Before Ragini could fall on her back, Sanskar had his arms wrapped around her and pulled her close. To others it looked like a perfect movie sequence;
Ragini in Sanskar’s arms and the flower petals falling over them, like rain drops!
And just like that, there were just two of them. It felt like a dream, a hidden desire. Ragini and Sanskar together. They were staring at each other, without blinking eyes, constantly, continuously. Sanskar gripped Ragini’s waist a little bit tighter, and Ragini’s hands, on their own clutched the lapels of Sanskar’s jacket. If this was a dream, they just didn’t wanted to wake up and if this was an illusion, they didn’t wanted to come out of it and if it was reality, they just didn’t wanted to let go of each other.
Traitor tears formed and flowed out of Ragini’s eyes. She had seen him 2 days before but didn’t got a chance to hold him, to touch him even, and today at this moment she was being held by him as if he was scared to lose her. On the other hand, Sanskar leaned close to Ragini, inhaled deeply and then sighed, taking it her unique scent, that he had missed. He was sure now, that Ragini was there at the shop when he had felt her. He just knew it.
Two hearts, one shattered and the other broken. Two souls, one damaged and the other lifeless. It wasn’t just Sanskar and Ragini’s moment, it was the moment of the two loving hearts, two souls that loved each other but got separated due to misunderstandings.
“Sanskar…” “Ragini..” They said in unison, their voice rough because of the pent up emotions.
“Ahem..”, they jerked a little hearing someone clearing his throat. “Are you both alright?”, Sanskar and Ragini looked at the person who had interrupted their moment. While Ragini had removed her hands from Sanskar’s chest and dropped them on Lakshes, Sanskar still was holding Ragini close to him, never wanting to let go of her.
Amol, looked at Ragini and then at Sanskar. Seeing Ragini’s confused, hurt, happy, sad, in short weird kind of expression, was sure that the man who had his arms around Ragini was definitely Sanskar. Anger boiled up inLakshe him, as the man who stood in front of him was the same man who had hurt his best friend, the sister, he never had. Had hurt Ragini. Clenching his fists, he was ready to punch Sanskar’s face. As if Ragini sensed Amol’s anger, she roughly removed Sanskar’s arms from her waist and stood before Amol.
“Amol, please!”, Ragini knew, what was going inLakshe Amol’s brain. The tight clenching of fists was a dead giveaway.
“He’s Sanskar right”, and Ragini knew that wasn’t a question, it was a statement. She nodded and Amol shifted a step close in anger.
Sanskar was a silent spectator to what was happening between Ragini and this guy, whom Ragini addressed as Amol, who had interrupted their moment. He saw as Ragini closed the distance between her and Amol and wrapped her arms around him. Ragini hugged Amol tightly, and Sanskar felt his heart skip multiple beats and clench in pain.
Ragini was hugging this Amol guy, as if her life depended on him. Jealousy took better of Sanskar and he had this sudden urge to pull Ragini back to himself and punch this Amol dude, black and blue. But before he could do something, Ragini was already pulling Amol with, holding his hand.
Minutes passed but Sanskar just stood there, taking in everything that just happened. He found Ragini, his Ragini, his love, his life. He had her in his arms after so long, and it had felt as if he had been pulled out harshly and roughly out of the hole his life had become and now felt revived. But just in a matter of few minutes she went away from him again, yet once again. And that Amol dude! He had taken her for granted, had her let go, had her leave him alone. That time, things were different. Time s changed, things have changed and so have Sanskar.
He wasn’t letting her go this time, he couldn’t let her go. Hell, that wasn’t even a choice. He knows that what he did wasn’t a mistake, it was crime, the crime to break someone’s heart, world’s biggest crime. And he’s ready to everything that could get him her forgiveness. He wanted her back, with him, by his Lakshe. He’ll kill for her, hell he won’t just kill for her, he can die for her. But letting her go, just was not an option. Selfish..? He knew he was being selfish, yes, but he’s selfish for her.
“Sanskar?”
Sanskar craned his head to the left and saw Swara looking at him with confused expressions and curious eyes.
“I told you. She’s here.”, Sanskar replied, calmly, very calmly.
“Sanskar tum…”, Swara tried to hold Sanskar’s hand but he backed a step away, knowing that Swara still isn’t believing him.
