#RIANSH – BEING A WOMAN!!! – #PART – 1

17th Century – Women weren’t allowed to step out of the house
18th Century – Women started going to schools
19th Century – Women started attending colleges and stepped out of their villages, cities, or towns
20th Century – Women started working in different parts of the world
21st Century – Women started achieving milestones and creating a name for themselves

This is a great change the nation has achieved but there is something which never changes in this society…. and that’s b*t*hing, judging, and taunting women. Can we women sustain this society? Can a girl/ women live a single day without being judged? Without the fear of what might happen to them if they either step out of the house or even if they stay back in the house? Is there any place where women are safe???

I am in search of those answers and my this FF is the quest for that. Maybe by the end of this FF, I may find at least a single answer. Hoping for the best.

*************

Hi, Am Riddhima… I was Riddhima Raichand or should I say now am again Riddhima Sharma? (sarcastic chuckle) Confused? Just imagine if you are confused then what I would be going through… Didn’t get it? Or are you assuming to be a b*t*h or a sl*t? Am not in a mood to disclose my story but still… I think at present I need someone who’d not judge me and listen to me and understand what am going through or what I went through in the past 14 months… So, where do I start my disgusting life, or I might have made it a disgusting life with my own hands or maybe I let people around me to do so… Whatever!!! You’ll understand once am done with my part of the story.

(Flashback Starts)

So, hi am Riddhima… Riddhima Sharma. It all started 14 months back. Then I was Riddhima Raichand… Mrs. Riddhima Raichand C/o Mr. Aditya Raichand the industrialist. It was an arranged marriage. Though we could never meet before marriage. We didn’t even go for dates or outings after our marriage date was fixed because we didn’t get any time for all those things. One of my relatives got this match for me one fine day and the very next day the family came to see me. His father, mother, and he. We didn’t even speak anything. I just sat there as an exhibit being examined from tip to toe going to be purchased. Isn’t it so awkward & disgusting when someone examines you as if you are a toy? Exactly that was my feeling when they were asking me some baseless questions about my education, my hobbies, my cutlery skills, my work, and other shit. Did I tell you that all those questions were being asked by his parents while he was just fidgeting with his fingers or was just playing or should I say texting someone on his phone? Am sure he didn’t even bother to look at me. The way his parents were asking me questions was pissing me but I tried hard to maintain my calm. After a long discussion, the priest who came with them fixed our marriage date for within a week. I was amused or should I say appalled. Neither our families asked my opinion nor his on this marriage. Though I didn’t have any issue as I trust my parents so I was not so happy but yes a bit of happy isn’t a bad word to express my situation. I was doing all the shopping with my cousin Sejal.

Oops, I forgot to mention that am 26 years old and D/o Deep & Ishika Sharma. We belong to a middle-class family; dad is a retired Army Officer and Mum a housewife so you can say that I almost traveled the whole country for his duty and finally settled in Delhi after his retirement. I couldn’t make many friends due to this purpose. Am the only child of my parents and my family is orthodox and conservative. I had many restrictions being a girl child and also as I belonged to an army family. My dad was so strict, he never allowed me to stay out of the house after 7:30 pm, no speaking to boys, no boyfriends, no parties, no outings, no nigh outs with girls & nothing. And so on, had many restrictions but I coped with it in the process of life. I have done my MBA and am working as a marketing executive in a reputed Firm which pays me around 80,000 per month and after marriage, I’d be shifting to Mumbai with Aditya and his family but I can’t work after marriage as they have some conservative thoughts and they don’t want the daughter – in – law of Raichand’s to be working.

Okay now, let me introduce Aditya Raichand and his family. Aditya 30 years old the only son of Ashok and Mita Raichand the industrialists of Mumbai. Aditya is now running their business and is aiming to take it to the international level. I don’t know more about them as dad didn’t tell me anything more than this.

So, coming back to the mall. Yes, am here with my cousin Sejal. Sejal belongs to my maternal side of the family. We don’t share any thickest bond. We are just here as my mother wanted us to go along. Here am doing my shopping while she is roaming around tensed or upset. She is always a chilled-out girl but for 2 days I have seen her she is not in this world always on the phone chatting and speaking to someone. Even now she is on a call with someone. She is racing here and there as if her life is at stake. I think I need to speak to her and if there’s anything that’s hurting her maybe I could help. I approached her and that’s when I heard her

Sejal: We need to find a solution to this baby… I cant live without you. please try to convince your family. Because this decision is going to cost all our lives and…

Me: Sejal!!!

