SWASAN – MR MAHESHWARI AND I
Heyy, It’s Anjali back with the next chapter!!!
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Swasan emo convo and heartbreak!!
CHAPTER 37
AT ABOUT 3 IN THE MORNING
Swara woke up suddenly and rubbed her eyes unfocusedly as she adjusted her eyes to the dim light in the room. As she sat up and leaned against the counter, she could see the stars through the window as the curtains were not drawn. Swara smiled. She had alway loved the stars.
Her Papa used to take Ragini and her to watch them every night when they were small. She still could remember his words.
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Papa (in memory) : Swara, Ragini! Do you know why I show these stars to you everyday?
Young Swara : No Papa! Why?
Papa : Beta! Just picture at this sky without the stars or the moon. How does it look?
Young Ragini : Black! Completely dark and empty..
Papa (smiling) : Good! Now, Both of you, Listen to me! You both may be a bit young for this lesson. But it is a very important one, so I will teach you now..
The two girls looked at him with wide eyes.
Papa : Though I pray it never does, There may come a time in your lives when your heart may feel empty and black… Just like that sky! (pointing above) At that time, you may feel that you will never succeed or that all is lost! But I want you to remember the stars at that time.
Swara (confused) : Stars, Papa?
Papa : Haan, Meri bacchi! Stars…. Just as they light up this black sky now by twinkling and making us happy, We too should remember the little things which make us happy.
Ragini : Papa! I don’t understand!
Papa (taking Ragini on his lap) : Suno! These stars offer us hope Ragini! They light our way and make us feel that there is some beauty in this world. In the same manner, Even in our hearts, we should learn to build hope so that they twinkle like tiny stars. Take the things that give you happiness and turn them into giant balls of hope and keep them in your hearts.
Swara and Ragini nodded, finallly understanding.
Papa : Swara! Ragini! Promise me you will always remember this! Never ever suffer in despair!
Both : We promise Papa!
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Swara smiled nostalgically remembering his words.
Swara (thinking) : Papa is right! I can’t wallow in self-pity and despair!
She got up to go look at the stars, but then saw her mother sleeping beside her.
Swara (whispering) : I can’t open the window now. The AC is switched on. I’ll go to the drawing room balcony and stand!
She adjusted her mom’s blankets, smiled and went out of the room into the balcony! She gazed at the stars as she recalled the conversation last night. She thought she might cry again, but it seemed she had exhausted them.
Swara : Sanskaar doesn’t love me. But he does care for me. A lot! That does mean something Swara! That is your star! Maybe, with time, He will love me. It is your mistake anyways. You pushed him too far too soon.
She turned to look inside the hall, where the room was entirely in disarray, with half done preparations for today’s function.
Swara (stunned) : Today is my mehendi!!! Today my wedding celebrations begin!
Suddenly, She felt like she had to talk to Sanskaar. Not face to face, not even talk over the phone, but just have a conversation with him. She sat for a while, then took her phone out and sent a message on Whatsapp, knowing instinctively that he would be there.
She saw the time (4:00) but she could feel him awake!
So she sent a message : HI!
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AT ABOUT 3:30
Sanskaar woke up with a start. He got up slowly and straightened himself. He saw Mom leaning against the counter sleeping and snoring slightly. He smiled and gently made her lie on the pillow. He softly kissed her cheek and went out the room. He decided to go to the balcony and sit on the sofa there.
He slowly walked to the balcony and sat down. He kept one hand behind his head and leaned back, still thinking about yesterday.
Sanskaar : I never expected it to hurt so much. Not having someone’s love. What a cruel emotion this is. When we have it, it hurts. When we don’t have, it hurts. Swara doesn’t love me. She made that very clear. But what do I do now? Mom already thinks I am broken inside. She thinks I am hiding something. What answer do I give her?
He stared at the moon. Contrary to other people who usually liked stars, He loved the moon. It was so plain and dull. Yet, When the sun’s rays reached it, It shone! Just like how his life shone when Swara was with him.
He groaned. He was growing too sappy and emotional nowadays. HE tried to remember two months ago when he was SANSKAAR MAHESHWARI, A man who didn’t know Swara existed. A man who was not in love and sighed.