“I just saw her, she was here! She is here Swara, she indeed is.”, he sighed, pushing a hand through his hair.
“Are you sure?”
“Come I’ll show you. Come!”, and he dragged Swara inLakshe, holding her lower arm. Walking inLakshe, he scanned the whole auditorium and his eyes finally settled on Ragini who was talking to Amol.
“There”, he said to Swara, pointing at Ragini. Swara looked in the direction at which Sanskar was pointing. And when she spotted Ragini, her breath got hitched. There stood her little sister, whom she had scolded, insulted and hurt so bad that she could easily win the prize for being the worst sister ever. She took little steps towards Ragini, who unknown to Swara’s presence was talking to Amol, an angry Amol. Sanskar followed Swara, but before they could reach close enough to talk to Ragini, a sudden announcement was made.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, I am Nandita Mehra, your host for today’s events. I would like to thank Mr. Abhiram Verma,the Managing Director of Apollo Hospitals, Mrs. Shikha Vohra, chief-in-charge of Sanjeevni Dehradun and Mr. Amol Sharma and Mrs. Ragini Maheswari, for organising everything. I request everybody to take their assigned seats, so we can start the program.”
So, Sanskar and Swara had to move back to their seats, which were 2 rows far from where Ragini was sitting.
“She still loves me, bust her hatred for me is shadowing her love for me.”, thought Sanskar.
The programme started but there were 4 people who were just physically present there. Their minds were elsewhere and they themselves were experiencing an emotional turmoil. Ragini had one hand clutched to her chest, her heart was beating so fast that she was surprised she didn’t suffered a heart stroke. Seeing Sanskar was a different thing, but touching him again, had triggered the emotions that she had stored in a place deep inLakshe her heart, locked its doors and had thrown the key somewhere, but now..Sanskar brought those pent up emotions out of her and it was becoming difficult for her to handle all this. His touch, that had something different in it, yet familiar. It was the same way he had touched her that night, but he was thinking of Swara and was unconscious, righ? But why his touch had the same intensity, the same possessiveness, the same love, even now, when he was conscious and knew who she was. She just couldn’t ignore the glimmer of hope that was rising in her darkened heart like the sun rises even after the darkest night. But this time, she couldn’t let the little hope, consume her, because this time, it isn’t her who will get hurt…Asmaani is under the radar too.
Amol had his fists clenched so hard, that his knuckles had turns white. Being an orphan, he had hardly known what family is, what the love and possessiveness for family is. After Esha and Ragini came into his life, he got a family, he had longed for. While Esha gave him the love of a wife, a lover, a best friend, Ragini was like his little sister, another best friend, and being the over protective elder brother he is, it was hard to control himself when the person who had hurt Ragini the most was present in the same room. Sanskar had broken Ragini into pieces, he had himself seen her crying for Sanskar. It was Asmaani, who gave Ragini the hope to live once again. He wasn’t there when Sanskar hurt Ragini but he’s here now, and he won’t let Sanskar hurt Ragini or Asmaani.
Swara was feeling surreal. She had finally found her little sister, she’s there in the same room as hers but still it feels as if the distance hadn’t lessened. When Ragini had joined Sanjeevni, she was this lively and cheerful persona that she had once been. It was Ragini’s closeness with Sanskar, that made her feel jealous and she had always vented out her jealousy in form of anger towards Ragini. The fact was that even after she had chosen to be with Laksh, she hadn’t let Sanskar go. She still had herself tied to Sanskar somehow, and had acted stupidly. Her anger, her obsession for Sanskar had cost her, her sister. It wasn’t only Sanskar who had hurt Ragini, she was equally responsible too. Not only her, but Sanskar and somehow Laksh too. They all had used Ragini somehow for their benefits. Sanskar had used Ragini to make her jealous, Laksh wanted Sanskar out of his and hers (Swara) life, so he tried to hook up Sanskar and Ragini and she (Swara), she used Ragini to vent out her anger, her hurt. They had broken Ragini to pieces; she could only hope that they all could fix her too.
