RagSan SS : Yours * Part 4 – Decision*

I had decided to update “Rishtey” or “This Time Forever” first but then I thought why not complete “Yours” first. As it has only 2 more parts left (after this one). So here I am with the part 4 of RagSan SS “Yours” And yes, the last update of this story, “At The Mall” was actually 3rd part of this story but in the title it appeared the 2nd one.

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“I didn’t marry Swara!”, Sanskar said softly. Ragini stared into Sanskar’s eyes, as he said, “I didn’t marry her because she isn’t the one I love. It was about me and Swara, long ago, it was. But she got married to Laksh. And then you came, and changed everything. It is about us Ragini. It is about Sanskar and Ragini. I had loved Swara but I love you, more than anything, more than anyone. I love you, only you and our daughter. It indeed is about Sanskar and Ragini. I love you.”

For few minutes Ragini remained quiet. Neither Sanskar uttered any other word nor did Asmaani. Only the rustle of leaves, the low sound of horns of vehicles, chirping of the birds was heard. Ragini with tears in her eyes stared at the man in front of her. The man whom she had loved with all she had, the man she had given everything she had, the man who broke her heart, shattered it to pieces that even she couldn’t see her reflection in those pieces, as it was only him, only him who occupied each and every bit of her, whose face she saw in the broken pieces of her heart.

She didn’t know how to react to his words. Somehow his words, his confession didn’t soothe the aching wounds that he gave her years ago, no it did not. On the contrary, his words acted like salt of her wounds, she felt disgusted. What has her life turned into? A sick joke? A disgusting game played by Sanskar Maheshwari, the captor of her heart even if it was broken? Shame.

Sanskar’s calm and composed self was a facade, he was nervous as hell from inside. His heart screaming to pull her then and there, in his arms, hold her tight and never let her go. His brain screamed at him to vocalize all the things that had happened with him since she left, to tell her every minute detail about all the moments that he wasn’t able to live with her. He wanted her love, the unconditional emotion that she had served in front of him back then and he had unintentionally threw it away like a piece of trash. He wanted her forgiveness, he wanted his family, but more than that, he wanted her to be his. Just like she was before. It sounded so selfish but appealing at the same time.

Breaking the chain of his thoughts, Ragini’s sardonic laughter boomed. Tears were flowing out of those pretty eyes as she laughed scornfully at the situation.

“You sure as f**k think that I am some toy of yours!”, she sneered.

“Gini..”

Ragini raised her hand, gesturing him to stop saying anything. Asmaani hid her face in her father’s shoulder, not wanting to witness her parents fight. Though she didn’t understand what was happening but she didn’t like the loud and angry way her parents were talking with each other.

“Sanskar Maheshwari what do you think you are? My God? You think you can come and manipulate my life according to your whims and desires? My life doesn’t feel like mine now! It feels like a sick game played by you. First you use me to make that arrogant sister of mine jealous, then you make fall in love with you, just to show that if she can move on, so can you. Then you marry me! Again to make someone else jealous, and then you confess it all to me in a drunken state, just after you had s*x with me, think that it was Swara!”

Sanskar hugged his daughter tight. He wasn’t angry at what she said, he was angry at what she felt. That night they didn’t had s*x, it was making love. Only if he hadn’t been drunk, he would have confessed the whole thing to her. That what he thought was nothing, turned out to be everything for him. That he love d her like he hadn’t before. That that fateful night was about the love that they shared, the love that they showered each other with, the love that they created, the love that was now in his arms in the form of their daughter. Asmaani.

“And after I leave you, trying to start my life afresh, you come back again and say that you love me! Don’t you feel ashamed of yourself?” Ragini asked. She looked at Asmaani in his arms and said, “Or is this solely about my daughter? You want to take her away from me? With you?” even the said thought made Ragini’s heart sank.

“Ours.” Said Sanskar. His tone was calm yet it held conviction.

“What?” Ragini asked her voice soft and laced with sadness.

“Asmaani isn’t just your daughter Shona! She’s mine as well. My blood and flesh. You call it donating a sperm, I call it making a life. You think we had s*x that night, but according to me, we made love. My love for you isn’t new, it isn’t the result of any manipulation you think I did, its plain reality, the essence of my life.”

Ragini bit her lip as Sanskar continued, “And I am not going to take Asmaani away from you. I am here to take you both with me. I want my family back Gini. I want you.”

“You don’t love me Sanskar, you love Swara.”

