SARPHIRE SHORT STORY ON ISHQBAAZ SHOT 4

SUCHNA JAN HIT MA JAARI: HUM KYA AAPKO MUNICIPAL CORPORATION WALA LAGTA HAI JO HAR BAAR SUCHNA JAN HIT MA JAARI KARENGA AAPKA KHUD KA KHYAAL RAKHNA AAPKI SWAAM KI ZIMADAARI HAI HUMARI NAHI.
DHANYWAAD….

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Tej: Mujha saamajh nahi aaraha Ki yeh pagal khana ha ya chidiya ghaar. Saabhi janvaar yahi par paal lo.
(I am not able to understand that weather this mental asylum or a national park.)
Saying so he pats his head.
Shakti: Bhai Saab it’s two in one samjh Ki jiya.
(Brother it’s two in one, try to understand.)
Pinky: Aur aap ho na iss chidiya ghaar ka ring master.
(And you are ring master of this national park.)
Jhanvi: Isliya mai kehti hu tun kisi kaam ki nahi hai, ring master circus me hota hai chidiya ghar me nahi.
(That’s why I said you are useless, ring master is in circus not in national park.)
Svetlana: Chidiya ghar pagal Khanna circus sala ho kya raha ha yahan pa.
(Sometimes circus sometimes mental asylum, what the hell is happening here.)
Jhanvi: Lo yeh nayi aayi Svetlana Ki baachi.
(Look she has come new Svetlana’s child.)
Svetlana: Mai uski bachhi nahi mai Svetlana hi hu.
(I am not Svetlana’s child, I am Svetlana.)
Jhanvi and everyone claps ????? and say waah kya nayi baat batayi hai.
(WOW what a new piece of information you have given us.)
Om: Hum toh aandhain ha aankhon ma kala motiya utra ha dikhna hi baand hogaya hai na.
(We are blind na, we can’t see.)
Rudra: Mai pehle hi keh raha tha zulfein katwa lo ab dekho ho gaye na andhey.
(I had told you already that get your long hair trimmed.)
Om: RU tu mera bhai hai ya dushman.
(Ru are you my brother or enemy.)
Rudra: Bhai hu lekin insaan hu.
(I am your brother but first I am a human.)
Shivaay: Vaisa insaanon waali koi baat toh tum ma lagti nahi hai.
(But I don’t think there is anything like humans in you guys.)
Anika: waah insaan honey ki hidayat bhi to dekho kaun de raha hai jisey insaan ke spelling bhi nahi aatey hongey.
(Look who is talking about being a human, who himself doesn’t know the spellings of human.)
Rudra: Waisa insaan ka spellings kya hota honga di.
(By the way what are the spellings of human?.)
Soumya: Oh gadha ja jakar body bana waahi kaam kar Jo tujhsa hota hai faltu ma dusroon ka kaam ma adaangi na dala kar.
(Hye you idiot go and make body do that work which suits you and stop interfering in others work.)
Anika: Aaj to ye Billu ji hi bateynge.
(Today billu ji will only tell the spellings of word ‘Insaan’ (human.).)
Shivaay: I N S Vo Vo lagta ha Khanna ka phone aarha hai.
(I N S….. Vo Vo I think so Khanna called me.)
Anika: Ek toh mujha yeh saamajh nahi aata Ki khana aapka bodyguard hai ya girlfriend jab dekho aapko phone Karta rehta hai.
(I don’t understand one thing is Khanna your bodyguard or girlfriend, he always keeps calling you.)

