Raglak: Sakhi Saiyaan (Chapter: 1)

Bela is back again with the first episode of Sakhi Saiyaan. I kind of experienced a writer’s block initially but once I started typing, it just came out. I have a test on 17th, Monday so expect an update of Cocktail on 19th, Wednesday. Sorry, I know it is late but I need to prepare. So here you all go……………………….

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I stared at my reflection in the mirror. What have I become? I used to be such a nice girl, Dadi Ma’s princess, the prettiest girl, the ideal daughter and granddaughter. When did I change into this…………..monster? I did look like a witch right now, with kajal smudged around my eyes, hair a complete mess, traces of tears on my dirty face and lips swollen due to bleeding from a cut I suffered when I fell from the car. My expensive pink sari was ripped at some places and bloodstained. What a princess! Even Vikram aur Betaal’s Betaal looked better than me. Thinking about it, tears pooled my eyes again. A lone tear escaped and I winced as it came into contact with a wound near my lips and stung me.

“Laado, are you fine?” my Dadi’s clear gentle voice reached my ears. Wiping off the tears from my face quickly, I turned towards her. She came forward and gently wiped my face with a wet cloth, cleaning the scratches and putting Dettol on it. Whenever it stung, she would blow gently. She loves me too much. So much that it is dangerous. Somehow, I believe, my love for Lakshya is similar to my Dadi Ma’s love for me. She just can’t let me go away from her sight. Maybe this is why she always interfered in my married life. She doesn’t want to let me go. Just like how I don’t want to let Lakshya go.

I was reminded of the divorce papers I had signed an hour ago. I need to tell her about them. I was about to start speaking but she beat me to it.

“What that Lakshya did with you is preposterous! What kind of a man is he? He took an oath during the pheras that he would protect you, when did kidnapping and attempting to kill become protecting? I will not spare him. I will not spare this entire family! Khatu Shyaam Ji ki saugandh, I will make this wretched family eat dirt for how they treated my poor baby. Listen laado, you need not worry. I have a plan. In fact, I have already put it into action!” Dadi Ma whispered with a smirk.

Somehow, the expression on her face, combined with my knowledge of what all she was capable of doing, made my heart race with fear. One thing was clear. It didn’t bode well for the Maheshwari family.

“You know how that useless Lakshya got released from jail so easily? I took my complaint back. And in return, I demanded that Durgaprasad Ji transfer all the property in your name. And he did. It was so amusing to see him sob and plead in front of me. Thandak pad gayi maare dil KO!” Dadi Ma cackled in glee.

I gasped in shock. Oh my God! She did that? I couldn’t believe it! Sensing my disbelief, she opened her bag and produced a bunch of papers which looked legal to me. She gave them to me with a smile. I took them with trembling hands and scanned my eyes over them. With each word, my heart sunk. They were indeed property papers signed by Papa Ji, which clearly stated that the Maheshwari property belonged to me now.

“I HATE YOU! Even if you were the last woman on this planet, I would never love you!”

“It seems that it has become your habit to copy me and take away what was mine. First Baba, then Lakshya…………”

“I am ashamed to call you my daughter!”

“I have no idea what Swara did to get a sister like you Ragini. I thought you were my frieand, my duppate waali dost, but you can never be anyone’s well wisher.”

“You are a devil in disguise!”

“I curse you Ragini, you would never remain happy in your marriage with Lakshya!”

I closed my eyes as the words of my loved ones echoed in my head. Words of anger, pain, disappointment, disgust, disdain, abhorrence. Words that prickled my heart every time I thought of them. I deserved them and I am able to finally understand it now as I am repenting. And it was going fine until now. I won’t tolerate this………………cheap trick that Dadi Ma is playing, making me a pawn. I will not repeat my mistakes. In fact, I would try and mend my broken relationship with my sister. My Swara.

With a huge amount of determination, I stood up from the bed and ignoring the questions made by Dadi, I went out in search of Papa Ji. I could hear her footsteps behind me and her frantic voice calling out my name, but I quickened my pace and went up to Papa Ji’s room, where I found him sitting with his head in his hands.

I gently knocked his door. “May I come in?” I asked softly. He looked up and his face hardened. My heart clenched further. He must hate me more now, even though this time, I did not do anything. But I was here to set right a wrong which I was unknowingly and unwillingly a part of. And I won’t back down.

