HATE ? REALLY (A RagSan Fanfiction) Chapter 33

Ragini swallowed the sore lump and took a deep breath which was highly audible. No she can’t let the fear win this time. It is not just about her. It was even about the person she loved. SANSKAR.

She straightened her head and further neared her family which was not currently aware what tides gonna take them to a new journey.

“Dadi” Ragini looked at Parvati. With every ounce of confidence she had and stepped on something which was holding her back crushing it to death.

“I…” she was interrupted by a ring on Shekar’s phone. The family members eyes drifted from Ragini to Shekar’s phone. He answered the call and before even he could say his heart shrunk.

Before he could even say something further he was baffled. All were looking at him confused. He stood up and the phone slipped out of his hand.

“Shekar” Sumi neared him while he collapsed back on the couch like a defeated man. “Baba” Ragini moved to him quickly and so did the other family members.

“Shona” he whispered and the tear tripped out of his eye. Now their heart felt dead. Aren’t the emotions just stronger than any language to communicate. His emotions just made them feel something wasn’t right and the thought of that possible bad thing was making the situation worse.

“What happened to Shona?” Sumi asked as the tears started their journey to die out of her eye. “She…” he pulled his hair frustrated not able to form the words.

“She tried end her life” he said and Sumi collapsed back. Before she could hit the table behind Ragini held her. “Maa” she said concerned. “Shona” Sumi cried bitterly. “I want to see her now” she looked at Ragini and she nodded her head biting her lower lip to control that cry to escape.

She needed to be strong now. For the sake of her family. They rushed to Maheshwari Mansion as soon as possible.

Shekar’s blood boiled when he saw Laksh standing in the hall with his head down and broken. He pounced on Lakshya grabbing his collar.

“What did you do to my daughter?” he asked as the fire inside his eyes burned. Ragini moved to get a hold of her father. Sanskar held Laksh and tried to drag him away from Shekar but it was not as easy as it looked.

“Shekar” Dadi moved to drag him away and finally they were successful. Sumi released herself from Dida’s hold and rushed to Swara’s room. She was hell worried.

“You promised to keep my daughter happy right? Then what made her to take this step?” Shekar growled like a hurt animal. “Dad” Ragini controlled her tears and rubbed his chest to relax him.

“Why did you do this?” asked Shekar helplessly. “You could have simply left her at our home. I did not mind taking care of her all life than seeing her like this” Shekar collapsed and Ragini held him. She nodded her head painfully looking at him.

“I’m okay maa. Let me see dad” Swara walked down the stairs with Sumi and Sujata’s help. Her wrist was covered with a bandage.

“Shona” Shekar moved to Swara cupping her face he dragged her to a bone crushing hug. “Why?” he whispered painfully. “Why did you even thought of hurting yourself like this? Do you even realize how much have you scared me? I don’t want to lose after just finding you” he said rocking her in his embrace.

“I’m okay dad” she said and Shekar made her sit on the couch. She coughed tired. Annapurna brought a glass of water for her.  She looked at her mother in law once and held the glass and gulped the water down her throat.

“Why did you do that?” Ragini asked kneeling beside her sister and looking helplessly.

“I had no choice” she looked at her sister with tears filled eyes. “Because I had no choice Ragini” he repeated and this time the tear fell down losing the battle.

“Because the man I loved” she looked at Lakshya who drifted his gaze away. “Oh sorry. The man whom I thought loved me made me a but of joke. He reduced me to nothing. He just made me feel that tiny that I could no more find myself” she brought her hands near her chest as the broken pieces of her heart hurt.

“Swara. The Swara who never was so vulnerable. Who fought this world like a warrior. Who took all those humiliations regarding my bloodline like I give a damn to the world” she closed her eyes and Shekar clenched his fist imagining her plight.

“He reduced me to nothing Ragini. Nothing. Those humiliations never hurt me you know why? Because I never knew those blo*dy tongues which were speaking all that to me. But” she looked at Laksh.

“But today I lost it. I lost myself. I lost that confidence that I had because today I was made to feel that I was a bad choice. I was a bad….” she pursed her lips.

