NOISE OF THE PAST – CHAPTER 19 (SECOND LAST CHAPTER)

Hey friends… This is the second last chapter and the journey till this has been amazing. You people are the best readers any new writer could have got…
Anyway coming to the chapter. Please note that this is the second last chapter and not the last… So don’t assume things.
Secondly.. This chapter may seem overly real to you and you may find it boring or not worth reading.. But I have tried my best to make it ‘real’. Many of you wanted Shravan’s pov.. But right now my hands are full.. Like I have got my board exams coming.. Then there are other stories… But i will try my best to fulfil your wish…
Love you all.. You are free to say it in your comments if you don’t like the chapter… It would hurt… but it would be for my own good… But this story… I mean the second part.. Has been really satisfying for me…so i will have no regrets.. Enough of blabbering.. Here comes..

CHAPTER-19

Plan begins.
If you think that I will propose him or something, then I am sorry to disappoint you. I will not.
I take out my laptop and start writing.

Hey Mr. Malhotra. I wonder if you recognise me?
Because my email Id gives you no hint about who I am. Does it? But its obvious, isn’t it? Very few people know that you have got an email id.

Frankly speaking, I don’t even think that you will read it. But someone taught me that letting out emotions is a good thing. So here I am!
You must be wondering that why I didn’t say all this to you face to face. Why wait for us to go separate ways? I have an answer for that. When I wanted to say things that might have mattered to you, I was too late and I don’t regret it. I am not talking about feelings and stuff. They are a different story altogether. If I started on that, I might never finish.

But I will still give it a try and express as much as possible. You know, you were really charming when I met you. You still are to some people but for me, you have become a different person altogether. I would hate it if you say that I play a part in this transformation. I never wanted to. I still want us to be back to the initial stage of our acquaintance. Its not that the relationship period was not good. It was a wonderful feeling. And I cherish it. But then you know, there are always complications in relationships and that’s why I hate them. There are compromises and the biggest one is that you have to sacrifice whatever previous bond you shared. I will not lie. I was really flattered by the attention I got from you. Really flattered. But that was initially. As we moved ahead, I realised that all this is a lot more serious than I expected. And then when you expect me to act like I am supposed to, I do not. Why? Because I am a fool and its not really my fault there. Default you know. So yeah, I knew I did wrong by keeping you waiting for over a year but I seriously didn’t have an option. I honestly didn’t. Its not like I left any. Let me be honest here and tell you the truth. I am not meant for feelings as strong as yours. They do something to me and I loose control over myself. Imagine what would have happened had you got any more close to me. I would have gone wild. I am saying this because it really does happen with me. We both were way too secretive. And that’s what created a wall. Another thing is that I know you didn’t trust me and who knows, you don’t even do now. This upset me badly. Trust is the basis. If that’s absent then forget about other things.

I am not here to give you a philosophical lecture but I am surely here to tell you a few things that I wanted to tell you. Some are really old things and some new. Some are observations and some are admissions. You play a part in all these. So yeah I will say them to you:
– You are really handsome.
– I love your hair. Its your most attractive feature. Please stop messing with it and read ahead.
– You are intelligent and aggressive. But I want you to be smart. Smart men are always more wanted than intelligent men.
– You walk really fast. Like really fast. Slow down a bit otherwise you would leave something behind.
– You always beat around while laughing. At least that’s what you did the last time I saw you laugh.
Your laugh will always be one of the most memorable image for me.
– You always want to be close to the person you are talking to and you use your hands a lot.
– You are a big foodie.
– I have never seen tears in your eyes and I would never want to. Your smile is lovely. It always reaches your eyes.
– There’s a typical expression you have for situations like when you are stumped, when you are speechless or when you know what the other person is saying is right and you are at fault. I will definitely miss that expression.
– You dance when you are extremely happy though you never danced even once in front of me. I would have found myself in splits had I seen you doing so.
– You are really moody.
– You have a flirtatious nature.
– You have changed me, both for good and bad causes.
– You have taught me endless things.
– I always wrote in my diary knowing that you will read it. Its like I was writing to you and not my diary.
– You have given me my hidden talent and passion. Oh I didn’t tell you, did I? I have become a writer. All thanks to you.

– I have never shed so many tears for anyone else. You shouldn’t be upset about this because people who can hurt you the most are always the one really close to your heart. And you are.
– I care for you and you matter to me.
– I am sorry. You can take that for whatever you feel, I did wrong.
– And its okay for whatever wrong you did.
Now some true, bitter, honest confessions.
– You are short tempered.
– You are insecure. Trust issues you know.
– you have made me hate the word ‘sorry’. I hate it.
– You have become a bit arrogant. I am not saying arrogance is a bad thing. Little bit of it is okay. But even arrogance has class you know.
– please value the people around you because I see you and I fear that one day you will loose everyone and I don’t want that to happen.

That’s its for now. Long list huh. These are things which I have always wanted to tell you. But I guess I was not brave enough and you were not interested enough. So yeah. Mr. Malhotra, you have always asked me about my crushes so today I am gonna tell you the truth. The reality is, there’s not one person on earth who can fulfil my requirement of being a perfect crush. My crushes only exist in fiction. I have always been the one to fall in love with the characters and I am afraid that if this goes on I wouldn’t be able to find myself any real man.

So Mr. Malhotra why do you think that I have taken so much pain to wait for our graduation and do this. Just an email? Its because it is almost everything that was ever inside me about you and us. Hey hey please don’t think I am trying to hold you back or you know make you feel guilty because that isn’t the truth. We both are equally guilty and we both have done mistakes. Mistakes far greater than we have ever done. But we have even done beautiful things together, shared moments and created a box of memories. And today I write to you to remind you there won’t be a ‘me’ again in your life and there won’t be a ‘you’ in mine either but we can always relive what we created, what we enjoyed and what we dreamt. I can never ask you to forget me and neither can you because we have chosen each other as a part of our lives. So always remember me and more importantly, remember me as a girl who trusted you and cared for you. And still does.

I have written so much but I am still trying to recollect anything which I have missed. I won’t get another chance.
I guess that’s all.
So Mr. Malhotra all I want to say is, stay happy.
Take care of yourself. If possible take in mind whatever I have said above because its for your own good. Stay blessed. Stay charming. Stay handsome. And what else…umm… I guess find yourself a nice girlfriend. Because choices matter and I don’t want you to regret your choices because regretting will not get back what you have lost. So….
Choose wisely.