Swasan : Destiny (Episode 48)

I was im awe after reading ur comments yesterday. Ty all for ur support. Honestly, I dont think I will be able to end this soon. But also I don’t wanna make it sound like an Ekta Kapoor serial. So no dragging x x

And also this is the last set of episodes. So I want you all to comment because as a writer its really painful to write the concluding part of a story. I badly need your support for that, okay?

And if you haven’t noticed we are coming closer to the golden jubilee of this ff !!!! Yay !!!!

~~Confrontation~~

Sanskar’s pov ~~

What do I do with my life?

Three years ago, when Swara left, at least I had a little hope somewhere that she would come back to me, and she did.

But this time I was hoping against hope. I knew there was no hope, and that she was not going to come back to me. Even if she did, how was I supposed to forgive her?

Okay, I understood everything she went through. She had problems recollecting things and getting her life back on track, she was frustrated with no memory of her past, and to add to that, I left her when she needed me there. But does that mean that she should go and sleep with somebody else?

No. She was wrong here, and yet, in the end, the truth remained same — I loved her. It had been two days and I hadn’t stepped out of my room. It sucked. I tried to hate her, I tried to destroy all memories of her…but I couldn’t, for I loved her truly… But, now I was not going to fight for her. Not anymore. There’s a limit to everything and this time she had crossed it. . .

Swara’s pov ~~

Call him? No? Yes?

I debated as my finger hovered over the call button on the screen. I wanted to call him so bad. I needed him…and the person I was planning to call was Ishaan.

He had no clue about the big lie I had told. He had no clue that Sanskar was back,and I guess he needed to know. It was just me and him who knew the truth. Truth that I did not sleep with Ishaan, and now, I needed him to play along. I knew that I was caught up between a web of lies, but I had to do it in order to get away from Sanskar. He had to know what it felt like when you’re being cheated.

I finally called Ishaan. . .

“You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend?” Ishaan asked, quite taken aback.

“Just pretend, okay? I know I’m asking you for too much and its okay if you can’t do it.” I said, followed by a long pause.

“Okay, I am in…” He said. ‘That didn’t take much…’ I thought. Just as I was about to thank him, he spoke in between.

“You know it’s not really bad idea. But what if we don’t pretend? You can be my girlfriend…for real.” He said. I sighed.

“Shut up, Ishaan. I thought we had a talk about this before.” I said. I knew Ishaan liked me or maybe more than that. But I had no such feelings for him, and I had told him not to bring up that topic again. He seemed to understand but he always kept on telling me the reasons to date him.

“Okay, okay. I will.” He said with a sigh and hung up.

Great. Here I was dealing with remembering my old life, and my feelings for Sanskar, and there was Ishaan…convincing me to be his real girlfriend.

As I was about to take a shower to clear my head, my phone buzzed.

Laksh calling… I answered.

“Hey Roy. Sun, tonight, we’re celebrating at my place because Ragini and I are going to get engaged next month. I know it’s a little early to celebrate, but anyway. Everybody is gonna be there, and you’re gonna show up too. No excuses.” He said, all in one shot. I didn’t even get to say a good hello.

“Okay, hi, first of all, and secondly, congrats on engagement. Thirdly, I’m sorry. I can’t come.” I said, realizing that I cannot just get up and go there. Everybody probably hated me there, and by everybody, I meant Sanskar. It was easy for me to just hide in my room all day.

“If you can’t come, then I’m gonna come, pick you up no matter how you are, and bring you home. So better say yes.” He said, dead serious.

“No.”

“Okay then. I’ll have to come.” He said.

f**k. Is he seriously coming? No he won’t. He can’t.

“No, wait! No. I’ll come. I’ll come! You’re pathetic Roy.” I said, not realizing that I had called him by his surname. After I lost all my memory, he once told me, that since we shared the same surnames, we called each other by our last names – Roy.

“That’s better. Now be here by 7.” He said, and I expected him to hang up. But to my surprise, he didn’t. He was dead silent for a moment, and then suddenly spoke up, startling me.

“Can I ask you a favour?” He asked.

“No.”

He snickered. “I’m serious.”

“Alright what?”

“Bring Ishaan as well. . .” He said. I almost choked after hearing that. Why does he need Ishaan? I don’t think that they even speak to each other properly. I thought. Besides, whatever happened with Sanskar, I seriously didn’t expect Laksh to invite Ishaan.

“Bring who?” I asked making sure I had heard the right name.

“Ishaan. I would’ve invited him only if he would’ve answered my calls. It’s nothing related to whatever issues you, Sanskar and Ishaan have. I just wanted him to come, that’s all.” He said.

I sighed. Convincing him to go was easy. Asking him to pretend to be my boyfriend…even more easy. But acting like a perfect couple in front of Sanskar, was not as easy as I had thought.

“I’ll ask him, but I’m not sure. But…um…are you sure you really want us to come?” I asked.

“Ofcourse, I do.” He replied.

All I thought was – why?

“Hey, can I ask you something?” I asked, really curious to know the answer to my question.

“Anything.”

“Why are you doing this? I mean, considering how bad girlfriend I was, how much I hurt your best friend, I don’t think there’s a reason for you to be my friend, is it?” I asked.

He was silent for a moment and then spoke up.

“Do you think you were my friend only because you were dating Sanskar? How stupid. I’m still by your side, because I know it very well that you’re going through a rough patch right now. You’re not the bad girl who breaks someone’s heart like it’s nothing. You’re good and pure. I know that, because I have met the old Swara….Sanskar’s Swara. And I also know that something has changed you. I don’t know what, but something has. I don’t know about the others, but I still have faith in you. I’ll always have.” He said.

