~~?Forgiveness?~~
Sanskar’s pov
I have been called for an important meeting in Bangalore. Leaving Sparsh with Rohan, I had to come here!!.. I found her, I found Swara!!.. She’s here in front of me, giving the presentation for her company. My happiness knew no bounds when she looked at me. Those hazel doe eyes!!.. I missed them, but it instantly changed into anger. She should be!!.. after all what I did wasn’t forgetful. But I’m going to apolozise. I don’t know whether she’ll forgive me or not, but I’ll ask for forgiveness definitely!!.. She began her presentation and she didn’t even for once look at me.
Finally, the time came when the presentation ended. I had to talk to her, I had to!!..I asked her for a chance and she ignored me. She kept on ignoring me and when it caught my nerves I pulled her with me. I stopped the car a little far from where the meeting was held. She didn’t forgive me that was the simplest answer!!.. I hoped and my hopes went in vain in a single flash of a second. Everything had gone blurr!!.. I know the mistakes were mine and I’m soely responsible but she hadn’t forgiven me. Never!!..
I went home changed my clothes and looked out of the window of the appartment I am staying. The birds, the entire seemed so soothing but something was there that was bleeding, that’s my heart. But I’m adamant!!.. I am going to ask for her forgiveness.. Three days went by, the meeting was held and I had almost completed my work. It was time to return. In these days I had tried to talk to her but she had denied. She had no time to spare, that too for me, she said. I was packing my bags for my return, when she came. My heart throbed.. did she come for my sake? Does she want to forgive me? But all my hopes vanished again.
“Sanskar!” she called my name once again soothingly.
“Yes! Swara I…” she shushed me coming closer.
“I just wanted to invite you for this” she offered me a card “shh.. not a word more.. I wanted to invite you to my wedding that’s why I had come here. Will take a leave now..”
I was shocked. I couldn’t dare to utter a word. I had been invited to my ex-wife’s wedding? Wasn’t that what I heard? Or my ears have gone?
“Swara you are going to …. But why? What’s the..??.. I mean why…I …”
“You too have moved on isn’t it? So what if I too do so? Even I too want to live a good life. So I’ll be happy if you attend my wedding… Be sharp ok?”
“Swara but..I’m sorry” she held her hands up.
“You cheated because you wanted to, you lied because you could and now you’re sorry beacause you’re caught! It’s always about you! But the pain.. the pain.. was mine Sanskar! It was mine…It was me who cried late nights. I’m sure you didn’t, you had your dearest girl friend for you but for me? I did nothing to cause or deserve it! What was my fault? What did I do? Did you turn back and look for me? Did you?You cheated, because you paid more attention to what you’re missing rather than what you have! You knew exactly what you were doing that’s what hurts the most” she cried out.
“Swara, I know I did mistakes.. and I’m responsible but what’s this.. why are you showing this attitude Swara? You very well know how much I love you. It’s just that I got drifted. But ..but don’t you think you’re giving this punishment.. I mean this punishment is much more bigger. I can’t see you becoming someone else’s Swara. I can’t .. I still love….”
“My attitude is a result of your actions, so if you don’t like my attitude blame yourself. You love and me?” she laughed sarcastically “What did wasn’t a mistake Sanskar so that I’ll forgive you so soon. Where did this love go when you slept with her? Where did it go when you slapped me in front of her? Where did this love go when you said ‘you love her’? where did it go when I was alone..??.. where did it go when everyone left me; mom, dad , di everyone?Where did it go when I spent those sleepless nights? Where did you go when I didn’t know what to do? When every single thing wasn’t mine? Where? Where were you then Mr. Sanskar Maheshwari?” she spoke holding my collar.
“You dug the hole, now go burry yourself in it!!.. You turned my world upside down, shattered my heart, made me doubt your love was ever real. It felt as though I had lost my past, my future, everything I thought I knew. Now all of a sudden you had come to say ‘I love you’ … why do you think I should forgive you? why do you think I should return to you after what you did? Why do you think I still love you and I’m ready to forgive you? if you really think so then I’m sorry to say but there’s nothing like that! Real men stay faithful, they don’t have time to look for another woman because they are busy looking for new ways to love their own. You aren’t a men, you are a coward! And stay like this because this is the world you deserve, this is how you should live, this is the life you have opt for!!..”
I just awaited there keenly till she had disappeared!!.. tears weren’t enough nor did my guilt!!.. I am alone once and for all. Minutes before I had a little hope but now? Nothing!!.. I couldn’t deny but each and every word of her was ‘true’…
***
Finally, her wedding day came. I reached the place. She was going to get married to Varun Oberoi, he was a nice guy… I saw her descending the stairs.. looking gorgeous!!.. I wiped my tears and saw the rituals being completed.. it was hard not to cry but I didn’t!!.. The next moment I crept out of the hall. It was suffocating, each passing minute there was like hell!!..I cried out when I reached home. I packed my bags and left for Kolkata!!..
~?~