For the first time, in the past few years, Sanskar was feeling light. He had finally found Ragini, it was surreal to touch her once again. And to feel her touching him. It was incredibly fantastic. He knew that he had hurt Ragini a lot. Hurt was such a mild word, he had broken Ragini to pieces, shattered her apart, just like a mirror. He could see himself in every piece of hers. Nothing had changed but still everything wasn’t the same. He knew that Ragini loved him, still loves him, but that love is now tainted, tainted with the betrayal he had given her, tainted by the hurt, but still the love shined bright. Her anger was justified, and he’ll do his best to melt that. He can’t afford being apart from Ragini, his Ragini. His just couldn’t let her go. When she had left, it had pained, hurt like anything. He himself felt shattered to millions of pieces and searched for Ragini’s reflection in them. Only the thought that he will get her back had him living, but if he lost her now, if he let her go now, he won’t be able to live, he won’t be able to breathe even. Ragini is the essence in his life. The air he breathes in, the thought that never goes out from his mind, the hunger that could never be satisfied, the love that he has in his heart. Talk about one person being the other’s everything, that’s what Ragini is for Sanskar. If there is Ragini, then only there is Sanskar, but if Ragini isn’t there then there is no Sanskar.
Four of them were in there own world, and didn’t noticed what was happening around them. It was only when Amol’s name was called out, surprising all of them;
“And now ladies and gentleman, the award for the “Doctor of the Year” goes to Mr. Amol Sharma!”
In-spite of the emotional battles they were fighting inLakshe, Ragini and Amol hugged each other, and Ragini kissed his cheek congratulating him for the award. While Amol was walking towards the stage, the hostess continued to tell about Amol’s achievements, his services as a doctor and all praises about him. The whole seminar was a matter of few hours only. As it ended, Ragini walked out as soon as possible, as fast as she could.
On the other hand, Sanskar and Swara were looking all around for Ragini but they couldn’t find her. Sanskar couldn’t help but feel his hope of having Ragini back dying. It was Swara who squeezed his hand in encouragement. They spotted Amol, who was talking with one of the BOD of Sanjeevni.
“Excuse me.”, Swara said politely. Amol and the BOD stopped talking, Sanskar and Swara said their greetings to the BOD.
“If you don’t mind sir, we want to talk to Mr. Amol, alone. It’s personal.”, Sanskar added.
“Oh yes, of-course, go ahead.”, the BOD nodded and went away.
Amol huffed in anger but stood still. In front of him, were the two person whom Ragini hold an important part of Ragini’s life but had hurt her in ways, that are highly unforgiveable.
“What the hell do you two wanna talk about?”, Amol whispered harshly.
Sanskar looked around himself, people were still there talking to each other, he knew he had angered this Amol guy somehow, but he definitely did not want to create a scene her in front of others, so he politely whispered back, “Amol, can we talk somewhere else. I do not want to create a scene here, and I know you don’t want that too.”
Taking a deep breath, Amol replied, “Fine, let’s talk in my cabin.”
Sanskar and Swara followed Amol to his cabin, once inLakshe, Amol locked the door, not wanting anything or anyone to disturb them.
“Bolo, kya kehna hai tum dono ko? Are you happy now, or still looking for ways to hurt her?”, Amol asked, his back towards Sanskar and Swara. They knew, about whom Amol was talking. Ragini.
“I am here to say sorry, we are sorry. And believe me, we aren’t happy without her. Life isn’t life without her. Zindagi hai woh meri Amol. I know I have hurt her beyond repair, but I love her damnit!”
“Hear yourself Sanskar. Tum keh kya rahe ho? blo*dy hypocrite! Ek taraf kehto ho ki usse pyaar karte ho aurr doosri tarah usse dukh bhi tumhi ne diya hai!”
“Listen Amol, you know nothing about me and her..” Interrupting Sanskar, Amol said, “You listen! I know Ragini much better than you. We are together since childhood, meri choti behan jaise hai woh. I was there with her, when she cried for you, I was there watching her breaking down, I was there when she gave…! You weren’t there Sanskar, you were enjoying your life with this home wrecking girlfriend of yours!” Amol successfully covered up the fact that he was just about to spill Asmaani’s secret in front of Sanskar.
“How dare you?”, Sanskar clutched the collar of Amol’s shirt, while Swara tried to calm him and struggled to stop both the men from being violent, “Swara is just my friend. It wasn’t her fault damn it! She wanted me to move on with Ragini, it was me who messed up. She did not!”