Sejal jerked listening to my voice and cut the call and turned around with tears in her eyes and some unmentioned emotions in her eyes. I gave her a confused look before speaking

Me: Sejal… Are you ok?

Sejal: What do you mean? (raising eyebrows)

Me: Have been observing you for days. You seemed to be out of the world so was concerned so just wanted to check you

Sejal (anger): Riddhima you better stay within your limits and mind your work. You don’t have the right to interfere in my matters.

She stormed out of the place confusing me and now I blame myself for even bothering her and caring for her. I shouldn’t have. Just mocking myself, I reached my car where she was already present. We didn’t speak anything after that day and I did see her lost in her own self later on until my wedding day. Finally, my wedding day is here and all this, while I was nervous as the thought itself, was so freaking that am getting married to some unknown person. I didn’t find him in any rituals related to the marriage. His family informed us that he is wrapping some important work in Mumbai. Suddenly before the day of my wedding, Sejal cited that she needs to report to her office for her duty and left for Mumbai without attending my marriage and I did feel something fishy but still I just brushed those thoughts and concentrated on my wedding.

Finally, the baarat came, and my marriage was conducted. Aditya seemed to be off. All the rituals were done and my family bid me bye and for the first time, I was going to step out of my that world without my family. I was a hell lot of nervous but thought I can manage. We reached Mumbai the next day on flight and all this while Aditya didn’t even utter a word with me, he was only on his phone. His mother was the only accomplice I had. Once we reached Mumbai, the car with Aditya and me drove to another mansion which was supposed to be for us as cited by his mother, as they both drove back to their mansion. We reached his mansion and he opened his side of the door and left towards the entrance and I followed him and as soon as I entered the main door, I saw him hugging a girl who was covered by him as his back was towards me. I was wondering who this girl was. Though my family is orthodox and oldie, I am a girl with a modern and broad mind. Am not affected by that hug but I was curious to know who that girl was and their relationship so was glaring at them with a bit of curiosity. And after a while of like about 2-3 mins, they broke their hug and he kissed her forehead while she kissed his cheek and that was something which created nervousness and panic in me. And what I next saw and heard was totally like I felt myself being swallowed by the earth.

Aditya: I missed you baby

: I missed you too and I Love you

Aditya: I Love you too Jaan

They turned around and then my eyes fell on the girl and she was… Sejal!!! I was shocked would-be understatement. I could feel myself almost collapsing, I held onto the door beside me for support.

Me: … se…Sejal!!!

Sejal who heard my voice turned around and I don’t know why but I felt her eyes were speaking some unknown language while Aditya held her hands and both walked towards me to the entrance while I kept on staring at them with moist eyes as my tears were messing my sight. Before I could speak anything I saw the servants assembling the living room as even they were curious to know who I was and what was going on.

Aditya: I forgot your name (trying to recollect)

That broke my heart, the man with whom I was married a few hours back was trying to recollect my name, his wife’s name

Sejal: Riddhima… her name is Riddhima

I gave a blank glare to Sejal to which she was just staring at me with some expression which I couldn’t understand as my eyes lost their capacity to even see, his voice broke my thoughts

Aditya: Ha Riddhima. Am sorry but I never wanted to marry you. My only love is, was, and will always be Sejal. We have been in relation for the past 2 years. And this marriage was forced on me by my family. So, I hope you understand

Me: What should I understand? (sarcastic tone) I should understand that my life has been totally ruined by you both?

Sejal: Riddhima please understand. We love each other

Me: Shut up Sejal! Just shut up… (anger)

Aditya: Riddhima you don’t have the right to speak to Sejal in that tone (anger)

Me (sarcastic chuckle): I don’t have the right to speak to her… I don’t have the right to vent my feelings to show how hurt I am…. I don’t have the right to be angry seeing my husband and my cousin in relation right!!!

Aditya: Riddhima me and Sejal have decided to get married today and you don’t have to be afraid of your future as I’ll take care of it and….

Sejal (excited): Yes Riddhima you can stay with us here in this house.

I was glaring them totally blank as to what rubbish they were speaking of….

Me: Woww!!! My life is a fairy-tale right!!! (sarcasm) Now my husband and my cousin would allow me to stay in their house after getting married today! You both are so helpful and kind. Do you want me to do your arti? No, if you have any such wish do let me know, I’ll do it with much enthusiasm. After all, which husband and his second wife allow his first wife to stay under the same roof!!!

Aditya: Riddhima now you are crossing your limits

Me (anger & shouting): You expect me to stay under one roof with you both and then you ask me not to cross my limits? Who the hell are you to set my limits? What’s the relationship we share?

