LONGING FOR….. BY DEESH ( CHAPTER 9)

What did I do? Did I just confess now? I wanted to look at him, but I was not able to. I turned to the other side unable to face him. I said proudly that I will make HIM confess first in front of Giraffe and Sandy. And here I am, confessing first. Fate’s plans are bizarre. It’s ok that I confessed first. His phone beeped breaking my trance. My heart thumped loudly. Then, it struck me. Why didn’t he say anything till now? Doesn’t he like me? Fear crept into my mind. I could feel my heart becoming heavy and I left the room hastily. Initially, I thought he would stop me. But he didn’t, making me feel disappointed. I rushed downstairs and sat on the sofa. I placed my hand on my thumping heart. I took in deep breath to control my over excitement. I closed my eyes and laid back on the sofa. His silence was killing me from inside.

Why didn’t he say anything? When he started the conversation, I was surprised to see the naughty side of his. I was happy that the ice between us is slowly breaking. But before I could enjoy that moment, I ended up blurting out my feelings for him. What would he have thought? I should have given him some more time. Okay, I would wait for him till his reply. He also needs time to think. I love him from the moment he became mine, legally. I was initially attracted towards him from the very first time I saw him. He always has a unique effect on me. And when he was away, I missed him like anything. That separation, that longing for his presence, made me realise my love for him. But I don’t know what he thinks of me? Because, I feel that though he has been with me for a very short span of time, he hasn’t noticed, thought or knew about me completely like I know about him. I can’t blame him for that. That’s the demand of his profession.

I heard a sound and I opened my eyes. It was HIM. He was looking dressed up. He rushed downstairs hastily. Where was he going at this time? He took out his phone and dialled a number. Before I could call him, he went from there. He didn’t even bother to tell me. This pains me a lot. A lot. I am his wife and I have the rights to know where he is going. Doesn’t he consider me as his wife? I closed my eyes tightly not to let my tears
down.

I opened my eyes, as I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Ishaan.

“Annie, Is everything okay? What are you doing here at this time?” He asked me in a sleepy tone.

“I am okay. It’s that I couldn’t sleep. So, I thought of relaxing here for sometime.”I lied.

“Don’t lie, Ananya!! I know that something has happened and My lovely elder brother is responsible for this.” His tone reflected immense anger.

“Are you going to tell me?” He roared.

“Stop yelling, Ishaan. Nothing is gonna change by yelling like this.” I replied calmly.

“Nothing is gonna change? What does this nothing mean?” He asked me with the same anger.

“Nothing means nothing. Could you please leave me alone?” I shouted.

He looked at me. Tears were streaming down my cheeks. He held my hand and dragged me to the garden.
The cool breeze and the pleasant moonlight made me feel better. We sat on a bench.

“Annie, I don’t know what had happened in between you guys. And I don’t have the right to ask you too, Coz it’s your personal matter. I shouted angrily because I was not able to see my sister upset. I am sorry for my behaviour.” Ishaan said.

I felt bad. I had shouted on Ishaan. I didn’t mean to shout at him. How lucky I am, to get a brother-in-law like Ishaan! He has made me feel this many times. But, I can’t help feeling this again and again. Now, I myself don’t know why am I upset. Am I upset that HE didn’t answer me for that stupid proposal of mine? Or Am I upset with the fact that he didn’t even bother to tell me and go wherever he is going. In fact, he didn’t even notice me. I was sitting there, right in front of him.

“Annie…” Ishaan’s voice broke my trance.

“It’s okay Ishaan. I am sorry for my rude behaviour towards you.” I said, as guilt engulfed me.

“Okay now, No more emotional scenes. Go to your room, dress up and come here quickly.” He tried to say in a cheerful tone.

“Now? Are you nuts? Where are we going now? To talk to the ghosts?” I yelled sarcastically.

“Nah. I don’t think, there’s a need to. Because, I am already talking with one.” He said, mischief twinkling in his eyes.

“Ishaaannn!!!” I shouted.

