Ishqbaaz OS- Shivika Married Life

Hi guys, this is Luna again back with an OS on Ishqbaaz. This OS is about Shivika’s married life. Point to be noted, this OS is a spoof on the show and it’ll make fun if the characters. This OS is in Hindi, but I have also given English translations, though the translations aren’t perfect. I’ve changed it in some places for more accuracy as per convenience.

Intro: In this OS, I’m showing what will happen when Shivika will realize that they love each other and accept each other in their lives.

Scene 1: Anika is in her room, looking in the mirror, combing her hair. Shivaye comes from behind and touches Anika’s navel. Anika turns into cute little shy girl and starts blushing.
Anika(blinking her eyes at a heart beat in shame giving a more than needed smile) : Ye aap kya kar rahe hai?? Koi dekh lega.
{Anika(blinking her eyes at a heart beat in shame giving a more than needed smile) : What are u doing??? Someone will see}

Shivaye(giving a cute little smile): Mujhe bikhre baal bahut ache lagte hain…tum inhe aise hi rakho na.
{Shivaye(giving a cute little smile): I really like scattered hair…u keep them like this only}

Anika(face turning into red, because of too much blush): Sach me?? Apko mere baal itne ache lagte hain.
{Anika(face turning into red, because of too much blush): Really?? U really like my hair}

Shivaye; haan, Anika, (SSO starts flipping her hair)..mujhe tumhari zulfe, Om ki zulfo se bhi zyada achhe lagte hain. Inhe aise hi rakhna, main tumhare liye Om ka shampoo bhi lakar de doonga, aur Om se tum kuch tips bhi le lena apne baalon ke liye
{Shivaye; yes, Anika, (SSO starts flipping her hair)….I like your tresses, more than Om’s tresses. Keep them like this only. I’ll also bring Om’s Shampoo for u, and u also take some tips from Om for your hair}

Anika: ye kaha aap baalo aur shampoo ki baat karne lag gaye(Anika again starts blushing)…chaliye na, do se teen hote hain.

{Anika: why u have started talking about hair and shampoos(Anika again starts blushing)….c’mon na, lets turn into three from two}
Shivaye(smiling): arre pagli, main nahi chahta ki hamare beech mein koi teesra aaye.
{Shivaye(smiling): Anika.. u crazy girl, I don’t want anyoneto come between us}

Anika(innocently): Arre main bachhe ki baat kar rahi thi, apko nahi lagta hamare ghar ek chota sa, nanha sa Billu aaye, jiski aakhe apki tarah kanji ho aur apki tarah hi har baat par tadi maarta ho.
{Anika(innocently): Arre, I was talking about a baby, don’t u think that a Billu should come in our home, who has cat eyes just like u and shows attitude all the time like u}

Shivaye(grinning): Main to ek nanhi si paanika chahta hoon, jo baat baat par paani phekti ho aur mujhe Hindi ke pyare pyare shabd sikhaye, jaise mich michi, kanji, tadi….kitni cute hain ye words na.
{Shivaye(grinning): I toh want a little paanika, who throws water all the time and teaches me sweet words of Hindi like michmichi , kanji, tadi….how cute these words are}

Anika: Apko toh abhi cute lag rahe hain, pehle toh apko kaisi michmichi hoti thi ye words sunne par.
{Anika: you find them cute now, but before, u felt so disgusted hearing that}

Shivaye: Arre uss wakt main apni tadi mein tha, mujhe toh pata bhi nahi tha ki mujhe tumse, meri paanika se pyar ho gaya hain.
{Shivaye: Arre that time I was showing my attitude, I didn’t even knew that I fell in love with u, my paanika}

Anika(blushing): par mujhe toh apse pehli nazar mein hi pyar ho gaya tha.
{Anika(blushing): But I fell in love with u at the first sight itself}

Shivaye(giving a wide smile): chal jhooti!!! Pyar ho gaya that toh meri kaach ka sheesha kyun toda???
{Shivaye(giving a wide smile): Liar!!! I u fell in love with me then why did u broke my windshield}

