Chapter 8 – Part 2 Sayyams POV
I kissed her passionately. The feelings I had hidden all these years were set free. The hidden love and passion I felt was her was conveyed through the kiss. I held her close to me, I didn’t want to let her go. Kissing her felt so right.
I gently moved my lips away from hers. I slowly opened my eyes, immediately my eyes were immersed in hers.
She reacted in a way that I didn’t expect. She was really angry. She kept pushing me and demanding answers. I was completely taken aback by her reaction, I didn’t know what to say. I told her that I didn’t know what I was thinking. Her comments about how this one impulsive reaction will affect everything and everyone around us, namely Yuvan shocked me. She refused to talk to me on the journey home, it was complete silence. It was my fault, I made things awkward between us. Why couldn’t I control myself??
Once we got back to Krishnas house, she ran out of car and straight to her room. I have never seen her so upset. I felt guilty for upsetting her, but I also felt relieved. I felt like a big weight I had been carrying on my shoulders all these years had been lifted.
I couldn’t sleep at night, I felt restless. I kept on tossing and turning. Visions of Krishnas furious reaction kept appearing before my eyes. I got up as soon as the sun had risen and went out for a run on the near beach to clear my mind and try to forget the previous nights events. [BR][BR]I ran for several hours around the beach but still couldn’t get Krishna out of my mind. I sat down and watched the waves wash against the sand. It was so peaceful and calming.
‘Hey Sayyam.’ I turned round to see Golu standing behind me. He then sat next to me.
‘You’ve called me so early in the morning. What’s up?’ I rang Golu to meet me.
‘What happened to you last night?’ He asked.
‘I’m sorry yaar. I ruined your party. Rahul got me really angry.’ I felt bad for my behaviour.
‘Everyone knows what Rahul is like. Listen, if it wasn’t you that hit him, it would’ve been someone else.’ He laughed.
‘He’s fine, don’t worry about it. Now you tell me, why have you called me here so early in the morning?’ He asked.
‘It’s Krishna. I kissed her last night.’ I said.
‘Krishna? You still have feelings for her? I thought you said it was just crush?’
Golu was the one person i confided in about my feelings for Krishna years ago.
‘I thought it was a crush, but since coming back to India I can’t get her out of my head.’ I said burying my head in my hands.
I told him everything that happened after this kiss, how she reacted and what she said.
‘I’m so confused Golu, I mean, she kissed me back.’
‘So what’s the problem?’ He asked.
‘Yuvan. You know how both Yuvan and Krishna feel about each other. They’re soulmates. She loves him and he loves her.’ I said worryingly.
‘Maybe it’s time to tell Yuvan about your feelings for Krishna.’ He put his hand on my shoulder.
‘There’s no way I’m telling him. He is my best friend. Also, after the way Krishna reacted, I think she hates me even more now.’
‘Look Sayyam, if she didn’t feel anything for you, do you really think she would’ve reacted so strongly??’ He pat me on the back, smiled at me and left.
I was so confused, I didn’t know what to think. What I did know was that I had made things a lot more complicated.
Could Krishna feel the same way??
I spent the day at the beach alone with my thoughts, contemplating my next steps. I don’t want to stand in the way of Krishnas happiness. Her happiness lies with Yuvan, he is the one she has always wanted. Krishnas happiness is what matters to me the most.
I need to bury these unrequited feelings in the back of my mind and lock them away forever. I can’t let them resurface again.
It was early evening, the sun was setting, I walked back to Krishnas house. Part of me wanted to see her but the other part of me was nervous to see her. I need to be strong. I CAN be strong.
I walked into the front porch and bumped into someone. I immediately knew it was her. I held her by her waist and pulled her up, we shared an eyelock. I took a step back. We looked at each other trying to avoid eye contact, we both felt so awkward. She looked as beautiful and innocent as ever.
‘About last night..’ We both said at the same time.
I put my hand out in front to gesture her to speak first.
‘I completely overreacted, I don’t know why I reacted like that. The kiss was meaningless, I mean it was a mistake…right?’ She asked.
My heart sank.
‘Right… It was a mistake, an act of impulse.’ I looked at her in disappointment.
‘Ok, so shall we go back to being friends?’ She said with a smile and put her hand in front.
‘Friends.’ I smiled and shook her hand. I have never felt so happy and disappointed at the same time. I was happy that we can be friends yet disappointed because she doesn’t feel the same.
I smiled at her and walked into the house. I felt relieved that we had cleared the air. What I need to do now is ensure these feelings are locked away deep in my mind so they don’t resurface ever again…
Precap- Krishna starts to see a different side to Sayyam.