Ragini caressed her sister’s hair. She dragged Swara to a warm hug. “You are not staying here anymore” Shekar held Swara.

“Shekar Ji what are you talking about? You just can’t do that” Annapurna stood in front of him.

“I have every blo*dy right to take my daughter away from here. The place which can’t just protect her self respect” he said confidently.

“Why don’t you term it as the place which don’t fuel her pride?” Sanskar shrugged his shoulders. Ragini looked at him and so did everyone.

“Sorry. My sarcasm just can’t understand the muhurat logic” he crossed his arms.

“It ain’t a joke” Ragini spoke sternly. “I did not say it is one. Did I ha ha ha ha laugh? No right so don’t think from my brain” he gave her a tight smile.

Ragini took a deep breath to give him a nasty look again. “Why will you even care Jeth ji? Even if I’m dying? You are all happy that I won’t be on your path to reach my sister. But remember one thing I’m here right here as a shield to protect her” Swara stood in front of Ragini.

“Shut up Swara” Laksh looked at her. “I am not talking to you” she showed her palm to him. “We are over Mr. Lakshya Maheshwari. We are over” she fumed.

“I feel like partying. Finally my brother is free to do what he really wants to” Sanskar said mocking. “Stop it Sanskar” Ragini warned him.

Swara smirked. “And I am free to keep my sister away from your blo*dy revenge plans” she gave herself a nod.

“What plans?” Shekar asked moving to her. “Sanskar Jeth ji is trying to woe my sister for a marriage. So that he can take revenge of his deceased would be wife” Swara cleared.

Sanskar fumed clenching his fist. “One more time.” he gritted his teeth.

“One more time you call my feelings for Ragini as revenge. Don’t take the risk again to cut your wrist sister in law. I will happily strangulate you and give a easy death” Sanskar smirked.

“Whom are you fooling Jeth ji? The people here very well what kind of a monster you are and they very well know you can stoop any low” she said nodding her head.

“Swara” Laksh moved and slapped her hard. “I have told you. Not a word against Sanskar Bhai. Not a word” he said warning.

“Are you happy now snatching everything from me Jeth ji? Are you?” she looked at Sanskar.

“Gosh woman. Get that blo*dy thought out of your mind. Though I would be the happiest to cause you all this but to be true you are digging your own grave. It’s not me” he squeezed his eyes.

“Stop” Ragini tried to interfere.

“You are the one who caused every bad thing in my life. You are the one who snatched everything from me. You and you alone” Swara spoke with the paining throat.

“Not again” Sanskar rolled his eyes frustrated. “You know what. You need help. You have gone insane” he twitched his jaw  nodding.

“And you made me one” she bent trying to hold herself. “You did everything to screw my life” she patted his chest with her index finger.

“You can never ever be a good man. Never. And you are bad choice for my sister. I won’t let her regret. You don’t care for her. You don’t care for anyone. What you all care is your blo*dy revenge” she gave him a disgusting look.

“I LOVE HER…. I LOVE RAGINI” he screamed so that the world could hear his words. His heart.

“And don’t you dare… don’t you dare to name it with other names. Yes I was blinded by revenge when I came here. I did nasty things. But she changed me. She killed that monster inside me. And I could not stop myself from loving her. I could not” he said more precisely made it clear.

Shekar charged at him and was about to slap him when he felt a hold.

He looked shocked at his daughter. “No Papa” she nodded her head. “No” she said looking at him helplessly.

“Lado?” he looked at her dazed. “Lado… why are you stopping your father. This man is talking nonsense. You belong to someone else. Someone who loves you. Not to him” Dadi pointed at Sanskar holding Ragini.

Ragini released herself from her Dadi’s hold. “See Marwaran. Haven’t I told you it isn’t the way it looks. Your granddaughter is on a wrong path. She is proving her character” Dida spoke sharply.

Sanskar fumed clenching his fist. Ragini looked at it and held his hand. She then turned to Dida.

“Yes Dida it proves my character. It proves. Because I am accepting my love. I’m accepting that I can’t marry someone else when I love Sanskar. And that is my character” she said determined.