“Shush! You’ll wake up the dead spirits! Don’t waste time by fighting with me, stupid! Come soon” He commanded.

“Yes mommy!!” I said like a little kid and walked towards my room.

Ishaan. Only he could change my bad mood. Talking to him doesn’t make my problem vanish, but certainly reduces my pain. Now, I am not in a mood to go out anywhere. But if I say so, “His Majesty” will kill me. I wore a black top and a jean and came down.

To my shock, I saw Sandy and Giraffe, who were standing along with Ishaan.

“What are you guys doing here?” I asked, being shocked.

“All because of you, Idiot!!” Giraffe muttered sleepily.

“Were you sleeping?” I asked in a go. Argh! Me and my stupid questions!!

“No, I was preparing Halwa.” He said in a sarcastic tone. Ishaan and Sandy laughed.

“Guys, you came for me?” I asked. I felt so happy that I have people who care for me always.

“Come on Nieve!! Now, don’t become emotional. Guys, shall we go?” Sandy said as she hugged me from the side. I smiled at Ishaan and he smiled back.

Ishaan sat at the front to drive the car. I sat next to him. Giraffe and Sandy sat at the back. As Ishaan started the car, all the three hooted. The atmosphere turned into a fun filled one within half an hour. Only friends and family can perform this magic. Though I could not completely involve myself into the ongoing fun, my heart has become light. The car raced down the road. My anger had reduced a bit. But, I could not stop thinking about HIM.
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“Harsha! Where were you? I have been searching for you guys from morning. Where’s Anu? Is she coming behind?” Mom’s question startled me.

“What are you saying, Mom? Anu? She is not with me. I had gone for shooting.” I said.

“What?! Anu is not there in your room. And Ishaan too.” Mom said.

“Mom, they might have went out together. They are not kids. They have the right to go out. Don’t panic mom.” I told her.

“They could have informed me…. Wait, here’s a message from Anu. She had sent me at midnight.

‘MOM, ISHAAN AND I ARE GOING OUT ALONG WITH SANDY AND VIDYUT. WE WILL RETURN BY MORNING. DON’T PANIC, MOM. LOVE YOU.’ ”

Mom read her message. I frowned as soon as I heard the name, Vidyut. I don’t know why. I am becoming possessive. I am so happy that she had confessed her feelings to me yesterday. I was about to reply, when I received a message that the schedule has been advanced and I had to be there. So, I was not able to talk to her. Before I could tell her that I need to go, she was not there in our room. Then, I got dressed up and left for shooting.

When I thought of seeing her and talking to her after her cute confession, I was disappointed to find her not there. But, I hid my disappointment and went to my room. I took a shower and came downstairs for breakfast. Though I am disappointed by her absence, her confession just makes me smile when I remember it. She looked so cute while saying that. A smile crept my lips as I remembered it again. She is making me go mad.

“Remembering someone special?” Mom’s voice brought me to reality.
I looked at mom, who was smiling mischievously.

“Mom, you’re impossible!” I said and continued eating.

“Duffer!! You’ve become fat. That’s the reason the car had broke down” I heard Ishaan’s voice. I looked at the entrance, where Ishaan and SHE were coming.

“Ha ha.. Very funny!!” She replied in an adorable manner making me smile. She was dressed in a black top and a jean. Her hair looked quite messy, but she looked more beautiful. I couldn’t take my eyes from her. I looked at her eagerly to see the expression on her face after seeing me.

“What’s going on?” Mom asked.

“Mom, annie has become fat and she is not accepting the fact!” Ishaan said in a complaining tone.

“Shut up, Ishaan! Anu has not become fat.” Mom said.

“No mom, She has become fat. Because she is looking more fat than you.” Ishaan said unaware of the consequences.

As he said this, SHE nudged Ishaan and rolled her eyes at him. Ishaan gave a “what has happened” look to her.

“Does it mean that I am fat?” Mom asked Ishaan, narrowing her eyes.

Ishaan is gone today. He bit his tongue and slapped his forehead.