I didn’t know whether to be happy that somebody actually cared or to be sad that I lied to somebody who cared. When he said Sanskar’s Swara, it felt good. I was longing to hear that. I wanted to ask him everything.

Why did he cheat on me? Does he even love me? Was I not good enough for him? And so many questions. But I didn’t. Or rather, I couldn’t.

“There’s somebody out there who actually cares. . .” I said.

“Why would you think that nobody cares? You’ve no idea how much Ragini cares about you. How much I worry about you.” He said. What was the point in everybody else caring when the one I wanted to care, didn’t.

And as if he read my mind he continued.
“Oh and in case you don’t know; the one who cares the most is him. Sanskar does not hate you, Swara. He can’t. He loves you too much. He may not talk to you or pretend to be happy without you, but from inside, he cares. He too knows that.”

“If he cared them why did he –” I said, but he cut me off.

“He left because that deal was important! Every single day, all he kept talking about was you. He missed you like hell…” He said. Really? I had heard that from Sanskar too. All I wanted to ask, was that, if he cared, then why did he cheat? Why did he sleep with anyone else?

I was about to ask him the same question, but all I heard from the other end was a beep. Did he hang up? The line was silent, and I looked at my phone’s screen. Switched off…

Battery dead. I rolled my eyes and cursed the stupid device before plugging it to the charger.

I had to take a shower, and most importantly, I had to inform Ishaan all about the last moment party thing.

I hope it all to end soon…

Sanskar’s pov ~~

“It’s good to see you out of that room.” Laksh said as I arrived at his house. Almost everyone was present…except her. I knew I wasn’t supposed to look for her when there was nothing left between us. But even after whatever happened, some part of me was dying to see her.

“She’ll come. You get your butt inside.” Laksh said, leading me in. I greeted everyone, putting on the same good old smile. It felt good, being in a different atmosphere. My messes up room, where there was hardly any place for one to walk, had become boring.

It was really annoying to get those sorry looks from people. I wondered how the news spread like a fire, but I wasn’t happy with that at all.

Not wanting to ruin the cocktail party or anybody’s mood, I chose a corner to sit alone and grieve. All I did since last couple of days, was to feel sorry about myself and try to hate Swara. Well you could say that I was successful in doing the first thing, but the second one was the toughest one. . .

I was trying to divert my attention, when my eyes fell on a girl standing far away from me. She was talking to Laksh and I immediately knew who that was…the one I wanted to stay away miles from — Swara.

Wearing a high waisted black shorts and a cream coloured sweatshirt, she flaunted her perfect figure. She wasn’t too curvy, but neither she was too skinny. Didn’t matter what she wore, she always managed to take my breath away. I had almost forgotten that she wasn’t alone.

She was with him . . .

I guess that was the only thing left to see. A few minutes ago, I felt so good. Like I needed this change. But now, I felt like throwing up. I was just better off my room, amidst old unwashed clothes and stinky shoes and what all crap.

I didn’t even realize that I was staring at Swara, until someone tapped my shoulder. It was her. I snapped out of my thoughts of finding ways to kill Ishaan, and looked at Swara who stood right in front of me.

It’s weird how she managed to make me go weak every time she looked into my eyes. But this time, I composed myself on time. ‘Not anymore…’ I thought and put on a brave face.

“What?” I asked trying to be as rude as possible. Even though it hurt…

“Nothing. I came to get a drink.” She replied with a sweet smile which indirectly sent the message – mind your own f**king business.

“I’m sorry, but do I look like a bartender to you?” I asked, trying to be rude again.

“Not really, because of that jacket. But if you remove that, I’m sure there will be no difference.” She said, pointing at me jacket.

C’mon…insulting my fashion sense was no less than insulting me… Watch out!

“Really? You know what you look like? If you take off that shirt, you surely look like a whore…oh wait! Who am I kidding? You are one, aren’t you?” I said.

The moment I said that, she just…changed. Like in a fraction of second, she went from acting all rude to being an innocent puppy. She was tearing up, and I immediately regretted what I had just said. I could’ve kept my mouth shut and walked away, but I didn’t. Instead, I made it all worse.

“I didn’t mean that.” I said coldly. I wanted to hug her and apologise right at the moment, but this stupid ‘EGO’ always comes in between.

“No.” She said in a cracking voice. “You meant that.”

Okay, maybe I did. But that was just a snide comment. I didn’t intend to hurt her that much. I could never do that on purpose.

“I did, okay? But not in that sense. You started it and I just replied back.” I said and shrugged.

“Ofcourse I started. Right…at least I didn’t call you something so cheap.” She said.

“You want to talk about cheap? I say a word to you and that’s cheap. You sleep with somebody else and that’s perfectly alright?” I asked and didn’t even realize that I had actually raised my voice on her. People were looking at us and it got more and more awkward.

“Ofcourse I do! Why shouldn’t I? Give me one good reason to stay with you. You said I cheated. You called me a whore. What are you? Think about what you’ve done and then get back to me.” She said. She seemed really pissed off and so did I.

“There’s nothing left to get back to you for! How can you even blame me for whatever happened? It was you and him. I was the one who loved you since the beginning, but all you did, was to take me for granted. You did so many mistakes, and everytime I covered up for you. I thought let it be. She’s going through a lot. But I was wrong! You used me, Swara! Open your eyes and see what you’ve become and then get back to me.” I said, letting out everything that I had buried inside myself for days.

She was taken aback. All she did, was turn around and leave. Everybody, except me, stood dumbstruck with whatever scene was going on, and I, on the other hand, not knowing how to deal with all this shit in my life, walked away…

Next update : Cuddles ?❤

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I wrote this just to prove that I really love Swasan. Some mistakes deserve punishment, I guess. This is just one of them.