Dadi moved and slapped Ragini. Ragini held her cheek and looked at her Dadi. Parvati had tears in her eyes. She did not give this upbringing to her Lado. Where did she fail?

“I’m sorry Dadi. I…” Ragini gulped the saliva in. “I did not wanted this to come out like this. Trust me. I wanted to tell you” she folded her hands in front of her Dadi.

“When did you planned to tell me? Just when you reached the mandap in front of the whole society?” asked Dadi holding Ragini by her elbow.

“No Dadi…” she nodded her head. “This man has completely manipulated you” Dadi hissed in anger looking at Sanskar.

“No Dadi. He has not. The truth is I love him and only him” she said looking at her Dadi bending her head.

She released herself from her Dadi’s hold. Shekar held her hand and dragged her away from Sanskar. Sanskar watched Ragini painfully.

Was this the end?’ his mind spoke scaring him.

“Because I can’t see you breaking yourself and hurting yourself while you collect those broken pieces” his words rang in her mind like she was actually replaying the past.

She stopped dead. So did Shekar. He turned to look at his daughter who suddenly looked like she was someone else.

She nodded her head painfully looking at her father. Hoping he will understand her.

“I can’t live without her” Sanskar stood just behind her and looked into Shekar’s eyes. “Then die” Shekar snapped at him.



“Papa” Ragini she called him. But Shekar was blinded by his rage right now. He had no intention to look at the things like they were.

“Either he or us Ragini” all her family stood at her one side and Sanskar alone on the other side.



Was she ready to do this? To lose everything.

“I will always choose him dad” she said finally and Shekar’s hand dropped Ragini’s wrist like it said all.

She turned to Sanskar who was helpless and all alone. “I never even looked into someone’s eyes before you came into my life. And whenever I stared in your eyes I never had that fear. But I had a wish. Wish to drown myself in them. I did not minded dying” he moved to close her mouth. He touched her forehead with his.

She moved his hand.

“I’m taking away everything away from you. I’m separating everyone from you” he said feeling helpless.

“But you are with me. And I’m ready to go against everyone in my life. Because I love you Sanskar. I love you” she cried closing her eyes.

Sanskar could feel her pain. He cupped her face and rubbed her cheek with his thumb trying to make her feel a bit relaxed.

Ragini wiped her face and looked around. She walked to the mandir and brought the Vermilion.

She forwarded it in front of Sanskar. He looked at her shocked.

“You know what you are doing right?” he asked her nearing. “I was never this sure in my life” She held his thumb inside the red amorphous solid and dragged that line of eternal togetherness on her hairline and declared that she is not going away from him at any cost.

All were too shocked to react. She turned to look at her family and walked to stand beside Sanskar. Locking her hands with his she felt a new self.

“I can’t live without him either” she said determined. “So you are ready to live without us?” Shekar asked.

“I did not said that Dad. I don’t know whether I ever really lived all my life. I might have been a walking dead. But when he is around me and stands with me and protects me from everything which hurts me I feel I really lived. I really lived when he was around me. I really did” she nodded her head and Sanskar’s hold on her hand tightened and he smiled looking at Ragini.

“I don’t know I have never told what I feel to anyone. I could never tell. But I just just just speak every little feeling of mine like he is my soul. Like I’m talking to myself. I don’t know if I can just name it as plain as love but this is special dad. It is what I never ever felt in my life. Dad it is my life” she said trying to convince him.

“I don’t know it is right or wrong. I don’t know I will become bad if I do this. But what I really care is I love him and I want to be with him. Not just for now. For forever. May that forever lasts for a lifetime or for a year or just for a second. I don’t mind the time. I don’t really mind” she nodded her head.

Shekar looked at her like she was not the Ragini he ever knew.

“You know sometimes I really don’t revert. Not because the person is right about me. And not because I can’t. But I simply don’t really want to revert and try to make someone to understand what they really don’t want to” she looked at Dida.

“I’m no Mahan. I’m not the purest soul alive. I have bad things too inside me. And when it is for him I gather all those bad things inside me to revert” she smiled through her sparkling eyes.

