SWASAN: AASHIYAN [EPISODE-3] [REWRITTEN]
previous parts- Read Here
taking her steps on the exit door of mm swara felt she was losing something precious, as if she was losing herself. it felt like her whole existence is being taken away. but yet those pool of emotions in her heart were overpowering all her senses.
her thoughts were switching from one incidence to other, completely puzzled she reached baadi and didn’t realised as if she was dizzied and dazed with all the happenings in her life.
sumi tried to start a conversation and make swara understand what she has done but then seeing swaragini’s state she asked them to go in their room and take rest.
swaragini walked off from there and as soon as they reached their room ragini hugged swara and burst out crying.
swara coming out of her thoughts at the sudden hug from ragini, became alert and hugged her back.
swara- what happened ragini.
ragini- swara …. we came here leaving mm. we did right naa…. laksh will come back naa….. what is all this happening in our lives. when we thought that everything is being correct hen only everything shattered…. and swara you left sanskar….. you heard naa what he said… i don’t think you should have done this..
swara- [after a long pause] everything will be alright. [consoling her and breaking the hug ] you see laksh will be back soon. sanskar will soon find him.chalo now come and take rest.
ragini nodded and swara wiped her tears and led her to bed. making her comfortable and covering her with comforter she sat beside ragini until she fallen in deep sleep and till then swara was submerged in her thoughts.
about half an hour later swara came out changing her dress into simple night suit into kitchen to fetch water.
sumi who was preparing dinner saw her and spoke
sumi- shona ragini ….what is she doing? and how is she?
swara- she is alright maa. sleeping now.
sumi- accha…[oh..ok..] …..shona shall i ask you something?
swara- yaa maa. why are you taking permission?
sumi- what do you think you did today was right?
swara who was filling water in the jug stopped and stiffened.
sumi- [turning swara towards herself] shona you just left sanskar and came here. you blamed him. beta you should have thought before speaking anything. do you realise what have you done.
shekhar who was with ayush and just came towards kitchen and heard sumi’s words spoke
shekhar- what she did was correct. sanskar raised stone on laksh and fought with him. laksh is nowhere to be found just after that fight. have you seen ragini’s condition. i can’t see my daughter in that state. and did you hear how he said that swara can’t come back to that house if she came with us. sumi you have been right most of the times but you are sympathising him because of whom ragini is in this condition as laksh is not here. don’t think much about him.
sumi- but shekhar sanskar has no fault in this. yes he was angry but then also he threw away the stone by himself. and laksh..
shekahr- sumi let these talks be. ragini will need us at this time. we should care for her. and swara is here then surely she will be a great support to ragini.
swara was dumbfounded and shocked hearing shekhar. she was not knowing what to say. shekhar meanwhile went from there.
sumi- shona ignore shekhar’s words. he is probably angry on sanskar now i think. i will make him understand. but shona i think you should think deeply on this matter and try to understand what you did and what is right? it’s the matter of your life beta. we all are there for ragini and so are you but leaving sanskar was not correct.
swara- maa can you give me dida’s home keys. i want to be alone for some time.
sumi- wo it is kept on key stand.
swara- hmmmm… maa wo ragini is sleeping so when she wakes up then please manage.
sumi- ok…. dinner will be ready in sometime. have your food
swara- no maa…i am not hungry.
she walked out towards bose house taking the keys and went to her room, the room where she had spent all her childhood and teenage until she was accepted as gadodia’s daughter. the room which has seen all her miseries and tears and where till a week before swasan lived in the time of family crisis.
sitting on the bed taking the photo frame from the side table which was of swasan’s marriage she stared at it for long as slowly tears flowed down her cheeks unstoppable. clutching the frame close to her heart she cried out her heart.
swara- i am sorry…….. i am so sorry…..i never meant to say that….. i don’t know how i said those all to you and because of me baba also thinks wrong about you. i am sorry.
PYAR HUMKO BHI HAI, PYAR TUMKO BHI HAI
TOH YE KYA SILSILE HO GAYE
BEWAFA HUM NAHI, BEWAFA TUM NAHI
TO KYUN ITNE GILE HO GAYE
CHALTE CHALTE KAISE YE FASLE HO GAYE
KYA PATA, KAHAN HUM CHALE
sanskar sat leaning on the door for long. he was blank, completely blank to react in any way. closing his eyes he could just remember was swara going out of mm.
he opened his eyes in extreme frustration. he was shattered and couldn’t believe on it. he looked around the room to only remember swara in each corner of the room.
he got up and moved towards the wall where his and swara’s photos were hanged. those were not photos but memories of precious moments of their life which he had himself got framed and decorated their room just for swara.
removing one photo frame which had only swara’s pic, he moved his fingers over it.
