Hii… everyone…!! I am back with my next episode…!! I am going to reveal out letters matter…!! It’s might be little illogical in connection to before episode..!!As a writer…I can’t say it out..!!Please read at your own risk…!!And if you didn’t find it out… then I am saved..!!! 😉 😛
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Link to previous episode: Here
Link for all episodes: Here
RECAP: Swara childish behaviour in drunken state..!!! Sanskar finds out some letters which shocks him…!! He checks her study table and and gets much more shocked..!!
SWARA’S POV:
Opening my eyes slowly and forcefully… I couldn’t find anything except white…because of which I immediately closed again..!! I could feel the pain in my head and all over body…!! At that time someone made me sit and lean to a wall making me comfortable..!!
Slowly I was made to drink something…perhaps lemon juice… which I understood when I am slowly coming to my senses while drinking…!! This time when I opened my eyes… I could see some colours even though it was blur…!! Within few minutes…I completely came to my senses…!!
“OMG…!! It’s 3pm??!!! How come I have slept this much time???!!” I shouted panicking as soon as my eyes landed on wall clock…!!
“Are you fine now??!!” I heard some voice from my left side…!! I turned and got shocked seeing him in my room…!! ‘How come he is in my room??!! Wait a minute…!! First of all
How did I reach home??!! I am actually in party right???!! What happened to me??!! Why don’t I remember anything??!!….’
As my brain is busy in questioning… he said “Don’t worry…!!Nothing happened..!! You got drunk last night…and you had a hangover…!!That’s why you slept this much time…!!”
Me(panicked): “What??!! I got drunk??!! How??!!”
I started observing myself… as some movie scenes have flashed in my mind… and found that I am still in same saree… which is neatly pinned..!! Thank god..!! That means nothing had happened…!! I let a deep sigh immediately..!!Thanks to my senseless brain for creating a doubt like this…!!
Suddenly my mind struck me ‘Did he see my room completely??!!’ I turned and looked at him who is observing each and every action of mine from the start…!!
Perhaps he understood it seems… and immediately said… “Yess…!! I saw your room completely and checked that study table even…!!”
He slowly placed some letters in front of me saying… “And actually… I accidently came across these too… which you yourself had given to me in your dizzy state…!!”
I am horrified seeing them in his hands…!! Till now nobody knows about this….!! I didn’t understand what to do…!!
Sanskar(folding his hands) : “I understood you are an archaeologist…!! And I want clear explanation of all these letters and offers you got…!! I want you to explain about everything related to this in your life…!!As far as I know you studied engineering right??!!”
Me(serious and covering up) : “Why should I tell to you??!! It’s my wish… and It’s none of your concern…”
Suddenly he shouted at me interrupting my speech saying… “It’s my concern…!! And you should explain me…!! However and whatever you feel…right now I am your husband…and I have rights to know it…!!”
For an instance…my hair on body stood straight… with goose bumps covering all over on it… because of getting scared hearing his shout…!!! I never saw this side of him…!! I found no words coming out from my mouth to reply him back…!! Silence prevailed in the room for few minutes…!!
I decided to tell him everything… and he has right to know it… as he has seen them now…!! By spitting out truth my guilt of leaving him in future too would become less…!! So I opened up my mouth and started speaking…!!
Me: “It all started after I joined in IIT …!! As even you know… there we will have freedom in external activities… I got attracted to this field… and started my secret research in this area… spending my free time on it..!!
I did many online and offline interns too under Archaeological Survey of India…!!I used to visit the monuments possible and did work with them during my holidays…!! Neither my parents nor Ragini knew about this nor have I told them… scared that they won’t allow me further…!!
I shifted far to Bombay and joined in Core Company… so that I can still work on my passion secretly… without getting known to parents…!! I started doing online interns in arts and archaeological Universities of Egypt and Europe…!!