He nodded briskly and looked at me. “What do you want NOW, Ragini? I have given you everything I had. If it is about Lakshya, then let me tell you, I cannot do anything about it, he isn’t in my control…………..” he said fast. I sat down at his feet and he stopped to look at me.

“You gave me everything you had but did I ask for it? My Dadi did, but did I ask for it? I didn’t. I have never wanted your money or name or power Papa Ji. I just wanted Lakshya, your son, and my love. I wanted to be his wife, not your daughter in law. So,” I said with a finality in my tone, “I have no need for this.” I said, indicating the papers. I tore them to pieces and heard a shriek behind me. I turned around, knowing already who it belonged to and sure enough, found Dadi Ma standing there, hands on her head, eyes wide in despair and mouth hung open. She looked rather funny and an unwanted giggle escaped my lips. I saw Papa Ji looking at me in confusion.

“Oh My Khaatu Shyaam Ji! What have you done Laado? Have you lost your mind? Why……….why did you tear those papers?” Dadi Maa asked me as she snatched the pieces from my hand and tried to put them together as if she was a child and they were parts of a jigsaw puzzle. She would never be able to join them, she didn’t know how to read English. I smirked in my mind.

“Because I don’t want property!” I replied simply. I looked at Papa Ji, who was still staring at us in confusion. I felt an unexplainable urge to pat his bald head soothingly but I laughed it off.

Dadi Ma looked at me with rage in her eyes but I was not to be scared now. I am not a child whose every decision needs to be taken by her elders. I would take my own decisions, without anyone’s influence on me. I would do what my heart wants. I would do what my mind says. And I knew what they both wanted.

“Laado, have you gone mad? This property was worth crores. DO YOU HEAR ME? CRORES! And you let it all go for whom? That boy Lakshya?” Dadi Ma spat at me. I took a deep breath.

“See, Dadi Ma, sorry but I am just fed up. I am fed up of being engulfed in hate and giving it. And I am fed up of this drama. I don’t want something which belongs to another, I have already done that once and I really wish I hadn’t. Lakshya was not mine, he was Swara’s, yet I snatched him and see my condition now! This property, wealth, business and empire belongs to Papa Ji and the Maheshwari family and I am NOT going to snatch it away from them. Especially now, that I am no more a part of it.” I said in one go.

Looking at the two elders in front of me, I joined my hands. “I am really sorry Papa Ji, for all that I have done. I know a sorry isn’t enough but I have nothing other than my shame, guilt and desperation to prove that I regret everything. I was not brought up this way and I think that my obsession blinded me to my loved ones’ feelings. I cannot say that the old Ragini is back, she will never be back. She was a pure soul who had no stain on her and who was incapable of negative emotions like hate, anger, jealousy and malice. I will never be able to wash the stains on my character in my entire life now, even if I do repent. Because however hard I try to move on, it will never change the fact that I tried to kill my sister, I defamed her, I accused my former best friend and brother in law of molestation, I tried to malign the character of my sister and my husband and that I acted like I lost my memory just get back in this house. These things will remain written in my past. And I will pay for my sins one day, surely I would. And I would remain bitter about my failed love story. But I now want to ensure that these are the only sins to my name. I will try and remain good and happy throughout my life, and I will never hurt anyone for my selfish motives. I have learnt my lesson.” I said, tears rolling down my cheeks. I recalled all those times when I hurt Swara and yet her belief that I would reform. I recalled my misdeeds. I would be forgiven but these sins would never be forgotten. I had made a big blunder and karma would bite me back.

Papa Ji placed his hand on my head and spoke, “I am glad that you have reformed Ragini. It is true, everything you said. But I think you are wrong when you say that the old Ragini can never be back. Old Ragini doesn’t mean we want you as the shy, naive and innocent girl. It means we want you back with your former kindness, benevolence and positivity. You were a strong and large hearted girl who accepted your father’s lover as your mother and his love child as your sister. You gave them love and respect till this whole fiasco occured. Believe me, whatever happened was necessary for your character growth and personality development. Now, you are more capable of differentiating between what is wrong and what is right. You have grown up truly now, as a human, as a woman and as a mind and soul. Everyone makes mistakes but only those who can recognize their mistakes, own it and repent come out stronger and victorious. You, my dear girl, are a strong lady and your guilt and willingness to repent is a major proof of it. Your new resolve will always give you strength to keep moving forward and never look behind.”

