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Chapter 17
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~PAIN~
She clutched the pillow and sobbed silently after sanskar left from the room. She heard his weak whisper, he was hurt.. completely hurt. and that was because of her! She had hurted him. closing her eyes, she cried more feeling guilty, how can she just say those words? But still, it was very much unacceptable for her. Her eyes going red with her tears.. what was she supposed to do now?… she remembered how sanskar caressed her hair just now unaware that she was not asleep. She touched her hair as if feeling his touch. “I am not lieing swara!” his painful words almost shivering her. It was just so difficult for her to pretend to sleep when she heard his voice. She took sanskar’s photo from under the pillow and hugged it close to her heart continuing to sob silently that echoed in her calm room…
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Walking through the corridors all the way to his room lifelessly with his red, teary and puffy eyes, his mind was still concentrating on the words of swara… “you don’t love me!” his legs suddenly failed to move, he blinked his eyes as he remembered her words again and again.. the way she got the bullet for him… she confessing her love to him in the hospital! “what if I love you sanskar?” the guilt suffocated remembering the every time he rejected her! Struggling with the pain, he failed to move and he fell on the floor.. not caring that he was not inside his room.. not caring that he was sitting like a mad man in the darkness filled corridor. He closed his fist very tightly almost tearing his bandage as he cried.. he hugged his knees and continued to sob feeling himself falling in guilt and pain…
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Ragini closed her book, she have taken so many leave for neha’s wedding! There were so many works pending.. correction of papers etc. after all she was a professor! She sighed looking at the clock, it was too late. Feeling her throat very dry, she thinks to get water and gets out of her room. Walking through the corridors, she almost stumbled, widening her eyes horrified and closing her mouth to not shout. She then blinked her eyes with tears and started searching the switch board. She just suddenly saw someone sitting in the middle of the corridor, the moment was too scary. She switched on the light and saw that it was.. “sanskar!” she whispered.. he was sitting and was hugging his knees and he had his face hung down as he stared at the floor hardly with tears continuously flowing. “sanskar?” she said a little loudly to gain his attention but he continued to cry staring at the floor…
Sanskar has already lost all his energy and hope. Only the recent happenings and all his moments with swara running in his mind again and again.. while his heart was just cursing him for all the pain he had given to her. His eyes filled with tears blurring his vision, he payed deaf ears to ragini’s voice. She frowned seeing him not saying anything. She went near him and knelt down and called him more loudly, “SANSKAR!” startled at the loud voice, sanskar finally looked up from the floor and saw ragini looking at him concerned. “what happened sanskar?” he blinked his eyes and looked around, acting like a mad making ragini just scared. She suddenly remembered that sanskar wanted to talk with swara, that’s what he told her in swara’s room. “sanskar? you talked with swara?” he pressed his lips continuing to cry remembering his meet with swara… the way she shoved his hands, her tears, she calling his words as a lie!
Blinking his eyes as a few more tears flowed from his tears, he whispered looking at the floor, “she is not believing me!” ragini looked at him confused, “sanskar?” he suddenly realized how much swara loves ragini! “RAGINI!” she almost stumbled at the way he jerked his gaze from the floor and looked at her. The way he suddenly shouted her name… “ragini! Please tell swara to believe me!” she gets confused at the mad man who was begging her like anything. “she will listen to you! Tell her that I LOVE HER!” ragini blinked her eyes and cried with happiness, sanskar loves swara! This was the thing for which her sister has always dreamed. A smile appeared on her lips as she stood up thanking god for the happiness that her sister is finally going to get. “ragini!” hearing sanskar’s voice, she looked down, he was still on the ground. “she will believe you! Please tell her!” he pleaded to her completely going out of his senses, his face drowned with sweat and tears.
“I really love her! Please make her understand!” he shouted with all his might with his choking voice gulping his tears. ragini gets scared and looked around. What if anyone wakes up hearing his loud mad voice? “she thinks, I am lieing!” she heard his weak whisper and looked at him, his right hand tightly holding his left wrist that was adorned with the thread swara tied him. his red eyes were widened with tears flowing from them. “I am not lieing!” he said more than a whisper continuing to cry. She knelt down near him, “i…” losing his strength, he cried aloud. Ragini gets tears hearing his pleads, but she was more worried that someone might wake up. It was not just their family, many of their relatives and friends were staying here. “I am not lieing!” he continued to whisper crying more and more.
