Here is the last chapter:
She played with the strings not making it a music. Her fingers shivered as the turmoil inside her grew. Then she heard her Dadi’s voice which always soothed her but today it was not making its trick.
“Ladoo. Sing” she slightly smiled at her Dadi who was all smiles and her eyes had that hope. Again the same hope. Is she going to break it again. No she can’t do it.
Getting the correct tone of her voice she opened her lips to sing. A song which really depicted her state right now.
“Pal pal hai Bhari…. Wo Vipadha hai Ayee”
She closed her eyes and the pain in her voice flew with the music. Her heart twitched creating an unknown pain.
His every word ringed in her mind and their every moment flashed in front of her eyes. The comforting hugs, those caring kisses, those worries on the faces, those unseen tears which stopped at the edge just to make her feel better. Why can’t she get him out of her thoughts.
If she knew he wasn’t in her thoughts but in her heart flickering every string of it matching her heart beat. She took a deep alaap playing the Veena in her hand as fast as she could.
The string of the Veena wasn’t as strong as her emotions were right now. It broke hurting her finger. Finally the tear behind her eye lashes won the battle dropping down her cheek.
“Ladoo” her dadi approached her concerned and held her bleeding finger. Ragini winced in pain as her Dadi’s hand touched her wound. But that pain was nothing compared to the pain her heart was going through right now.
“You are okay” she heard a voice and looked up. Rudra was watching her hurt hand worried.
*** A few minutes ago ****
“Lado” her Dadi hugged her as soon as she entered the home. She was all confused. Her mother who was hugging Swara walked to Ragini. “Come” she helped Ragini who was walking with confusions. She was surprised to find Rudr who was there smiling at her and there was someone beside him. She was an old lady probably his mother.
But what surprised her was why was he here and with his family. He spread his smile while their eyes met. She unwillingly smiled.
When her Dadi told her that he was there to ask her hand for marriage and her Dadi was so happy about it she felt the ground underneath her slipping and she was going to fall in a pit of darkness.
Suddenly she felt the urge to crash herself to the ground. Rudra who had come with his mother was all happy that Ragini’s Dadi had no issues over the proposal. How could she had any issues when she was not aware what state her granddaughter was in now and how she was facing it.
His mother asked Ragini to sing a bhajan and which she started singing with all the tornadoes in the world hitting her heart walls and breaking every leftover piece of it.
****.****
She came to her senses when the antiseptic touched her wound and awoke all the senses of pain which were vulnerable right now.
Everything was looked like it was being rushed. “As soon as I finish talking to his Dad I will let you know” Rudra’s mother said with a wide smile while they were bidding bye.
Rudra was still worried looking at Ragini’s hand. “Rudr” his mother placed her hand on his shoulder and smiled at him. He gave her a weak smile and unwillingly walked from there.
Dadi was all smiles. She turned from the door to look at her Lado. Ragini who was staring the ground ran to her room. “Aww so shy she is” she said as she was so elated that she failed to notice the real emotion of her granddaughter. Swara who was looking at all this found it weird.
She looked at the direction Ragini went. Surely something bothered her sister and she was not wrong about it. It was just the matter of time she would find it out. But she did not get a chance to do it.
“Swara” she heard Laksh and looked at the door. She narrowed her brows finding Laksh. He wasn’t so pleased. Niether was he looked pained or worried.
“Laksh?” Sumi looked at him surprised. “Couldn’t stay away from your wife for long?” Dida teased him. He weakly smiled at her and then looked at his wife.
“She did not inform me that she was coming here” he made everyone’s gaze on Swara. She looked at everyone’s questioning gaze.
“Ohho Hubby. I called you. You were the one who was busy” she tried covering with her smile. He was about to say something when Swara interrupted him.
“Now don’t be such a Joru Ka Ghulam. Adjust without me for some days” she said and he rolled his eyes. “Wo actually na Jaan” he pressed the last word walking to her with a tight smile on his face.
