SWASAN – Acceptance (14)

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Episode 13

Hello everyone..I was really, really busy today. Sorry for not replying friends but I read your comments.

‘what about your revenge?’
‘ does killing him will return your parents’
‘ but you can’t leave the one who made you suffer’
‘ love is strong than hatred’
‘ you need to harm ram Prasad’
Swara sighed for the battle between her heart and brain. She is walking along the desserted road under dark, grey clouds. It seemed like it would rain heavily. Wrapping her arms around herself, she made her way to graveyard. The chills sent by the cool breeze, the haunted look of the place, the dense fog didn’t affect because it is the place she loves the most. Gulping hard, she walked few steps and saw two graves. She kneeled infront of one and placed her palm on it.

” ma!” She called out for her mother with tears. Few childhood memories of her parents pampering pained her.
” why only me ma? Why did you leave me? What mistake did I do to loose your love?”
Tears now knew no limits and they kept their way down her cheeks. Swara pressed her left cheek on the top of grave and closed her eyes in pain. She lifted her head to sky when a tear drop touched her cheek.
” atleast, I have some one to cry”. Rain is a symbol of joy, fresh life but for her it is unseen sorrow.
” please ma.. Don’t cry for me” she murmured with choked voice. She cuddled herself by pressing her kness to her chest. She wrapped arms around her knees and supported her back to the grave. She sobbed and sobbed until it felt like hours. Noone is there to listen her pain, her emotion. she is left alone in this world as always. Her eyes burned with revenge once again. She wanted ram Prasad to experience loneliness but not sanskar. She soaked in the heavy rain and shivered occasionally when cold winds touched her. Nothing is new, nothing is new to her.

Suddenly, she felt something warm around her shoulders. The wind had a very familiar scent which didn’t need any thinking because swara knew it. She lifted her head from knees only to see Sanskar’s emotionless face with painful and caring eyes. He stood beside her waiting for her arrival. Swara wiped her tears and followed him to the car. Casually, she turned her head to left and saw some child shivering on the road. She smiled a sad smile and donated the jerkin which sanskar gave her.
Swara changed into night dress after reaching manison. Her heart is too heavy to notice anything expect her parents. Their images kept running in her mind so the tears. She slept on the bed but tears didn’t stop. She closed her eyes thinking about her childhood. She badly wanted someone to soothe her, someone to burst her bottleup emotions but she is lonely in this world, always, forbidden by the society. Some soft fabric softer than cotton touched her cheeks. She opened her eyes and saw sanskar standing beside her.

” shh” sanskar said to swara sitting beside her on bed.
Their eyes met but she trailed off. Seeing him straight into his eyes is making her weak more than she is. Sanskar sighed and wiped her tears. It shocked her but that didn’t go into her brain which is preoccupied by her parents. A blank period came in between them in which either of them don’t know who initiated but they end up in hugging each other tightly. Sanskar’s protectiveness and care melted her and she sobbed burying her face in his nape. He rubbed her back assuring her and it felt like heaven. She badly wanted someone to soothe her and here, the person whom she gave pain is again by her side..it just increased her pain.
” I was ten” swara spoke out once she calmed. Sanskar still pressed her tight to his body.
” deen dayal gadodia is my grandfather. They were not rich but managed to send my dad foreign for studying business course where he met my mother and married her. Their marriage resulted in a war between my dad and Mr. Gadodia just because my mother is a Bengali but they are rich. My papa was forbidden by them and so he settled in London.” Swara took a deep long breath and pulled herself from the hug. Sanskar angled his head reading and understanding her.
” my maternal grandparents helped my dad to establish a business and he became successful. Once, he had to visit India for one business deal and it is with your dad.” Sanskar gulped and sighed.

