Kaira ff: She Loved A Monster (chp#44: Freshened Wounds)

As Karthik went, she turned to check making sure he’s not there and started sobbing hugging the blanket. She sat up and took a wine bottle and poured it in a glass, she drunk it and poured more and more until she was high. She stood up and was about to fall but leaned to the nearby wall. She walked further stumblingly to her cupboard and took out an album, she sat on the bed and opened it looking at the photos, her and Manish’s photo. She took it out and talked to it.



S: kyun? Kyun kiya aisa? Tumne kaha tha k mujhse pyaar kartay ho, to phir kyun mujhe beech raastey chhora? Mere saath saath mere betay ko bhi hurt kiya? Kyun? Uska to kasoor nahi tha na? Kiun usay trauma diya? Bhaagna hi tha to wapis kyun aye? Karthik ki zindagi phir kharab karnay k liye? Nahi honay doongi main aisa, nahi honay doongi.

She said and threw the glass on the floor breaking it to million pieces and threw the album on the floor. She didn’t notice Karthik standing on the entrance.

K: purani yaadein dukh pohncha rahi hain?
Suwarna wiped her tears hearing his voice as he entered inside.
K: kya hua achanak? Unki call aai?
She nodded in negative.
K: to kyun aise beer pi rahi ho? Kyun ye album ko khol kar apnay aapko dukh derahi ho? Kyun aap ab tak apni shahdi ki ring pehnti ho? Didn’t u divorce him?



S: kuch yaadon ko chah kar bhi nahi mitaya jasakta, kuch logo ko bhulaya hi nahi jasakta, kuch zakhm puranay ho kar bhi taazay hi rehtay hain, or kuchh aansu kabhi behna band nahi hotay, kaash k unho ne ek bar kaha hota k mat jao, main tumse pyaar karta hoon, kaash humari shahdi bhi kaamyab hoti, har kisi ka naseeb tumharay jaisa nahi hota, har kisi ka jeevan saathi bhi tumhari Naira ki tarha nahi hota.

She said while crying and he wiped her tears.



K: Maa, aap mat ro, aapke liye kisi bhi tarha ka stress achha nahi hai, please sleep.

He went to the drawer and took out a sleeping pill keeping it in her mouth and made her drink water, she laid and he kissed her forehead as she slept. He took the album with him and also took the marriage ring. He switched off the light of her room and went to his room. He sat on his bed and opened the album. As he looked at the smiling photos of his mom, a smile appeared on his face as well but as his gaze went to his father’s photo, his smile disappeared. Anger appeared on his face.


K: agar meri maa nahi hoti is photo me, to is photo ko jala kr raakh kardeta.

He took a cigarette out of his drawer he used to have before and lit it. He brought it near his father’s face in the photo and burnt his face and did the same to all the photos where he stood with his mother but as he saw his photos alone, he felt a strong grudge in his heart and adrenaline pouring through his veins. He went to kitchen and took out a blender, he kept all his photos inside and took out tomatoes from the fridge and kept it inside the blender along with the photos and closed its lid. He switched on the button and sat on the counter and watched as the tomatoes broke into liquid destroying the photos and the photos too broke into pieces. He smiled and jumped off the counter going to his room. He looked at all the photos on the wall of him and Naira and smiled caressing her face through the photo.



M: my baby, I love u so much, jaldi ghar wapis aao, jaldi ye month pass ho, jaldi tum bhi mere pas ho or jaldi humaray bachay bhi.

He sat on his bed and laid down to sleep but couldn’t as he was missing Naira. He picked his phone to call her but then dropped the idea and messaged her instead.



K: hello baby, sogai? ?

N: no, can’t sleep ?

K: me too, did u eat something? ?

N: yes ?

K: OK, main ajaun tumhare pas? Mujhe neend nahi arahi, kaise rahun tumhare bager? ?

N: aray tum nahi ho to main aaram se rahoongi mazay me rahungi, chill ?

K: aww, chal jhooti, main tumhare bager nahi reh sakta baby, or mujhe pata hai k tum bhi nahi reh sakti ?



N: m joking just chill, jabse bacho ne mujh mein jaga li hai us waqt se bachpanay ne bhi jaga li hai and I can’t stand seriousness with u, I like to joke ?

K: my shonu ? OK now sleep, thak gai hogi.

N: bye

K: sirf bye?

N: bye baby my cute boy my hubby jee my monster ?

K: ?

They both slept though it was difficult to sleep without each other. Next day, when he woke up, he got a call from Naira.
K: han meri jan
N: Good morning hogai tumhari monster?
K: han
N: then come to meet me today, please?
K: please mat bolo yar. Main please k bager bhi ajaunga.
N: how sweet.

He felt Suwarna’s presence in the room and bid her bye disconnecting the call.
K: Han maa
S: vo album kahan gaya?

He gave her the album and she opened it and on seeing it empty, she threw it on the bed.
S: photos kahan hain?

K: tomato sauce banatay waqt unki photos bhi blend kardi or jo apke saath thi un me unka face jala dia, unn photos ko kuch nahi kiya, kiun k usme apki hassi qaid thi. Ab bhula dijiye unko.

S: Karthik, yeh tumne kya kiya? Aesa kyun kiya tumne? Tumne bachi hui yaadon ko bhi mita diya. Tum nahi samjho gay k jis se pyaar Karo agar vo chor jaye to kaisa feel hota hai.

K: Maa mujhe pata hai mere saath bhi hua hai, main aapko humesha k liye aisay nahi jeenay desakta.

S: main agar un photos ko dekh k khush hoti hoon to tumhe kya hai? Tumhare pas Naira hai lekin mere pas kya hai? Jo kuch tha vo bhi tum ne barbaad kardiya.

K: (teary eyed) barbaad nahi kiya Maa, apke dukh ko mitaya hai, vo insaan is laiq nahi k ap unki yaadon k saharay jiyein.

S: tum mein or un mein kya faraq hai? Unho nay chhor kr dukh diya or tumne mere saath hotay huay bhi ignore kiya, Naira hi ab sab kuchh hai tumhari, jabse vo aai hai tab se..

K: Maa please, us ko beech mein mat laiye, mat bhooliye k vo nh hoti to aaj ap bhi mere saath nahi hoti, us se pehle aapne konsa sukh de diya mujhe? Papa k saath hotay thay, unki waja se door hui mujhse, unki yaad mita kar kuchh galat nahi kiya main ne.

S: aakhir mujhe takleef pohncha kar saabit kar hi diya na k ho to tum Manish k hi bete, usi ka ganda khoon behta hai tumhari raggo’n mein, tumhe uski yaadon ko mitanay k liye khudko mitana hoga, kiun k uski sabse bari yaad to tum ho.



She stormed out of there leaving behind a teary eyed Karthik who was heartbroken. He stood up cryingly and went to washroom and turned on the shower above the bathtub sitting inside. He sat there calmly with water running down him. He laid back in the bathtub facing the ceiling letting his eyes drool, Suwarna’s words of finishing himself kept echoing in his ears and everything seemed to swim before his eyes as he laid there breathing from mouth forming bubbles in the bathtub.