“I am not going to say that I never loved Swara. Yes, I did. But it is also true that I love you. What I had for Swara was conditional. When you love someone, you love all parts of that person, all the flaws, all the things. Me and Swara didn’t love each other that way. She loved a part of me, only a part, not the whole me, just like I loved her. I loved the sweet and innocent Swara, not the demanding one who wanted me to be as she liked. I loved her goodness but not her flaws. Same goes for her. We didn’t love all parts of each other. That’s the reason our relationship didn’t work. We got separated and she found her Mr. Perfect in Laksh. And when I thought that I was too broken to fall in love again, you came in my life like a huge storm.”

Ragini avoided looking at him, but Sanskar continued, “I thought that love is how perfect you both look, but I was wrong. Love isn’t about being perfect, it’s how imperfect you are but are a perfect fit for each other. You loved me and my flaws as well. You loved the parts of me that made me the man I am. And without me actually realizing it, I fell for you as well. I love the feisty you, I love the cranky you, I love the innocent you, I love everything about you.”

They fell into silence once again. But this time, along the rustle of leaves, the low sound of horns of vehicles, chirping of the birds, the soft cries of Ragini could also be heard.

“Maa…” Asmaani who was silent till now, squeaked now. She was trying to jump out of Sanskar’s arms, as she wanted to hug her crying mother. The child wanted to comfort her mother.

Ragini readily took Asmaani into her arms and this time Sanskar didn’t protested. Ragini buried her face in her daughter’s curls and inhaled her soft scent with soothed her senses. Before walking away, Ragini said;

“All this changes nothing Sanskar. It’s really hard to trust you after what you did to me. After all this, you can’t deny the fact that you messed up my life just to satisfy your ego regarding Swara. My heart is too broken to love and trust again.” Ragini sighed feeling emotionally drained as she walked away.

But Sanskar was not ready to let her go. After years he had finally found her, he wasn’t going to let her walk away out of his life once again. He was drunk last time, totally not in his senses that he didn’t realize that he not only wanted Ragini in his life but needed just like air to breathe. But not this time. He’s fully conscious and is aware of the fact that he need his Gini and not air to breathe and live. Seeing her walking away with their daughter in her arms, Sanskar took long strides towards her and clutched her arm tightly making it difficult for her to walk away.

“I have found you after loosing you, I am not letting you go this time. I missed the birth of my daughter, I am so not going to let you take away the chance to be a part of our daughter’s life.” He had a plan in mind, only Asmaani could help her Paa now.

Ragini wriggled out if Sanskar’s hold, “What the hell Sanskar? Are you doing drugs?”

“No I am not. I just need you and our daughter in my life. Is it too much to ask for?” Sanskar ran a hand through his hair. He was beginning to get frustrated, a trait only Ragini could bring out of him. People think that the person who makes you happy is the one you love but it reality it’s a little different. There are many people who would keep you happy but there is just one person, made only for you, who will challenge you and your ways, make you laugh and cry at the same time, love you a minute and annoy you in the next. The person who can make you feel like the king of the world and useless guy the next second, the person who has the ability to bring out the best and the worst in you is the person you really really truly love.

“For god’s sake Sanskar stop acting as if nothing happened!” Ragini yelled loudly. She covered Asmaani’s ears with her hands and pulled her more close, “What do you want me to do haan? Forgive you for all what you did to me just because you didn’t marry Swara? You sure have some high expectations.”

“Gini..”

“Don’t Gini me! You know what, you are selfish Sanskar. It’s always about you, your love, your obsession, your needs, your issues, your problems, your pain, everything yours and only yours, jaise dusron ki toh koi zindagi hi nahi hai! Even now you are all about you wanting is in your life.” Ragini cried. “Please leave us some Sanskar..please.”

Sanskar stepped closer to her, “Don’t cry please.” He wiped her tears and cupped her face, he was a little bit happy because Ragini let him do that. “I am so sorry. I will do anything to make you happy but please, please don’t go away. I won’t survive this time.”

Ragini looked at Sanskar with most eyes, she was to tired and emotionally drained to argue with him, “Just go away Sanskar, leave me and Asmaani alone. That will make me happy.”

Sanskar staggered back, he felt his hopes of getting Ragini and his daughter back in life shatter. “Can’t we..” Ragini gave him a look that clearly said “No.”

Sanskar felt weak in his knees, he felt as if someone had squeezed the life out of his heart and then crushed it under their shoes. He couldn’t breathe. Sanskar collapsed on the ground, his whole work shaken, falling apart.

“Maine der kar di na?” Sanskar sobbed making Ragini’s heart clench, she had never scene Sanskar like this, defeated. She wanted to comfort him, hug him, kiss his tears away but she couldn’t just forget what he did to her. “I am so sorry.” Sanskar cried hard.