” later they became partners and my parents came to India. I was suppose to come after a month because of my semester. I was all jumping in joy to meet my parents because they didn’t leave me for a second. With some much of excitement, I landed in Kolkata. I reached my house along with one of my dad’s friend but… ” she choked. Fresh set of tears formed in her eyes thinking about that day. Sanskar gave her water bottle. She drank and waited for a moment to calm down.
” my mom and dad were lying on the ground, lifeless surrounded by pool of blood. For the first time in my life, I saw my so called grandfather.. I thought that they will shower me the love that was taken by God but…” She smiled sadly ” he didn’t allow me to stay with me. I was impure for him. He didn’t even allow my parents funeral as my dad did a sin of marrying a Bengali girl according to him. So, my parents bodies were buried. I remember, ……my dadi pleaded him for me but his stone heart didn’t melt…he..he threw me out of the house and replaced my dad in business”
Her fingers trembled as her lower lip. She tried to surpress her pain but failed, badly.

” let your pain out” sanskar said to her in a deep, caring voice. He placed his hand on her shoulder for support.
” what else.. I stayed on the road. My dad’s friend’s wife didn’t allow me to stay there and no one even cared for me. I passed my days on footpaths. Sometimes, I wanted to end up myself but being a ten year old, I didn’t know anything at that time. Four days passed. I was feeling hungry but no source. To satisfy my hunger, I forward my hands but received stray food…what a people we have in our society. Then I understood that noone will help me. I must either survive or die but as I said, hunger changes a person. I started theft of food items once in two days. It didn’t felt wrong because I want to satisfy my hunger.” She paused for a moment and turned to sanskar who had shocked expression plastered on his face.
” may be four or five months I guess..after that, I was kidnapped by beggars mafia. I was so afraid. There were many children who were crippled. I heard two men discussing about how to cripple me and others. My heart raced. I didn’t want it but I had no other way. I became angry with my so called Dada. I prayed God to save me and I think for the first time in my life, he listened me. That night, police ride happened and we were taken to orphanage in Kolkata and then shifted to Mumbai.”
” how did you meet vansh then?” Sanskar questioned her in a low voice because it is not correct time to but he equally wanted to know .

” few orphanages just show up.” Swara continued ignoring him ” mine was the same. We were never given good food, good clothes. We were never loved by the management and it burned me. Revenge is the only word that kept running in my mind. I studied hard and thanks to orphanage for that. Just two years before, vansh came to me. He introduced himself as my dad’s neighbour friend and said that he knew who killed my parents. That’s it. We both plotted against your family and entered laksh’s life for revenge.. But..” She choked again.
” you end up in loving me” sanskar finished her and she widened her eyes.
Sanskar gave her a faint smile ” sleep swara.”
” sanskar!” She called him.
” hmm”
” you said you hate betrayal and that’s what I did ” she cautiously spoke reading his expressions.” Then why did you forgive me?”.
Sanskar closed his eyes before opening them ” because you are not wrong. I know how it feels when you miss your loved ones. You betrayed me but the reason is true. You just want to..to satisfy yourself. That’s it and mainly you didn’t betray me for money ”
Swara smiled at him and leaned on the head rest. Sanskar is still sitting beside her.

” laksh once said that you love black. Even my favorite color is black” swara said staring into the emptiness of the room with broken voice. ” it is color..”
” of emptiness” sanskar cut her and continued ” color of pain, color of fear, color of attitude, color of coldness, color of dark, color of sadness and definitely not a color of..”
” victory” swara completed him. They both stared into each other eyes transforming unspoken words which only they can understand. The heat and truthfulness in his gaze burned her and so she shifted her eyes to his left arm. Something came to her mind and she frowned.
” sanskar” she called him mysteriously.

“What happened?” Laksh asked sanskar glaring swara at the dining table. Swara stared at her fingers which are rested on her lap.
Sanskar shrugged and raised his chin to swara ” she has something to share with”
Laksh’s nostrils flared and he stood up in rage.” I am not going to listen her. ”
” laksh please ” ragini pleaded squeezing his hand. His eyes softened and he resumed.
” you continue” ragini stated to swara. She lifted her head with guilt written on her face. She glanced laksh before turning to ragini
” there is someone else who is trying to harm sanskar” her voice is replete with truth and confidence yet it is shaky.
” it will be definitely you” laksh snapped sanskar’s glare shit his mouth
” why do you think in that way?” Laksh asked swara trying to act calm and mature
She locked her eyes with laksh ” because, neither me nor vansh attacked sanskar at mall.”
Laksh opened his mouth wide.