His whole soul becoming numb with pain, his widened eyes looking around madly searching swara to tell her that his love was true! He continued to whisper that he was not lieing when ragini said, “haa sanskar! you are not lieing. I will tell swara!” he looked at her, “you will?” at his innocent question, she gets more tears feeling sad for him. she nodded wiping her tears and said, “sanskar! you now go to your room!” he continued to cry saying nothing while she gets more worried that anyone might wake up. Taking a deep breathe, she stood up and walked to sharmishta’s room…
He was still glued to the ground, he clutched his head remembering her words again and again crying more. At that time, he felt a lovable hold on his shoulder and saw that his shomi aunty was holding him with tears and beside her stood ragini! Sharmishta made him stand, and took him to his room. “aunty! I am not lieing!” he said choked in an innocent voice proving himself… shomi wiped her tears and said, “haa beta! You are not lieing!” she said convincing him and they entered inside his room. She made him sit on the bed, “aunty!” she wiped his tears and said, “calm down sanskar!” she sat near him on the bed and made him lie on her lap, he sobbed on her lap as she caressed his hair teary eyed…
Ragini was looking at sanskar standing outside the room, even shona has always cried on her lap like this for sanskar like he was crying for swara today! She wiped her tears, and walked to swara’s room…
SWARA’S ROOM
Ragini entered inside the room and saw that swara had her eyes closed.. she sighed and closed the door. She went near her and sat on the bed and caressed her hair.. “shona! I know you are awake!” her sister has always pretend to sleep whenever she cried. “shona!” swara opened her tear filled eyes hearing her voice, ragini smiled at her sadly. Swara got up and hugged her sister tightly… “swara! Sanskar…” ragini was interrupted by swara, “didi! Please I don’t want to talk anything!” ragini sighed hearing her sister and hugged her back tightly. “but listen to me shona! You don’t know how much he is crying there!”
swara hugged her more tightly, crying hearing her. “I don’t know what happened between you both, but sanskar was again and again saying that he was not lieing! He was literally pleading!” swara broke the hug hearing her and looked at her. Ragini wiped her shona’s tears and said, “he is very broken!” though ragini wiped her tears, she felt that her tears were uncontrollable.. she pressed her lips almost shivering hearing that sanskar is suffering! Ragini patted her cheeks and stood up from the bed, she was about to go when swara holded her hand. ragini looked at her little sister, her eyes were very red, she has still not recovered fully, and she was crying like anything. She sat on the bed again and swara laid on her lap continuing to cry…
Both swara and sanskar continued to cry the whole night on the lap of their loved ones…
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NEXT DAY MORNING…
Sanskar sighed with tears standing outside swara’s room. He slowly opened the door and saw swara sitting in front of the mirror lost in her thoughts. Today evening is mehandi function and tomorrow is Neha’s wedding! As there is a pooja in the morning, swara was getting ready in a beautiful blue and pink saree with her wet hair… she was sitting in front of the mirror teary eyes lost in the memories of the previous night.. “SWARA!” she almost shivered hearing his choking voice. She raised her head and looked at the mirror and saw his reflection.. his eyes were just too red and he looked very tired and pale with his messed hair… as they kept staring at each other’s tear filled eyes in the mirror. Sanskar suddenly walked closer to her, tears flowed from her eyes as he took the earring from her hand, even she failed to notice that the sharp end of it has left marks on her delicate fingers…
he sat down in front of her, his hands reached her cheeks and wiped her tears.. she was just staring at him, she was sitting on a chair while he was sitting on the floor. Her hands were on her lap just staring him, he kept his head on both her palms on her lap. She closed her eyes feeling her hands getting drenched in his tears… “even when I play pranks on you…” she opened her eyes hearing his choking voice, “you have always believed that I am really angry on you!” he sobbed silently feeling his soul breaking with his guilt for all the pain he has given to her.. “but now why are you not believing me?” she sucked a sharp breathe feeling suffocated hearing his broken voice as tears continuously flowed from her eyes.. he dug his face in her palms as he cried, “I really love you swara!” she cried hearing him..
“why are you giving punishment to yourself?” she gets confused hearing him.. “you don’t have any idea how much you are punishing me! You once said that if at all you ever punish me, it will be a punishment to you!” he took his face from her palms looked straight in her eyes, she clutched the chair tightly pressing her lips and crying more seeing him so much vulnerable.. “remember?” she blinked her eyes hearing his question, of course she remembered it! But no words came out as she continued to cry.. her eyes just staring at his red eyes that was filled with love for her and his never ending tears.. sanskar lost all his hope seeing her keeping mum for all his pleads, he did a last try by pleading to her in his helpless, choking and weak voice, “please believe me!” he cried more as she said nothing feeling guilt engulfing him… she was not accepting him, the punishment for all the pain he had given to her! He stood up and walked out of the room, as she continued to be lost in her thoughts..
“he was literally pleading!”
She remembered her ragini didi’s words and blinked her eyes crying..
“I really love you!”
Sanskar’s face love, pain and guilt filled gaze came in front of her again and again..
She cried more gasping the most beautiful truth of her life.. a slight laugh escaped her lips as she whispered happily..
“SANSKAR LOVES ME!”…
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Precap: ~Magic of Love~
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A/N- hey guys! i wrote this very quick and also didn’t proof read this! the reason for the quick update is that i am going out of station for five days and god knows why my mom is not allowing to take the pc there… i even didn’t reply to all your comments. i am very sorry! no update for next few days that’s why i posted this so soon! hope you all liked this chapter..
Thank you all. Thanks to all the silent readers too.
Love you all…