Hello ishqies..thanks for your comments and views…you expect shivika and ishkara from my ff which …..i could say I will try….and about characterization ……I have committed mistakes and glad that you pointed out it well…. Please guys…comment on this part…..as I will try to rectify my mistakes…..
Continuation from part 6 { scene-11}
Chaya : What happened to dev ?
Chabra : Chaya……I have to go….else we can’t see him any more….
Tej : What ?
Rihaan : Paapa…what’s the matter ?
Chabra : Dev has decided to commit suicide…..
Shivaay : What ? Now where is he ? And who told you ? Just call dev and ask where is he….
Chabra : Shivaay…..your sister priyanka called me and she said dev is @ omkara’s art hub…..
Shivaay :What om’s art hub ?
Sakthi : Shivaay, call prinku…..
Shivaay : Yeah, paapa…..
Chabra : We don’t have time….the matter is serious…….{emotional} within few minutes he will commit suicide….and priyanka said only one person can stop him from doing that…..
Shivaay : Who ?
Chabra : Loyola college’s librarian
Tej : Librarian ? Shivaay….loyola college where prinku studies….
Sakthi : Bhai saab…we don’t have time…..and we have to act very fast….shivaay….rihaan….both of you go and get the librarian….Bhai saab , Chabra and I am going to our house….and chabra ji please inform to police also….
{every one leaves the spot in rush}
Scene- 12 {@ art hub }
{Dev was literally crying and he himself injured his cheeks and palm with knife….. Priyanka and Om tried to stop him…..But he was not ready to hear their words and he was simply stabbing his body parts with the knife….}
Omkara : Dev…please…..calm down…..
Dev : No om bhaiya…..only 1 minute is left….and if he will not come….i swear….i will…..
Prinku : Dev….please…don’t do this…..
Dev : Am sorry prinku….I have no choice….and you can’t stop me…..
{He is ready to cut his vein…… but before he could place the knife some one called him “dev” and his knife fell down and he turned back….and find Shivaay, Librarian, Rihaan, Sakthi , Tej and Chabra ….He rushed to them and chabra with wet eyes was ready to hug dev…But instead of hugging Chabra dev hugged the librarian and every one are shocked}
Librarian : Dev….beta…..
Omkara : I have seen him some where…
Prinku : Om bhaiya…he is our librarian…..
{Om keenly stared dev and librarian…..}
Chabra : Dev….you scared me…..come beta….
Dev : I am not coming paapa{anger}…..
Chabra : What are you saying Dev ? dev am your paapa…..
Dev : Enough paapa….I really don’t need the tag as a chabra….Am leaving chabra nivas…..
Chabra : But beta…..
Dev : Uncle [librarian] please….i just hate this man…..ask him to leave…..
Rihaan : Bhaiya….what’s wrong with you ?
Dev : Rihaan…..i know what am doing and I just want to say I can’t stay @ chabra nivas…..that’s all…And I have decided to spend the rest of my life with my uncle…
Chabra : Uncle ? Who is this man ? And why you are leaving your house for this so called uncle ?
Dev : Paapa…please mind your language….he is my uncle…. and you don’t understand our relationship as you just pretends to be a goodfather…..but he is not like you….he stood for me and my mom….he gave shelter to mom and me when I was a kid….my mom was struggling @ that days as her parents sent her out from her own home since she loved you …..and paapa….you offered me as the son and society named my mom as……{emotional}
Chabra : Dev…beta…..
Librarian : Chabra ji….dev just accepted the surname chabra as necessity demanded it….and for the purpose which dev stayed @ your home has been over…So am taking my son back……
{They are ready to leave…..But shivaay stopped them}
Shivaay : Dev….i think your family drama is over….Then shall we talk some thing else?
Dev : I didn’t get you…bhaiya……
Shivaay : You said that raanas have planned to trap me….
Dev : Bhaiya….i don’t know any thing …..whatever I know I have said to priyanka….Let me leave…..
Omkara : Dev….you can’t leave without telling truth….I know what your uncle has done to Mr. Oberoi……
{Dev and librarian stares omkara in anger…..Every one are shocked….}
Guys….for this one also I will not put precap as I think my ff is not catchy….isn’t it ?? Guys….sorry for making a worst ff …but I just want to try some thing new….and may be this attempt has not fulfilled your expectations. And again sorry for making it short as still I have not sort out the issues and every day am going to hospital which really has put trouble on me….really I don’t know when I will be completely alright ? So in ffs may be you will find too many mistakes …..Sorry for inconvenience…..But ishqies please comment…
12 Comments
Dear ua ff is amazing..ua ff is on track only.dnt worry
Thanks nithu for the support
Hey renima……i luvd it yaar….its short but sweet……but stll i liked d concept yaar….dnt wry…our ishqies ll sure like it……?☺
Thanks tulasi for commenting….
Superb part da go ahead…..for yesterday s comments…sorry if I hurt ??
Oh no need of sorry ishqie..u just expressed ur view naa…..and am glad that u pointed out it…. thanks for commenting
Good episode… Every attempt in writing help to develop the writing abilities within u. Its not the worst ff. In fact its a good attempt to bring out something new apart frm the usual tracks of ffs…
Keep going renima…waiting for the next episode.
Hey dnt feel bad renima really u are a good writer im really liked ur ff its short and sweet and i must say this part is really a turning point im really curioused for next part plsss post it soon dr and plsss when u will post next part share it on ib page. Thanks for this different ff and keep it up sweety and tc.
As always it’s amazing renima di…don’t think that it’s not good…it’s a new attempt and you done it well…hope you’re fine now…take care of your health di…
its not worst This is something new
All liking your ff don’t worry
Nice one di…n yaa its not worst ffc..dont say like this…everyone is writting on shivika ishkara n rumya it’s something new …go ahead..all r supporting u..tc..
Thanks 2 all….to post next part as soon …i will try my level best guys……as am sticked with some work am not getting time……love u all