Sanskaar : Life was way less complicated then.
Suddenly, his phone pinged and he took it surprised. Who was chatting with him at this hour? Then he smiled. It had to be her, Who else?
He opened Whatsapp!
Swara (msg) : Hi!
Sanskaar (msg) : Hi! Why are you up?
Swara(msg) : couldn’t sleep! You?
Sanskaar (msg) : Same. Neend khul gayi..
Swara (msg) : Hmm…
Sanskaar frowned. They sounded so formal. And frankly, he didn’t like it! Gone was their easy banter and playfulness. The words may have been simple but underneath, They held a world of meaning.
Sanskaar closed his eyes. He had hurt Swara! He had shouted at her without any reason. She had a right to question him and because he had not been brave enough to tell the truth, she had suffered.
Sanskaar didn’t realise the true reason Swara was hurt was because he told he didn’t love her. It didn’t occur to him.
Sanskaar : How do I tell her sorry? I have to do something.
Just as he was about to type a message to Swara, He got another ping.
Swara (msg) : I am going to go to the temple today at 6. Will you join me?
Sanskaar (msg) : Of Course. I will come pick you up at 5:45?
Swara (msg) : Nahi Sanskaar! I’ll meet you there itself. Want to think for a while.
Sanskaar sighed.
Sanskaar : This is all your fault, Sanskaar! If you could at least tell Swara what you are hiding, None of this would have ever happened. But how do I tell her that I’m going to die? Out loud, It sounds silly even to me. But it is the ultimate truth for me and I will die if she laughed at me. No, I am not brave enough to stand that. In a way, I suppose I should be thankful that Swara doesn’t love me.
He replied to Swara saying he will meet her there, then sighed one last time and closed his eyes.
Sanskaar : Yes… I am grateful that Swara doesn’t love me because if she did, That would have been my greatest joy. And my greatest sorrow. And that would break me. It would.
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AT 6AM
Sanskaar ascended the stairs to reach the temple.
Sanskaar : Has Swara come yet? I can’t see her.
He took out his phone to call her when he saw a girl in an orange salwar already there and praying.
Sanskaar : Swara!
Sanskaar smiled. He didn’t realise just how much it hurt not to see her. He needed her 24*7.
He stepped inside and stood beside her to see Swara with her eyes closed, praying intently. He tried to turn away from her and pray, but she had him hooked like a magnet.
He stared at her like a man starved for food. With his eyes showing intense longing, He drank in the sight of her beautiful features. Again he wondered how people could compare Ragini’s beauty over his Swara’s. They both were beautiful in their own way. But for him, Swara outshone everyone….
Her eyelashes, long and curved, her kajal outlining her eyes accentuating her look. Her lips, full and kissable.
Sanskaar sighed and Swara opened her eyes.
Swara : Sanskaar!
Sanskaar started and looked at her. Swara, feeling uncomfortable with his intense stare gestured towards the Lord, asking him to pray. He complied and folded his hands and prayed.
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Swara watched Sanskaar as he prayed. There was something so calm about him as he closed his eyes and his features softened. She frowned. Till now, She thought that only his actions made him seem worried about something. But now, she could see it on his face. Whatever was bothering him was eating him up day by day.
She continued to stare at him. Sanskaar was such a handsome guy. The Maheshwaris had seriously been blessed by the Gods of beauty. Each and everyone of them were drop dead gorgeous.
Sanskaar opened his eyes and turned towards her, looking at her in some surprise.
Sanskaar : What?
Swara (shaking her head) : Kuch nahi! What did you pray for?
Sanskaar : What did YOU pray for?
Swara : Strength.
Sanskaar (puzzled) : Strength?
Swara (nodding, softly) : Strength. I prayed to God to give you strength to fight your demons and lessen your pain. I asked him to give you the strength to be able to succeed in life. I asked him to shower my share of blessings on you so that you can finally be happy…..
Sanskaar’s breath caught!
All of Swara’s prayers were for him. How did one not love a girl like that?
Swara : Now tell me, What did you pray for?
Sanskaar : You.
Swara froze. She had not been expecting that.
