Hello everyone……. Hw Hv u all been…..well first of all a Merry Christmas to all of u…..& a biggie big wala thanks was such a dhamakedaar response….& another biggie big sorry for being late…..but today I won’t give reasons….u all won’t like it…..but I apologize from d bottom of my heart…..well I Hv written this one a while ago….but wasn’t able to post it…….so here it come….but let me tell u very honestly…..this one’s not that good….like what u all expect….but I can promise u all ill write a bttr one next time…..& I dedicate this one to Myra,Jess,Anna,shoryu & farjana……myra I miss….come back soon……lastly plz ignore all my typos & grammatical errors……
Njoy d ride…….
RADHIKA’S POV……
His heatbeats were like a lullaby to me…..I don’t know why but d way he held me …..it felt like I was his …..his everything……every single place where his body touched mine was burning with d unknown fire……..his warmth was soothing…..utterly magical & unimaginably peaceful……his arms around me felt like d only thing that could protect me from any harm…….his hold felt heart calming yet possessive…..it’s wrong…..I know….this all is…….thn why do I feel it’s d only right thing to do….?….why do I feel like he has every single right to hold me like this…….& I have every right to be here…..in his arms…….every time he looks at me it feels like something in me aches for him……….though i know he loathes me ……even I hate him……. thn why my body…my heart….my eyes doesn’t respond d same way……..why……why am I having this weird feelings????…..
..suddenly he stirred & before I knew what was happening he got up from d bed & started moving away……everything was alright thn suddenly what happened to him…..why he moved away as if he couldn’t stand me anymore….as if he just realized what he was doing……….I quickly got up ….ran to him & clutched his hand as tightly as possible…….d moment my fingers touched his……….he stopped dead in his track but didn’t turn around…..grabbing every ounce of courage left in me ….I asked him in a small.. meek voice….”why?…”….d moment this question left my mouth…..i felt muscles at his back twitch…..thn there was this complete dark silence … D only thing that could b heard was our breathing…I knew it bttr that he wouldn’t rply…maybe even I shouldn’t care…..but today I wanted him to…..I wanted to know……right then he freed his hand & took another step ….a tear escaped my eyes …….my mind kept repeating to back off ….that he is a bloddy killer but something ……something deep inside me ached to hold him for once ….as if he only could calm my nerves…. Soothe my heart…..& I did d same….. I held his pinky finger tightly by mine as if my life depends on this……for a sec there wasnt any moment but thn I felt his finger tightening around mine gently but possessively……….he swiftly turned around….& I could feel his gaze at our intertwined finger… My heart was beating at an inhuman speed….slowly i raised my eyes to look at him…….d moment his dark eyes met mine…..I saw emotions…..a wave of different emotions which I never saw before…..but thn again in a blink of eyes they were gone as if they never existed…….it felt like he doesnt want me to let in…as if he was pushing me away…..before I realised what I was doing ….my hand shot up & started caressing his cheek gently….for a sec I felt like he was leaning in my touch…..but thn I know thts not possible… & unknowingly words slipped my mouth….”please….” ….His eyes gleamed…& i felt his pinky finger tightening around mine……but he remained silent….for mins we both stood like that…….thn I said looking straight in his dark eyes “why…why do u hate me this much……?…what Hv I done..? ” …hearing this his eyes gleamed with fire….cold fire ….& thn within a flash he pinned me to d wall with such a force that a gasp escaped my lips…..thn he roughly grabbed my jaw & pulled up my face to look straight at him…….d dark look in his eyes caused me to shiver a little….. His eyes were red…..jaw clenched…..seeing him like this I squirmed under him……I have seen him angry before but today there was a lot more to it……today he seemed ballistic……at d moment his eyes spoke only one thing ….hatred…..immense hatred…..is it even possible to hate someone this much???….my trains of thought came to a hault when his hold around my jaw tightened…..causing a painful hiss to escape my lips……thts when I heard him in a dark yet cold tone….”u nvr understaRADHIKA’S POV……
His heatbeats were like a lullaby to me…..I don’t know why but d way he held me …..it felt like I was his …..his everything……every single place where his body touched mine was burning with d unknown fire……..his warmth was soothing…..utterly magical & unimaginably peaceful……his arms around me felt like d only thing that could protect me from any harm…….his hold felt heart calming yet possessive…..it’s wrong…..I know….this all is…….thn why do I feel it’s d only right thing to do….?….why do I feel like he has every single right to hold me like this…….& I have every right to be here…..in his arms…….every time he looks at me it feels like something in me aches for him……….though i know he loathes me ……even I hate him……. thn why my body…my heart….my eyes doesn’t respond d same way……..why……why am I having this weird feelings????…..