Finally Sanskar left Amol’s collar but pushed him away. Both of them were panting, Swara was crying lightly, while Amol started talking again, “Oh really! Aren’t you two married now? Didn’t you love her?”
“Amol, I told you, it isn’t Swara’s fault, it’s mine, all mine. And misunderstanding on Ragini’s part. I was unaware as to why she left but I got to know about my mistake when she answered my call for the first and the last time, she changed her cell number after that! I couldn’t trace her!”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Sanskar sighed and told Amol, his side of story. Amol could now see that it wasn’t Ragini alone who was hurting, Sanskar was hurting too. And the guilt he had was acting like the fuel.
Amol sighed and leaned back in the chair, “Sanskar, I get it that you are hurting too, and it was all a misunderstanding but don’t you think it could have been avoided? I now understand that what exactly had happened but don’t you think that it was your fault that you married Ragini for making Swara jealous! I mean, what the hell!”
“I know Amol, and I know that I did major mistakes, but do I not deserve a second chance? I want to make things right for her, for us.”
“I understand, but you too have to understand Sanskar, that you had hurt Ragini way too much. I am not in the position to forgive you, it’s Ragini’s right to do or not to do so. I can only wish you best of luck. I know that she loves you, she still does and now I realize that you love her too. It will make her happy that you reciprocate her feelings and believe me, I want Ragini to be happy and if her happiness is with you, then you have my support!.”
“Thanks Amol, it means a lot to me!”
“It’s OK!.” Amol then looked at Swara who wasn’t crying now, “And I am sorry Swara, I shouldn’t have said that to you!.”
“It’s OK Amol, I think i deserve that much. I am glad that Ragini had you when she had no one else!”
After 2 hours
Ragini sighed as she looked at Asmaani’s brown eyes. After she left the hospital premises, she went back home and had a little chat with Esha. They decided to organize a party for Amol, and as Esha was at bed rest, that’s why Ragini and Asmaani went to mall to purchase necessary items. She had then switched off her cell phone, because she did not wanted to face an overly concerned and overly protective Amol and this moment. With Sanskar, her pent up emotions have came back and at this moment, she wanted to take her mind off him and ignoring everyone seemed to be the best idea.
As she pushed the trolley to the kids section, she sighed looking at Asmaani. She looked so much like her father. Blue eyes, dimple cheeks, messy but thick black hair. In appearance, Asmaani looked nothing like Ragini. She was all Sanskar, in looks, and an upcoming heart-breaker of-course. As if, Asmaani knew what was in Ragini’s mind, she started tapping the Lakshes of the trolley basket, she was sitting and started blabbing.
“Bo-ah-uh-bo..”, Asmaani continued to tap and blab and made such funny faces that Ragini couldn’t resist grinning.
“Aaaww..mera pyaara bachha! Maa loves you a lot baby!”, Ragini kissed her cheeks, and it encouraged Asmaani more. She now, tried to do something new. So she tried to whistle, but that sweet little thing, couldn’t actually whistle. After trying for 2 more times, she then huffed and crossed her arms around her chest. Seeing her daughter acting like a drama queen, just like her father, Ragini burst into fits of laughter. She remembered how Sanskar used to try to whistle but then never got succeeded and he would always huff like Asmaani just did. Like father, like daughter.
Asmaani narrowed her eyes at Ragini, who was laughing. After about 3 minutes of the laughter fits, Ragini pulled Asmaani into her arms and whispered, “You know how to make Maa happy, don’t you? My sweet little girl!”, she kissed Asmaani’s cheeks and place her back in the trolley.
“Hey! Dr. Maheswari, right?”, Ragini looked at her left and found a heavily pregnant lady. One of her patients.
“Yes. And you are Mrs. Ahuja.”, she smiled at the lady. And thus they began talking about things and Asmaani felt ignored. Being the mischievous little kid she is, she somehow managed to get out of the trolley basket, that including falling on her butt, but fortunately she fell on the cushion that had somehow fallen down. Lucky girl! And she started crawling, away from the chatting ladies, carefully and stealthily, just like the baby in the movie, “Baby’s Day Out”.