Swara (stammering) : Whaa…aat? …. Me?
Sanskaar : You. I asked him to forgive me for hurting you. I thanked him for bringing you in my life. I thanked him for the wonderful bahu my mothers are going to get. And I prayed to God asking him to fulfil all your wishes and desires in life or, At least give me the power to do so. I asked him to allow me to bring you happiness.
Swara stared at him, speechless. Sanskaar had once more proved just how much he cared for her.
Swara : I…… I… um…. I
Suddenly her face grew hot and she found that she was about to cry. Why, She didn’t know? Were they tears of joy? Were they tears of sadness? She didn’t know. But she felt like crying. And she didn’t want to do it in front of him.
So she ran…..
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Sanskaar was completely bewildered. One minute Swara was telling something. And the next, She ran away?
Sanskaar stood still for a minute completely confused. Then he began running in the direction Swara had gone. She had not gone out. Of this, he was certain. So she was somewhere in the temple.
Sanskaar : SWARA! Where are you? WHAT HAPPENED?
He ran through the temple courtyard. There was no one other than them at that time. It should have been easy to spot Swara! But she was nowhere to be seen.
His heart began to pound now. Swara was a strong and brave girl. But he still couldn’t stop the fear that was clawing through his mind. Where was Swara?
It suddenly struck him that he could call her. Like all typical TV serial people, He had completely forgotten about the technology they now had. He took his phone to call Swara when he noticed it.
A small piece of cloth on the ground, Orange in colour.
Orange?
Sanskaar : Swara!
He walked up to the cloth, which was near a pillar. As he went around the pillar, He saw Swara sitting and sobbing. She wasn’t crying or silently weeping. She was sobbing, leaning back against the pillar.
Sanskaar (worried and scared) : SWARA! What happened? Is there something wrong? Why are you crying?
Swara (looking at him, trying to stop her tears) : I don’t know. I don’t know… I don’t…..
Sanskaar knelt down and took her in his arms.
Sanskaar (soothingly) : Shhh…. No need to say anything. Let it all out!
Sanskaar (thinking, guilt-ridden) : Did I do this? Did I cause my strong girl to cry? Sanskaar, You had made a vow that you would never hurt her, but now, it seems like you’re always hurting her. Why can’t you do anything right?
He hugged her tightly so that he could reduce the guilt and pain in his heart.
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She cried and cried.
For what, She didn’t know. But she did know that she needed this. She needed Sanskaar to comfort her.
After a while, she stopped and they just sat holding each other. Swara finally let go of him, And they both got up. As she walked away from him, he caught her hand and pulled her back in a tight embrace.
Sanskaar (murmuring in her ear) : Why did you run like that? I almost lost my life not knowing where you were.
Swara closed her eyes and leaned back against him.
Saawariya..saawariya – 2
Raske bhare tore nain saawariya
Raske bhare tore naina
Raske bhare tore nain saawariya
Raske bhare tore naina
(Tadpat hoon din rain saawariya
Tadpat hoon din rain) – 2
Bin dekhe nahi chain saawariya
Bin dekhe naahi chain
Hoo raske bhare tore nain saawariya
Raske bhare tohre nain
Tirkit dha dha dha tirkit dha
Sanskaar made Swara face him and wiped her eyes which were still wet. He kissed each eye and her forehead. Swara cupped his face, which was filled with pain and shook her head no! He wasn’t supposed to worry. She took his hand in hers and kissed them.
Dard jiya ka kaase kahoon main – 2
Tees main kaise boloon
Piyaa binaa main jogan jogan – 2
Ban ke baanwariyaa doloon
Aur na kar bechain saawariya saawariya
Hoo raske bhare tore nain saawariya
Rass ke bhare tore nain
Sanskaar (finally letting go off Swara) : Sorry!
Swara (surprised) : Sorry?
Sanskaar : For yesterday… I’m so sorry Swara….
Swara (before Sanskaar could say anything else) : Stop Sanskaar! First of all, You don’t have to ask sorry. I am the one who needs to ask forgiveness from you. And next, We will have a deal.
Sanskaar : Deal?