..suddenly he stirred & before I knew what was happening he got up from d bed & started moving away……everything was alright thn suddenly what happened to him…..why he moved away as if he couldn’t stand me anymore….as if he just realized what he was doing……….I quickly got up ….ran to him & clutched his hand as tightly as possible…….d moment my fingers touched his……….he stopped dead in his track but didn’t turn around…..grabbing every ounce of courage left in me ….I asked him in a small.. meek voice….”why?…”….d moment this question left my mouth…..i felt muscles at his back twitch…..thn there was this complete dark silence … D only thing that could b heard was our breathing…I knew it bttr that he wouldn’t rply…maybe even I shouldn’t care…..but today I wanted him to…..I wanted to know……right then he freed his hand & took another step ….a tear escaped my eyes …….my mind kept repeating to back off ….that he is a bloddy killer but something ……something deep inside me ached to hold him for once ….as if he only could calm my nerves…. Soothe my heart…..& I did d same….. I held his pinky finger tightly by mine as if my life depends on this……for a sec there wasnt any moment but thn I felt his finger tightening around mine gently but possessively……….he swiftly turned around….& I could feel his gaze at our intertwined finger… My heart was beating at an inhuman speed….slowly i raised my eyes to look at him…….d moment his dark eyes met mine…..I saw emotions…..a wave of different emotions which I never saw before…..but thn again in a blink of eyes they were gone as if they never existed…….it felt like he doesnt want me to let in…as if he was pushing me away…..before I realised what I was doing ….my hand shot up & started caressing his cheek gently….for a sec I felt like he was leaning in my touch…..but thn I know thts not possible… & unknowingly words slipped my mouth….”please….” ….His eyes gleamed…& i felt his pinky finger tightening around mine……but he remained silent….for mins we both stood like that…….thn I said looking straight in his dark eyes “why…why do u hate me this much……?…what Hv I done..? ” …hearing this his eyes gleamed with fire….cold fire ….& thn within a flash he pinned me to d wall with such a force that a gasp escaped my lips…..thn he roughly grabbed my jaw & pulled up my face to look straight at him…….d dark look in his eyes caused me to shiver a little….. His eyes were red…..jaw clenched…..seeing him like this I squirmed under him……I have seen him angry before but today there was a lot more to it……today he seemed ballistic……at d moment his eyes spoke only one thing ….hatred…..immense hatred…..is it even possible to hate someone this much???….my trains of thought came to a hault when his hold around my jaw tightened…..causing a painful hiss to escape my lips……thts when I heard him in a dark yet cold tone….”u nvr understand…. now do u….?…..dont test my patience …..just dont……all this…….
Crying….touching…..emotions…..all this crap…..it doesnt work on me…..