Anika(shyly): arre wo toh main apko dikha rahi thi ki mujhe bhi tadi marna aata hain….apko impress karne ki koshish kar rahi thi main, lekin aap impress hone ki jagah depress ho gaye…aap bhi na, ek number ke billu ho…kya zaroorat thi phone patakne ki.
{Anika(shyly): Arre wo, I was showing u that I can also show attitude…I was trying to impress u…but of becoming impressed, u became depressed…u r such a Billu…what was the need to break the phone}

Shivaye: arre wo toh mera signature step hain…Oberoi industries ki phone ki factory hain na, main waha se har mahine phone churata rehta hu, aur aise hi patakta rehta hoon tadi maarne ke liye…. Par ha, bade papa ko yeh mat batana.
{Shivaye: Arre that is my signature step…Oberoi industries has a factory of phones….Every month I steal phones from there, and then I break them like this, to show attitude…. But ya, don’t tell this bade papa}

Anika(excitedly): Aap bhi na, kitne chant hai(Shivika do a hi-fi) par apne naa mujhe bahut rulaya bhi hain(Anika turning complaintbaaz)…itni bhi kya zaroorat thi tadi marne ki, zabardasti mujhse shaadi kar li, aur Media ke samne us Cheapdi Tia ko apni biwi bata dia.
{Anika(excitedly): you…are so smart(Shivika do a hi-fi) but have made me cry alot(Anika turning complaintbaaz)…what was the need to show so much attitude…You married me by force, and then Infront of media…u showed that Cheapdi Tia as your wife}

Shivaye: mujhe maaf kardo Anika, main jaanta hoon ki main ek number ka gadha hoon….hamesha apni tadi main rehta hoon aur bahut saari kaand kar deta hoon,main iske liye bahut sharminda hoon… aur aisa nahi hain ki aage kaand nahi karoonga, aage bhi kaand karoonga par uss waqt tum muje kaan ke neeche ek laga dena, toh meri akal thikane aa jayegi.
{Shivaye: Plz forgive me Anika, I know that I’m a donkey…I always throw my weight around and create a lot of troubles, I’m very guilty for that… and it’s not that I’ll not create troubles in future, I’ll do that in future too but that time u can slap me and I’ll come back in my senses}

Anika: na baba na… pichli baar jab apko kaan ke niche lagaya tha, toh apka ekdum naya roop samne aa gaya tha. Kaise aap insan se bagad billa ban gaye the…agli baar maara, toh kahi aap bhoot prêt na ban jaye.
{Anika: no no no….Last time I slapped u, then I saw a completely different version of u….how u turned into a constipated cat from a human…if I slapped u next time, then God forbid, if u turned into a ghost??}

Shivaye: Anika…uss waqt mujhe kaha pata tha ki mujhe bagad billi se pyar ho gaya hain, par ab toh muje pata hain na…aur tumse shaadi karke maine apni zindagi ka sabse bada deal crack kia hain, Dadi theek kehti thi, rab sachmuch chahta tha ki main tumse zabardasti shaadi karne ka kaand karu aur tum meri galtiyon ko sudharo.
{Shivaye: Anika…that time I didn’t even knew that I was in love with u, but now I know na…and I cracked my life’s biggest deal by marrying u…Dadi was right…God really wanted me to marry u forcefully and u correct my mistakes}

Anika: Haan, aur main apne swachh bharat abhiyaan mein kamyaab bhi rahi…dekho na aap kitne sudhar gaye ho.
{Anika: yeah, and I was also successful in my Clean India Campaign…see…how much tamed u have became}

Shivaye: Sahi kaha tumne….kitna sudhar gaya hoon main, ab tadi bhi kam marne lag gaya hoon.
{Shivaye: u said right….how much tame I have became, now I even show less attitude}

Anika: ab Chaliye na ji…do se teen hote hain….mujhe Billu ke saath khelna hain.
{Anika: Now c’mon…lets make a baby… want to play with Billu}

Shivaye: theek hain, ab tum itni zid kar rahi ho toh…par Billu nahi, Paanika aayegi….
{Shivaye: okay…as your wish…but not Billu, Paanika will come}

Anika: Jee nahi Billu aayega…shart laga lo.
{Anika: Nope…Billu will come…I bet that}

Shivaye: Lag gayi shart. (Oh God!!!! So much cheesy romance, I’ll puke.)
{Shivaye: Fine…bet is on}

Shivika go in the bed and cover themselves in the blanket…..