Swara : Yes. From today, Our wedding celebrations are going to start. It is a time of joy and fun for both our families and us. I don’t want to let anything spoil that. So, We will not discuss yesterday at all. At least not for the next few days.
Sanskaar smiled and nodded.
Sanskaar : As you wish!
Swara (smiling back) : So Mr Maheshwari, Ready for the next stage in your life?
Sanskaar (winking) : How can I be ready to go to prison, Miss Gadodia?
Swara (scowling) : Prison? Sanskaar Maheshwari! I hate you… Marrying me is like prison? Wait till I get you…
She started chasing Sanskaar who had already begun running, laughing.
Sanskaar : Like always, You can’t catch me.
Swara : Sanskaar Maheshwari! Just you wait… Ganda aadmi!
She ran after him until the car after which they both paused for breath, laughing at each other.
Swara (panting) : Bas bas! I can’t run anymore. I will take my revenge some other way.
Just then, Someone called out to Swara.
Voice : Swara!
Swara and Sanskaar turned to look at the person.
Swara (cheerfully) : Sakshi! What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be in Mumbai?
Sakshi ( a forced smile on her lips) : Well… That didn’t work out. Actually, It is nothing. Forget it.
Swara (frowning) : Sakshi, Is something wrong?
Sanskaar ( also looking at her with concern) : What happened Sakshi? Please tell us.
Sakshi took a deep breath and replied.
Sakshi : The man who I love the most left me. No, Not for another woman. He’s not like that. He was going to introduce me to his family. It’s his brother’s wedding. And he was going to introduce me to his family. But yesterday, When we met in Mumbai, He told he couldn’t see me anymore. I don’t know what the problem is.
Swara : Are you sure there’s no other girl?
Sakshi : Yes Swara! He’s not like that… And his family don’t mind love marriages as well. Sure, I’m not a Marwadi like they are but his Bhabhi is a Bengali and they didn’t care. He has just converted his thoughts into some twisted logic and now doesn’t want to see me. I tried putting sense into him, but maybe he needed a few days off.
Swara hugged her and Sanskaar tousled her hair.
Swara : Don’t worry. I have complete confidence that you will get him back. If he truly loves you, He will come back to you. Go inside and pray. You’ll feel much better.
Sakshi nodded gratefully and smiled.
Sakshi : Anyways, You know what this means? It means I can attend all the functions in your wedding after all!
Swara (smiling) : That’s great! Today is the Mehendi… I’ll text you the address. You have to come. I’m so sorry to leave like this, Par bahut saari tayariyan karni hai.
She hugged her once more and Sanskaar gave their good-byes and they left.
Swara (In the car) : I hope that man, whoever he is, realises his mistake and goes back to Sakshi.
Sanskaar : Haan Swara. Even I hope he does. Chalo… Now I’ll drop you home. We have a lot of things to do today.
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Sanskaar parked in front of Swara’s house and looked at her.
Sanskaar : The process of Miss Gadodia to Mrs Maheshwari starts today. Are you ready?
Swara (smiling) : I was born ready, My dear! But I am, If you are.
They chuckled and Swara got down.
As Sanskaar was about to leave, Swara tapped the window and he stopped.
Swara : Isn’t that Laksh’s car?
Sanskaar (surprised) : It is. And Adarsh’s as well. When did he return from Mumbai… He wasn’t due until this evening. Hmmm… Looks like everyone is here. But for what?
Swara( puzzled) : Pata nahi! Let’s go and see.
They entered the drawing room to see two different world wars happening. Well, perhaps civil war… World was a bit of an exaggeration.
Annapurna : Sharmishta Ji! If I tell that we are going to help with today’s preparations, it means we are. That’s all.
Sharmishta : Par… Why do you want to take so much tension. I’ll do na..
Sujata : No Sharmishta ji! We like doing this.
Swara rolled her eyes and looked at Sanskaar amused who was looking at the other side where their siblings were arguing like little children.
Ragini : My sister will win.
Laksh (agreeing with her) : Yes, Swara will win. My bestie!
Uttara (indignantly) : Laksh bhai! You are going against your brother?
Adarsh : Chhod na Uttara! We both can defeat them anyday. We don’t need him.