I smiled up at him as I looked at him. He smiled back and patted my head again. He straightened up his shirt and then in his usual authoritative voice, said, “I will go now to meet Annapurna. She may get discharged today.” Opening his watch, he looked at the time and muttered, “It is the right mahurat!”. Then, he walked away. I shook my head. Some things would never change!

I looked behind me and saw Dadi Ma gaping at me. Before I could say anything, she blurted out, “When did you become so sensible?” I narrowed my eyes and replied sweetly, “A few seconds ago.” Dadi smiled a little and hugged me tightly.

“I am happy laado. You have prevented both of us from bringing another disaster upon ourselves and the families. You have truly grown up and I am the proudest.” She said as she kissed my forehead. I smiled at her and bid her goodbye.

I walked up to the terrace and sat looking at the sunset. The sky was like a painter’s canvas, with its red and yellow and blue and orange hues. A light breeze was blowing and I smiled as I felt it on my face. A lot of things about me have changed in these many months. I have learnt and mastered the art of sarcasm and irony. I have learnt to hide my emotions from showing on my face or eyes. I have learnt cynicism. I eat less, I hardly get sleep at night and I barely feel emotions strongly now. It is as if I have become immune to the world and its many traps. The only thing, or rather, the only person who was an exception to these cases was Lakshya. But after what happened, I think I have lost my zeal to fight for him anymore. I will divorce him, leave him and lead my life in one corner of this world, far away, from where even my shadow won’t bother him. A tear escaped my eye again. I will close my heart now. I will be a good wife to Mr. Lakshya Maheshwari till the time we are legally married. But I will go away once it all ceases.

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I sat on the sofa, looking at my mother. I know that she was the only reason my father even bothered to bail me out. She was lying on the bed, breathing deeply in her induced slumber. She is beautiful. Her clear and fair skin was pale right now, but in her better days, she glows like an angel. Her black hair is long and reaches to her waist. As a child, I used to sit in her room, watching her comb her mane in fascination. She hardly kept her hair open all her life and moreover, kept her head covered, which was a real pity. My mother is beautiful and just oozes a sense of motherliness no one else does. Yet, somehow, I feel not so connected to her. I mean, I love her, she loves me, I can do anything for her but still, she is not the most important person in my life. No one is. I think I am weird. Must be Ragini’s effect, that woman is a sure weirdo!

An image of Ragini came to my mind. She was smiling sweetly at me, with my shirt in her hand. I shook my head to clear my head. Why was I thinking of her? She is a snake! She has spread so much poison amongst us that I almost became a murderer. I fought with Sanskaar, insulted Swara, conspired, kidnapped and attempted to kill her. I was never like this. She made me do this. I would never forgive her.

And now, this divorce. Her Dadi would try to stop it, I know. And I won’t let it happen. I need to get people to my side and support me. Even though Ragini wants divorce too, she is too impressionable. She could easily come in her manipulative grandmother’s words.

I stood up to leave. The doctors had advised to let Maa spend the night at the hospital. She would be discharged tomorrow. I would come tomorrow to pick her up.

As I drove back home, I replayed the entire sequence of events. I admit that I was wrong. But even she wasn’t right. Nor was she showing signs of redemption or regrets earlier. I guess my actions gave her a shock. And she needed it. Damn her, I lost my love because of her. I lost my dreams, my chance at happiness and my peace of mind. Serves her right if she is heartbroken!

Yet, the alacrity with which she agreed to sign the papers made me pause. She wasn’t up to something again, was she? I mean, how did she agree so easily to leave me, when initially, she couldn’t even think of it? It was fishy, to be sure. I would have to keep an eye on her.

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I looked at the Moon as I sat on the swing. Sanskaar had asked me to give a try to our marriage. And yet again, I was unable to give him a reply. He had once again just smiled sadly at my lack of response and said that he understood and that I could take any amount of time I wanted and the answer could be a No too. He is too sweet, that sometimes, I feel like a monster who is playing with his emotions. Ragini is responsible for putting me in this mess. Had she not done what she did, I would have been happily married to Lakshya today. Instead, I was in a confusing marriage to his brother while Ragini was in an unhappy one with him. What did she get? Was this her dream? Now, because of her recklessness, six lives were destroyed. Sanskaar, Lakshya, Ragini, Ma, Baba and I, all were suffering.

I saw her passing by in front of me, a jug of water in hand. Whatever happened, she was still my baby sister. I could never hate her. I stood up and followed her. I guess she sensed my presence, for she stopped in her tracks and turned around. Her face was pale, except for some redness in some parts due to the scratches she suffered. It was blank and I could not detect a single emotion.