I worked under famous Egypt Archaeologist Zahi Hawass…and visited Egypt 2 times too…!! All these years I maintained my work confidential…!! These letters are all the job offers which I get every year from our India, Egypt and Europe… but I never joined in them…!!
My parents would never allow me in this unorthodox job….that too with less salary… and sending me far would be out of expectations…!!”
Meanwhile he interrupted asking… “Why won’t they allow??!! You should have given a try once…!!”
I gave a sarcastic smile and said… “Do you think I wouldn’t have??!! I tried to understand their reaction by telling about this research using my friend’s name… and their response was completely negative..!!
In fact you tell me… You are interested in doing job naa??!!But… are you able to convince your family about this??!! They still want you to join business right??!! Being a boy… if you have problem in convincing your parents to work on your interest… then how come are you expecting me, being a girl… to convince my parents for this odd job??!!”
I further continued saying… “As far as our marriage is concerned… I thought it would provide a way to work for my passion…!! Neither I am interested in it…nor never thought to give a try to our relationship even…!!
Considering my parent’s pressure and Ragini’s future…I decided to prove my parent’s decision of getting me married is wrong… by giving divorce to you after Ragini’s marriage…!! In that way I would become independent in taking my own decisions… and Ragini’s life too will get settled by that time..!!
It would help me in joining in Europe or Egypt… where there are more facilities for these types of research…with my parent’s support by that time…!!”
I said everything… whatever has been in my mind…and waited for his reaction…!! But he said nothing and seems like lost in his thoughts…!! “SANSKAR…!!” I called him slowly… but still he didn’t respond…!! “SANSKAR…!!” I raised my voice little bit while calling and held his hand… making him come out of his world…!!
Sanskar(serious and dull) : “So… you married me so that you will get freedom after our divorce to work for your passion??!!”
I simply nodded in agreement without speaking…!!
Sanskar(sadly) : “Till now I thought you never trusted in Enduring relationships and that’s why you are behaving like this…!! But I never thought you are this much selfish…!! Have you ever thought of me??!! Have you ever thought of my feelings??!!”
I saw his eyes becoming moist while speaking…!!
Me(concerned): “SANSKAR…!!Yess… It’s true that I had never trusted in these long-lasting relationships…and it’s also another reason for leaving you…!! I am really sorry… for what I have done to you…!! I know I am selfish…and I used you for this even…!! But I am not completely responsible for this…!! It’s your mistake to marry me…!! I warned you many times not to marry me… or else you will regret in future…but you never listened..!!
Even till today… I kept on warning you to stay away from me… considering your future only…!!”
Sanskar(crying and shouting with anger): “Yess…!! It was completely my mistake of marrying you…!!Thank you soo much for the punishment you are going to give me in future…for this…!!Leave about me and my family…!! But what about your family and your sister??!!!
Have you ever thought about their feelings??!! Did you ever thought how much heartbroken they would be when they see their daughter getting divorced??!! For your dreams and stupid thoughts… you are playing with all our feelings and emotions…!!”
I couldn’t take anymore… and I started shouting..!!
Me(shouting): “Stop it…!! I said stop it…!! I had listened enough…!! So what are you telling me???!!! Are you telling me to leave my dreams and force myself into this stupid unwanted relationship which will be nothing but a misery at the end??!! You are talking about my parents right..??!! Should I spoil my whole life for them??!!
Suddenly…I found out… I was shouting… and stopped speaking…!! Slowly tears started coming out from my eyes too…!!
I started speaking with low and understanding voice while crying…!! “You found my thoughts stupid right??!! But this is the truth…!! Right now… no matter how much assurance you give… about us spending together happily in future… it’s completely uncertain…!! We can’t confirm for sure that we will be happy forever…!!
But my decision of living my free independent life… working for my passion…having satisfaction in it… is better than this current unpredictable life…!! I am sure that… I would spend each and every moment of my life happily and contended…because I will be living my own life with no one’s influence…!!