Next scene: Err… Censor cut…explicit material…not for kids…It’s a family show, so lets move to next scene.

And then, one year later……Shivka have a baby boy and they name him Billu. He also has Kanji eyes like his father

Scene 2: Shivaye in his room, working on his laptop. Anika enters.
Anika: saara din aap bas laptop mein baithe rehte hain ji.
{Anika: whole day, u only sit with this Laptop}

Shivaye(giving a smile): Anika….tumhe pata hain na….agar main kaam nahi karoonga toh Oberoi Empire ke stocks gir jayenge
{Shivaye(giving a smile): Anika…you know na…If I’ll not work, then Oberoi Empire stocks will come down}

Anika(shouts in anger): stocks stocks stocks, pak gayi hoon ye sun sun ke….Shaadi karni thi toh in stocks se hi kar lete na, mujhse kyun ki?? Oh!!! Main toh bhool hi gayi…stocks ke liye hi toh kit hi mujhse shaadi.
{Anika(shouts in anger): stocks stocks stocks, I’m sick hearing this…If u wanted to marry, then why didn’t u get married with these stocks only, why u married me??? Oh!!! I forgot…u married me because of these stocks only}

Shivaye(starts playing his game, making puppy face, showing his kanji eyes to hypnotize Anika, speaks up in an emotionally choked voice): ye tum kya bol rahi ho Anika, tumhe pata hain na, main tumse pyar karta hoon…plz aise mat bolo.
{Shivaye(starts playing his game, making puppy face, showing his kanji eyes to hypnotize Anika, speaks up in an emotionally choked voice): what are u saying Anika??? U know na, that I love u a lot…Plz don’t say like that}

Anika(fuming in anger): band karo apna natak, aur apni kanji aankhon se mujhe behkane ki koshish mat karo…inhi kanji aankhon ke jaal mein main phas gayi thi….shaadi se pehle jab bhi aapki kanji aankhen dekhti thi, aisa lagta tha swarg mein hoon, aapse shaadi karne ke baad pata chala, kis narak mein aa gayi hoon.
{Anika(fuming in anger): stop your drama, and don’t try to seduce me with your cat eyes….I fell in the trap of these cat eyes only…before marriage, whenever I saw your cat eyes, I felt like I’m in heaven and after marrying u, I came to knew that I’ve entered a hell}

Shivaye(about to cry): ye tum kaisi baatein kar rahi ho…hum toh ek doosre se bahut pyar karte the na??? hum dono ne vaada kiya tha, ki saari zindagi haath pakad ek saath mein tadi maarenge….
{Shivaye(about to cry): what are you saying??? We loved each other a lot na??? We promised each other, that we’ll always stay together, and all our lives we’ll throw our weight around}

Anika(angry): tumhari iss tadi par hi toh main fida ho gayi thi, jab pehli baar dekha tha, toh aisi hero wali entry maari thi tadi maarte hue, main bhi pagal thi…khud ko heroine samajh rahi thi….abhi bhi jab dekho tadi maarte rehte ho…kyun ji, kisi aur ko ladki impress karna hain kya…grrr.
{Anika(angry); Your this attitude made me love u, when I first saw u, u made such a larger than life hero entry showing your attitude…I was also mad….I thought myself as a heroine….now also, u keep on showing your attitude…why, do you have to impress any other girl??? Grrr..}