“Nobody is perfect. Even I’m not and even he is not. But we are perfect for each other. Just like every obvious thing” she looked at her dad raising her head.

“I have finally found someone whom I love dad and” she inhaled a sharp breath. “Who loves me back” she said and felt his lips on the side of her head. A caring gesture.

“And I don’t want to commit the same mistake you did. I don’t want to marry someone else when I know that I love Sanskar and only him. I love all of him just the way he is. A bit cracked self praising jerk. But my jerk” she chuckled looking at him and shook their hands and kissed his hand.

He looked at her and tears just flew out of his eyes.

Nobody stood for him like this. Nobody ever loved him like this. With this madness. May be his madness was nothing in front of Ragini’s madness.

She became a confident Ragini again for him and he knew she will never fall in that pit of low esteem ever. Because now he will never let her to.

He will be beside her holding her hands firmly.

“And today is the day I lost my pothi. My Lado” Dadi spoke controlling her flooding emotions.

Ragini looked at her Dadi helplessly. “She died” Dadi said fuming.

“She just died” she repeated before storming out of the Maheshwari Mansion.

Shekar looked at his daughter. “I would have stood with you. I would have stood with you for anyone except him. Not when he snatched you away from us” Shekar turned and followed his mother.

Sumi moved to Ragini and caressed her hair lovingly. “I’m proud of you bacha. Because you stood for yourself. For your love” she kissed Ragini’s forehead blessing her.

Swara who was still in a state of non recoverable shock just blinked her eyes. So did the Maheshwaris. It looked like they were all stopped by time.

“Why did you do this?” Durgaprasad stood in front of Sanskar. “And I will never accept this marriage” he fumed. “She was supposed to be your Bha…” “She is not. She did not become one. She is now Mrs Sanskar Maheshwari” he stopped Durgaprasad from blurting further.

“You aren’t God. Neither you are the registrar who registers marriages. I know qualification issues” Sanskar mocked.

“I don’t give a damn who is not approving this marriage” he flung his hand across Ragini’s shoulder confidently.

“Sanskar” Ramprasad came to defend his brother. “I respect you Dad for your faith towards your brother. But I hate it that he doesn’t deserve it” Sanskar gave a sorry look to his father.

“Get out of my house” Durgaprasad screamed.

“Happy to. I own two more residents.” he walked but Ragini placed her hand on his chest. He looked at her confused.

“For Maa” she said and his face lit up with a smile. “Actually Bade Papa. It is not your alone property. I have equal rights. So if you want to throw me out? Do it legally” he shrugged his shoulder and mocked Durgaprasad.

Durgaprasad could no more revert. He just strode up the stairs to reach his room furiously. So did all the family members. Ragini and Sanskar stood there like a new battle had begun in their life.

“Come” Sanskar took her to his room. “It’s a mess” he looked at her before opening the door. She walked inside and arranged it quickly. She sat on the bed immersed in thought.

“Dance?” Sanskar forwarded his hand. She gave him are you kidding me look. “Come on. You will feel better trust me” he said and she placed her hand on his palm.

He dragged her with a quick move which made her collapse on his hard chest.

“I love when you crash into me like this” he smiled making her blush.

I found a love for me… darling just dive right in….And follow my lead

She placed her other hand on his shoulder and they moved with the music.
Well I found a girl beautiful and sweet 
I never knew you were the someone waiting for me
Cause we were just kids when we fell in love

Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time
But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own
And in your eyes you’re holding mine

Baby, I’m dancing in the dark with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight

She placed her chin on his shoulder like she was tired. Tired of everything around. He moved his head to touch her head.



“Nothing stays the way it is forever . You just need to give time and it ain’t be any easy” he whispered in her ear.

“I finally know what I have to do in my life” she moved closer to him.



*****.****
Ragini lied beside Sanskar on his bed and he caressed her hair. “Why is it all feeling just right?” she asked and he kissed her hair.

“Because it is just right” he whispered and she covered him in her arms and cuddled in his embrace.



****.*****

Fingers crossed.

I don’t know it is good or just average. Confused me always. ????

Love

Sally ?