“Sanskar..”

“Tum mere saath jeena nahi chahti aurr main tumharae bina jee nahi sakta.”

“Sanskar please…”

“I will go away Gini but please let me be a part of our daughter’s life. I promise you that I won’t ask you to come back to me but please let me be Asmaani’s father. She needs me and I need her, please.” Sanskar pleaded, he was sitting on his knees and his hands folded in a prayer like manner. Ragini’s resolve was shattering by every passing second as she stared at the defeated Sanskar Maheshwari who once lived like the king of the world.

“Maa..” Asmaani’s soft voice lead Ragini to shift her gaze from her husband to her daughter. Husband…they still weren’t divorced though, so legally he was still her husband, hell! She still hadn’t parted with the Maheshwari surname herself.

Asmaani tugged at her mother’s tresses hard, demanding attention. Ragini stared into her daughter’s eyes, for a moment it looked as if Asmaani was communicating with Ragini through her eyes, telling her mother to give her father another chance, asking her to comfort him. “Maa…Paa…” Asmaani stretched her body towards Sanskar who immediately stood up and ran towards the two most important people in his life. This time Ragini let Asmaani go easily, she knew she couldn’t separate the father-daughter duo now. Now that Sanskar is aware of the existence of his daughter he would want to be a part of her life and didn’t she herself want that? She had always told Asmaani that Sanskar was her father, used to show her his pictures and tell her stories about her father’s achievements. It was absurd telling a 2 year old things like that but Asmaani is special, she’s intelligent, more than the kids of her age and is very understanding, she always listen to what Ragini has to say.

Ragini watched the Sanskar cradling their daughter close to him with teary eyes, she was living her dream. Sanskar has committed many mistakes in his life, his biggest was to hurt her the way he did but he is Asmaani’s father and that is a relation Ragini wanted Asmaani to have. She didn’t want her daughter to grow up with the pain of not having a father figure by her side. It was time to make a decision, Ragini thought about Asmaani when she made the decision that might change her life or at least give it a new direction.

“Okay.” Ragini whispered.

Sanskar stilled, once again he was feeling as if nothing else existed other than him and his little family. Family, that he had lost due to his own mistakes. He could feel his heart beating hard and fast, he wasn’t sure of what he has just heard. For what Ragini said okay to?

“Sanskar..” Ragini sighed, “Tumne mere saath jo kuch bhi kiya I can’t just forget it all and forgive you. I still want you out of our lives but you are Asmaani’s father and I know how much a girl needs her father to be there for her like fathers are supposed to. Sanskar I grew up in an orphanage, always pining for a family, an actual family. I don’t want my daughter to go through the same pain. As much as she needs me, she also needs her father.”

“Gini..”

“Let me complete.” Ragini raised a hand in front of his face, “Asmaani needs you Sanskar, she needs her father and I’ll not deprive her of that. You lost the rights you had on me that night years ago, but Asmaani, woh tumhaari beti hai, tumhaara ansh, your flesh and blood, uspar haqq hai tumhara. You want to be a part of Asmaani’s life? I am allowing you to be. You can meet Asmaani whenever you want but please do not ask me to come with me. Asmaani will stay with me, I am allowing you to visit her anytime you want.”

“Really?” Desperation was evident in his voice, he just wanted to grab anything that Ragini offered. It was really a moment of pure relief and utter joy hearing that Ragini was letting him be a part of their daughter’s life.

Ragini turned sideways, “Ab aurr kuch expect mat karna Sanskar, I am letting you be a part of Asmaani’s life but not mine. Asmaani will always be your daughter, our daughter but I am not your wife anymore.” Lies! Ragini’s heart complained. If she didn’t consider him to her husband then why was she still using his name as hers, why she still applies vermillion in her hair partition, why?

Sanskar looked at Asmaani’s face first and then back at Ragini, after 2 years of loneliness filled with pain he was finally getting medicine for his wounds in form of his daughter. “Thank you.”

Ragini just gave him a curt nod in response. Though she was sure that this decision of hers was solely for Asmaani’s betterment, she just couldn’t ignore the nagging feeling that this choice of hers might lead to something different. She didn’t want to fall weak again but what she didn’t realize was that Sanskar’s true love is not her weakness but the strength that made Ragini make the choice of letting Sanskar be Asmaani’s father.

Precap – Sanskar-Asmaani-Ragini moments, Swara meeting Ragini.

P.S. Tell me what story you want me to update next;

1> Rishtey
2> This Time Forever
3> Dark Before Dawn
4> Yours

The one with maximum votes/comment will win and then be updated!