Hey guys. I am happy that there was some response for this. I take it as a sign to continue. So, here goes the next episode of CD. And, I will follow the usual schedule… I mean, as usual, I will post CD on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays… so, today is Sunday, and here is the episode. Happy reading
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“Stop coming behind me Abhi” Pragya said for the third time.
“Pragya, I am sorry… I…” Abhi started again. He was sure… he wouldn’t leave until she forgives him.
“Shut up” Pragya shouted. They were out of the earshot of everyone. Arvind was playing with Ayush in their room while RABUL and Aaliya were busy discussing on what next to do in Ashok’s case. So, Pragya can explode and it wouldn’t disturb anyone. She knew it would, very badly to one person; her Abhi (well, she doesn’t really wonder anymore on why she calls him hers *only she didn’t let him know that*! She is ok now, if her mind jumps into conclusions and moreover happy that she can call him hers! Anyways, he spoiled all that now!) But she thinks he deserves it now. Though she couldn’t see him upset, she can’t help but be angry now. He had just, hurt Arvind. How can he? He has to pay. She isn’t going forgive him easily.
“I said I am sorry. I just wanted to know…” he fumbled.
Know what? Whether we were husband and wife in all senses or is Ayush our real son? Pragya thought bitterly. But she knew, she would have told him someday. If only he had waited for some more time… “I would have very well told you Mr. Abhishek Mehra. I had been trying…” Pragya now said it openly.
“TRYING?” Abhi wondered. ‘Trying?’ what does she mean…
Within a moment Abhi found himself in a dark place, a spot light on him while everywhere around him, he could hear cheers and screams. It was his concert, two days after he came to know of Pragya’s memory loss and sorting out problems the other night in Pragya’s home. (Yes guys… this is what happened in the two weeks… the gap between the problem sorting day and the amusement park day. I told right, left it to be explained upon later. Now here it goes. Remember, it is just a flash back. Abhi knows Pragya has lost memory but doesn’t know that Pragya and Arvind are unmarried)
Abhi was standing in the centre his hand clutching the mike. But he wasn’t thinking of it at all. He was just looking at Pragya… who was standing next to Arvind and laughing her heart out on a joke he just made. His heart ached to see her belong to someone else. His head pounded over him but the pain in his heart was unbearable. *ok guys, the coming song is in Tamil. I have given the meaning also. Do read… touching and soulful song. Do listen if you can https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOtghN3wIDM *
Pogaathey… Pogaathey… (Do not leave… do not leave)
Nee Irunthaal Naan Iruppaen (literally: if you stay, I will too, but here it means more like if you’re alive, I will be too)
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Abhi sang as he clutched the mike stronger. A sudden silence fell upon the place and only his voice resounded in the hall. He looked at Pragya, who had gone still, listening deeply to him. He sang.
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Pogaathey… Pogaathey…
Nee Pirinthaal Naan Irappaen (if you separate from me, I’ll die)
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The song was a true depiction of his pain and ache. Abhi sang as if his life depended on it and he knew his life really did depend on it. Pragya was numb… she looked at him with unexplainable shock.
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Unnodu Vaazhntha Kaalangal Yaavum Kanavaai Ennai Mooduthadi (all the times I’ve spent with you are closing upon me like dreams)
Yaar Endru Neeyum Ennai Paarkumbothu Uyire Uyir Poguthadi (when you look at me like who I am, it’s like my life has left me)
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He remembered the times when Pragya saw him as a stranger. He remembered how she kept moving away from him, tying to avoid him. He remembered the many times he tried to talk to her the way Purab does… and she only ignored him.
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Kallaraiyil Kooda Jannal Onru Vaithu
Unthan Mugam Paarpenadi (Even in my coffin, I’ll place a window, and just stay seeing your face)
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Pragya felt Abhi’s eyes boring into her. There was an uneasy air around her and Pragya could very well feel that her insides were twisting up, yearning for something she could never understand.
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Kalainthalum Megam Adhu Meendum Mithakum (Even though clouds gets scattered they still float)
Adhu Pola Thane Unthan Kaadhal Enakum (Just like that is your love for me)
Nadai Paathai Vilakkaa Kaadhal
Vidinthavudan Anaippatharuku (Is love a foot stride lamp, to switch off, if the mrg rises?)