Coz ill kill u….& that i can assure u will hppn soon….” Hearing this my eyes widened causing tears to roll down my eyes…..thats when he pressed me futher in d wall & said in an icy cold tone “What did u think….that Im wiping off ur tears….Im saving ur life…..Im letting u live…. Bcoz I Hv grown a soft corner for u……..thn u Hv got it all wrong radhika….”….I flinched at d way he called my name with so much hatred….. This is d first time he is calling me by my name…..& d way he did caused a lone tear to escape my eyes……in his tone i could feel a promise….a dark promise of what was coming….all this was scaring me to death & unknowingly I started digging my nails in my palm…..seeing this he tightened his hold & chuckled darkly…saying……” No…I won’t kill u …….not until I play with u d way I want…….I’ll make ur f**king father pay in a way he wouldn’t imagine….I’ll make him so helpless that…….he will cry….he will beg…hell even if he will sell himself for ….his world….his only daughter….still he wouldn’t b able to save her….I’ll destroy his most precious thing in a way he couldn’t imagine………he would beg me to rather kill him…..but I won’t………I would make him watch & feel d pain of d one & only one he have ever loved……I would make his life living hell…….I would give him a type of pain that he would curse d day he came in this world……….I would torture him mentally….emotionally…..slowly yet painfully….till d point he looses every thing…. Every f**king thing……& thn I’ll kill him….” Now he stopped for a sec & looked strt in my eyes….& thn said ” …..by killing u…..” I stood there numb…..it felt like something clenched my heart…..my tears were rolling down my cheeks…..but I couldn’t move my glassy eyes from his dark one….in d darkness of room my eyes searched his….for something I didn’t know…….but his dark eyes held only darkness….cold darkness that could destroy everything…..I vigorously shook my head in denial….this can’t b true…………unable to hold any longer I punched him on his chest once…..twice….thrice…..again….again….& again ….saying…” Thn why u didn’t???…….tell me….why u didn’t killed me before……moreover if u wanted to kill me thn….why did u saved me today from that man?…….why did u saved me from jai that day?….. if he would Hv succeeded thn my soul would Hv died …..i would Hv died …..thats what u wanted right????…..thn why…..why u saved me…..tell me Arjun……tell me…” I yelled last part all crying…..thts when he pushed his body against mine with d force …..his eyes turned darker….& he pulled my hair harshly yelling….” Because u r mine dammit…..only mine….”….my heart stopped for a moment…..I stood frozen….I blinked….once….twice….thrice….thts when he said…..” …i would break u till d point u couldn’t b repaired………but I wouldn’t let anyone b d reason for ur pain….for ur tears………there would b only my name over ur pain….over ur every single tear ….U r mine to break…… U r mine to destroy…… U r mine to kill….only mine…..” ….saying this he left d room without turning back…..& I fell down on my knees….. As his words sunk in….I broke down…..my sobs grew louder….. His every single word felt like knife piercing my body in billion places…..I was scared……his gaze ….his words …..his hatred terrified me…..if his words could hurt this much….thn what would his actions do…….my whole body was shivering….. But above all this I was feeling pain…..unknown…. Undeniable…. & undefined pain…..all this while he saved me to kill me more painfully…….is this all real?………his dark eyes full of hatred flashed in my mind again & again…. I’m just a toy for him…..someone whom he could use against my dad…..he is same as everyone else…..he is a monster….a living death…..& today he proved that to b true…..but why his words r hurting me….why am I feeling broken…..i hate him….thn why am I feeling a void…..I cried…..i cried till my tears dried & my sobs reduced to hiccups….. I lied their on d cold floor…..my cheeks & body brushed against d hard & cold surface……but d chills it sent down my spine was nothing against d one that his hatred….his words caused…..I curled up in a ball……slowly darkness engulfed me…..& like that everything blacked out….pain…tears….everything…..that night felt as dark & lonely as it could be….there wasn’t any dream…..there wasn’t any warmth….just darkness & only darkness….