sanskar- kyu? kyu chod kar chali gayi tum? maine rukne ke liye bola phir bhi chali gayi. ye jaanane ke bawajud ke main phir tumhe ….tumhe kabhi phir nahi apnaunga, phir bhi chali gayi. main kuch maine nahi rakhta naa tumhare liye….kya koi ahemiyat nahi hai meri tumhare zindagi mein? [TRANSLATION- why? why did you leave me and go? i asked you to stay back then also. even after knowing that i will not accept you in my life again. don’t i have any importance in your life?]
sanskar- [wiping his tears which were continuously flowing from his eyes] i loved you like it’s my only work, only reason to live. and you….you just let go off me everytime. why? why swara why? wasn’t my love enough. did it lack somewhere. didn’t i loved you enough swara that you left me, blaming me, accusing me.
sanskar- what is my fault if laksh went missing.i am finding him then too why?
sanskar- don’t i have the right to get love, to receive trust of person’s who are my dearest. then why you blamed me swara? our relation… you just broke it and walked off. didn’t you think about me. why didn’t you think about me even once. you think about everybody…. doesn’t i come in that count. am i the least important person in your life that you chose leaving me each time rather than chosing me over others.
sanskar- thank you swara for showing me what i am to you. thank you for making me realise that love is not meant for me. that i am nobody to anyone.i am meant for responsibilities, for understanding everyone, for being left alone behind, for everything but love.
sanskar- i will never forget swara the pain and the feeling you gave me today. i will never forget that you gave me the pain to live without you, your love and trust, and with your accusations. i will endure it in my heart all my life to never let anyone come this close to me. and i will not forgive you ever for leaving me. you stood by me in difficult times of the family and even when i was accused but then today you broke the myriad of love, trust and hope i had built and i am thankful to you.
sanskar- i was living my life without you but you came to give love and snatch it this way. i am such a fool to love again, accept you just to be ditched by my love and fate. i am again on the same path where i was six and half years before. alone to deal with my state myself.
sanskar- see now also i am crying and for whom….you….but not anymore. i will embrace this loneliness for forever so that i don’t give any chance to anyone to leave me lonely. only this loneliness is a true companion which never betrays you. this loneliness never betrays swara unlike you.
he clutched her photo near his heart to dry all his tears tonight to never cry again, to never be hurt again, to never feel betrayed, lonely and unwanted, to never feel this pain again. he controlled his tears and slowly his pain was turning into anger. he was transforming back into the heartless and emotionless sanskar.
[PYAR HUMKO BHI HAI, PYAR TUMKO BHI HAI
TOH YE KYA SILSILE HO GAYE
BEWAFA HUM NAHI BEWAFA TUM NAHI
TOH KYUN ITNE GILE HO GAYE
CHALTE CHALTE KAISE YEH FASLE HO GAYE
HMMM HMMM HOO HMM KYA PATA
KAHA HUM CHALE]*2
both were crying, both were in their worst condition.
DUNIYA JO PUCHE TOH KYA HUM KAHE
KOI YE HUMKO SAMJHADE
TESH LAGI DO PAL MEIN TOOT GAYE
SISHE KE THE KYA SAB VAADE
swara- sanskar i didn’t know what i was saying but why you said that you will never accept me back. and on that day you said that our relation was over how could you say that. i was hurt….i know i went against your promise but then also …. but i am sorry for what i said today. everything was so much in a mess that i couldn’t think wisely and spoke all rubbish. please forgive me.
JATA HAI KOI KYUN SAPNON KO TUKRAKE
PAYEGA YE DIL KYA KISI KO BATAKE
CHALTE CHALTE RAKH HUM BIN JALE HO GAYE
HMM HMM HMM HOOO BOOJH GAYE DIYE PYAR KE
sujata came and knocked sanskar’s room door but he didn’t opened just said that “leave me alone mom for sometime please” in his heavy broken voice.
PYAR HUMKO BHI HAI PYAR TUMKO BHI HAI
TOH YEH KYA SILSILE HO GAYE
DOOB GAYA HAI JAISE DARD MEIN DIL
AASUN BHARI HAI AB AANKHEN
TANHAIION KI JO ROTH AA GAYI
UJDI HUI HAI SAB RAHE
SOCHA THA PAYENGE DONO EK MANZIL KO
RAAHEN JO BADLI TOH TUMHI BATA DO
CHALTE CHALTE GUM KAHAN KAFILE HO GAYE
HMM HMMM HMM HOO KHO GAYE KAHAN RAASTE
PYAR HUMKO BHI HAI, PYAR TUMKO BHI HAI
TOH YE KYA SILSILE HO GAYE
BEWAFA HUM NAHI BEWAFA TUM NAHI
TOH YE KITNE GILE HO GAYE
CHALTE CHALTE KAISE YE FASLE HO GAYE
both dozed off crying remembering their beautiful moments and the darkest days of their life. both were in great pain and didn’t knew what the further life will be like.
done with this part.
thank you for all the comments and support and also sorry that all had to wait for months for this story.