Hello Everyone.
Chapter 31
Love is about accepting the person as he or she is, not changing them.
15 December 2015
The crushing helplessness you feel, when the person you love the most is hurt by someone else and you can’t do anything about, is one of the worst pains anyone can ever endure.
I wouldn’t say she was sad, just a little disturbed maybe. Thankfully, she chose to talk to me about it and tell me the reason behind it. Our distances had been on the rise ever since we had reached Bangalore, and today was the first time we got a chance to talk
to each other properly. She has been way too busy with Ranbir otherwise.
So today, I was just glad that she was around. She told me that she was out somewhere last night with Ranbir and a few of his friends. It was the first time she was meeting any of his friends here in Bangalore. Otherwise, it would be just the two of them. Alone. The very thought makes me a little sick.
She told me that she had noticed that every friend of Ranbir’s was a regular drinker. And even Ranbir drinks, for that mater. But that wasn’t what bothered her. What really bothered her was that — despite her constant refusal and evident displeasure — they
wanted Anushka to drink too.
Despite her pleas and rude refusals, none of Ranbir’s friends backed down. Irritated, she turned to Ranbir for support, but amazingly, even he was in favor of her drinking. But she still said no to even tasting any drink. No matter how much they insisted, she did not cave in. When she told me this, I felt proud.
I have not consumed even a drop of alcohol after that accident when I was fifteen and I am strictly against it. It’s just a wrong thing to do. And I really respect her for standing up to them and holding her ground.
I remember she had once told me that she wanted to try some drinks. But that was different. She had just wanted to taste it. Being forced to drink is another thing altogether. And caving in is even worse.
She asked me if she did the right thing and I told her I was proud of her. She told me that Ranbir was probably still mad at her for refusing what he had asked her to do, that too in front of his friends.
During our entire conversation, Anushka kept looking at her cell phone. She told me Ranbir had not called her since. She was scared that he was really angry about last night.
Though a few minutes later, her phone beeped and her lips curved into a smile. It was a text from Ranbir.
Sometimes, all I can do is look at her. It feels so good to see her smile. It suits her. It makes her face light up and her eyes twinkle and a little colour rises up her cheeks and her lips look lovely in that upward curve.
I can stare at her smile for an eternity.
But I am not too happy about her smile today. Behind that smile is a mistake. I can see it clearly now. Ranbir is not the guy for her. I am.
I wish I could see her tomorrow.
-VK.
———-
19 December 2015
Between seeing her cry and not seeing her at all, I would choose seeing her cry because of the simple reason that I can’t live without her.
Anushka had been looking a little subdued for the last few days. I had sensed something was wrong between them after that drinking incident. I feel like breaking Ranbir’s nose. Why can’t he just let it go ?!! If she does not want to drink, what is his problem ?!!
Let her be. Isn’t she perfect the way she is ?!!
I was concerned about her, so I went over to check on her tonight, and found her in her room. She had not come to office because she did not feel well. Tough tonight she looked better and happier than she had in the last few days. It was evident that she had reconciled her differences with Ranbir.
Before I spoke to her, I had hoped that he was the one who gave in and not her. But I was wrong. I was disappointed and crushed. I could not believe it at first, when she told me. I still do not want to believe it. But living in denial would not change anything.
She told me that yes, she had agreed to drink with Ranbir a little. But just a little.
It angered me. I was not angry at Anushka. I can never be. I love her. But I was angry at Ranbir. What kind of guy does that ?!!
When he knows that she does not like to drink, why would he force her to do so ?!! To socialize ?!! That enraged me even further.
Ranbir lost the little respect I had for him. I wanted to go back home that very instant and take Anushka with me, but I knew that wasn’t happening.
There is no such thing as a few drinks. It inevitably goes out of hand and then, you do things you regret later. But you cannot do anything about it. You just have to live with it for a lifetime. Just like I am living with it. And the guilt, it never goes. It is always there, haunting you.
I do not want Anushka to change into something she is not and do something she would later regret. I wish I could tell her what I had gone through. But I won’t.
What if she judges me ?!! What if she thinks I am a murderer and never forgives me ?!! I must keep that secret within me. I cannot let her leave me. I need her in my life. It will be so empty without her. I have already lost most of her to Ranbir.
She hardly has time for me nowadays. I cannot afford to lose her completely. But the very fact that she is changing herself to fit in with someone else infuriates me. Where does she find the need ?!! Does she not know she is perfect ?!! Does she not see it is Ranbir who is wrong ?!! Does she not see he would never love her the way I do ?!!
For the first time since I have known about him, today I feel like asking Anushka to leave Ranbir.
Love is about accepting the person as he or she is, not changing them.
Ranbir is in love with what he can make of Anushka, in love with what he can change her into.
True love means not having to pretend ever. I wish she understands that. Better sooner than later. Before she loses herself in the process of being in love with him.
I wish I could see her tomorrow.
-VK.
———–
Precap : Unaffected Keerti. Sakshi. Kaira cuddles !!
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Hii Peeps, I am back with another update. Well I am not going to ask if you liked it as I, myself cringed while writing this Chapter. I totally believe that no one had the right to change things about you even if they are in love with you.
No one is perfect in this world. All of us are full of imperfections. But accepting a person as who they are is what called as love. So I just hate how Ranbir is trying to turn Anushka into something that she isn’t. Well lets see what Virat does next.
The next Chapter would have Kaira and Keesh leaving for Mumbai and how Keerti would be totally unaffected by this whole Diary Fiasco. Some sweet and cute Kaira romance is included as well. Also there would be a small guest appearance of Sakshi in the next few chapters.
Do comment. Keep smiling. Keep watching Yrkkh !!