Next morning I felt something soft over my forehead…… My body was shivering from cold……my eyelids heavy…..when suddenly I heard a soft voice….. “Radhika….radhika…” Very slowly I opened my eyes to find aunty kneeling beside me ….seeing her something stirred in me….. something clenched my heart tightly….. As if I was expecting someone else….him…..tears rolled down my eyes…..I quickly hugged her tightly as if pouring all my pain & hurt…she helped me to sit up & said in caring tone..”shh….it’s OK…..don’t cry….shh…everything will b alright….” Saying this she hugged me back & wiped my tears off…..& said in a panicked filled voice… “Oh my god…u r having high fever…..ur whole body is burning……beta it’s already so cold here & moreover u slept on this cold floor…..u shld Hv slept on d bed na….now see ur condition….. ….OK….let’s first get u some breakfast & medicine ……” With that she helped me to d washroom….urrgh…my head is spinning….its feeling as if someone is hammering me…..I quickly freshened up….. Thn she took me down d stairs carefully holding me by my shoulder….. & said….” How could u b so careless beta…..see ur temp is increasing…. Ur whole body is shivering… U should Hv…” She stopped dead in her steps….& her words as if died in her throat….. I looked at her confused…….her gaze was fixed at something…. Eyes as if would come out of socket any minute….. I followed her gaze…. & my face mirrored her expressions…..to say I was shocked would be an understatement…… There right in front of me…..Arjun was sitting casually on d chair….keeping one leg on d top of d other as if a king…..his face as emotionless as I remember it to be……but that’s not what shocked me….right in front of him stood uncle holding a gun straight against his forehead…… For few mins….there was complete silence…..dead silence…..nobody spoke a word ….until I heard uncle …”Si shouldn’t sono stati qui a d al primo posto….Arjun…”..(You shouldn’t have been here at d first place….Arjun…)….I didn’t get a single word of what he was saying…..but tears flowing down aunty’s eyes made one thing clear that she clearly understood it….however whatever uncle was saying doesn’t seem to bother Arjun….not even a little….he Sat there as if uncle was holding a toy in his hands…..it was hard for me to even stand straight…. My head was spinning due to high fever & cold….it felt like another few min & I’ll fall down…….. That’s when uncle said….”Voi sapete che mi si poteva uccidere proprio questa seconda……”….(You know I could kill you right this second……)……Arjun….shrugged…& said….”Hmmmm…..ma per me sarebbe solo prendere un millisecondo….”….(Hmmmm…..but for me it would only take a millisecond….)…hearing this uncle looked confused ….but after a sec realisation struck him & his eyes grew wider….that’s when I noticed a gun in arjun’s hand pointed towards aunty….my breath hitched….where did it come from….it wasn’t there just a second ago…..I looked at Arjun in shock….my mouth agape…..that’s when I heard aunty’s broken voice in between her sobs..”h…he is m…my A..Arjun?…” What????….her Arjun?….who is she???…he knew her before all this?….now she Started moving towards him….when uncle said…”don’t….this is not our Arjun…..he can never be…” Saying this he hugged her crying form….holding her to go to him….but she moved away from him…& stood in front of Arjun all crying… Her lips quivering….she tried to touch his face by her trembling hands when uncle said….”Si dovrebbe lasciare……adesso”…..(you should leave…..right now)…. With that aunty fell on d ground all crying…..& Arjun without wasting a sec started dragging me out….when we reached d door…..I heard uncle “Arjun…” With that I stopped dead in my track hearing all d pain & love in his voice……after a sec or two Arjun too stopped but didn’t turned around…….thts when uncle continued…. “Would u Hv pressed d trigger?….” Hearing this my heart skipped a beat ….not bcoz what he asked….but bcoz of what d answer would b…..there was this silence air which we all breathed waiting for his answer…..but when it came….it shook us all ….”yes…” That’s what he said….coldly & darkly…& thn I heard a painful sob from aunty…& just looking at d uncle I could tell how broken he was at d moment……i averted my eyes at Arjun to see something… Anything…. Which could tell that he said this only to make thm feel worst……but d moment I did….I knew he wasn’t lying….he meant it when he said yes…….suddenly tears Started flowing down my eyes…..I don’t know for whom I was crying….for aunty????…..for uncle????….or for him???….again he started dragging me away when I heard uncle….””So che lei è” …..(I know who she is…) This time Arjun was d first one to stop……& thn he tightened his hold unintentionally……. Thts when uncle continued…. “”.Ho conosciuto fin dal giorno che sei venuto……& ho visto il tuo modo di guardare la sua….”.. (I Hv known it since d day u came……& I Hv seen d way u look at her……)…thts when he clenched his jaw……whatever uncle said caused his hold to tighten more causing my hand to turn a little red…………again I heard uncle…..””Don’t lasciare la tua vendetta sopraffare il vostro cuore…..almeno non questa volta….”… (Don’t let your revenge overpower your heart…..atleast not this time….)…..now uncle looked straight in my eyes & said…..””Don’t lasciala andare…..coz se u ha fatto … voi wouldn’t ottenere il suo indietro……..don’t lasciare che qualcuno o qualcosa che rubare il suo lontano da voi..”…… (Don’t let her go…..coz if u did …you wouldn’t get her back……..don’t let anyone or anything steal her away from you…) Now Arjun intertwined his fingers with mine & looked strt in my eyes as if looking through me…..like he was afraid of something….. But thn he turned around swiftly & growled at him….””..Lei è la mia….solo mio…..”…. (She is mine….only mine)……with that he dragged me away….I turned around to look at aunty waving at me all crying causing my own tears to roll down…..