Asmaani crawled from here to there and everywhere. It looked as if, it literally was a Baby’s day out. Asmaani looked around her, searching for a familiar figure, specially her Mumma, Ragini. She kept on crawling and searching, but she couldn’t find Ragini, poor little baby. When she realized that Ragini was nowhere around, she panicked and started crying.
Call it luck, or call it fate or call it just a simple coincidence that Sanskar was in the same mall. After a long discussion with Amol, he dropped Swara back at the hotel and then came at the mall, to buy something for Ragini, as a gift, that would help him expressing his love for her. He was searching for the perfect gift when he heard a heart wrenching cry.
He didn’t know why but he felt being ripped into pieces. He went numb for a moment, and the next he felt a tug on his pants. Sanskar looked down, and saw a cute baby girl crying. His heart melted at the cuteness that the baby had, but burned when he saw tears flowing down her cheeks. He didn’t knew what made him bend down, and then pick the baby in his arms.
Looking at the baby, he felt as if he was watching his childhood self in a mirror and in opposite gender of-course. And somehow, holding the baby made him feel content, that he hadn’t felt for so long. The baby had stopped crying and was looking at Sanskar with her blue colored eyes, her mouth forming an “O”.
Sanskar smiled at the baby and wiped her tears gently, “Oh my baby!”, he cooed. A metallic thing caught Sanskar’s eye, the baby girl was wearing a chain necklace that had a pendant that read, “Asmaani”.
“Oh, so your name is Asmaani! Beautiful name for the most beautiful girl!”, Sanskar blew raspberries on her neck, earning giggles from Asmaani.
“You like that?”, Sanskar asked, again blowing raspberries on her neck and now on her belly too, earning himself another round of giggles. Sanskar twirled her around and then hugged her tight to himself, not bothering to look for her parents. He himself didn’t realized what he was doing.
Asmaani stared at Sanskar at then erupted into a baby laugh, Sanskar found this amusing. Asmaani then, wrapped her arms around Sanskar’s neck and sighed. Snuggling her face into Sanskar’s neck, she made herself comfortable in Sanskar’s arms and whispered, “Paa”.
Sanskar felt his world revolving at a fast pace and he went numb, “Paa”, didn’t know what that word did to him. It felt so real coming from Asmaani. Sanskar’s eyes grew misty and he clutched Asmaani tightly, but careful not hurting her. This is what “Contentment” is called.
“ASMAANI!”, Sanskar heard a painful shriek, he turned around, only to get shocked again.
Ragini was running towards them, her hair out of place, her eyes red and puffy, result of crying, tears flowed down her rosy cheeks. In his arms, Asmaani squealed and again hid her face in Sanskar’s neck, not wanting to face a scary Ragini.
Ragini had panicked when she didn’t saw Asmaani, she was searching for her all along, and crying hard. But as she saw Asmaani in arms of some stranger, she couldn’t help but shriek, out of delight and terror too. But as the stranger turned, Ragini’s breath got hitched, she just wanted her baby girl Asmaani out of Sanskar’s arms. So she ran. She ran towards them, pushing people out of her way and when she reached close to Sanskar, she swiftly pulled Asmaani out of Sanskar’s arm, who stood there, teary eyed, and numerous questions in his mind.
She kissed Asmaani’s face repeatedly, ignoring the girl’s protests. “Do not scare your Maa like this, ever!” , and hugged Asmaani tightly, ignoring Sanskar’s questioning eyes.
Asmaani wiggled out of Ragini’s arms, her arms reaching up for Sanskar, gesturing him to hold her again. Asmaani pouted and reached out for Sanskar, “Paa..”
Sanskar held Asmaani again, but this time, he knew what Asmaani meant to him. He didn’t need any proof about Asmaani being his daughter, his own blood and flesh. Now it all makes sense. Ragini had always said that they will name their baby girl Asmaani and the boy Shaantanu. Asmaani. He kissed Asmaani’s cheeks the eye lids and hugged her tightly to himself. Same brown eyes, that dimpled smile. Why hadn’t he realised it earlier?
Asmaani giggled at the kisses she got from her father. Ragini helplessly looked at the father – daughter duo. They looked perfect together, and from Sanskar’s expressions, she knew that Sanskar knew, that Asmaani is his daughter, his own.