Shivaye(with a scared face): arre nahi nahi…main aisa kabhi nahi kar sakta….I am a one woman man…..main tumhare alawa aur kisi ladki ke saath sambandh nahi rakhne ke baarre mein soch bhi nahi sakta.
{Shivaye(with a scared face): no no no….I can never do that…I am a one woman man….I can’t even think of keeping any relation with any other girl except u}

Anika(taunting): achha!!!! Toh kya Mallika aur wo cheapdi Tia asmaan se tapke the??? OmRu ne na mujhe tumhari saari harkaton ke bare mein bataya hain…mujhe pata hain, tumne kya kya gul khilaye hain apni jawaani ke dino mein.
{Anika(taunting): really !!!! then Mallika and that Vheapdi Tia fell from the sky??? OmRu told me everything about your past actions….I know all about, what you have done in your youth days}

Shivaye: arre wo toh purani baaten hain, abhi main sirf tumhara hoon…aur Ye tum kya keh rahi ho Anika??? Humlog abhi bhi jawaan hai.
{Shivaye: arre, that are old things, now I’m only yours..and what your are saying Anika??? We are still young}

Anika: lo dekho…..ghar mein Billu aa gaya hain…baap ban gaye ho…phir bhi jawaani nahi nikal rahi hain tumhari!!!! Aur niklegi bhi kaise…mujhe pata hain, Office mein tumhari women employees, tumhe thoda bhao kya de deti hain, chane ke jhaad par chad jaate ho.
{Anika: see…..Billu has came in our family…u have a became a father…but still your youthfulness isn’t leaving u!!!! and how it’ll leave u??? I know, In office, your women employees, give you a little attention and you reach the top of the sky}

Shivaye: ye baat tumhe kaise pata??? waise sahi kaha….wo ladkiyan mujhe bhao to deti hain…..
{Shivaye: How do you know that??? But you are right….it’s true girls give a lot of attention}

Anika(furious as she’ll eat SSO alive): Aur tumhe isse bahut maza aata hain na???
{Anika(furious as if she’ll eat SSO alive): And u enjoyed it a lot na}

Shivaye(getting a panic attack): nahi nahi…mujhe meri baat toh poori karne do…..mujhe ladkiya bhao deti hain par main unhe ignore karta hoon…..kyunki main sirf tumse pyar karta hoon(giving a wide smile)
{Shivaye(getting a panic attack): no no…atleast let me complete…I get a lot of attention from girls, but I ignore them…because I only love u(giving a wide smile)}

Anika: ufff!!!! Kya karoon iss aadmi ka…shaadi se pehle isse Pyar shabd se nafrat thi, aura ab?? Jab dekho pyar pyar pyar ki rat lagaye rehta hain……
{Anika: ufff!!! What should I do with this man…before marriage he used to hate the word love , and now??? He keeps chanting about love all the time.}

Shivaye(giving a flirtatious smile): Arre sirf pyar dikhana nahi…karna bhi aata hain(Saying this, Shivaye goes near Anika and caresses her hair)
Shivaye(giving a flirtatious smile): arre, I also know how to show love(Saying this, Shivaye goes near Anika and caresses her hair)

Anika (gets angry and hits him in his hand): Chodo mere baal….pehle se hi bahut kharab hain.
{Anika (gets angry and hits him in his hand): leave my hair….It’s already unset}

Shivaye: par tumhe toh ye bahut achha lagta tha na…jab main tumhare baalo ko choota tha??? Tumhare baalo ki khusbu par hi toh main fida tha
{Shivaye: But u used to like it a lot na??? when I used to touch your hair??? I used to die for the smell of your hair}

Anika(angry): mere baalo par nahi, aap mere shampoo par fida the…aura ab mere baal jhadoo ban gaye hain, aur ye sab apki wajah se hua hain.
{Anika(angry): Not my hair, u loved my shampoo…and now my hair has became a broom, and it all happened because of u}

Shivaye(confused): meri wajah se??? wo kaise???
{Shivaye(confused): because of me??? How??}