PRESENT…. (AFTER 5 YEARS)….
THIRD PERSON POV
Radhika was standing against d window….looking out at d moon…..it felt like her eyes was searching something…… There was this peace mixed with pain on her face…..she slowly closed her eyes…..as if feeling d calmness & beauty of moon light…..that when someone started tugging at her top….she quickly looked down & a sweet smile covered her face seeing d person in front of her…..Raj……her son….her life………she kneeled down at his level ….thn lovingly she moved his hairs from his forehead & said with a smile….”Raj…..what r u doing out of ur bed….it’s too late…..ur Neil dada would b waiting for u na….go & sleep” saying this she placed a kiss over his cheek…..she was abt to get up….when Raj interlinked his pinky finger with hers….& said…..”mom ….I want to shleep with u…..Neil dada doesn’t know how to tell a shtory….he keeps repeating shame shtory again & again……but I want to hear a shtory….a good one…..plz….only one….plz…plzzz…pletty plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… ” saying this he made a puppy face…..all this while radhika kept looking at d way Raj held her pinky finger….a hot tear rolled down her cheek…..but she quickly wiped it off & said….”OK….but only one story…..thn u would go back to sleep…..promise????….u know na ur Neil dada couldn’t sleep without u…” Hearing this Raj bleamed & placed a kiss happily over her cheek & said “promish…..” ….But thn suddenly confusion covered his face & he asked radhika “mom……why Neil dada couldnt shleep without me…..is he alsho afraid of ghosts…?….” Hearing this radhika wrapped him in her arms & said smilingly….”no….ur Neil dada ain’t afraid of any ghosts…….its only that he loves u sooooooooooooo much that he couldn’t sleep without u”….hearing this Raj started grinning….he quickly moved out of radhika’s arm & said happily….” Really?????…..he loveshhh me shoooooo much?….” Radhika smiled at his innocence & nodded her head….thn he moved a little closer to her….thn looked at his left & thn right…as if checking for anyone else around…& thn he said in a slow whisper……” Don’t tell him mom……but I alsho love him…..even though he cheats me in games….he shteals my chocolates….he drinks half of my chocolate shake…..he doesn’t even know a good shtory….moreover shometimes he even fights with me……….but then alsho….I love him shooooooooooooo much….” Saying this he spread his arms apart showing her how much he loved him….radhika stared at him for few minutes…. Her heart swelled hearing his words….tears formed in her eyes….but she blinked thm away…..thn she took both of his palms in her hand & placed a kiss on them…..& thn she said in a soothing voice….”I know…..I know u love him tooo…..& I won’t tell him….” Saying d last part she chuckled a little with d tears at d corner of her eyes…..now Raj smiled to d fullest & he said….”u won’t???…..” Suddenly his face fell a little as if he realised something…. & he said….”I know u won’t….how would u tell him …when u don’t talk to him…..leave talking u don’t even look at him……why mom??….why don’t u talk to him??” Hearing this radhika froze at her place….she tried her best but this time tears didn’t stop…..she hugged him tightly as if her life is depending on it & started crying……she couldn’t answer him….what would she tell him….why ain’t she talking to his Neil dada..????