Tired of continuously giggling, Asmaani got relaxed and once again snuggled close to Sanskar. She just didn’t wanted to be separated from Sanskar. She got her Paa after such long time and now she wasn’t ready to let go of him.
On the other hand, Ragini just couldn’t let all this happen, she can’t let Sanskar take Asmaani from her, so she once again tried to pull Asmaani back. “Baby, come lets go home. Come Asmaani, come to your Maa.”
Asmaani raised her head and looked at Ragini but then again laid her head back on Sanskar’s shoulder.
“We need to talk.”, declared Sanskar.
Ragini tried to take Asmaani again, “There’s nothing left to talk about.”
Sanskar moved back, holding Asmaani tight, “There is very much to talk about Ragini. Especially my daughter. Our daughter.”
Ragini got angry, the nerve of this man, “Who said that she is your daughter? She’s mine, just mine!”
Sanskar held Ragini’s hand, and dragged her with him, not caring about anything else, “Choddo mujhe Sanskar!”, she tried to free her hand from Sanskar’s hold, but her attempts went in vain.
Once outLakshe, Sanskar called for a taxi and asked him to drive them too Lovers cliff (Lame, I know! And this is not a real palce!).
“Sanskar! What are you doing?”, he was still holding Ragini’s hand, and he had Asmaani in his lap, who was enjoying her Maa and Paa.
“What do you think I am doing? I am taking my wife and daughter at a calm place to talk about some IMPORTANT matters!”, Sanskar replied, his tone calm yet utterly dangerous. He didn’t appeared to be the broken, shattered and sad man anymore. He looked determined. Determined to get his wife and daughter back in his life.
It was a 15 minutes drive. All the time, Sanskar had a death grip on Ragini’s wrist. While Ragini struggled to get out of Sanskar’s hold, Sanskar and Asmaani ignorant to Ragini’s attempts were talking in their own language.
“My baby missed Paa?”, Asmaani oh’ed at Sanskar’s question and nodded.
“Aawww..Ouch!”, Sanskar yelped as Ragini bit his hand, and Asmaani laughed.
“Look baby, your Maa is getting wild!”, and Asmaani laughed again, at the weird faces Sanskar was making.
“Dono baap beti, ek jaise hi hain. Like father, like daughter.”, Ragini muttered.
Sanskar paid the taxi-driver as they reached their destination. After the taxi left, Sanskar started asking Ragini multiple questions.
“Why Ragini? Why did you hid Asmaani from me? I am her father damn it, haq hai mera. It’s my damn blo*dy right to know about my daughter!”
Ragini flinched, but Sanskar wasn’t stopping, “I know ki tum mujhse naaraz ho, nafrat karti ho mujhse par kya mujhe apni hi beti ke baare mein jaanane ka koi haq nahi? You are her mother but you have no right to hide her from her father!”
“Tum yeh sab haq kho chuke ho Sanskar!”, Ragini yelled, “You betrayed me Sanskar, you broke my trust, murdered my love, and just by donating your sperm, doesn’t mean that Asmaani is your daughter! You are not worth it! Aurr haan, batana chahti thhi tumhe, Asmaan ke baare mein, but, the last time we talked, and you asked about why I left. It all came back to me Sanskar, tumhaara jhot, woh jhoti shaadi, woh sab..mujhse bardaasht nahi hua Sanskar, ab bhi nahi hota! Aurr waise bhi, you are happy now, happy with Swara. You love her, married her and that’s the end! There’s wasn’t any Sanskar-Ragini in the picture Sanskar, it was always about you and Swara.”
Asmaani, who all the time was in Sanskar’s arms, glanced at her parents, who were fighting a minute ago were now, silent.
“I didn’t married Swara!”, Sanskar said softly. Ragini stared into Sanskar’s eyes, as he said, “I didn’t marry her because I don’t love her. It was about me and Swara, long ago, it was. But she got married to Laksh. And then you came, and changed everything. It is about us Ragini. It is about Sanskar and Ragini. I had loved Swara but I love you, more than anything, more than anyone. I love you, only you and our daughter. It indeed is about Sanskar and Ragini. I love you.”
…To be continued…