We looked at each other, eyes locked in a battle of unspoken words. She had been horrible and cruel to me, but even I had been really harsh on her with words. I couldn’t help it then. I was so frustrated with her and her ways that I wasn’t thinking straight. When did Ragini become such a negative influence on others? It seemed that people tended to do wrong whenever she was around. She raised an eyebrow at me and sensing that I would have to say something to stop her, I asked, “Are you fine now?”

She looked at me hard for a few seconds then nodded briskly. Even from where I stood, a few feet away, there was no denying that Ragini was a very beautiful woman. Her features were sharp, her height towered over mine by a few inches, her figure was shapely and womanly while her complexion was clear and smooth, her skin, a beautiful shade of toffee brown and always glowing. Her bow shaped pout was peony pink naturally. Her long thick hair was of mixed shades of brown and black, cascading down her slim waist. Looking at her, no one could even think that she was as ruthless as she had proven herself to be. Her light brown eyes were almost hazel and were still tinted with a warmth, far in contrast to her actions. She is my sister, however mysterious she is. I stepped forward.

“I…….I am sorry for what all I did Swara.” Ragini’s words made me stop and look at her in shock. Did she just utter those words I had been longing to hear? Words of regret, repent, guilt and shame? I looked into those beautiful doe shaped eyes again and found them a bit blank, but nonetheless, a bit warm. I noticed Ragini’s pale face again and realised what a tough time this was for her, even it had been brought upon her by herself. She looked so tired. Reaching out, I placed my palm on her cheek and lightly stroked the milky skin. And just like old times, I pinched and pulled her cheek a little and then stepping back, giggled in mirth as her cheek jiggled with the force. Her face was just like a baby’s, especially her cheeks. She looked at me, eyes huge as saucers, with a shocked expression on her face.

“S……Swar……Swara?” she whispered in shock and my laughter ebbed slowly. She was still uncomfortable, I could see. Uncomfortable, but not unfeeling. Her eyes were suspiciously glassy and I found my own cheek moist with a stray tear. And then, it broke. I engulfed her in a bone crushing hug, sobbing on her shoulder, passing my hand through her luscious brown curly locks. Her left arm came around my waist while her right palm pressed to my back. I broke down, completely and unashamedly, savouring the feel of my beloved sister in my arms once again, just like old times.

“Is everything okay Swara? I know I am the last person on this Earth you should be trusting, but I swear, I am repenting. I will help you out, no matter what. If someone is troubling you, you can always tell me, I will scold them.” Ragini said in her baby like voice. I chuckled through my tears and pulled back. She wiped my tears away and kissed my forehead gently, but hesitatingly. I grinned and gave her a sloppy kiss on her forehead in return to which she made a face as she wiped off my saliva from her face.

“I just washed my face and now you are smearing your thook on it!” Ragini whined. I couldn’t help it. I laughed like a Maniac, till tears of joy and peace rolled down my cheeks. I had my Ragu back. I had my sister back!

We were alone in that floor and so, we sat down on the ground itself, facing each other with our backs pressed to opposite walls. Ragini drew her knees to her chest and smiled at me.

“I am really happy you have forgiven me Swara. You were the one person who ACTUALLY had the right reason to hate me but you didn’t. And today, if you and I are now together like this, it is because I was inspired by your kindness.” Ragini said to me. I smiled softly.

“I could never hate you, just the way you could never hate me. I know that you never hated me Ragu. It was not really difficult to see genuine happiness on your face when I returned alive after your marriage. Nor was it a Herculean task to spot genuine desperation and hurt at my condition sometimes. I have admitted to myself that all of us, including you yourself, had a role to play in what you did. It seems disgusting now, the realisation that I was about to marry a guy I myself had warned you against and someone who I knew you loved dearly. I guess I was foolish to think that I was in love with him. It was a childish infatuation. I would have turned unhappy later on. You saved me from that fate.” I said to her. She smiled coyly.

“How do you know that it was a mere infatuation and not love? Unless……………….you have now experienced love yourself to compare it with!” she said.

My heart stopped beating for a second. She was right. How was I SO sure that I still wasn’t in love with Lakshya? My only reason to deny him a second chance was not just because he was my sister’s husband, it was because I was convinced that we never truly loved each other, let alone trust each other. How did this realisation happen?

