Swara’s POV
He just gave me some time to conquer myself. To get attached to all the pieces that I’ve been broken into. But all I could do was stare at his disappearing demeanour. He was still. He was angry. He was sick of me probably. He was sick of me because maybe I was too childish for him to call me his wife. That hurt. That hurt terribly. I was longing for a sight of him and when provided with, I’m not able to bear his hatred. Why does he hate me? And all in the while, why is he avenging my father? As I know, they were business partners for a while ago. But then, I didn’t see him in any of the meetings after our divorce.
Now, he wants to marry me again? For what? Why is he behaving weird?
I’ve been kept forsaken for the love I crave for. Why in the f**king hell am I not getting it? It was damn irritating to see everyone yell at you, blame you, and bash you for something that you don’t know rather be a reason for!
I feel there’s nothing else in my life other than bearing this hatred of my loved ones. Was this neccesary to lead such a life?
I couldn’t move anymore as my knees went jello as I dropped my shaking body on the granite floor. Hugging myself, I sat there resting my head on the edge of the bed.
My body shook as I carried bitterly and I bet I’ll get a sore throat after this.
***
Three hours passed. The day had been my luckiest as well as the nightmare. Nothing more can I expect than seeing the love of my life living under the same roof as I. But nothing can be as bashful to live away from him, with him next to me.
“swawa? ” I hear a voice at the door. Wiping off my already dried tears, I stick my head that way to see Aadhya standing at the entrance of the door to my room.
Nothing can be much prettier, with this little two year kid in her blue pajamas and a pink tee-shirt.
I nodded her to come to me and she ran as fast as her little steps could carry her.
Lifting her in my arms, I stood her on my lap, winding my arms around her little waist.
“you cry? ” she asks caressing my face and I couldn’t control the smile that crept my lips.
“no, Aadhya!! ”
She smiled at me before kissing me on my cheeks.
“dad” she said and a part of me shivered. Was she referring Sanskar?
“Sanskar? ”
She nodded her little head.
“dad bring chokit….. ” she said animatedly.
I felt a part of my being ripped off. Don’t tell me she was his daughter! I remember laksh calling her his brother’s daughter.
No this can’t be.
“Aadhya? ” Ragini entered the room in search of her.
Guessing my blank expression, she took Aadhya in her arms.
“we’ve to go shop for your wedding. Get ready! I’ll answer! ” she said before she walked out with Aadhya in her arms.
Though my mind said that there was a possibility of him having an extra marital affair, my heart didn’t accept. I knew his love for me was true. I did see that in his blue eyes and there was a time when I was lost in them.
Everything was so confusing. A doubt crept into my mind. What if that was the reason behind him asking me to divorce him? I remember him giving no reasons other than bashing me with few words that made the situation inevitable for me to sign those papers that changed my life.
***
After a round of dreadful shopping for around five hours we were back to the dorm. Now I recognize the place I live in. This was the same place that I had seen Sanskar disappearing when I followed him a few moths back. Now I see it’s real beauty.
The dorm is artistic. The garden in the front with plantae that he loved. Different flowers clustering giving it an ecstatic look. The driveway is made exactly at the center with the plants around.
Beautiful was not the word to explain. As followed, the porch was well built with white pillars and the teak wood door painted an extreme radiant black shone it’s way.
The guard, opened the door for us as we entered.
“Swara, I think, it’s better of you speak to him and clear. I have told you to some extent amd let him tell you the left out part of the story. ” ragini said pressing my hands in reassurance.
My words slipped away. The thought of meeting him sent a shiver down my spine. I feared to see his hatred for me in his eyes. His eyes were ever expressing. My heart would break if he says that he doesn’t want me.
“Ragini, I don’t think it’s a good idea. His composure presently doesn’t seem right for me to talk… ”
It was better when she agrees but I knew it was best if I cleared all my doubts with him. But I would prefer the first one though.
“swara, you’re just going your way. Sanskar needs someone to talk to. To share with. I’d never seen him the way he’s after your divorce! ”
My eyes shooted up at her.
“how do you know? ”
“everyone here knows, all he wants to show the world is that you’re his. You were married off to each other in not so good situation with the fear of getting caught by your dad. But now, he wants to declare for the world that you’re his. ”
I nodded my head composing.
“I’ll speak to him. ”
I walked to the stair case in front of me remembering everything she said.