Nerupaalum Mudiyathamma
Ninaivugalai Azhipatharku (it’s impossible even for fire to destroy memories)
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Abhi remembers the time he had been waiting for her… for four long years, living in a hell, with nothing to keep him alive except for the memories they had together.
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Unakkaga Kathirpen O… (I’ll be waiting for you)
Uyirodu Parthirupane O… (I’ll be looking for you, with all my life)
Pogaathey… Pogaathey…
Nee Irunthaal Naan Iruppaen
Pogaathey… Pogaathey…
Nee Pirinthaal Naan Irappaen
Azhagana Neram Athai Neethaan Koduthai (All the beautiful times, only u gave me)
Azhiyatha Sogam Athaiyum Nee than Koduthai (All the indestructible sorrows, too, only u gave me)
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He remembers the many times when they both laughed together on a silly joke or the times when they mocked each other and many other times when they did nothing but stayed beside each other. And then he remembered the days he had locked himself up in his room, unable to face anything just because, everything reminded him of her. He remembered how much he had missed her and how much unbearable the pain was…
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Kan Thoongum Neram Parthu
Kadavul Vandhu Ponathu Pol (As if god came and left, when one’s eyes are asleep)
En Vazhvil Vanthaey Ponaai (you came into my life and left)
Eamatram Thaangalaye (I am unable to bear this deception)
Penne Nee Illamal
Boologam Irutiduthae (without you the whole world just darkens)
Pogaathey… Pogaathey… Nee Irunthaal Naan Iruppaen
*ok guys… bear the translations! Gave it on my own!*
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He finished singing and raised his head. He had fallen to his knees at one point of the time while singing… only he didn’t know when. His eyes were tearing very badly. There was a huge silence in the hall. He stood up and wiped his tears. The crowd hadn’t noticed his silent tears. Instead, they were deep, within the song. Four pair of eyes watched him with pity while one pair alone seemed to share his sorrow.
Pragya was also looking at him with moist eyes… they were tearing too. The same sorrow, pain, yearning it was all visible in her eyes too. For the first time in two years, she found herself engulfed in sorrow. And she didn’t know why, she could feel that Abhi had sung this song for her. The numerous times in these two days she had voided him, she had seen his pain. Why had she been avoiding him? She didn’t know! She was not able to mingle with him the way she did with Purab or Aaliya or Bulbul. The two days, she always was in a situation to be with him… either it was because Arvind was sponsoring this concert or because she was also a part of it or because they six were always together! In any way, Pragya couldn’t just do it… and now seeing him, standing there, there were automatic tears in her eyes. She just excused herself and went from there.
Arvind rushed to the stage as he saw the whole place drowning in silence. Abhi’s lifeless state was very disturbing… whereas the crowd’s silence was contagious — Arvind, himself for some moments dropped into dead silence, seeing the way the song had moved on. The crowd was not an exception; it was also very silent — as if in mourning.
As soon as he reached the stage, he complimented Abhi as it was such an emotional song and announced about the next performance. Abhi moved off the stage.
He went to his green room and sat on the chair heavily. And, he was crying again. He couldn’t bring himself to wiping his tears; but they were wiped.
Pragya’s soft hands trembled as she swept it upon his cheeks. Abhi simply hugged her and cried his heart out.
After a few moments he gathered himself up and looked at her. Her eyes were moist, too. He wiped a lone tear that escaped from her eyes. She composed herself, breaking the hug. “Sorry… I… just…” he fumbled. “It’s ok Abhishek. I can understand” she said. There was a brief silence… she continued “And I am sorry too”
“Why?”
“I had been avoiding you very badly these two days”
“Well, it is not a problem. It’s my mistake to try to be close to you. After all that fight and ruthless words I used against you, I deserve punishment” Abhi wiped his tears completely. He was happy. Pragya came to talk to him, finally. Why would I cry? I would sort things out, now.