Anika: aapne hi kaha tha na??? Omkara ka shampoo use karo….wo Om mardon ka shampoo use karta tha, aur apne wo mujhe lakar de diya…mere sundar baalon ko pata nahi kya bana diya….kisi bhi waqt gir sakte hain…huh.
{Anika: U only told me na??? to use Omkara’s shampoo…Om uses Men’s shampoo, and that shampoo u gave it to me…don’t know what u turned my beautiful hair into…They can fall anytime…huh..}

Shivaye: arre tum chinta mat karo…main tumhare liye sabse mehnga wala shampoo laaonga…tumharebaal bilkul pehle jaise ho jaayenge…main toh tumhare liye jaan bhi de sakta hoon (Shivaye again gives a flirtatious smile)
{Shivaye: Arre u don’t worry…. I’ll bring the costliest shampoo for u…Your hair will become just like before…arre, I can even give my life for u. (Shivaye again gives a flirtatious smile)}

Anika(angry): Koi zaroorat nahi hain jaan dene ki…filhaal jitna keh rahi utna hi kar do, wahi bahut hain….bade aaye jaan dene wale, huh….jao… jaakar Billu ka diaper badlo
{Anika(angry): no need to give your life…for now, what I’m saying, at least do that, that’s enough for me…u will give life for me, huh….go…and change the diaper of Billu.}

Shivaye(feeling awkward): uh…ye kaam mujhe karna padega???
Shivaye(feeling awkward): uh…I have to do this work???

Anika(angry): toh kya Hrithik Roshan ko bulau???
{Anika(angry): Shold I have to call Hrithik Roshan???}

Shivaye(scared): theek hain theek hain, main karta hoon na.
{Shivaye(scared): okay okay..I’ll do it na}

Shivaye goes near Billu…Tries to do his calculations, as he has to crack a business deal…He tries to remove the diaper from Billu, but when he gets the smell of the shit, he loses his shit and was just to puke….but he controls it.
Anika(to Shivaye): arre kya kar rahe ho aap??? Jaldi se badlo na diaper.
{Anika(to Shivaye): arre what are u doing??? Change the diaper quickly.}

Shivaye: Anika, tum hi badal do na.
{Shivaye: Anika, u yourself change it na}

Anika: baap hokar aap itna chota sa kaam bhi nahi kar sakte??? Pata nahi itna bada business kaise sambhalte hain….Mishra aapse zyada achaa business chala le.
{Anika: Being a father, u can’t do such a simple thing??? Don’t know how u handle such a big business Empire…Mishra can handle the business much better than u.}
Shivaye: ab in sab mein Mishra kaha se aa gaya???…plz ab tumhi badal do na Billu ka diaper.
{Shivaye: Now where does Mishra comes in all this??? Plz , u only change the diaper of Billu na}

Anika: Main nahi badal sakti…mujhe michmichi hoti hain…aap hi badaliye.
{Anika: I can’t change it…I feel puke worthy….U only have to change}

Shivaye again starts working on the mission,” how to change Billu’s diaper”.After about 30 minutes, doing all the measurements and calculations on how to remove the diaper, and also hearing nearly 100 abuses from Aniika, SSO finally succeeds in removing the diaper from Billu. Now Shivaye finds that there are no extra diapers. He turns back to Anika and makes a puppy face.

Shivaye( making a puppy face): Anika…diaper toh khatam ho gaye hain….ab billu kya pehnega???
{Shivaye( making a puppy face): Anika…there are no more diapers left…now what will Billu wear???}

Anika(shouts in anger): apna suit pehna dijiye na, ya phir meri saree bhi chalegi…kitni baar kaha hain extra diaper rakh lijiye lekin tadi maarne se fursat milegi, tab na meri baat sunoge..huh…ab mera mooh kya dekh rahe hain?? Jaiye jakar naye diaper kharid kar laiye…aur haan, achhe brand ke hi laana,saste daam dekhkar, bekar quality ke diaper mat laana.
{Anika(shouts in anger): give him your suit or my saree will also work…I told u so many times, keep extra diapers for billu, but if u get time from showing your attitude, then only u will listen to me na???…huh…now why are u looking at me??? Go and buy diapers from the store…and bring diapers of good brand only…don’t bring bad quality diapers by seeing the cheap cost}