“I will somehow manage. But how about your mother in law. She is not well and I hope that should be your priority right now” he smirked at her.
Swara looked at him confused. “She was all fine when I left Maheshwari Mansion” Swara said worried. “For God sake she is an old lady Swara. Her health keeps toggling” said Laksh.
“What happened to Annapurna Ji?” asked Sumi worried. “Actually slight health problem. Can I take my wife with me?” asked he suddenly.
“Of course” said Sumi slightly smiling. “Come Swara” Laksh held her hand and started walking. “But Laksh my luggage” said Swara who just followed him.
“I will tell the driver to get it in the morning. It’s not that you have the empty closet at your Sasural right?” asked Laksh. She just followed him confused.
He opened the car door and made her sit inside the car. He walked to the driver seat and sat inside the car. Tucking the seat belt he ignited the engine.
Swara kept staring him for his change in behavior. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked him. “What is wrong with you Dammit? You want to let know of every little arguments we have in our married life?” he asked banging the steering wheel.
“What? I’m making it public? You are the one who dragged me out from my Maika Laksh” she crossed her arms. “Yeah Right. And what about you let Ragini know about everything we have?” asked he rolling his eyes.
“I did not tell her anything” said Swara narrowing her eye brows. “Wait did she called you? How did you came to know about it all?” asked Swara looking at Laksh.
“It doesn’t matter how I came to know. But the real matter is you are behaving insane lately” said he. “Laksh stop the car” Swara insisted. “Not unless I reach home” he said turning the steering wheel.
“Why are you doing this to me Laksh?” she asked as the tear dropped her eye. “Because you are making me to do it” said he stiffly. She wiped the tear at the edges.
“You remember the times when you understood my pain before I spoke?” her voice was low and painful. “Sadly you have become unreadable to me Swara” he looked at her with the pain in his eyes.
“I wish you hadn’t done what you did and our family was normal” he turned his gaze to the road which was all dark. It was as dark as their life was right now.
“It wasn’t my damn mistake Laksh. It was your brother who made a way for it” she screamed controlling her paining throat.
“He was the one who was playing with the family” she said looking at him fiercely. “Swara” Laksh screamed as he banged the brakes reaching the gates.
Swara wiped her face and unlatched the seat belt and walked inside the house after getting down from the car. Sujatha and Annapurna looked at her who were serving DP and Ram the dinner. Before they could call her she just strode up the stairs to reach her room.
Laksh who was controlling his anger walked inside the home. He heard Swara banging the door. “Laksh what happened? Why Swara returned so soon?” asked Annapurna. “Wo Maa. She was not well so I thought she will feel better here” said he and walked after giving a weak smile to them.
He opened the door and looked at Swara who was sitting on bed looking down. Laksh walked to her and made her stand holding her shoulders.
“Dare you walk away when I’m talking” he looked into her eyes scaring her. “You can’t control my life alright?” she said releasing her shoulder.
“Not when you are nothing but a sincere follower of your brother plus a spineless man who can threaten his wife” Swara looked into his eyes.
“One more word against Sanskar Bhai” Laksh warned her. “You know nothing” said Laksh. “What I don’t know? Don’t know your so called Sanskar Bhai was the one who wanted to take revenge from your father, forgetting his dad was living on the realms of your father” she wiped her tear brimmed face.
“Swara” he screamed this time raising his hand. Swara closed her eyes covering her cheek with her hand fearing his move. Sujata and Annapurna who were cleaning the dining table heard it. “I will check” said Sujata walking towards Swara and Laksh’s room.
“You know the wealth you are calling my father’s would have been drained long ago if it wasn’t Sanskar Bhai’s investment in our business without his knowledge. The company my father is all proud of have been in ashes if it wasn’t for Sanskar Bhai. He was the one who was binding our family and was looking after of us without us realizing about it. But he never let it out. He still hates my dad that he is responsible for Kavitha’s death. But his hate never won the love he has for us. He is still the Sanskar Bhai I look up at and get inspired. Which family doesn’t have differences. It is the blood which binds us still and as the son of this house Sanskar Bhai has fulfilled all his duties. It was I who failed it” Laksh’s shoulder dropped with guilt.