Aditya: Am your husband Goddammit!!!

Me (sarcastic chuckle): Husband!!! Do you remember that we have been married just a few hours back? Great!!! I am a fool who expected that my life would be a dream come true as in Happily Married and they lived happily ever after. But it’s indeed a dream, isn’t it!!! A foolish dream…

Sejal: Riddhima we didn’t mean to hurt you

Me (anger and shouting): Then what the hell did you expect me to do? His family was against your both relationship, you could have spoken to your parents right. At least you could have informed me when you got to know that am getting married to the one you love. Didn’t I ask you in the mall a few days back? At least you could have spoken tab… I would have broken this marriage! What was the need to create a façade and then breaking it!!! Now how do you expect me to accept this stupid reality? Am I some toy which you’d buy and keep in your house as an exhibit? Am a goddammit human and I have feelings too. I thought I’d start a new life after marriage but coming here the reality cross-checked my life showing how f**ked up my life is. What else do you expect from me?

I was continuously crying to see how drastically my life turned into. I just wanted to burst my heart out on my culprits whom I thought to be my well-wishers, but they turned to be the destroyers of my life

Me (crying): If you both loved each other who gave you the right to take decisions of my life and ruin it? There was a week time, at least you or Aditya could have told me and I’d have stopped this marriage and would have saved my life from getting ruined. You both just thought about yourself and have become the reason for my life to be destroyed. And now showing some sympathy doesn’t make your move valid. You both have ruined my life and my self-respect will never allow me to stay under the same roof where my betrayers are present.

I picked my luggage and was moving out when something strikes me, turning around I see their blank faces. I moved towards them and

Me: Am not a witch who’d curse you for spoiling my life so Happy Married Life and yes you won’t face any issue from my side. Good Bye but remember one thing you both spoiled a girl’s life by hiding the truth!!

I just turned around and walking few steps, I realized that I forgot to give them something which I have and which isn’t mine anymore. When I turned around I saw them moving in without any guilt in their eyes which broke me more. But now it’s not the time to break and show them that they can break me,

Me: Mr. Aditya Raichand

He turned around to see me with confused looks as if he didn’t expect me to call him again. But who cares what he expects. So, I walked few steps

Me: These aren’t mine anymore as they belong to your wife which am not!

Saying, I removed my chooda (wedding bangles), nuptial chain, and wedding ring and threw it on his face before leaving the mansion without looking behind what their expression even was.

It has been 3 hours since I left the mansion and in the beginning, I was confused and hesitant as to where do I go as though I was not new to the place because I stayed here around 12 years ago during my 9th & 10th, as during that period dad was in Mumbai for his work. But the city has changed a lot in this time and everything seems to be new around but still, my conscience and my self-respect doesn’t allow me to look back towards that mansion and the person who doesn’t belong to me. I took a cab and opt my destination as Juhu Beach as I always loved its aura and that always gave me some peace and I need it now with all my will. I chose a secluded place in the corner and sat there trying to understand where I am and what my future is ahead. My brain stopped functioning and everything seemed to be blanked out. I felt like my world is collapsing in front of my eyes but am unable to even react, it felt like as if my whole life sucked up. I didn’t know what I was doing there and until when. I lost track of time and that’s when breaking my trance and thoughts I heard a voice

: Beta careful, you’ll trip on the sand and hurt yourself.

I saw in the direction to find a mother running behind a kid and that reminded me of my parents. In all this chaos I totally forgot to inform them what the hell happened with their daughter. I quickly grabbed my bag and pulling my phone, I quickly dialed Mum’s number and after few rings, I could hear her voice

My Mum: Riddhima!!! (happy and excited)

Me: Ma!!

I couldn’t control any more tears; they made their way and my mum could hear my broken voice and she was worried

My Mum (worried): Riddhima, bacha what happened? Why are you crying?

I guess dad heard her concern and he asked her to put the call on speaker as his voice was audible from behind

My Dad: Riddhima what happened why are you broken?

They were showering concern and my weeping worried them. After a while, I finally tried to control my tears and wiping them I finally spoke

Me: Ma, Papa!!!!

My Dad: Ha beta tell us what happened? Where is Aditya!!!!

Enough!! I was on verge of once again crying but I decided to fight my tears back and spoke

Me: Papa! I… I want to come back home

My dad and mom were shocked as I heard my mum gasp and dad taking long breaths

My Mum: Riddhima… beta I know it’s for the first time you left us so you are afraid in a new place but you need to cope with this. It’s your new life, new house, and new family. You need to give your time and accept that family as yours now. Everything will be fine.