“Sanskaar!” Ragini whispered softly, watching my face closely. I looked up at her and she gave me a half smile.

“Sanskaar has made you realise Swara, what true love is. I have made you realise the power of true love. How love affects a person. But I think that majorly, it was him. He really loves you and even your overanalyzing mind cannot deny that!” Ragini said to me.

Imitating her, I pulled my knees to my chest too and hugged them. “Sanskaar asked for a chance for this marriage today. I didn’t give him an answer.” I said to her in a blank voice. Somehow, my heart knew that it would ultimately be HER, who would show me my way. My sister, the woman who truly knew and understood people.

“Why?” she asked me. I shrugged. I had no idea why I couldn’t answer. I heard a sigh.

“Maybe because I didn’t plan my life this way. I never imagined I would be in a marriage based on compromise. I didn’t marry Sanskaar for love and neither was it arranged. It was a contract which was forcefully turned true. I never wanted such a life. This isn’t my dream!” I said in a rush. Yes. This was right. I had a valid reason.

I looked up and saw Ragini laughing at me. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. “Swara, do you REALLY think that what you want in life is always the best thing for you? You may not have seen this dream but can you deny that with Sanskaar’s love for you and your own growing fondness and respect for him, your marriage can actually work?” she asked me. She wasn’t wrong. I did like Sanskaar more than a friend. I had admitted it to him too, adding that it didn’t mean that I would accept him. I cringed at that memory. How could I be so insensitive? Why couldn’t I accept him? What was stopping me?

“I will tell you something Swara. What you dream of is not always what you get and sometimes even the opposite is true, what you get is not what you dreamt of. Look at me, I wanted to get married to Lakshya and I did, but I dreamt of a happy life with him, not what I am living right now. I have learnt now that it doesn’t matter whether you have what you desired for. It matters if you are going to be happy with what you have or not. I have what I wanted and desired but I am not happy. Whereas, you have something you never wanted while I am sure, you are much happier than you had ever hoped you would be, if you leave alone your worries regarding me.” she said.

I realized that every word which came out of her mouth was absolutely correct. I was much happier than before with Sanskaar. In all these months, apart from Ragini, I had been really well content. If I tried more, I could be the happiest person alive. And this was just because I had Sanskaar beside me. He was my companion, my friend, my advisor, my mentor, my savior and my…………..husband. He had selflessly helped me out, expecting nothing but a chance and if I couldn’t even give him that, then it was extremely shameful and stupid.

“I know you know what is right Swara. You just need encouragement to walk down that path. So listen here. You are no me who will play with the life of the man you have feelings for and Sanskaar is definitely not Lakshya, who will not trust his love and will try to harm his wife. You know Sanskaar better than me now, it is you who has spent time with him all these months. If you can recall one reason not to give him a chance, don’t give it to him. Although, if you can give me so many, I don’t think there should be any problem with him.” Ragini said.

I closed my eyes and an image of Sanskaar, smiling at me, came to my mind. I knew, then and there, what I had to do. I stood up, hugged Ragini once again, whispered a thanks and quickly ran back to my room, where I knew he would be.

I didn’t really look back. If I had, I would have seen my sister cry her heart out, for her own lost love.

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I sat in my vanity, applying my lotion, when he came back. He looked very happy. My heart ached a little. He looked as happy as I had once dreamt he would be with me. What an irony, that this amount of happiness was not at the prospect of being with me rather, it was at the prospect of NOT BEING with me. I smirked at the turn of my fate as I stood up.

“What planning are you doing now?” Lakshya asked me. I turned to look at him. He was standing there with his arms crossed in front of him. I raised my eyebrows in confusion.

“Don’t make such innocent faces at me! I know exactly who and what you are! What are you planning now and who are you plotting against? Get one thing straight Ragini. I have called everyone from the two families tomorrow when Maa gets discharged. I would be telling about our divorce then. Pack your bags and just leave tomorrow​ with your family. And don’t you dare look back or try to trouble anyone. Because the next time, Swara won’t be there to save you!” he spat at me. Giving me a last look, he went to the washroom.