Shivaye: achha theek hain meri maa, main jaa raha hoon.
{Shivaye: okay my mother, I’m going}

Anika: aur suno, Valentines day aa raha hain, mere liye achha sa gift laa dena, aur pichli baar ki tarah mere liye shaving cream aur razor mat laa dena.
{Anika: and listen, Valentine’s day is coming, bring a good gift for me, and don’t bring a shaving cream and a razor like last time}

Shivaye: aur kuch???
{Shivaye: anything more??}

Anika: aur haan… jaldi ghar wapas aana….Departmental store mein ladkiyon ko dekh kar tadi maarna mat shuru kar dena….Ghar wapas aa kar tumhe khana bhi banana hain
{Anika: and yes…come back home fast…don’t start showing your attitude to the girls in departmental store….you also have to cook food after returning back}

Shivaye(shocked): kya??? khana main banaonga???
{Shivaye(shocked): what??? I have to cook food??}

Anika(angry): toh aur kaun banayega??? Meri maa??? Tumhari maa ne toh keh diya ki mujhe khana banana aata hain nahi, har baar jala deti hoon… aur tumne toh Khana banana mein PHD ki hui hain tumhare maa ke hisaab se……. Toh tumhi khana banana…aur uske baad, tumhe kapde bhi dhone hain.
{Anika(angry): then who will cook??? My mother??? Your mom told me that I don’t know how to cook food…everytime I end up burning it…And u have done a PHD in cooking food, according to your mother…then u will only cook food…and after that u also have to wash clothes}

Shivaye(making puppy face): kapde bhi???
{Shivaye(making puppy face): clothes also??}

Anika: haan kapde bhi…har cheez samjhani padti hain tumhe, ab jao jaldi… Departmental store band ho jayega….kabse bakwaas karke time waste kiye jaa rahe ho.
{Anika: yeah, clothes also…I have to explain everything to u…. now go fast….Departmental store will close….u r wasting time by speaking non-sense}

Shivaye(confused): par maine toh kabse kuch kaha hi nahi?? Tumhi bas bole jaa rahi ho.
{Shivaye(confused): but I didn’t said anything??? U r only speaking from so long}
Anika(furiously): ab mujhpar blame daal rahe ho????
{Anika(furiously): now u r blaming me???}

Shivaye(meekly): Nahi par…
{Shivaye(meeky): no but…}
Anika(angry): abhi bhi yahi kahade ho???? Jao jaldi!!!!
{Anika(angry): u r still standing here?? Just go fast!!!!}

Shivaye nods his head with a scared face, and leaves from there as fast as he can.

THE END

So here ends this OS. To all the married folks here, plz don’t kill me. As I’m an unmarried woman, I don’t have experience about married life, but the little knowledge that I have, from that I’ll give my two cents. Whether it’s marriage or not, in a relationship, there should always be equality between two people. If one partner is dominant on another, then it turns out to be more of a boss-employee or master-slave relation.

And by equality I mean, where one partner takes decision in certain matters and other partner takes decision in other matters, where people have respect and understanding for each other and are ready to make sacrifices when needed. The relationship should be like two legs of our body. When one leg takes one step, other one stays behind and when the other leg takes one step forward, the first leg stays behind. That’s what equality means in a relationship. That’s what is called takkar ki ishqbaazi. But even in ishq, people have too many unrealistic expectations from each other before marriage and after marriage, they realize that they can’t fulfill those expectations and the scenario is something like shown in my this OS. So it’s better not to have too many expectations in a relationship, and if u have, then make it clear and also give back equally in return that u expect. I hope, all u ishqies get a great and not a perfect life partner,because there is nothing called perfect in this world. Okay…enough of my Philosophy…I hope u all didn’t got bored and enjoyed this OS…plz comment and give your views.