If only…. (Ishqbaaz)

Fellow Ishqbaazians,

This is my first attempt at writing so bear with me for any mistakes.
This is the continuation scene after dadi throws tia outta shivaay’s room as per my imagination. Lets dive into it now.
Terminolgy: D-Dadi; A-Annika; Shivaay; T-Tia; M-Marriage; DV-Divorce
D : No,don go A.This is ur home.
A: How can it b wen this is nt real M. We dont acknowledge it neither do we accept it.
S : And whats the use of making A stay here and doing all the rasams when ter is gonna be a DV ASAP?
Not wanting to be left out A retorted with perfect calm “after tat it will b like nothing happened. Hey na Mr.Oberoi?

S jz tightened his lips and looked at D as if to urge her to drop the matter.And true to her form dadi asked,
D- Accha!! So do u know ter will be a DV, annika?
While S continued to stare @ D getting suspicious of her tone,A jz nodded warily.
D- so then y didn’t u accept wen S told u abt tis M? U hv always been a saviour to tis family.u always help us.He didn’t have to resort to threaten sahil.y did he went tat far? Y did u resist? After all u know ter will be a divorce.
A jz blinked and turned towards S who is struggling to come up wid an ans.D smiled and said softly,”if tis generation girl like u is hesitant to make a mockery out of a M, how can u expect me to? Billu,u married right girl in wrong way but u still did it.Till u dissolve this M it will treated as M.No other way”.

S: but D…
D: Buz. Bohot hogaya.am tired. And who can blame me wen am surrounded by imbeciles?
After giving both of them a deathly glare she made her royal exit.
Annika’s POV
What now? I know M is nt 2 b taken lightly but I cant see how I can make myself stay here after what I jz saw (S and T embracing).He luvs her, he really does or he won’t behave like tat.or am I naive?
She starts massaging her splitting head. This turmoil is making me unhealthy.No proper food, sleep. I cant even look after sahil properly.
Gulping tears tat begged to b released she turned away continuing her inner talk.
Am jz a mess.y cant I bring myself outta this pitfall?y am I getting hurt every time he does something? Yes, I cared, but tat was b4 he broke my trust.He used me . He mangled me as an uncaring boy wud do a doll.and I cant even get outta this mansion.wer did my strength go? Y am I so wrung out?

As if to boost herself up she mumbled out loud “its nt a real M and he is nt my husband”.
Already irritated, S cant abide her mumblings as well.Taking a step towards her he snapped, “am nt saying anything different. Jz go and sleep.its jz for few days.D doesn’t understand how smooth DV can go when its mutually beneficial. Then I get to marry T and u can enjoy ur well earned money”.
A blinked, sure she misunderstood and stared dumbly at him. Goaded beyond endurance he said grimly, “am talking abt the money am paying u”.she stupidly asked,”my salary?”.

S:(smirking) if u can call it tat.
“But am nt working anymore….”, she said somewhat dazedly until she grasped his meaning.It was like a red herring to her already boiling emotions.
A: I’ve been constantly belittled, humiliated, hated, treated as if am a damn robot but this is taking it too far.if u don’t want a hysterical woman on ur hands u better keep tat smart mouth shut.
S: wah!!! As if I dont know u better.
A: u dont know me at all.
S:oh really! U r effectively saying u don’t want the money? I find it hard to believe.

On the verge of snapping y not, she hung back suddenly remembering his accusation of whoring herself. S saw the dramatic way her face drained of color and took a step towards her in alarm.she immediately stepped back.
Mightily offended, he retorted, “wat? No snappy comeback? But then u know, I know u.wat can u possibly say?”
Her hand went to her heart unknowingly and started massaging the sharp pain tat lodged ter like a spike, unaware his eyes followed the movement.
A:yes.wat can I possibly say? If u can think tat abt me wat more can I say? Y do u think I will even try? Trust is an important thing in literally every relationship. I saw ur family as mine.u as my friend.i even understand y and how u can do all these things. U r wrong yes but I can see how goaded u got, how u see its all right.but my mistake was thinking u knew me as well.if after all tat happened b/w us, u still can go ahead and think gutter thots abt me wat hope I have to make u believe me, wen I dont even see the need to do so? U shud trust me on ur own.
Shivaay, his metallic gaze fixed on her hand at the heart, said calmly,” u need to sleep”. Her eyes flickered in hurt and she turned away thinking he didn’t even consider the issue worth discussion.S jz closed his eyes unable to see her defeated stance. If only…..

Shivaay’s POV
Y am I feeling this restless? And to confound it all I feel guilty. Of all the!!!….she is nt some fragile flower. I saw her materialistic way of living. I blo*dy well saw it. I was the fool who believed her even after my childhood friend told the truth.But I saw her accepting tat cursed 15L. I saw her saying she slept well in tat room.now she has the utter gall to say I shud trust her on my own.
When he relieved the pain he felt on that god_awful day, he wanted to kill her. But his rage was mainly at himself.he knew better but he still gave her the power to mutilate him. He had kept her on a damn pedestal.

POV
Self respecting independent woman indeed!! My foot! Even if she can rationalise tat she slept with her fiancee, how can she take money for tat? He,who doesn’t allow any1 except his family close to his heart,had started letting her into his inner circle.called her family despite his khoon kaandhaan principles. Respected her.looked after her.Dear God, I literally followed her everywhere wen she is n OM.i never even had eyes for any1 wen she is in the room.I thot she is one of a kind.I thot not everything has a price.but she proved me wrong.made me feel disgusted for the way I behaved around her like a lovesick puppy.she shook my confidence at the ability to judge people.she made me realise tat only ur own people can b trusted.So when money plays such a crucial part in her life y wont I utilise it? Its useful both ways.i saved my family’s reputation and she earned some more money.
He firmed his lips and said thats that.He turned around and saw her sitting tiredly by the pool staring into the void. And that fast his hardwon calm evaporated. He looked ready to kill. wanted to shout at her to stop looking so forlorn.
POV
Dear God!! Whats happening to me? How can she still affect me? This constant feeling of pain, rage, guilt is gonna be the death of me.this slip of a girl!. The sooner she is outta my life, the better. I can then go ahead as planned, no deviations.
And taking a last look at her, he moved to his bed thinking she looked like this once.On a rainy day. On an icy road.As if her life essence is oozing out of her.Tat stopped him in his tracks. He whirled around automatically starting towards her.
His mind went blank and restarted with vengeance. He had a uncanny sensation of looking at himself from inside.When a girl couldn’t accept blank cheque in lieu of her self respect, wud she lower herself for a paltry 15L? For the 1st time, a tiny doubt seeped into his fertile mind. He distantly felt something like fear.what if he is wrong? Wat if ter is some other explanation? His heart started pumping so furiously, he thot its a mini miracle its still safe inside his chest. He realised tat little fear is trying to turn itself into a full blown panic.

“No no no. I cant b wrong. I saw them. i saw them both thru my own eyes. I cant b mistaken” he said trying to calm himself.
But some inner demon demanded what if u r wrong, shivaay?wat can u possibly do to rebuild the trust? How will u right her life? He sat slumped on his bed, his hands clutching his aching head, sure he is going mad. Bcos of her. Bcos for her…….

Comments will be appreciated even if its bad.feel free…jz dont bash too much guys