Laksh : Oye hello…..
They continued bickering and Swara and Sanskaar shook their heads looking at them. They looked at each other, smiling, nodded and shouted.
Both : STOP!
The rest of them turned and looked at the two surprised.
Swara : Oh hello! What is happening here? This is a wedding, not a boxing match.
Sumi : Beta voh…
Sanskaar : Ma! We heard everything. And the solution is so simple.
Sujata : It is?
Swara : Haan! See, Now Badi Ma and Mom want to help. Toh let them help. Ma, That way you can help them during the Sangeet there tomorrow and they can’t tell anything.
The three elderly ladies looked at each other stunned and then chuckled.
AP : Best solution ever. We needn’t have argued needlessly.
Sumi : Achcha! Ab chaliye… I will show you the completed preparations for today.
The three left the room leaving the youngsters alone.
Sanskaar : And why were you fighting?
Ragini : These two (pointing to Adarsh and Uttara) are in Sanskaar’s team and Laksh and I are in Swara’s.
Swara : Yes, I got that. But why?
Uttara (incredulously) : Swara bhabhi? What do you mean why? Sangeet me competition toh hoga na… And who will stop the girls’ side from taking my bhai’s slippers? We need to be prepared for everything. Which is why we are forming teams. Except Laksh (shooting him a dirty look) has decided to turn traitor…
Laksh : Arre! I am no traitor! I am going to support my best friend, That’s all.
He went and gave Swara a side hug as she chuckled.
Swara : Haan! My draamebaaz will support me only.
Sanskaar (fake shock) : Bhai ho tum? Itna bada dhoka!!!
Adarsh (patting Sanskaar’s back ) : Chhod na bhai! I am there for you na… Aur hamari Uttara bhi! Laksh nahi chahiye!
Laksh : Yeah yeah… Even I don’t want to be part of the losing team. Aur haan… Karan is also in our team.
Adarsh : Arre… Yeh cheating hai! Three there and two here.
Laksh : Toh, Even you find a girl na.. Then she will be in your team.
Everyone burst out laughing and didn’t notice Adarsh’s smile disappearing.
Sanskaar : Vaise Adarsh! You were in Mumbai na? And you were supposed to come only in the evening. Then what happened?
Adarsh (fake smile) : Well, My meeting with the museum director got postponed to next month… So I took an earlier flight, that’s all…
Sanskaar : Accha!
Laksh : Ok.. We will continue this fight later. Abhi, We have lots of work to do.
Uttara and Ragini : Haan chalo!
The four of them left the room leaving a laughing Swara and Sanskaar behind.
Swara : Sab log kitne khush hai na Sanskaar!
Sanskaar : Haan… And it’s all because of you.
Swara : No.. It’s all because of us…..
Sanskaar (smiling) : Mr Maheshwari and Miss Gadodia…
Swara : Mr Maheshwari and I!!!
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PRECAP : MEHENDI and REVELATIONS
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So… This is the chapter… What did you think? Too emotional? Or balanced between fun and sadness??
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I guess I spoiled the meaning of the stars and all… I just wanted to include it bcos I too love stars.. 😛 😛
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Soo…. Sakshi’s back…. And you all can probably guess why she’s here… What’s gonna happen in her life?? 😮 😮
Btw… Suggest people to act as karan and sakshi.. It’s very annoying having a blurred face…
SO give ur opinions.. .and remember Adarsh and Ragini while doing so…
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And last but not the least…
THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE…
When I told about myself in the last chapter, I was thinking maybe I had made a mistake, Maybe it would sound like I was seeking sympathy…
But you guys were soo sweet.. I really don’t know what to tell you guys…
And the fact that you decided to share something about ur lives as well…. Thank you soo much for trusting me.
I now feel like I’ve become really close with you all and am immensely thankful to have friends and sisters.
THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN AND LOVE YOU ALL
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Ohh… I also wrote the prologue for my next one, It’s still untitled so read it and give suggestions for an apt title…
I will start this after I finish MMAI or as soon as hols start and I get some time…
And do read this analysis.. It has some unmentioned stories from before… So please read it once and try reading them.. A girl called Akira has written it!
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