“No Abhishek. I shouldn’t have avoided you. It’s very wrong from my side. I don’t know why I did that… but I am sorry” Pragya felt a pang of guilt stab her heart. But why am I telling that to him NOW? Why did I even come here? Pragya was wondering, but another thought calmed her down. It is ok, it’s just Abhi. You are only with him. Sort all things now and never repeat this mistake of hurting him. Only she didn’t know why she felt that bad on hurting him and why she desperately wanted to see him normal or rather, happy.
“No it’s my fault. I was the one who spoke stupidly. I made you cry many times. I deserve it”
“No Abhi, it’s my fault. I was the one who over reacted. What good was it, to always scream or break down in front of you? It only shows how cowardly I am. I didn’t know why… but I couldn’t face you. That’s why I kept hurting you. Though I knew I was doing wrong, I couldn’t help anything of it”
“No Pragya. I am sorry. It’s me”
“No… I am telling you right? It’s all… just my fault”
“Ok… ok… are we gonna keep on blaming ourselves for things that are just a past from here on?”
“But accept that it’s me”
“No. Me”
“ME”
“Ok fine. Both! Is it good?”
Pragya smiled sheepishly. “Ok Abhishek. We both are” silence prevailed again. And, again, Pragya was the one to break it… “So I wish this is sorted here. No more pogadhe… pogadhe, right?” she smiled.
Abhi was silent. “Did you feel it?” it was a mere whisper. He was moved beyond extent. After all things, she still understands him. Abhi understood what it is to feel happy and sad at the same time.
“Again, the same thing… I didn’t know how… but I could. I could feel that you were singing that for me. I could feel your pain. The strange thing is I felt the pain too, I mean, I don’t sympathise your pain … I empathise it. Maybe, you’re that much involved in the song. But what I wonder is, why do you want my company so badly”
Abhi was silent again. Pragya was making him numb with her questions. He doesn’t even know what he should answer her. For a moment, he thought of spitting out all the truth. But then his phone rang… it was Arvind. He cut the call. Arvin’s memory brought him to sense. It would be very selfish of him to ruin a family for his happiness. So he held back. “I told you… you look like my Fuggi. I sang it thinking about her. Maybe because you are like her, you might have felt it. Maybe you want…”
“OH! So you think I want you to sing for me? Right?”
“Arey no. I never meant so”
“What does Mr. Abhishek mean then?” there was a silence and then Abhi spoke, dreamily.
“Mr. Abhishek means that you are so beautiful (Pragya’s eyes widens. Abhi who had suddenly become dreamy realised the situation and corrected himself) … I mean u r like Fuggi… and Fuggi is just so beautiful… so you are so beautiful” he uttered in express speed and looked down.
Pragya blushed a bit and Abhi noticed it… he smiled seeing her blush. How much I had missed this? His smile became even broader. Pragya spoke suddenly.
“I will leave then. Arvind will be looking for me”
At the name of Arvind, Abhi stiffened. “Yeah, yeah. See you later” he said gritting his teeth. After Pragya left the room, Abhi was pondering. He was hesitating on whether to call back or not. But he knew he shouldn’t ditch a friend just because he took away his wife (but he didn’t only take her away, he ket her happy, which he had failed to do! He actually should be thankful to him). So, he called Arvind back.
“This much time to call back? What are you doing?” Arvind was shouting.
“Slept off buddy” Abhi laughed as he thought Arvin’s reaction after hearing the word ‘slept’!
“For god sake Abhi… how can you be so careless? Like seriously, you slept? Next is Pragya’s performance and then it is yours again… for the finish. Pragya has already started. When will you be here?” he screamed. Abhi actually broke into a fit of laughter this time.
“Within a minute” he said and cut the call. He took his guitar and decided to strum his starting notes, but his mind was not concentrating on it. He had various plans to work out and he was going through it all again. “Tonight” he told himself and walked to the backstage, waiting to receive Pragya, not thinking of his next performance!
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Here goes it. I don’t know how it was, or how you guys feel. I don’t even know if I could continue this. I am waiting for your response and will post if you guys want me to.
And yeah, Thanks for commenting Reji, Saran akka, Rithu akka and di…
So, hit the button and drop in your views… See you all later. Good bye until then…