…her tears paced up….that’s when Raj pulled back…….radhika kept looking at him…….when slowly he brought his hand towards her cheek & wiped d tears flowing down her cheeks with his small fingers…..he shook his head in no…& said…”don’t cry mom……..I couldn’t see u crying…..I know dada did something wrong…..that’s why u r crying……don’t cry…..Im there na…..now I’m a big man……I’ll break his nose if he again makes u cry….. Don’t cry mom…..I don’t feel good seeing u like this…” This did it for radhika…..now she couldn’t control anymore…..she hid her face in his small palms & broke down…..that’s when door to her room opened & someone walked in…..& thn Raj ran towards d person & said….”shammy……see na mom is crying…..I made her cry….I asked her why is she ain’t talking to dada….even when u said never to ask her….it’s my mistake…..im shorry….plzzz…plzzz tell her not to cry…… shammy tell her na…..”….thn he ran towards radhika & crying held her ears in his hands & said….”shorry mom….I won’t do it again…I promish……plz don’t cry…” Seeing him like this her heart broke down to million pieces….thats when Sam came to her & placed her hand over her shoulder & nodded at her…..thn radhika quickly composed herself & said wiping off her tears…. “OK Mumma won’t cry….now stop crying….” Saying this radhika wiped his tears off & hugged him tightly..thn Sam cleared her throat & said….”OK u both continue…..ignore me….I’m going to get married in a week…..thn I’ll go away from u both….but why would u both care….who am I to u guyz???….right???….I was only stupid that I thought I would share my ice cream with someone…. Naa continue…… I’ll go & have my ice cream alone….” Saying this she turned around a little ….when Raj quickly went to her & said “no…no….I wasn’t ignoring u…..u know na u r my best frnd….& best frnds share things…..so come on let’s eat ice cream…. ” hearing this Sam raised her eyebrows at him & said….” Sharing????…..best frnds???….huh???….last time I remember u didn’t shared ur chocolate shake with me…..instead to gave half of it to ur dada……at that time where was this ur so called “sharing”…?…. No ill have my chocolate ice cream alone….” Saying this she again turned a little away from him…..”offo shammy…..u don’t understand…..that chocolate shake wasn’t that good….thts why I didn’t gave u…..” Now sam again raised her eyebrow & said….”aaahaan…..really?….” Raj quickly nodded at her….& thn signalled her to bend down…..sam bend down to his level & the he whispered slowly in her ears….”shammy we shouldn’t waste time….if dada got to know abt this chocolate ice cream….thn he wouldn’t let us have it alone….”…Sam nodded her head just like him & said….” U r right…..we should finish it before he gets to know….do one thing….theres d tub over d table in d kitchen….u go & bring it ….” Hearing this he ran to d kitchen …..thn Sam let out a sigh & turned around to look at radhika…..there she was standing in front of d glass door…..looking out….her face fully covered with tear…….sam stood behind her & said….”don’t…..atleast not in front of him….”…now radhika started sobbing badly & said….”h…he told me that he would break Neil’s nose if he again made me cry……… Why is God playing like this with me Sam??….why???”….now Sam hugged her tightly from behind & started crying…..”after all these years…..nothing changed….neither ur love….nor ur pain……….” Radhika gently removed her arms & said without turning…. “It wouldn’t Sam…..it wouldn’t……atleast not till I’m breathing” saying this she opened d door & started moving away ….when Sam said….”won’t u ever forgive Neil?…not even for me???..” ….radhika stopped dead in her track…..she stood there for few sec & thn walked away towards d garden….
Thts for today….will b back very soooooon I promise….. Silent readers do let me know ur views….. Muuuuuha