I KNOW I KNOW….AS I DID…EVERYONE CANNOT WAIT FOR MORE TIME TO READ THE 4TH PART ESPECIALLY….AFTER READING THE THIRD ONE…SO HERE IS TIS MY SWEETIEYS
Episode – IV:
Little later my mom came out and said, finish the discharge formalities
let’s take her home.
We went home. She was resting in Adithi’s room and my mom gave her some
food as per the
physician’s instructions. Nethra requested us not to inform her parents as
they would just come
and rebuke her. This will add to her pain and in no way will give her
relief or change the
situation. Later, my mom came to my room and said, “I wanna have a word
with you”
I said, “Yes mom, what’s it about?”
She said, “It’s about Nethra”
I said, “Mom I’m really sorry, actually I was very angry with her and I
don’t know how I spoke all
that. Maybe because of anger”
She said, “There is nothing to feel sorry about. I knew you were in love
with her and I also knew
that you didn’t realize its love. She is not a bad choice to regret; she is
like this because of some
bad incidents that happened in the past; she is also a girl, a human being
who is deeply in need
of love that was denied by her heartless parents. I’ll talk to dad about
this if you are serious but
before that I need to clarify certain things with you”
I asked, “What is it?”
She said, “She attempted suicide because of vexation as her parents have
applied for Divorce
and her father is getting married to someone else after the divorce. An
insecure thought of their
lives and future had made her depressed and has been troubling her. That’s
why she had
decided to end her life”
I asked, “Mom anyway they are not together and the divorce is not going to
change anything.
She could have told me Mom. Death is not a solution”
Mom said, “When you are depressed you won’t be able to think and decide
wisely. Do you know
she hates men? She is friendly with you because you care for her; respected
her as a human
being ignoring her callous nature and grumpiness”
I asked, “What’s the reason to hate men in particular?”
Mom said, “Do you remember one day when we were watching a movie she became
nervous
and started to shiver”
I said, “Yes, I do remember”
Mom said, “Taking advantage of her family situation one of her relative had
been s*xually
harassing her for some time since she was thirteen years old. This has
affected her
psychologically; it’s kind of a mental disorder. If she comes across such
situations or thinks
about it or if she sees something that reminds her of that she becomes
nervous”
I said, “Mom, it’s shocking. How could life be so cruel on somebody who is
helpless?”
Mom said, “Life is like that. She wants to be happy, move around with
friends and lead a normal
life like other girls of her age but this incident makes her not to trust
anyone and she thinks
grumpiness and loneliness is a shield to protect her. She is very timid in
nature and fears about
life but she portrays herself as a bold and stern person. Now Arjun, tell
me are you patient and
matured enough to handle a wife like her?”
I said, “More than I know myself you know me better; you tell me mom will I
be able to handle
this?”
Mom said, “I don’t know, but my advice for you is to stay calm and make her
feel comfortable
with you. Make her trust you and love you. Love cures and pacifies. You
will have to be patient
till that. It’ll take time for her to develop confidence in you. Love is
not the relationship of two
bodies. It’s the bonding between the hearts & minds of two individuals that
lasts forever.
If you really love her as much as you portray, you’ve got to give her some
time. I’m really
concerned Arjun, she is not mentally sound right now and may not give in to
your urge for
physical intimacy. This might frustrate you to the extent of giving up your
relationship leading to
divorce or separation.
She attempted suicide because she didn’t like her parents’ divorce and just
imagine her mental
agony if she has to sail in the same boat. Take time, think and tell me.
Are you gonna take her
as your wife or are you gonna give up your love for the pleasure of
physical relationship?”
Mom paused for a moment and continued, “If you are going for the first
choice I’ll talk to dad
and at the right time we will talk to her mother or father”
I said, “Mom, there is no need to think I have made up my mind, It’s now I
love her more. I
wanna go for the first option. I wanna take her as my wife, I know her
heart is bruised; I wanna
heal her hurting and relive her from her pains. It’s no fault of hers mom.
I don’t know if she will
ever open up or mingle with anyone like she did with us and vice versa if
others would be able
to understand her pain and grief or not. I want to be by her side always
mom”
Mom said, “Don’t be hasty in deciding. It’s easy to say but practically
it’s difficult. As a mother I
wanna see my grandchildren. When I know the chances are very less, how do
you think I’ll
accept to it?”
I said, “Mom, It’s not a decision in haste. I’ll stand firm and stick on to
it come what may. To fulfill
your wish we can adopt children and if you want grandchildren in your
genes, technology has
advanced to great extent in the medical field. I don’t wanna quit her for a
silly reason mom”
Mom said, “Good, I appreciate your decision but time alone will reveal the
zeal of your love. All
that we discussed should be between you and me. You should never discuss
this with anyone
especially Nethra and embarrass her at any point of time in your life”
I said, “I swear, I’ll not discuss this with anyone”
Mom said, “We’ll talk about it later. Don’t trouble her asking anything.
