LONGING FOR….. ( CHAPTER 3 )

“What do you want now?” Ishaan asked me as we both were sitting in the meeting room. The meeting was over and I stopped him from going. “I want to talk to you” I said. He shrank his eyebrows and gave me a ‘proceed’ look. “I am sorry for yesterday’s incidents. I didn’t hurt you intentionally. But what you said was wrong Ishaan. Divorce is not the solution Ishaan.” I said. “Then, was it wrong of me to think about your future? Was it wrong of me that I considered you as my sister? I can’t let anyone ruin my sister’s life. You please understand.” He said. “Ishaan, you are misunderstanding. I know that you care for me. But, you think about HARSHA. What’s his fault? His profession demands his time. Then what will he do?” I asked. “Such people don’t require personal life Annie. If they are so committed to their work, then why marry a girl and ruin her life?” He shot back. “He loves me, Ishaan.” I told him. “Is it? Oh.. Ok then why doesn’t he speak to you often? When he could have a face time with mom for 5 mins, then why can’t he have one with you for at least 2 mins? Don’t think I am brainwashing you, Annie. You know one thing, when we became friends after your engagement, that day, I felt so happy for my brother that he had got you. But after your marriage, I am feeling bad for you.” He said. ” You can’t blame him for not talking to me over phone or for face time. Let’s imagine, you are married. You are an entrepreneur and you have to attend meetings all over the world. Then at that time will you accept me saying to your wife that divorce him for your better future?” I snapped. He looked at me shocked. ” You won’t agree right? Same with me. Ishaan, try to understand, your brother is not at fault. I know that you are afraid of the fact that you would loose him like you lost Dad. I assure you nothing would happen like that. And today, for god’s sake, please do speak to him” I told him. “Well, You always take his side. And about today, let’s see Bhabhiji” he said winking. I smiled. Ishaan and I, the bestest of the friends, the craziest bhabhi – devar duo. We are like this. Sometimes, I feel that his arrival completed my incomplete wish of having a brother. “I am sorry for talking to you like that Annie. I should not have.” Ishaan said sincerely. “Oho, devarji!! Leave it. Waise, when are you going to get married?” I winked at him. ” Why? Do you want her to divorce me before marriage itself?” He asked dramatically. “Shut up, Ishaan!!” I said as we both walked out of the meeting room.
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Hyderabad. My city. It feels so good to be back to your home city. I feel good. Meeting your family after a long time is exciting for many. But not for me. You guys might wonder, what kind of a man I am. Being an actor, I have to get rid of all these feelings. In these 10 years of my film journey, still, I couldn’t get rid of those family sick feelings completely. Mom, Ishaan and HER, I miss them all. The reason for the absence of my excitement of meeting them after long time is GUILT. The guilt of not being able to be with them when they need me the most. I am not able to face them. For the fans and other people, life of an actor may seem easy. But, it’s not easy as they think. Leaving my family here alone, makes me feel guilty. You may think then why did I ever choose this profession. At first, it was my passion for acting. But when I came to know about the difficulties of Dad, I decided that acting is not for me. But, after dad’s death, peer pressure of carrying the film legacy, I was forced. “Sir, Mr. Rao is on phone. He wants to meet you tonight.” Vikram said. Vikram, my manager. “Postpone it, Vikram” I said. He nodded. My Rolls royce speeded into my bungalow and there she was, My Mom waiting eagerly for me. There were a huge crowd surrounding my bungalow.

As I stepped down, I could hear the crowd chant “HARSHA! HARSHA!” I waved at them and went inside my bungalow

As I stepped down, I could hear the crowd chant “HARSHA! HARSHA!” I waved at them and went inside my bungalow. “Harsha!!! How are you beta? You are looking so tired. Fresh up soon and come down. I will serve you the food.” Mom spoke without allowing me to speak. I let out a small smile. Though there are many servants and helpers, she always prefers to cook and serve for me. I hugged her and she hugged me back. “How are you?” I asked her calmly. She just nodded her head with teary eyes. This is when it hurts. I walked upstairs towards my room and found it empty. I scanned the whole room and SHE was nowhere to be found. Our wedding picture caught my eye and I took it.

I looked at our wedding pic for a second, hung it back on the wall and locked myself in the restroom

I looked at our wedding pic for a second, hung it back on the wall and locked myself in the restroom.

“Sir, you have to meet Mr. Sehgal at 7:00 p.m.” Vikram said. “Vikram! He has come just now and you are already making him leave!” Mom complained. “Mom, I am here for shooting. And that meeting with Mr. Sehgal is important.” I said. She nodded sadly. “Mom, please smile.” I said and she smiled. I had my food and left for the meeting. I glanced one more time at my room and left. I felt like seeing her. But I don’t know where she had gone.
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It was 7:45 p.m. when we both entered home. My eyes immediately searched for HIM. Mom caught this. “He has went out to see some Mr. Sehgal.” She said. My face fell. “Tera mikha singh toh bhaag gaya” Ishaan mocked at me. “Ishaannn!!” Mom and I shouted together. “Ok baba Chill!!” He shouted back. “Now you both have dinner.”
Mom said. “I will have my dinner afterwards mom” I said and left to my room. As I entered the room, I saw it messed up. I knew it. I smiled.

I picked up his shirt and hugged it tightly inhaling his fragrance

I picked up his shirt and hugged it tightly inhaling his fragrance. I felt happy that tonight he will be there beside me unlike other days, where I have to stay alone in this huge room. I cleaned the room and unpacked his things and arranged it in the cupboard. I like to do all these chores. I know this is crazy. But I can’t help it. Though I was upset that he was not there when I came, my heart thumped up in joy. I looked at our wedding pic and I found it crooked. Someone must have took it and then hung it back on the wall. My lips curved into a smile when the thought of HIM doing that flashed in my mind. I freshed up and changed my dress. I sat happily on my bed eagerly waiting for HIM to return back. I looked at the clock. It showed the time 11.00. p.m. I waited. I looked at the pics taken during our wedding. I glanced from the window again and again. I became impatient and then thought to call him. But, I didn’t. I was waiting and I didn’t know when sleep conquered me.

I slowly opened my eyes as I felt a touch. My eyes widened in shock when I saw HIM looking at me intensely sitting beside me.

My eyes widened in shock when I saw HIM looking at me intensely sitting beside me

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