annapurna’s phone to Sanskar. It was the video of their marriage shot by Avantika. His eyes widened.

“Why will she keep this tell me?” asked she. “Because she was so pained that she was not able to attend your marriage” Ragini spoke painfully.

“Sahil helped her in this. And she wore that face of stiffness” Ragini felt broken.

“Have you ever thought why a mother will hate her own kids? Why will she? She is mother. She kept you in her womb for nine damn months. All of you” she showed both Adarsh and Sanskar. “Except him” Ragini showed Kishan and everyone looked at him shocked.

“But sadly you both failed to understand her while he understood even her silence. Yes he is Shravan Kumar. You can’t even match his level. Not when you spoke such things about your mother” she looked at them furiously.

“You always complained why was she so partial towards Kishan Jethji. Because she loves him more than you. It is the fact. And it needs courage for a mother to love another kid more than her kids. I don’t think you don’t need any enlightening on that” she wiped her nose with the back of her palm.

“But she has faced harder things than that” Annapurna stood facing her nodding her head. “Please maa. Don’t stop me today” Ragini made Annapurna to move aside.

“You know what is harder than that?” Ragini asked. “Facing her own kids hatred” Ragini looked at Annapurna emotionally. “And she wanted you people to hate her because” Ragini took a deep breath. “Because she is at the last stage of Pancreatic Cancer” Ragini finally spoke and the world stopped spinning.

“No” Sanskar’s eye dropped the tear it was holding. He moved to Ragini and held her by her shoulder. “It is not true right? Tell me you are just saying it to scare us?” Sanskar asked. Ragini bit her lower lip and controlled her cry.

“I wish I could tell it. But that is the fact. She did not wanted anyone to know about it. You people had one by one many miseries to handle so she did not wanted to add on it. And when she discovered it in the last stage she had no way than making you people hate her” Ragini looked at Annapurna who closed her eyes painfully and dropping the tears. Durgaprasad stood beside her holding her by her shoulders.

Sanskar looked at his mother. His every rude behavior against her and the way he made her suffer flashed in front of his eyes and he collapsed just in front of her.

“Why do you hate me so much Maa? Didn’t I had the right to know?” asked he holding her legs. Annapurna held her son and made him stand.

“You had all the right to be happy. Not sad. I did not wanted you to suffer more. I’m sorry” she said painfully and Sanskar hugged her and burst into a bitter cry.

He wasted every moment he could have spent with his mother. And that regret just succumbed him. He dragged her more and more close.

Adarsh moved to her and stood blankly. “Ad…” “No don’t talk to me” he said showing his index finger. “How could you even thought that our hate will let us not feel the pain maa? How could you not think that the day we will know the truth will kill us. And send us to the hell where we will be trapped for eternity. Did you wished that for us? Then sorry to say this. No sorry to agree with this that you love Kishan more than us” he collapsed in her embrace and cried bitterly.

“I could not gather the courage. Courage to add more pain to your already painful life. And Kishan’s marriage was the one thing made me utilize the situation and sow the seeds of hatred in all your heart. But I could not hide it from Kishan. Without even thinking why I was doing it he stood beside me. He is dumbo. He never thinks from his mind when it is about me. And I failed. I could not hide it from him” Annapurna looked at her sons.

“We won’t let you go. Not now. Never” Sanskar looked at his mother. She nodded her head painfully. “Even I don’t want to leave you now. But it is not in my control” she said helplessly. “And Kishan was taking us for her treatment” Durgaprasad spoke.

“And don’t worry. Mom will be all okay. This is the new therapy. The doctor has assured me” he said hopefully. Sanskar and Adarsh moved to Kishan and hugged him tightly.

He smiled patting their back. “We will also come with you” Sanskar turned to face his mother. Adarsh also pleaded her.

“Ragu…” Sanskar’s heart stopped when he heard Kishan’s scream and turned to look at Ragini who fainted and Kishan prevented her from touching the ground.

Sanskar ran to him like a maniac stumbling. He looked at her face which was brimmed with tears.

“No… no… no…. Ragini get up” he patted her cheek. But she did not open her eyes. “Ragini…” he screamed.