Okay” saying this she
walked to the door and before she could leave, naughtily smiling she said,
“I have never come
across such a worst and wild proposal ever in my life”
After the discussion I was thinking about it and I felt pity for her. I
decided, I should provide her
a good life and replenish all the happiness and love that she lost all
these years.
I went Adithi’s room to see her. Adithi and Nethra were playing chess. I
pulled up a chair and
sat next to Adithi and said, “Hi Nethra, how are you feeling?”
She said, “Better”
I said, “Please don’t ever try to do like this again what so ever. I know
you’re grieving and your
heart is bleeding but death is not a solution for anything. I just thought
what if your attempt had
succeeded. The thought of losing you made me wild and that’s why I behaved
badly. I didn’t
mean to hurt you but I meant what I said. I’m very sorry if it had hurt you
in anyway”
She didn’t say anything but silence. I asked, “Shall we go out for a drive
and get some fresh air?
Adithi said, “Okay, let’s go to ice cream parlor I need triple sundae. What
do you want Nethra?”
I said, “Let me check with mom if I can take you out and if you can have
ice creams”
I asked my mom and she said, “Okay do not buy Nethra a sundae but maybe a
scoop if she can
take it. Don’t stay out for a long time. Come back soon” Adithi, Nethra and
I went to the nearby
park and were watching the people around, the children playing etc. A swing
was free and
Adithi said, “I wanna swing” and ran to the swing.
Nethra and I were sitting in a bench and she asked, “Can you do me a favor
please?”
I asked, “What is it?”
She said, “I wanna see Mithra, can you take me to her? She is studying 9th
standard in St.
Ebenezer School, Yelagiri”
I said, “Let me check with mom and if your health cooperates we shall go
this weekend”
I checked with my mom and dad during dinner. Dad said, “Let us all go and
visit Mithra this
week end. Anyway we were planning for a family outing; let’s combine it
together”
As planned we all started. On seeing her sister both of them hugged each
other and cried. We
didn’t know what to do and how to react on seeing this. Soon they became
normal and were
talking about their classes, studies, teachers, hostel and lot more. We had
lunch with Mithra,
during lunch Mithra said aloud to everyone, “Arjun is the only person
Nethra has ever
introduced as her friend till now and I’m very happy that she has someone
to share. Thanks a
lot, please take care of her. She is very reserved and will never tell
anyone what she feels”
I said “Don’t worry Mithra we’ll take care” and we started back to Chennai.
On the way back
Nethra said to my dad, “Thank you for organizing this trip uncle, I’m very
happy” Dad
said, “Please d on’t say thanks a make me a stranger. You’re happy right,
that’s what I wanted
child”
Just to divert the topic I said, “Adithi is also studying 9th standard
now”. Looking at Adithi, I
asked, “Is Mithra’s syllabus same as yours?”
Adithi said, “Yeah, Same CBSE syllabus”
Overall the trip was good. She was happy and I was happy too.
Days passed on like this and I did not discuss with Nethra about my love
for her and her opinion
about me except for the hospital incident. I tried to talk to her sometimes
but she avoided talking
about it. We completed our under graduation and went abroad for MBA and my
dad helped her
in getting an educational loan. After MBA I took up my dad’s business and
Nethra joined a
company. Adithi and Mithra moved to 12th standard.
Everything was fine and I asked my parents to ask Nethra’s mother for her
hand in wedding. As
Nethra’s parents are divorced, her mother took up the responsibility of
settling them. Her father
remarried and had a son. Nethra felt very ashamed and awkward.
When my parents asked her mother, she was not much interested in the
wedding. My parents
were very keen on the wedding and later she accepted. Our wedding was
fixed. Before the
wedding I wanted to ask Nethra if she was happy about the wedding because
there was no love
proposal, no acceptance and we were not lovers but good friends. I called
her and asked, “Are
you happy with the wedding?”
She said, “I think you’re ruining your life”
I asked, “Why do you say that? Don’t you like me?”
She said, “It’s not about like or dislike but it’s because of me, my
behavior, attitude etc. You’ll
have a tough time with me because I don’t know what a family is, what a
wife and husband
relationship is or how to build it. All I know is arguments, quarrel,
hatred, tears, pain and grief.
Since I didn’t have any pleasant memories during my childhood, I hate
having children and I
hate myself too. I hated being a symbol of sympathy and shame among my
friends and
relatives. I hate divorce. I think it’s the more cruel than any cruelty
ever existed in our society.
Divorce is worse than “Sati (A practice in the olden days where a woman
would be burnt alive
along with her husband in his death funeral)” No man can live a peaceful
life with a woman with
an attitude like mine. It will lead to divorce and I will become the apt
example for the
saying “Like mother, Like daughter””
I said, “Nethra, You don’t have to worry about the past and its negatives.
All I wanted to know is
if you like me or not? Give me a straight clear answer yes or no”
She said, “Yes as a friend, but”….
(but ?? what u people think…..that she will )