“First when I did not thought about my family and second when I went against everyone to marry you” he looked at Swara.
“And now I regret my decision” he looked into her eyes. “I truly do” he said and walked away leaving Swara to collapse.
The situation was just getting worse. She did not knew why was everything around her was breaking.
Sujata’s eyes dropped that tear finally and she suppressed her urge to cry and collapse. As she walked to her room she felt it difficult to breath. Sanskar’s every plead passed in front of her.
Her head started spinning and in no time she did not realize what was happening around her. For a moment when she opened her eyes a blurred vision crossed her mind. “Chachi” she heard Laksh’s voice. And in next moment she again lost her senses.
“Who is calling me at this time?” Sanskar wiped his eyes to clear his blurred vision as he raised his head to look at his ringing phone. He looked at the time. It was 11 in the night. He yawned as he answered the call.
“Laksh?” he asked confused. “Bhai Chachi” the words surely stopped Sanskar’s heart beat. “Bhai Chachi” Laksh cried raising Sanskar’s anxiety. “What happened to Maa?” asked Sanskar getting up. “She is in hospital. City Hospital” said Laksh in between his sobs. “What?” Sanskar screamed hopping out of his bed. “I will be there” he disconnected the call.
Grabbing his car keys he walked to the parking and drove his car towards the hospital. His eyes were trying to not to drop the tears.
****.*****
She doesn’t know when sleep covered her. She had been crying silently letting out all the tears. She opened her eyes and the Kajal across her eyes had smudged. She wiped her face and walked to the wash room. She had replied to Sumi that she was not hungry when she came for calling Ragini for dinner.
She looked at her face in the mirror. Splashing a lot of water on her face she looked again that defeated face of her. A image of her own appeared behind her. She turned to face it. It was her inner self.
“Why are you crying now Ragini? This is your own decision isn’t it?” she looked down not able to answer her inner self.
“It was your own decision to run away from Sanskar. It was your own decision to accept this alliance. Then why are you crying? Do you love Sanskar?” Ragini looked up to find her inner self smirking at her.
“I don’t love him” she said looking at the ground. “Your eyes say you love him Ragini. How much ever you deny the fact is you have loved only person in your life and that’s Sanskar” Ragini looked up shocked.
“Accept it” she closed her eyes frustrated. “I don’t love him and I will never” she said avoiding looking straight into the eyes.
“You may tell a lie but listen to that heart beat which has rose to 1000 times just hearing his name. Remember the time you feel lost in his eyes. Remember the times when his touch makes you a new you. Remember the effects his words has on you. He can make you feel best in your worst time and you say you don’t love him? Whom are you trying to fool yourself?” she couldn’t hold it anymore.
“Yes yes I love him. I love him and only him. It feels hell when he pushed me away. It hurts when I realize that only I love him he doesn’t feel the same way. It breaks me to think that he will let me go because the man I love doesn’t love me back” she collapsed on the floor.
“He doesn’t love me. He doesn’t” her voice lost it’s intensity as her pain engulfed her leaving her crumbled like a useless piece of paper.
She had fallen for Sanskar so deeply that returning from there looked almost impossible. She could not break her Dadi’s heart though whose excitement made her realize though her Dadi looked so strong withing she was vulnerable and was weakening day by day.
Her marriage could return the strength and faith her Dadi had lost. Though the marriage meant death of her feelings. Death of her emotions. Death of her faith in fate. Death of that blessing called life.
She was ready to face it. She was ready to accept it. If she knew it wasn’t as it looked. Not when she had real feelings for someone. The first of their kind.
*****.******
Finally got time to upload this.
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