Laksh who stood outside his room with Aadhya in his arms, sleeping flashed a smile at me. I smiled back at him sadly before fastening my pace.
“third one from yours!! ” he shouted at my back and I nodded. That was when I remembered that I didn’t even know where his room was.
****
“I hate you Swara…. ” I heard him say as I stood at his door.
My heart shattered.
“no…. I try to hate you!! ” he said again.
As if given a ray of hope, I peered into his room to see him completely out of his senses.
With a half emptied bottle of cutty sark, he sat there with a peg in his hands. He was drowsy. He was lost, he was in pain. I wish I could run to him, take him in my arms and console him. Take away all possible pain in him. But it’s not possible. I fear, to see his hatred for me in his eyes.
But I can’t lose him. Not after losing him once. Not again.
My legs to the lead and I crept the way into his room quietly.
“I missed you Swara. I missed you real bad. ” he said face palming.
My heart stung.
“I missed you too… ” I said louder enough for him hear me.
He glanced up to me shocked.
“Swara…. What are you doing here? ” he asked clearly his eyes with the back of his fingers.
“you don’t want me here? ”
He smiled sadly.
He was drunk. And I thought I could get the answer.
“Sanskar? What’s with you? Why did you leave me? And once left, before I could heal why did you comeback. I didn’t need you. I could have survived without you. I thought you really loved me like I did. But no. ”
I shivered. My lips quivered. I bet my face is beet red with all the crying crap. Wiping my tears with the back of my hands, I walked to him.
“didn’t you ever feel the need to See Me? You know, I always did. I almost killed myself with the lack of your warmth. Without you in my life. Sanskar please say something. Please… ” I begged him literally.
He let out a humorless chuckle.
“you really think so? You know Swara, I never wanted to suffer a heart break. But you see whatever you want is not what you get. I never wanted to see my sweetie, my Shruti lying suffering. I could not even bare a simple fever that caught her. But now, she’s been unconscious for a year. Or more than that. I never wanted my siblings to leave me, but see my brother, Adarsh left us. His wife followed him leaving behind that innocent kid in our life. You know, when your father asked me to leave you behind and get divorced, I agreed fearing to lose that little bundle of joy. But I never complained. At times, some people weigh more than our life partner in our lives. I never regret the decision of leaving you behind. But I had no other option. I tried…. I tried living without you. But I was addicted to you to leave a day alone, let alone a life. I failed utterly. I feel ashamed to face myself in the mirror. I wish you don’t hate me for what I did with you…. ” he said his eyes filled.
Of course. My eyes were streaming. What’s with my dad? Why doesn’t he let me live in peace. I knew he was the one behind this.
My heart stung at his vulnerability. He eyes shut, as he threw his head back. His lips quivered. His nose scrunched. My Sanskar was never like this. Lost and confused about himself.
I couldn’t hold the urge to touch him as I moved towards him, launching myself on his lap while he sat on a wooden chair.
My arms quickly circled his neck while his went into my tee-shirt. I shivered in his arms hugging himself to me. He held me closer to him, tighter.
He leaned over and kissed the back of my ears sending goosebumps all over my skin.
“I love you Swara… ” he whispers before kissing my forehead.
“I love you…. ” I said leaning forward to kiss his cheeks.
I grabbed the back of his neck and kissed the side of his lips. He tasted the same. Gooseberries.
That was enough for him. His arms reached the back of my neck, and he dragged me into a wild passionate kiss. I brought myself closer to his heart, feeling every of his touch. His hands roamed all over my back under my shirt, making me squirm in his arms. The kiss started passionate and grew wild. I closed my eyes enjoying being in the arms of the love of my life.
We released each other after what seemed like forever. My cheeks turned crimson at his ministrations.
He smiled at me before pulling me to his chest and I hugged him by his waist, resting my head on his chest.
“I love you… ” I said kissing his chest.
“I know… ” he said kissing my head.
Nothing could get much better. I was in my home. And it felt right. Perfect.
I loved him and he loved me.
I hope he wouldn’t forget this when he would he sober.
*****
A/N: hello people!!! How are you? I’m really not good with my exams around. Anyways… So here we have the next part. How was it? Boring? I don’t know…. I have tried to put the emotions in its place. I hope you like it…. Thanks for the support so far…. Love you all… do comment…. That means a lot….