Rudra: Apko spelling nahi aatey seedha bol.
(Say it straight na that you don’t know the spellings.)
Shivay: Aap log mera mazak uda rahey ho.
(You all are making fun of me.)
Soums: Na na Bhaiya hum toh itni dair Sa aapki tareef ka phool bandh raha tha.
(No dear brother we were just praising you since so long.)
Rudra: Na bhai aap toh mazaak Karta nahi aagar hum bhi nahi kareinga toh S.S. KA base kya reh jayeiga.
(Hye brother you don’t crack jokes and if we also didn’t do that then what will be the base of S.S..)
OM: Tareef ke phool is par koi gende ke phool na chadhaye tu tareef ke saja raha ha.
(You are talking about praising him no one would insult him also.)
Anika: Are Om toh samjha nahi uska matlab gobhi ka phool Sa tha ra.
(Om you didn’t understand he was talking about cauliflower.)
Shivaay: Ghobhi. Tujha na ma ghoobhi ma daal kar namak mirch masala dal kar aloo gobhi bana dunga aloo Ki dukaan.
(Cauliflower, wait I will put you in cauliflower then add salt and spices and make allo gobhi (a dish) of yours.)
Rudra: Soumya we all are talking about your mouth would be becoming watery na.
Somya: Muh me pani to nahi hath me khujli zaroor aa rahi hai.
(I am not feeling watery mouthed but irritation is happening in my hands.)
Rudra: Yaar yeh Lai. (He hands over the powder that Shivaay brought for Anika and says) toh bhi thik kar aapna haath Ki khujli.
(Take this and get rid of your irritation.(He hands over the powder that Shivaay brought for Anika and says).)
Tia: Khujli what’s khujli.
(What’s irritation?)
Anika: Bhai aisa hai OM jaye na jaye mai jaa rahi hu bhai itna explanation to kabhi exams me nahi Diya 6 marks ke question. Ka yaha sala har minute me explanation mai chali bhai.
(Man it’s like this that weather Om leave or not but I am leaving. I never had to give this much explanation in exams for 6 marks question. And over here I have to give explanation every now and then.)
Shivay: Ab TU kaha chali.
(Now where are you going.)
Anika: TU zaroor poochh saley tu police officer laga hai har cheez poochhey Jaa raha hai. Investigation par investigation
Kabhiwhat’s this kabhi what’s that aur ab kaha chali
(Ya you do ask, are you police officer that you keep asking questions. Investigation over investigation. Sometimes what’s this, then what’s that and now where are you going?)
Shivaay gulping his words : WO mai to gana gaa raha tha O man chali kaha chali.
(No dear I was just singing a song.)
Anika: Na bawaley tainey badey ganey yaad aa rahey hai aajkal ke orchestra kholan ki soch RYA hai ka.
(Hye you mad man you are remembering many songs today, do you want to open an orchestra.)
Shivay: Good idea.
Anika: Abbey e phatey hue dhol se nikle hue bigdey hue sur agar orchestra khola na tuney to tujhe par pakka dhara 144 lagoo ho jayegu.
(Hye Mr. Dare you open an orchestra I am sure Dhara 144 will be applied on you.)
Tia: What’s that dhaara.
Rudra holds his head and sits down folding his legs says : Bhai mujhe koi hospital chhor aao ek ka what’s this what’s that aur doosre ka oberoi aur what’s that language sun sun ke mera glucose kam ho gaya hai.
(Oh god somebody please take me to hospital I can’t bear these people after hearing their nonsense my glucose level has lowered.)
Somiya: Yahan hum lad lad ke marey Jaa rahey hai aur tujhe glucose ki padi hai phir ye muscles kya cycle ke pump se hawa bhar ke phulaye hai tuney Jo baat cheet me teri haalat past hai to exercise kaisey karta hai be jadiye.
(Over here we are dying to solve the problem and you want glucose now, have you made these muscles for show piece.)
Rudra: Aabey 500 kg ki chuhiya baat cheet kaha aur kis angle se lag rahi hai tujhe ye yaha to baat cheet kam aur chillam chilli jiyada ho rahi hai.
(Hye you 500kg rat who the hell is talking here all are just blabbering their own nonsense.)
OM : Lo Bhai ye sala apni geometry le ke baith gaya.
(Now he has sat here taking his geometry.)
Rudra: TU painting class khol le mana kiya hai kisine.
(Then you start your painting here.)
OM: Bhai idea to achha hai suno be sab ke sab.
(Good idea.)
All of them look @ him.
OM: Kisi ko algebra aati hai.
(Does someone know algebra here.)
Anika: Mujhe aati hai.
(I know.)
OM: To TU idhar aa Jaa baki sab continue please.
(Then you come here.)
Shivaay: Oye moti buddhi pehla yeh toh Bata Ki ek crore ma kitna zero hota hai.
(Hye you brainless person first tell how many zero’s are there in a crore.)
Anika: Chup Ba baagad billa ek hi show ma ek hi question soo baari puch chuka hai aab toh bacha bacha ko pata chal chuka hai Ki crore ma kitna zero hota hai.
(Shut up you wild cat. How many times will you ask same question, in same show. Now every single kid knows the answer of this question.)
Shivay: Na phir bhi bata to sahi kitne hotey hai.
(Anyways still answer me.)
Anika: TU saley jahil hai ya pretned karta hai na crore se neechey baat karta hi nahi sala bandey di Jaan agar raastey me bhook lagegi na ti zero ek hi kaam aa jayega itne sarey gin ne ki zaroorat hi nahj.
(Hye are you illiterate or you just pretend to be you never talk below crores.)
OM: Laakh takey ki baat.
(Your words are worth lakhs.)
Anika: Bada crore to chhota lakh waah Bhai.
(Elder brother is talking about crores so younger is talking about lakhs.)
Rudra: 10 rupay wali baat.
(Your words are worth rupees ten.)
Anika: Bilkul sahi Rudra arey 10 rupay hi to hai agar ho to Maggie ka ek packet aa jata hai.
(Yup it’s worth ten rupees if someone has ten rupees then that person can buy a Maggie.)
Rudra: Funflips ka 2 packet aa jata hai.
(2 packets of funflip.)
Somya: Yummy biscuit ke do packet aa jatey hai.
(Yummy and two packets of biscuits.)
Shivay: Ye sab hai kya.
(What is all this.)
Anika: Ye sab WO khana hai Jo insaan khatey hai na ke tum jaisey log pata nahi kya kya khatey peetey hai saira bano dimag khano and all huh.
(All this is that food which humans eat.)
Shivaay: Excuse me Jo ma banata hun vo bhi khana hi hota hai.
(Excuse me what I make is also food.)
Anika: Aacha gayain bhains ka chara bhi uss Sa better hota hai.
(No it’s the food which animals eat.)
Shivaay: What’s this gayainbhains and chara.
(What’s that.)
Tia: Aabey chup ho ja saala phir aapni baizaati ka malida banvayega itni bakwaas sun na ka baad toh gaadha ko bhi aakal aajati hai. Par nahi yeh toh gaadhon ka bhi baagad billa hai.
(Hye shut up you idiot, you are so keen to spoil your insult again. After hearing so much even a donkey understands, but you are even worse than them. You are Mr. Cat of Donkey’s.)

to be continued…..
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All right guys that’s all for now, catch you all soon with next part of “SARPHIRE”. But till then don’t forget to drop your comments on this hilarious ride. All sorts of comments will be accepted from talliyan to galliyan ji bhaar kar do Jo Dena chahta ho. But do drop your views.

MISDIRECTED BY ?: KHORAFAATI TEAM {SURBHI DI & SHIVIKA}