“No mom! I didn’t mean that….” He tried to manage.

“Then what did you mean?” Mom asked him. I saw HER, who was trying hard not to laugh. While all these was happening, my eyes were glued on to her. I smiled looking at the change of expressions on her face.

“Mom, what’s for breakfast? There’s a nice aroma! Looks like something spicy” He said as he probed the dining table.

“Don’t try to change the topic. And for your kind information my dear son, fruit salad and juice is for today’s breakfast. I don’t know which fruit tastes spicy. Could you please tell me Ishaan?” Mom asked, trapping Ishaan.

Ishaan showed his teeth and rushed into the kitchen. While we 3 laughed. This Ishaan is totally crazy. Then, I noticed her laughing. She had tears in her eyes due to constant laughing. She looked so innocent like a child. I kept on staring at her. Suddenly her eyes met mine. Her smile vanished seeing me. I could notice the sudden change over. What had happened? Why is she acting weird? Had I done anything wrong? Then I realised. May be she is angry with me for not answering her yesterday. She excused herself and went to our room. I finished my breakfast and followed her.

I went inside and locked the door. She was looking for something in the cupboard. Now, I am feeling weird. I want to talk my heart to her, but am not able to start. I don’t know how to start. I have proposed many heroines onscreen, of course. But am not able to talk off screen. I cleared my throat to gain her attention, but in vain. She continued her work. Gosh! Is she damn angry on me?

“Good morning” I uttered foolishly. Come on guys, I didn’t know how to start. She looked at me and then looked at the clock. Then again, she continued her work. I looked at the clock. It showed 11:00 a.m. Duh! Now I know the reason for her looking at me like that.

“Ananya, I need to talk to you.” I said somehow gathering confidence.

She looked at me. Though I had said that I needed to talk to her, I am not able to start. She turned and proceeded with her work again. Now, I felt agitated by her behaviour. She knew that I am trying hard to speak to her. Then why is she irritating me with her cold behaviour?

“Ananya” I called her again, this time agitation clearly reflecting in my tone. She looked at me bluntly. She then started to move. Now, that’s it for me. I held her hand.

“What’s your problem Ananya?” I asked her.

She tried to remove her hand from my hold. But I tightened my hold on her hand.

“I am asking you, what’s the problem?” I said.

“Nothing. Do leave my hand.” She said coldly.

“I won’t leave your hand” I said determinedly.

“Harsha, this is not the time to prank with me. Leave my hand.” She said. Her words are getting on to my nerves.

“Prank? Do you think that this is a prank?” I tried to say in a calm tone.

“Leave my hand” She said.

“I know that I didn’t talk to you after that. But try to understand, I had a call for shooting suddenly. I had to go.” I said.

She didn’t respond. She again tried to get rid of my hold. I tightened my hold more.

“I am sorry, Ananya! I know I should have responded you. I am sorry” I said sincerely looking into her eyes as I loosened my hold a bit. She tried to move, but I caught her and pulled towards me making her land onto my chest.

She didn’t respond again.

“Ananya! I know what have I done is wrong. If you want to punish, then punish. But, don’t be silent like this. Your silence is…. Your silence is killing me from inside.” I told her.

She didn’t respond. Now, this made my anger reach its peak.

“Ananya! Talk to me!! Don’t be silent like this!!” I shouted as I held her shoulders.

“What should I talk to you, harsha?” She asked me softly.

I looked at her.

“Should I ask you that please do spend quality time with me, Harsha? Should I tell you that please do inform me Harsha when are you going out? Should I ask you to treat me as a fellow human being and understand my feelings? Should I tell you how I miss you and how I LONG FOR YOU? What should I tell you harsha?” She said as she slumped down.

I was shocked by her sudden outburst. I held her and dragged towards me. I took her into a tight hug. She let out her tears and I could feel my shirt becoming wet. Had I hurt her this much? I am feeling so bad right now. Now, I have to mend this. I had hurt MY WIFE to this extent. I will mend this and set everything straight. I caressed her hair and hugged her more tightly.
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