I stared in shock at the spot where he had been. What was that? Was this what he felt about me? Was this the extent of his understanding of me? Was this the only credit he could give me? I felt sick and disgusted to the core. Tears, those treacherous tears, came out of my eyes again. The fire in my heart, which I had kept burning solely for him was on the verge of being extinguished and for the first time in these many months since I came to know him, I didn’t do anything about it. I had tried putting out that fire when I learnt about Swara and him but I was unable to do anything. Today, of its own accord, my heart was trying to bleed out his name, and I didn’t want to stop it. If he didn’t love me, it would still have been tolerable. He HATED me. And that was not fine. I had truly lost my love. And the final realisation of this was now making my tears fall endlessly, even though I had come to believe that I was incapable of experiencing such strong emotions.

I decided that enough was enough. Wiping my tears again, I opened my cupboard. From it, I took out a familiar, well worn wooden box whose contents had been my only true companion in this house. What I was about to do would end up hurting me but it was now necessary. My pent up frustrations were becoming poisonous and were slowly killing me. But I wanted to live and live I shall.

Taking the box with me, I went down to the garden, where generally, a bonfire was lit every night to ward off mosquitoes and give warmth to the guards. I went there, arranged the logs and the wood, added camphor and then lit a matchstick to light them up. As I saw the tiny amber sparks slowly gain momentum and spread, I took the box in my hand and opened it. It’s contents made my eyes water.

I first took out a worn yellow parchment paper. It was a letter I had written for Lakshya, a love letter which I had written a day before our second engagement​. I had intended to give it to him after the engagement but I never got the opportunity. Reading it once again, a laugh, devoid of humor, escaped my lips. I was so naive back then. So foolish to think that I could be easily loved. That my life would become amazing. My gaze went to the smudged corners of the letter, an indication of the many tears I had wasted on these words since. There would be no more proofs of my heartbreak now. I held the paper and let it catch fire. As the black words of the paper turned to ashes, my heart felt lighter.

Next, came another piece of paper and I gave an amused smile when I saw a sketch of Lakshya’s face. I had drawn it by my own memory of his face, with no help. I had since, spent many nights, sketching similar portraits, all of which I would quickly throw in the waste paper basket to avoid getting caught. This one, however, was my first and so, very important and symbolic. Not anymore. I crumpled up the handsome pencilled face and threw the paper into the fire, taking great pleasure as the red flames engulfed it, never to let it go again.

My hand picked up a doll next, one, dressed up like how Lakshya was on our first engagement. My eyes narrowed as I looked at it and I recalled the time when Swara used dolls to give me strength. I snorted in disgust as I realised how extremely idiotic I was and grabbing the male doll which I had once adorned with love, I threw it into the fire. A bunch of sparks rose up high as a crackling sound reached my ears. I knew there was another doll, dressed up like me, and I didn’t waste a second before shoving it at the fire too.

Lastly, I held the picture I had of him. This was what I had been given when Dada Ji told me that I was getting married. To me, today, this single picture was symbolic of my ruin and downfall. It was a reminder of my crushed hopes, shattered dreams, endless pain and eternal loneliness. How starry eyed I had been, dreaming of a Prince Charming who would whisk me off my feet and take me to a palace where we would live a life full of love and joy. Lakshya and Ragini Maheshwari. My red eyes, devoid of any emotion, stared at the 5X7″ photo of a smiling Lucky. How happy he looked. How carefree, laid back, arrogant. He blames me for ruining his life but hasn’t his entry ruined mine too? Isn’t he responsible for destroying my dreams and love? And sitting there, under a sky full of twinkling stars, with gentle night breeze around me and a fire in front, I , for the first time, experienced an unflinching disdain for my soon to be ex husband. I could have even said that it was hate, except, that I know it is practically impossible for me to hate him. But yes, I certainly held him responsible for ruining my life as much as he held me responsible for ruining his. I let the picture catch fire while I held its other corner, watching each part of his smiling face turn into ashes. Slowly, I let it go and then, I started crying. And this time, I didn’t stop or control myself. I cried with as much noise I could, draining all my pain and regret with the tears. I hugged my knees close to my chest and burying my face into my legs, I bawled my lungs out. I cried, knowing I had no one who would get my pain and what I had just done, to my memories and so, to myself. I had just set to fire my illusion of perfect love and happiness.

Unbeknownst to me, a pair of dark eyes had watched my actions with a lot of curiosity from a balcony, right above my head, wondering why I had done what I had just done. And he would never know, at least not for the next many months and would understand the significance much later, when he would be in a similar stage in life, ready to break his illusions.

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Can you guess who those dark eyes belonged to? Sorry for the relatively short chapter, as I said, my exam is approaching. Hope you guys understand.

Please tell me how you like Chapter one. Cocktail coming up next.