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Chapter 5
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~A HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON~
AWKARDNESS! AVOIDING EACH OTHER! These were something which never existed between them! Not even when they were dancing with each other closely like a couple! Not even when she literally asked him whether he had any girl friend on the very next day she realized her love for him! But now, it was there! Swara clutched her pillow, she made it more wet by dugging her wet and tear filled face in the pillow. She cursed herself for the day that came before two days in her life. How she wished that day never came, how she wished she never told her feelings to him…she took her face from the pillow a little and caressed sanskar’s photo that was near to her….he was close to her but she was away from him! She loved him and he DID NOT! She closed her eyes gulping as one more tear flowed from her eyes. She cried atleast a million times only in this past two days. She moved her hands to her head and touched it. Her bandage was small now! Her physical pain has decreased, but the wounds and pain in her heart has only increased. She hugged her pillow more tight and cried hard. She felt herself completely fading in the darkness. Two days back, when she finally confessed her love to him, when she finally told him what she had always wanted to tell, he was just blank, he was just shocked, emotionless and cold. She shivered remembering his reaction, he said nothing but his gaze was enough to express him. He walked out of the hospital room after few seconds she confessed, and then never met her eyes, never attended her calls, never replied to her messages, never came to her home, never spoke to her. She cried more, her face turning red as blood as if her soul was bleeding from inside! His ignorance was killing her… she looked at his photo, “what did I do? Why are you punishing me?” yes! She was talking to his photo, how pathetic! His photo was the only company to her for the past 48 hours. She never let any one to console her, never let anyone to know her situation but she was sure that her family knows how miserable she was! “if you are ignoring me because I love you….. if you think this is a mistake then….” She brought his photo close to her heart and hugged it, “then this is the most beautiful mistake of my life” and then she closes her eyes feeling tired but she was sure, she would wake up in the middle of the night as his ignorance would come in the form of nightmare and will definitely haunt her….
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NIGHT 3.30 AM
Swara took the glass of water and drank it, she wiped her sweat and took a deep breathe, she marched back to her room, when she was stopped by a voice, “shona!” she turned and just looked down without meeting the worried gaze of her mother. Sharmishta went near her and made her look at her by holding her chin. “shona! Can we talk?” shomi asked lovingly moving near to her daughter while she was just looking down in the fear of breaking down. Shomi smiled sadly and said, “I have to ask permission to my daughter nowadays to talk to her!” swara instantly looked up at her. It was not that! She was definitely not ignoring her family members! She was just scared to breakdown in front of everyone! But now her mother thought that… swara closed her eyes as guilt engulfed her, “maa! It’s not like that!” she said choking and then opened her eyes. Sharmishta sighed, she holded her hand and took her to the sofa and made her sit. She too sat near her, “shona! Don’t be like this, we all miss you dear!” swara let out a breathe hearing her. Her mother was just making her more weak. Shomi became more worried seeing her not responding and also she was on the verge of crying! “shona! We have to go to Patna for next ten days! It’s neha’s wedding! Ragini got permission from your college for leave!” she said, swara just nodded her head and stood up. She started to go to her room, shomi looked at her going sadly as a lone tear escaped her eyes. Her daughter was very hurt… swara suddenly stopped, her red teary eyes widened as she realized something. She turned to her mother and whispered, “ten days?”sharmishta looked at her confused and nodded, a tear escaped swara’s eyes. Shomi was shocked seeing her, before she could go to her, she was running to her room…
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AFTER HALF AN HOUR
4.00 AM
Sanskar looked at the time and then touched his bed as he remembered swara, his eyes were swollen indicating his sleepless night, she would be here now, she would be waking him up now by doing all the mischievous and irritating things possible! He looked at his left hand, he gets teary eyed seeing the red holy thread. Swara tied it to him! He admits.. he admits that he miss her! She was his bestest friend.. a friend who was his life! She was his life but love.. he closed his eyes as he cried like a small boy. He hated this, he hated being away from her. He felt like just hugging her and tell her how badly he miss her. Even the one year when he was away from her, it hurted him, it was very much difficult but not this much, because they talked on phone at least ten times a day, met each other on the video call twice a week! But now he was not talking with her, because he really doesn’t have any idea what he should talk to her, whenever he saw her phone calls, he feels awkwardness capturing him. even after she confessed her love, can he ever be happy thinking her as friend. Now he knew why she stares him or admires him when they will be talking! Now he knew, why she always closed her eyes whenever he hugged her because she wanted to feel him! now he knew, why she was jealous when he used to talk to other girls who were actually his colleagues! He dug his face in his palms, he was just not able to face her but of course wanted to talk to her. He was vulnerable, he felt he was standing in a confused situation where there were two solutions, ‘either never meet her… or talk to her and sort out the problems’…but both the solutions seemed impossible to him!…
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MORNING 9.00 AM