And coming to my parents and Ragini… they would be definitely unhappy about my broken relation… but eventually they would forget about it… seeing my happiness…!!
The only wrong I have done is using you…for my selfishness…!! And I am really very very very sorry about it…!! But I never intentionally tried to play with your feelings… !! I tried my best to keep you as far as from me…so that you will move on easily after our divorce…!!”
After listening to this… he clapped his hands thrice… and started laughing madly…!!! He started walking towards me and said “Are you saying that you never played with my feelings??!!!”
He held me tight on my shoulders and pinned me to the wall and shouted on me “Are you saying you never played with my feelings haa??!! Tell me..!!”
I looked into his eyes… and sensed his anger on me…!! I am unable to answer his question in that shock…!!
Sanskar(still holding): “You said that one can’t love someone for a long time right??!!! Then what about me who has been loving you for 7 years??!! You said that you never played with my feelings right??!!Then what about the feelings which I got on you since 7 years??!!According to you these are all trash right??!!
When I met you after 7 years… I thought you have become matured, understanding person than before…!! But I never thought that you were a stupid girl with non-sense thoughts and selfish about your own life…!! I am regretting myself for loving such a person in my life…!!
But I am not a selfish person to force you into this unwanted relationship…!! Unlike you… my love is self-less which always wants only your happiness…!! I will give you divorce soon…!! Thank you soo much for enlightening me about yourself at least now…!!”
Saying this he want away from the room slamming the door…!! I immediately fell on to the floor… sliding on wall…!!
‘what about me who has been loving you since 7 years??!!’
‘what about the feelings which I got on you since 7 years??!!’
All his words have been continuously echoing in my mind…!! Is he really in love with me since 7 years??!! No..No… he can’t…!! Anyways he can’t love in the same way like now in future…!!
And he accepted to give me divorce right??!!Even I wished the same thing to happen…!! But why am I still crying??!! Did I do anything wrong??!! I don’t know..!! I wanted all these things to happen… but not in this way…!! I told everything to him… but why am I still feeling guilty??!!
If I hadn’t married… things might not have become this much complicated…!! He is right…!! I am a stupid and selfish girl…!! I am stupid and selfish enough to marry and use him… making our both lives miserable…!! And I don’t deserve forgiveness from him… for messing his life…!!
Tears have been continuously rolling from my eyes… and I have been sobbing like anything…!! Only thing I can do right now is to simply wait for the time to pass…!!
POV ENDS..!!
***Guys… I tried my level best to make you people understand…!! I don’t know whether you got it or not..!! If anyone… still didn’t get clear idea…about swara’s reason of leaving sanskar…. please read the short description in comments section…!!
PRECAP: Swara missing??!!!
If you understood before reading the comment only… please comment that I expressed it good and you people understood it before reading..!!
///////////////// HALF PART COMPLETED…!!THIS IS THE INTERVAL OF MY FF..!!//////////////
Yoo…Guys…I completed half of my story…!! And I hope…You people… enjoyed up to this journey..!! :D:D
I think most of have felt weird after reading about this letters..!! 😛 I think none might have thought like this…!! I know now everyone are angry about our stupid swara character..!!
As a writer it’s my duty to enlighten her about relationships… and as a reader pray to god to make swara’s brain bulb glow..!!
But still… don’t you feel swara is somewhere right??!! I mean… now-a-days we can see how people have been taking divorces because of lack of love between them…!! According to me… we really can’t assure that our marital life is going to be happy…!! If our partners are not good… definitely we will face tortures..!!
And may be after few years… we might even get bored of our life… but still continue our relation just for sake of society and our children..!!
But I would definitely agree that our Swara is dumb enough to see self-less, eternal love in sanskar…!! But in real world… those type of sanskar’s would rarely exist…!! 😉
Please comment your views about swara’s character this time…. and I am ready to face all positive and negative comments unlike last time…!! 😀