My Dad: Riddhima I know my daughter. She is a fighter who is strong enough to fight all her problems and fears alone. Isn’t it? Bacha now tell us where is Aditya? And what happened that you are hurt?

I was amused to see that my parents are assuming that am eager to come home because am afraid or missing them. Yes, am missing them but am not afraid of the new start of my life because the reality was far different than their thoughts, and am struck!!!!! I Am stuck in my life… I couldn’t take their belief in that Aditya and they pestering me asking his whereabouts was pissing me to the core

Me: Ma!!! Pa!!! (almost shouted)

And I revealed everything that happened a few hours back and reminiscing all those events was breaking me again and again. Once done, I took a long breath and all I could hear from my parent’s side was total silence and this silence was freaking me… I stood silent waiting for them to respond but when I didn’t get any response I spoke breaking the silence

Me: Ma, Papa I want to come home. I cant stay here after all that happened

And in reflex what I heard broke me apart into pieces as I never expected this from my parents

My Mum (almost shouting in panic and worry): NOO!!! No Riddhima you can’t come home back

My Dad: Riddhima, your mum is right. You are married and after marriage, a girl never returns back to her parent’s house.

My Mum: And now you can never come back and remember that we cant accept you back. What will society say when they’ll see you back in our house just after 24 hours of marriage! No, No, NO!!!!!

My Dad: Riddhima am not going to allow you to enter this house again. The relation with this house and us has ended the moment you were married off. Now that’s your house, that’s your life and not this.

My Mum: I suggest you to get back to Aditya and speak to him and sort this instead of breaking this marriage. He is an understanding man and is a nice person, he’ll definitely understand you and will definitely accept you too. You have a great life ahead, don’t spoil it with your own hands

My Dad (anger): Who asked you to walk out of that house and his life without informing us and consulting us? Do you think you have shown how your self-respect is important to you? No!! Instead, you showed how a fool you are who’s hell-bent on spoiling her life with her own hands. Do you have any idea what society would call a girl like you!!! They’ll give you names and will malign your character by humiliating you in every step of your life and will even give us names and that’s going to affect our pride and prestige which I’ll never let to happen not even in my worse dreams. I’ll never let you play with the prestige I have been taking care of for years.

My Mum: Riddhima your dad is right… you have committed a mistake by taking a decision in haste without even thinking for a moment of our pride and prestige. Now, who’ll answer the society? I suggest you to go back to him and start afresh. Ask for forgiveness. Am sure he’ll forgive you and accept you again. Go beta… go to him

This was enough of the rubbish from my parents from whom I thought I’ll get some support. They are blaming me when whatever happened with me wasn’t even anywhere connected with me. I didn’t ask him to betray me and break me. Enough now I can’t let my parents too to hurt my emotions and feelings.

Me (anger and shouting): ENOUGH!!!!!! Ma, Papa have you both lost it? Why would I apologize to him when he ruined my life by hiding the matter that he loves my cousin! I left that house and that life and being my parents, you expect me to get back to the one who doesn’t want me in his life, who is going to get married to my cousin. You want me to get back to that life and stay under the same roof with him and his wife? How can you say that!!! Don’t I have any self-respect? Am I some toy that they’ll try to break and I without any pride for myself I’d get back to him and let him break me more??? Being my parents, aren’t you supposed to support me in this crisis instead of asking me to get back to him? Being my parents, you are supposed to support me instead of stating about society. I didn’t expect this from you both. But still what else can I expect from them who cares for the society rather than their daughter. But now enough is enough… I cant compromise on my self-respect and my decision is final. Am not going into that house or into his life even after my death. I can’t live even a moment where they both live. And yes (sarcastic chuckle) don’t worry… You’ll not face the taunts of society as you are not going to see this daughter’s face again in your life. I don’t want to be the reason for destroying your pride because I know the feeling of what’s it to be betrayed by the person whom you trusted. And now this is my assurance to you that you’ll not get any news of my death too…. (wiping my tears) GOODBYE Ma & PAPA!!!!!

(Present)

Hey… so what do you guys think I should have done after what they did to me? Do you think that I should have listened to my parents and go and beg that man to accept me? I don’t understand why do some parents chose society over their children’s future? Whatever I did or said was fair enough or not? What do you think I should have done according to you? Why does society expect the girls to adjust and compromise? Why isn’t a girl’s choice considered for her life? Why????….

Acha forget it, let’s see what else happened in my life next………