Swara was sitting on the bed looking at nothing. Ragini was packing swara and her clothes, she gets sad seeing her, she thinks to cheer her up and said, “what is this shona? You can’t even pack your things? See! Double work for me! I have to pack my things as well as yours!” swara looks at her and said, “then don’t pack my things because I don’t want to go!” ragini looked at her shocked, she went and sat near her, “shona! But why?” tears form in swara’s eyes, “because I WILL MISS HIM!” ragini looked at her worried. “already he is ignoring me! But I am at least able to see him! but if I go to Patna, I will…” she stopped as she felt the warm and loving embrace of her sister. She hugs her back tightly and cries. Ragini caressed her hair and said, “but swara! Only for sanskar, you can’t neglect your other dear ones!” swara broke the hug hearing her and looked at her. Ragini sighed and said, “neha is our cousin sister! You can’t just do this! How bad will she feel?” swara looked down, ragini smiled sadly, her sister was very sensitive, she knows what she would be feeling now… guilt! She would be very guilty for thinking to not go to Patna! She holded her cheeks cupping her face. Swara looked at her and said, “but I will miss him so much and the worst part is….” A one more fresh tear flowed from her eyes as she whispered, “the worst part is that I can’t even say him a bye!” “and why can’t you?” ragini asked to which swara almost jerked, “didi! You know what is happening between us!” ragini smiled hearing her, “so what? He is just not talking to you, but you can talk to him! you can tell him whatever you want to say!” swara blinked her eyes hearing her. “how will he react?” she whispered. “sometimes you should not just think about other’s reactions!” ragini kissed her forehead and said, “talk to him shona! It’s now or only after ten days!” she said and walked out of the room before giving her a smile.. swara thought ragini’s words, “it’s now or only after ten days!” that is after 240 hours! It’s hell for her to be without him for just two days but now.. she suddenly jumps off the bed and ran outside all the way to maheshwari mansion!…
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“sanskar!” he stopped arranging his bed as he heard the familiar, soft voice that was calling him with lots of love. He refused to turn and meet her eyes, he was just standing still as the tears which he stopped with great difficulty came from his eyes again. Swara cried seeing him not even facing her, she runs to him and hugs him from back wrapping her hands around his waist tightly by her hands. She dugs her face in his shirt and weeps badly as a barely audible choked whisper escaped her lips, “I love you sanskar!” she takes her face from his back and placed her chin on his shoulder, “I am going to Patna for ten days!” she said and closed her eyes, she was scared what if he would just shove her away!? She held him more tight and closed her eyes more tightly. Sanskar closed his eyes in pain, as he felt her hug and her tears wetting his shirt. She confessed him once again today! Today also he felt the same unknown and an indescribable feeling which he felt in the hospital when she confessed her love to him! his tears flow out of his eyes and falls on swara’s hand that was around his waist. She opens her eyes feeling his tears, “what happened? will you miss me?” she asked in an innocent voice and that was when he realized that before few seconds, she told him about her leaving to Patna! He was about to turn to her while she tightens her grip stopping him from turning to her. “I will not be able to meet your eyes sanskar! just say a bye to me! Please! Your ignorance is killing me!” sanskar closed his eyes feeling the pain in her voice, he felt guilty, he has always gave her pain, by always teasing her and now by ignoring her. Swara on hearing no response from him bit her lips controlling herself from crying aloud. She broke the hug, sanskar shot his eyes open as he no more felt her touch, he immediately turned to her while she had already turned her back to him to go from there, he immediately holded her wrist. She stopped feeling his hold. She shivers and immediately turned and hugged him. sanskar hugged her back, as they both cried in each other’s embrace. She broke the hug and looked in his eyes in which she has always lost herself, she cups his face and wipes his tears. Sanskar too cups her face and wiped her tears. She went more closer to him, they both were very close. How she wish this moment never ends… sanskar suddenly realized their position and turned the other side, his back facing her that made her feel rejected! Sanskar closed his fist as this situation was becoming worse every second!..
“I am going to Patna for ten days!”
“will you miss me?”
“just say a bye to me!”
“Your ignorance is killing me!”
Her pain filled words repeated in his ears, she was leaving him for a whole ten days! He immediately turned only to find her…. Not there! She was gone! His eyes widened and he immediately ran to his balcony. He saw her walking out of his home! She was hurt, he didn’t even said a word to her, what he must be thinking? She don’t know, all she did coming here was telling him her feelings again! Getting an intense hug and his rejection again! These ten days are going to be a hell! She walked out of the maheshwari mansion with many tears and with a hope to see him soon! Sanskar stretched his hand towards her as if trying to stop her. “just say a bye to me!” he closed his eyes in pain as he remembered her words again! He opened her eyes and whispered, “bye swara! Come back soon!” “and why do you want her to come back?” he turned to the source of voice and found his mother. “mom?” he asked confused. “yes! Now tell me why do you want her to come back soon?” sujata asked him sternly, sanskar frowned hearing her, this was not even a valid question! “mom! Swara is my friend and I want her to come back because… urgh! Mom! What question is this?” he asked irritated. “only friend?” sanskar felt a sharp pain hearing his mom. “you feel extreme happiness when she is with you. And when she is not with you….” Her eyes softened as she said, “when she is not with you, you are not your own self sanskar! you feel painful when she is not with you!” sanskar turned his face as he cried, this conversation was making him more weak! “is this only friendship?” she asked. Sanskar found his voice choked, “mom…I…” he stopped and went from there to avoid the conversation that was getting on his nerves! Sujata whispered as her son ran away from his own feelings, “you do love her my son! YOU DO!”….
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Precap: ~Rewinding of the beautiful memories~
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A/N- hey guys! how are you all? hope you liked the chapter!
Thank you all. Thanks to the silent readers toom
Love You All…